Sibling Rivalry! The Smart Alec vs The Goofball Chapter 4: The Nightmare Begins!, a kingdom hearts fanfic

Haha, I have the perfect last name for Sora! Sora Harnett! Yeah, it's quite lame, but it kind of has he word 'Heart' in it, and Kingdom Hearts is all about hearts, ne? Where I got this name? NONE OF YOURE BUSINESS! MUHAHOHIHEHOHOHAHEHOHIHAHOHAYIHE!

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Sora: Hey Roxas, what do you think is going to happen in this chapter?

Roxas: I dunno. Hey, why don't we ask the Authoress?

Sora: Good idea!

-Authoress' house-

Authoress: -is playing FF12- Haha! Take that! Muhaha! Die you stupid thingy! Ahaha! Oh, Balthier died. Wait… no! Don't die, Balthier! Nooooooo! –burniates self-

Authoress' Brother: -sigh- there she goes again… -revives Authoress-

Authoress: I LIVE! –uses Phoenix Down and revives Balthier, then continues on her monster bashing and weird laughter-

(Knocking on the door)

Authoress: Aw, fu-k it. –says in booming voice- Enter, pitiful mortals!

(Sora and Roxas enter)

Sora: Yo, ROI (Haha, that sounds like Roy) We were just wondering what you're going to do to us in this chapter.

Roxas: What he said. (ROI for a name sounds ridiculous)

Authoress: Oh, then the both of you would have to say the disclaimer then.

Sora: -pouts- do we have to..? –puppy eyes-

Authoress: (Must… resist…) Yeah… or no tell.

Sora and Roxas: Tch. Fine. Renegade Of Illumination does not own Kingdom Hearts, except some of it's merchandise, not including access to all sorts of crappy cheats that ensure that you finish the game with flying colors. She does, on the other hand, own hair gel, so she can attempt Sora's or Roxas' hair, depending on mood. Now, what's going to happen to us?

Authoress: Haha, suckers. I'll never tell you!

Sora and Roxas: NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo! (Don't mind the weird capitalizing… I was bored)

Authoress: MUHAHUHIHOH! –stops abruptly- wait… I thought Roxas was supposed to be smart? Ah, well! AHEHEHEGHOHA!

"Where am I?"

Roxas pondered on this thought, as he looked around the circular, brick room he was somehow in. It's walls were made of very hard stone, whilst it's interiors consisted of various things, such as a bed, a dressing table, dinner table, a closet, and a big ass mirror.

Mirror…

Somehow, Roxas felt as if he was obliged to look into the particular object. Like it was his destiny… so, cautiously, Roxas neared the bigger than life object, and stared into its crystal clear surface.

And, sure enough, Roxas saw an image of himself, looking very lovely indeed. The baby pink dress and tiara suited his long, fluorescent blonde hair like a charm. Roxas had on slight makeup, and had tied his hair into a half-ponytail, looking absolutely delightful.

Wait a minute…

'WTF AM I DOING IN A DRESS?'

Roxas tugged on his beautiful, amber-embedded tiara, in hopes of tugging it off. Hopes were left as hopes, as the tiara rested gracefully, on top of Roxas' head. Great, just great…

Roxas then tried again, by tugging around his dress. Nope, didn't work. Roxas heaved a heavy sigh, when suddenly; he heard a familiar voice, calling out his name.

"Roxaria! Oh, dear Roxaria!"

As if spellbound, Roxas went toward the small window, which embedded itself somewhere on the walls of the circular room.

"Okay, since when was my name Roxaria?"

Roxas looked out of the single and only window available, and down into the handsome figure, clad in his silver armor and bright red cloak. A stylish symbol graced the chestplate of the armor, indicating the wearer's lineage. Roxas, or rather Roxaria, knew who it was right away.

"Sir Soradius!"

Said name removed his headgear, and opened his arms, as if to catch dear Roxa…ria...

"Lady Roxaria! Jump now!"

"What?"

"There is no time for the details, my dear Lady, but the Dark Knight is on his way! Now, jump! Hurry!"

