The steady heart beat drumming in her ear was an all too familiar lullaby. A lullaby she had yearned for over the lost years without him in her bed.
No, their bed.
And now he was here, lying with her, fit together as one, and the pain of his eventual departure was already beginning to tug at her heart. Because he would have to leave right? If Gold being gone was the only thing allowing him to be here now she didn't want to think of his return. She also wondered if this was a mistake. If Killian was only to leave again for God only knows how long, perhaps she should have just stayed away from him. There was no way Gold would allow her to leave Storybrooke with him for her happy ending. Not with her life anyway. Emma gently ran her fingers through the patch of hair on his chest, snuggling her nose into his side to hide her threatening oncoming tears.
All good things came to an end. With that Emma Swan was all too familiar.
She gave his middle a squeeze and pressed a kiss to his shoulder and went to move away from him in search for her clothes. She was stopped by Killian's fingers wrapping around her wrist, giving her a gentle tug.
"Stay," he whispered sleepily.
Emma leaned over him, her hand stroking the scruff on his face and her thumb tracing the light scar on his cheek. She pressed a soft kiss to his opposite side, breathing him in; finding it impossibly hard to believe that still after all this time he still held the freeing scent of sea breeze.
"Killian, I can't," she apologized with a small frown.
"Why not, love?"
She bit down on her lower lip and just shook her head. "I can't," she repeated.
If Killian hadn't seen her lips move he wouldn't have known she spoke at all.
Emma pulled away from him and quickly got dressed, leaving the pirate feeling confused and rejected alone in the bed. She was pulling on her boots when he shifted to the edge of the bed, pulling the sheets around his waist.
"Emma, talk to me, please."
Emma squeezed her eyes shut and stood walking towards the door. "I just…I can't do this, not now. I'm sorry."
Killian's stomach threatened to spill its contents and his heart clenched in his chest. "What do you mean?" he stood, holding the sheets with one hand as he took a step toward her. She held up a hand to stop his movements. "Emma, don't do this, please don't walk away from this." he paused at the cracking in his voice, "from us."
"I can't take that risk, Jones. Not again." She didn't let the heartache in his voice falter her stance although it hurt her to see the pain in his searing blue eyes. And she knew the familiar words would only wound him more.
"Risk? Is that what I am, Swan? A bloody risk!?" He began to let out a dark laughter, running his hand through his hair as he paced in front of her. "I gave up everything for you!" He pointed an anguished finger at her, "I did it without second thought. Three hundred years of bottled up rage and unbridled revenge and would you like to know why?" He closed the gap between them, with nothing separating them but his hand on the roll in the sheet around his waist. "Because I believed in you, Emma. I believed in us." He leaned in close enough to taste the breath on her lips, "And I still do."
"And what happens when Gold comes back, Killian? Hmm? What happens then? Do you up and disappear for another few years and wait for him to leave again. Because that doesn't happen very often," Emma shot back.
"DAMNIT, EMMA!" His fist came down hard on the wall beside her head and she heard the wood splinter under his hand. "I know not what will happen when the crocodile returns, but know this," he pressed his forehead to hers and let out a sigh. "I will not leave you again. It was a mistake the first time, I should have found another way." Killian brought his hand up and slid it around the curve of her neck pressing her tighter against him his lashes fluttering against hers. "I cannot leave you, Emma. I will not."
"And what if there is no other way," she whispered in defeat, bringing a hand up to his shoulder. "Losing you- Killian, I don't think I could go through that again."
The corner of his mouth twitched upward and he took his hand in hers, pressing it the place where his heart lie. "You've never lost me, love, not for a moment. For while my heart beats so does my love for you."
Emma sighed, dropping her head to his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his back. She was a fool to think she could just walk away, not when she had done nothing but yearn for him in his absence. He pressed a kiss to her hair and held her close, his hand sneaking under her shirt and rubbing circles into her lower back.
Emma chuckled, her breath spreading a warmth across his skin. "We're a mess."
She felt his own laugh vibrate through his chest and another kiss was being brushed across her temple. "Aye lass, that we are. But you wouldn't have it any other way."
Emma pulled back and shook her head, a grin playing on her lips. "What fun would a seamless relationship with a dreaded pirate Captain be?"
"Ah, but you, Swan are far more dreadful than I when all riled up," he teased. He lowered his head and brushed the tip of his nose against hers before lightly capturing her lips, "And deliciously sinful."
Emma felt the heat begin to immediately pool in her abdomen and hated that she had to push him away again.
"Killian," she whimpered as his lips began to move down her neck, "Killian, I really can't stay."
With a final nip to her skin he pulled back, not bothering to hide the dejection in his face. "For so long I have wanted to do nothing but wake with you wrapped in my arms, and now you are the one who is going to leave."
Emma gave him a poke to the chest, "Don't you guilt trip me, Jones! What will I say to Mary Margaret? To David? They're watching me like a hawk. The two of them have been staying at my place ever since the hospital incident."
"Let me back in, Emma," he pleaded, "It was once my home as well. Our home, our bed. Or have you forgotten?" He said with a curl of his lip.
"I can't" she said through begging eyes, "not tonight." Emma sighed and pressed her palms against the sides of his face with a sad smile. "I'm sorry."
Killian's eye's dimmed before they slid closed and he nodded, turning his face to catch the inside of her palm in a swift kiss. "Don't leave me be for too long, love."
"Tomorrow, I promise." Her hands slid down, tracing the scars that lined his body and coming to rest on his hips. "Besides, I have something you might like to see."
Killian leaned forward, lips brushing her neck and husky whisper sending chills across her flesh.