Roxas was now very freaked out. Yet, despite his uneasiness, his body disobeyed his mind, and leaped out of the window, and into the waiting arms of Sir Soradius von Christ. (A/N God, I love that name! XD)

Immediately, Sir Soradius caught hi-err… her…? And put her on his noble steed, which had a long, white mane, soft white fur (?), and big, strong feet. The steed had the look of one who has faced many battles, yet his body remained unscratched, making it one of the most beautiful stallions Roxaria has ever seen. Soon after, Sir Soradius mounted the steed himself, and ushered it to run.

Roxas was stunned. It's speed… it was unsurpassed. So, to prevent from falling off, Roxas had to cling onto Sir Soradius, placing his hands on Sir Soradius' armor (A/N I'm not sure if this is supposed to be yaoi-ish… I mean, Roxas is a girl in this dream, but he's still a guy in real life. Think of this as a… brotherly love thing…?) He heard the soft pitter-patters of hooves, becoming clearer and clearer. Roxaria turned around, and he saw a man in coal-black armor, embedded with a red and black heart, with two red lines intersecting in the middle. The steed he rode on had a black body, with eyes as red as blood, yet runs as fast as lightning.

The Dark Knight

Then, to all of us who has experienced medieval times movies, we can all imagine how this looks like. The car-less grand chase, hero and –holds laughter- heroin on the white, noble steed, the bad dude chasing after them looking all evil, Et Cetera.

Eventually, despite all the cliché-ness, it all ends when Soradius' stallion trips on something, and falls, sending it's two riders flying.

"Ow…"

"Lady Roxaria! Are you alright?" Soradius asked, worried. Roxaria, who was rubbing her/his head, nodded meekly as to sign he-r approval. Soradius heaved a sigh of relief, and smiled.

The Dark Knight dismounted from his steed, and laughed heartily.

"You can't run away from me, Lady Roxaria… it is akin to running away from fate itself,"

"I will not let you have your way, Dark Knight!" Soradius cried, and drew his blade, also a masterpiece. It was big, with nature-based carvings gracing it's blades. The Dark Knight smirked, and drew his, a black katana. The both of them took their stances, Soradius taking the more offensive stance while the Dark Knight just stood there, sword in hand.

After a second of total and complete silence, the two suddenly charged for each other, blades outstretched. The two swords connected, as a sound of metal meeting metal hit the air. The both of them drew back, and Soradius charged first. Yet the Dark Knight only needed one hand to block Soradius' attack, despite his speed, force and the weight of his sword. The Dark Knight smirked again, and pushed Soradius. But Soradius was quick, and jumped back, failing the Dark Knights attempt of a counter attack.

However, right before Soradius could even regain his balance, the Dark Knight lunged out, and again, with only one hand, he was able to throw Soradius a hard blow. Soradius managed to block this attack, although barely, and managed to neutralize the situation by aiming a kick to the Dark Knight's side. He missed, but this action did its purpose.

Roxaria, on the other hand, watched helplessly, because s-he knew, that princesses weren't supposed to fight in battles, especially pink-dress wearing ones. S-He just stared at the two as their swords clinked and clanged. Actually, s-he was quite astounded by the both of their dexterity and skill.

Now, the two of them were serious, aiming for each other's non-armored parts. Soradius threw a blow for the head, but missed, as he only threw off the Dark Knight's headgear.

"Hn, good one. I almost fell for that," the Dark Knight commented.

"That is only a small fraction of what I can actually do,"

"Show me then,"

Although the two seemed quite unmoved, Roxaria was. The Dark Knight… he was… he looked just like how Roxas looked like in the real world! Perfectly flawless. Roxaria stood there, gasping in shock as the two knights fought the battle of their lives.

And yes, all of us who has heard of these stories know, that the Dark Knight/Roxas in black armor will eventually fall. When that happens, Soradius was panting heavily, gasping for dear air. Roxaria leaped for he-r hero, both of them embraced each other, making the perfect, fairy tale ending.

Roxas' eyes fluttered open, and it was only then did he notice that the events in that fairy-tale world were just a dream.

Except for one thing…

The fact that he was hugging Sora (They sleep in the same bed, remember?)

Roxas cried out and panicked, as he tried removing himself from Sora's embrace. However, the panic was making this hard, as the only thing Roxas was really doing was tangling them more, making them look like they were doing something very, very-

Let's just skip that…

Anywho, after a while, Roxas finally managed to push Sora off him. Smiling in relief, he didn't notice himself at the far end of the bed, and only did so when he fell off it. Grumbling, Roxas put a hand on the bed, and pulled himself up. Now, Roxas was mad.

The fury didn't last long, though. It ended, right when he saw Sora's happy, smiling face, as drool came out of his mouth.

Overall, Sora was… happy…

"I feel sick…" Roxas mumbled, and went for the bathroom, where he stayed unmoving for the rest of the night.

Radiant Garden School Halls, 10.00 a.m.

Sora stood by his locker, meekly mourning the end of Summer Vacation. That wasn't the only reason he was in a bad mood, though. Today was the day, when Roxas comes into the exact same school as he, and into 24/7 of his once carefree life.

Kairi, very much aware of Sora's once in a lifetime moodiness, was worried.

"Sora, are you okay?" she inquired.

"Besides the summer vacation coming to an end and Roxas coming into my miserable schooling life, I'm great, Kai… really great!"

"Aww… does somebody need a hug…?" Kairi said, smiling viciously.

"I'm a... uh… fine… thanks anyways…"

"Haha, I'm just messing with you, Sora. Gee, you're so gullible," Kairi declared, smiling at Sora. Sora could only smile back, as he placed his last book into the locker.

Suddenly, Roxas passed the two of them, shooting a personalized glare at Sora. Sora pouted, and turned back toward his locker, slamming it shut in Kairi's face.

"I'm assuming that's the infamous Roxas?" Kairi asked. Sora nodded, and sighed.

"Hmm… kind of cute. Wonder how he's like around the ladies?" Kairi mumbled to herself, stroking her chin in wonder. Sora's eyes widened.

"Kairi, you're not thinking-…"

"Yo, homies!"

Sora and Kairi turned toward the voice, and saw a boy, dressed in a yellow jacket decorated with dark blue lines. He had slipped on a pair of very baggy cargos (Comes with chains), and topped of the look with a pair of shades, a blue and red cap, and an enormous 'B' chain, painted gold, and hung around his neck. He reached the two astounded friends, and turned his cap around, revealing more of his short, blonde hair.

"What's cookin?"

Both Sora and Kairi gazed at the boy, stunned.

"Riku…?"

"Shh!" The boy hushed, and lowered his voice. "The fangirls might hear,"

"Dude, what happened to you?" Sora exclaimed. "Why is your hair short? Why is it blonde? Why are you dressed like that?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm hiding from the fangirls. And my hair ain't short; I just hid it in my cap. Pretty neat, eh?"

Sora and Kairi continued to stare at Riku.

"Why do you have the letter 'B' hung around your neck?" Kairi asked. Riku just shrugged.

"Hey, at least it isn't an 'R',"

"Good point,"

The three of them nodded.

"So, do me a favor and keep this piece of information hush-hush?"

Just at that exact moment, Riku's senior friend, Mickey saw the supposedly albino haired boy.

"Hey, Riku!"

"Crap," Riku cursed.

Soon after, Riku was never seen again, swallowed by his endless sea of fangirls…

Sora and Kairi shot a glare at Mickey.

"…What? Did I do something?"

Roxas entered the modern looking school the second time in his life, once again not looking forward to anything. As someone who grew up in the wilderness, Roxas has adapted to not get too excited over something, despite how new it was to him. And schooling in a normal school is definitely something new to him. The nice-looking teacher showed him the way toward the Principal's office, also passing Sora in the process. He seemed to be talking with a quite pretty redhead to notice him, so Roxas shot a glare, to make himself known. He laughed heartily on the inside when Sora seemed pissed with that action.

Roxas stood in front of the door, with 'Mr. Ansem' written in big, bold letters. The nice looking teacher had left him alone there, to collect his thoughts and to embrace himself for the unknown.

Roxas took in a deep breath of hesitation, let it out, and knocked on the door, ever so slightly. He was greeted by a deep voice, admitting entrance. Roxas opened the door, and saw not an office, but a mini library. The walls were covered so that even one bit of the red and gold wallpaper was left unseen. Instead, it was all books, books, and more books. It was a book heaven!