"The only thing I'd like to see, Emma, is you back in that bed." His teeth lightly scraped her skin and her arms contracted around him. Killian continued on, dragging his lip up her neck and to her ear, his tongue darting out and flickering against her. Her knees wobbled and his arm was quick to slink around her back. He gently tugged on her earlobe, scruff tickling the side of her face.
"But if you're sure you can't stay-"
Emma spun him around and pinned him to the wall, her hands twined with his and securing them over his head. The only thing keeping the sheet around him now was the closeness of their bodies and she took the advantage to press her hips up into his.
Killian groaned and moved to catch her lips with his own but she ducked out of the way with a smirk.
"You see it's not nice to tease, my sweet Captain Jones."
A smile played on his lips while a sigh fell from his mouth. There was no Captain Hook here, Hook was someone that had been left in the past the moment he chose to be with her. Sure she still used the moniker to get under his skin when they had a row, and it always bothered him more than he cared to let her know. But now she was calling him by his proper title, his name of old, one he hadn't been called by anyone in centuries. And it was heaven in his ears.
Emma leaned in further, her lips ghosting over his cheek, "Tell me, Captain – " she secured his wrists in one of her hands and brought her other hand down between them, cupping him through the sheets, smirking when he let out a shuddering breath in her ear. " –do you enjoy being teased?"
"Emma, please," he swallowed, turning his head in an attempt to steal a kiss. Could he have easily over-taken her? Yes. But what was the fun in that?
"I already told you, Killian. I have to go." She pressed a chaste kiss on his lips and released him, leaving him half a second chance to grab the tented sheet at his waist.
She had just gotten the door open when he snapped it shut from behind her, causing her to turn to face him, and when she did she was met with a sinister smirk and dark navy eyes.
"Oh, no, lass. Now you stay, if not only for a little while."
"Killian, I really—"
His hand shot out and ripped her shirt open, sending the buttons scattering across the floor.
"Oops," he grinned with a bounce of his eyebrows.
Emma's mouth dropped open, gaping at the ruined state of her shirt and the smug face of the linen clad pirate in front of her. "Seriously? You're gonna pay for that, Jones."
"Is that a guarantee?"
She took a step forward, closing the small gap between them and grabbed the sheet in her fist, ripping it away with a yank. "It's a promise," she growled, just before she reached up and fused her mouth with his.
.
.
Emma felt like a teenager; sneaking back into her own apartment well past the morning hours with what was obviously not her shirt on under her jacket.
It was kind of thrilling actually. She never had this experience in her own years, sure she had done her fair amount of sneaking around but it was never for the sake of being in someone else's bed nor was it ever in the presence of her birth parents. She tiptoed over to the metal stairs, taking them one tantalizing step at a time until one groaned under her weight.
The living room lights flicked on and Emma's lips pressed into a tight line. "Shit!" she whispered to herself, turning slowly to see said parents standing beside each other with their arms crossed in front of them.
"Evening, Emma. Or should I say good morning?" David said in a scolding fatherly tone. "It was so nice of you to decide to come back home."
"Have a good time?" Mary Margaret smirked with an arched brow and David shot her a sharp look, not approving that his wife was less bothered that their daughter was out gallivanting with a pirate that left her a broken mess once before.
Emma rolled her eyes and went back down to the bottom of the steps, shedding her coat and tossing it over the back of the couch. "You know what, I really don't need you guys to be here."
"Clearly, you do." David sneered.
"I can take care of myself!"
"Oh? Like you have been? Putting on a happy face for Henry when we all knew you were anything but." David crossed the room, closing the distance between them. "Once a pirate always a pirate, Emma. It'll only hurt worse the next time."
"There won't be a next time!"
"You also said there wouldn't be a first time!" he countered, raising his voice to meet her tone.
Emma averted his gaze and ignored the churning pain in her gut. It had been hell getting David to accept the fact that his daughter was willingly choosing to be with the famed pirate Captain and it took Emma, Mary Margaret Henry and in the end even Killian himself to convince him that the feelings the pair shared were mutual and weren't going anywhere.
Come to find out, even after all the time they had spent apart they still fit together seamlessly.
"It wasn't like that, he had no choice," Emma whispered.
David scoffed, "Familiar words. Care to elaborate?"
"No," Emma answered bitterly. "I'm going to bed. You want answers, get them yourself."
It was probably a horrible idea sending her father to confront the man that had been a thorn in the whole family's side for the past six years, but at the moment she figured it would be the easiest way. Let them fight it out. Just like old times.
"Emma- " Mary Margaret beckoned softly, "We're just worried that's all."
"It's not me you need to be worrying about, it's Gold."
"Gold?" David pitched in, "Why Gold? He isn't a threat to any of us any longer. Hell, he practically did a one eighty after everything settled down, and now that he has Belle back- "
Emma held up a hand to silence him. "Henry is the only one he holds no threat to. Maybe."
Mary Margaret rushed to her side and grabbed hold of her arm, "What are you saying?"
Emma shook her head, "Nothing. Like I said, you want answers, go and get them. I'm not discussing this until we can all sit down and do it together. Openly."
Perhaps if she pushed her mother to tag along Killian wouldn't feel the sharp end of David's wrath.
Ha! Yeah right. She was sure he was still going to be less than gentle with his words for the pirate. But at least things would be out in the open then. And then just maybe they could figure out a way to keep Killian in Storybrooke, or at least let Emma go with him if given the chance. But she honestly didn't know if she could. She couldn't up and leave Henry. Yes he was nearly an adult himself now but she hadn't nearly enough time with him.
They would find a way. They had no choice; Emma refused to let him go again.
They would find a way.
She just hoped they would find it in time.
.
.
A/N: sorry guys! I was out of town last weekend then I lost half of this and had to start over :( So I won't bore you with a terribly long AN Just leave your thoughts in the box below, if you please.
Thanks!
Shelly