Right in the middle of it all, was a desk. A very messy desk I might add. There were books even there! And behind the desk, was a man. He had dark skin, and long sliver hair; slicked back with the finest of hair gels… or so assumes Roxas. He bore a tag, which wrote 'Radiant Garden Principal' on his shirt, and similar writings on a table-sign, placed onto the table, and made with the finest of gold and silver.

Despite his uneasiness, Roxas entered anyways, and allowed himself to sit on the cashmere lidded chair.

"So, you are the infamous Roxas Revene?" The principal asked, with a strange combination of calmness and smug in his voice. Roxas just nodded, as he figured that doing anything beyond that would somehow trigger something very fragile.

"I see… not a very bright looking boy, aren't you, Mr. Revene?"

"Excuse me…?"

"Yes, of course you aren't! Even by looking at you, I know, you are one of the most ghastly children I'll ever know,"

Roxas arched an eyebrow.

"Err… sir, may I know why do you think of me like so?"

"Why do I think so?" the headmaster screamed in a voice that says 'Ridiculous!'. He slammed the table, which shook everything and startled poor Roxas.

"Just look at how you're dressed! It's ridiculous! Everyone knows black and white don't go together! And your hair… those strange curves! They just scream problem student!" He screamed yet again, tugging and pulling on Roxas' corresponding clothes or body part. Roxas glared at this so-called principal,

"Sir, may I remind you that judging someone by appearance will only bring you anguish…" Especially with that preposterous hairdo

"Hah! Anguish! Trying to use bombastic words on me so that you can look smart, eh kiddo? I've seen through that technique, and I'm not falling for it! Besides, you came late today, so doesn't that mean something?"

"What? Is there a problem with the way I talk?" Roxas asked. And I'm late for a very good reason! But I'm not saying Talking about his clothes was already annoying, And now he's insulting the way I talk! "Besides, anguish is not a bombastic word, sicko," He said again, still attempting to keep his cool.

"Oh, still trying to look smart kid?" the man stood from his chair, and eyed Roxas. He pulled Roxas' collar, took out Roxas' charm, and screamed in his face

"Look at this stupid necklace you're wearing boy! It only strengthens the fact that you are definitely a problem student! You're preposterous! You should just rot in-…"

"Xehanort, are you doing my job again?"

The silver haired principal looked up from Roxas, and into the stern face of a man with a short, well kept beard and a black and red work uniform.

"I err… (cough) no, I'm just err… welcoming! Yes, welcoming the poor student in you're absence, (cough) Mr. Ansem sir," the silver haired man stuttered, coughing and putting his hand over his mouth so that the real Mr. Ansem doesn't see him remove his 'Principal' tag and place it on the table. Immediately, he collected his things and rushed out of the table, stopping to pat Roxas on the shoulder.

"Be a fine boy, son. Make the school proud," he said, before rushing out.

Roxas again arched his eyebrow in total, and complete bewilderedness.

The light blonde-haired man who came in earlier only shook his head, before oh-so-elegantly walking toward the chair, and sat on it. His face suddenly scrunched up, and he twitched slightly, before reaching on the chair's seat, and removed a red, cylinder-like pillow. He grumbled something, which sounded suspiciously like "Damn you, Xehanort," and turned to face Roxas in a professional manner, while Roxas, stared at him, dumbfounded.

"What was that…?" Roxas stuttered.

"What was w-… oh, you meant the man just now?"

Roxas nodded, still shocked looking.

"Oh, that's Mr. Xehanort, the Vice Principal. No, don't look at me like that, boy. Don't worry, he's quite harmless,"

"Right…"

Mr. Ansem cleared his throat. "Going back to the issue at hand, so, you are the new student, Mr. Roxas Revene?"

"Yeah,"

Mr. Ansem nodded. "Ah, son of the infamous Dr. Robert Revene, I presume?"

"Yes, sir,"

"So, have you met you're brother?"

"My brother…?"

Mr. Ansem looked shocked. "You're brother! Sora! Don't tell me Sarah didn't introduce the both of you?"

"Sir… how… did you know about Sora…?"

Mr. Ansem looked smug, and he lifted himself from the chair, and walked elegantly toward the coffee table. "You could say I'm an old acquaintance of your father's," He poured some coffee into a cup, "A very marvelous scientist, and a wonderful man. You're father was a great person, my boy," he poured the black liquid into another cup. "Coffee, Roxas?"

Roxas waved his hand, indicating refusal. "But sir, I don't recall ever meeting you before?" The principal laughed,

"Oh, yes we have. You just don't remember it,"

…………………………………………………….

Roxas sighed when he was finally able to remove himself from the creepy principal's room.

"I am not going in there ever again!" Roxas vowed aloud, although he couldn't deny the strange feeling of calmness when he was around the real principal. Hmm… it was probably the feng shui or something…

Right before he descended down the stairs, he saw something that suddenly made his heart stop.

It's her! The girl from the park!

She suddenly looked up to him, smiled and waved at him. That smile… Roxas' heart almost stopped again. He came back to his senses and waved weakly, still quite dumbstruck.

The girl giggled as she passed him, and into the principal's office. When the girl was out of sight, Roxas slapped himself three times, and gave himself a knock on his head.

"Put yourself together, idiot!"

That's all folks! Sorry it was short… I was short on ideas, and I'm in a bad mood. I just kinda got pissed, typed this all out within two hours, and decided to post it… yeah, pretty weird. So, to lengthen the chapter, here are some extras! (I'm trying to cheer myself up here…)

……………………………

Kingdom Hearts II Parody: Sora's Abilities Part I

Sora barges into Merlin's House in Radiant Garden, screaming

"Hey guys! I got level 7 for Master Form! Now I can do Aerial Dodge!"

Everyone there, (Leon, Yuffie, Cid, Donald, Goofy and Aerith) looked up from whatever the heck they were doing, and stared at Sora as if he was the most insane people in the whole wide world-… I mean all worlds. Except for Aerith and Yuffie at least.

"Cool! Can you do it now?" Yuffie asked excited.

"Yes, I would want to see it," Aerith really didn't care, but heck, she was just a nice person… so screw you.

"Sure!" Sora said, and jumped. Oh, wow… jumping… the biggest and bestest ability of all time… but then he jumped again, and spun, making him jump higher.

"Awesome!" Yuffie yelled, astounded. Cid looked up once more from what he was doing, and so did Leon. Wow… Leon looked up… it must be really astounding…

However, since Sora couldn't control how high he went, he jumped too high, and with the tallest peak of his extremely muscular and spiky hair, drilled a hole through the ceiling.

At that exact moment, Merlin decided to make his appearance.

"Good god, child! What are you doing?"

And with that, he poofed Sora back into the room, lecturing him about the thrifts and virtues of not drilling holes in people's houses. Leon and Cid turned back to what they were doing, shaking their head. Aerith gasped with a hand over her mouth, while Yuffie looked excited.

"Cool! Teach me how you do that!"

-The End…

…………………………………

Riku, still swallowed in his endless sea of fangirls, was suffocating. He had to do something quick, or he was fishcake!

The girls had stripped off Riku till his waist, and were attempting to tear off his pants. Riku cursed his decision to wear baggy cargos, as his mind raced for a solution… his eyes darted around, and there he saw them,

His shades and cap

Riku swam through his endless sea of fangirls, and grabbed the items. He put them on,

"Yo, girls! Make room for the shirtless guy in shades and a cap!" Riku called out, successfully making room for himself. He then escaped the sea of fangirls, and ran toward his class.

The girls, however, were in mass panic.

"Where is our beloved Riku?" they asked in perfect, flawless harmony.

Therefore, mass panic ensued inside the school of Radiant Garden…

-The End

…………………………………

(This happened right before the twins went to school)

"Roxas! I want to use the bathroom now! Can't you get out yet?" Sora screamed, banging on the bathroom door.

"Go away, you gay pedophile! Leave me be…" Roxas answered from within with a weak voice.

"WTF? What's with the gay crap?"

-From inside the toilet

Roxas was bent over a sink, and was gurgling his fifth bottle of mouthwash. Only now did the toilet bowl gain rest from Roxas' lunch since the dawn of time, yet somehow, Roxas had escaped from looking anorexic.

"Now I'm scared for life…" Roxas mumbled, and gurgled another bottle cap full of the minty green liquid

-The End

Okay, now with that, I am done… wish me luck with the next chapter! Oh, and please stroll over to the small blue box and REVIEW! Thank you for your time!