(A/N: Because best friends gotta approve yo boyfraaans first)
"What the hell are you doing here," I hissed, plopping my stack of papers on Hiei's desk. He glared at me, threatening to topple it over with his ruler.
"I just wanted to come by and say hi, I even got you a pumpkin spice latte! It's seasonal, and people go crazy over this stuff," Kuronue handed me a steaming hot coffee cup, completed with a sleeve that had pumpkins and vines that cleverly spelled 'it's like autumn in a cup'.
Ever since that incident last Saturday, Kuronue has been visiting my office every morning before he went to work. I have no idea why the hell the front desk let him in, but I promised to remind myself to write a very strongly worded letter to Jin about the importance of my job and how I was not to be disturbed in the mornings.
He placed a venti vanilla mocha latte, extra whip with caramel drizzle on Hiei's desk, which the short brat gratefully drank. Hiei wasn't an affable person to be around, but Kuronue's free drinks shut him up for the meantime, so he would never mind when Kuronue would stop by. Still, I never pictured Hiei to drink something so loaded with sugar. I expected him to take coffee black. Just like his soul.
"Oh come on Kurama, can't I ever get a hi, or a thank you?"
"You can get lost," I offered as I pushed the cup of diabetes back into his chest.
"I'll tell you what, I'll leave once you take a sip," he challenged.
I narrowed my eyes and grabbed the steaming cup, smelling the over abundance of cinnamon, pumpkin, and nutmeg hit my nose. I already knew I was going to like it, I don't know if Kuronue harbored a hidden 6th sense but it's like he knew my taste buds and what I wanted. I loved the last two drinks he made me sample and I knew after the first sip of this one that I would like it as well.
Holy shit, it was autumn in a cup.
"Do you like it?" he leaned forward, watching for my reaction closely.
"It's all right." I could practically feel his giddiness, and truthfully, it was kind of adorable. "But, you have to stop buying me coffee. I don't want you spending your pocket money on my every day. It's unreasonable."
"But I want to!" If I had time to learn anything about Kuronue, it was that he was stubborn and he wasn't going to stop until he was satisfied with whatever he's trying to accomplish. "Oh shit! My shift is about to start, I have to leave but I'll see you later?" there was a buoyant tone to his voice that I didn't have the heart to break, so I simply waved him off, not really giving him much of an answer.
"I don't know how much more I can take," I groaned into my table, head desking with the grace of a mentally challenged horse.
"I like him," Hiei quipped in with his trademark air of nonchalance. The twerp took a long sip of his coffee, just to spite me even further.
It was unbearably hot, strange considering that fall was just about to come by. But summer had other plans as it decided to roll in it's last and final days of heat, and by lunchtime everyone in the business district had their ties loose and jackets discarded.
I received a text from Kuronue to meet him at the front of Enma Publishing. How he knew my lunch period was a mystery to me, but before I walked outside I remembered to "accidentally" throw one of the company pens at Jin, earning me a cold and icy stare from Touya.
"Hey Kurama, I thought I'd bring you some lunch" Kuronue ran up to me, god awful uniform in tow.
"I told you not to buy me lunch and how the hell do you have the same lunch hour as me?" I frowned.
"Switched with Kuwabara for the day. And I didn't buy you lunch, this came from Margeaux. I hope you like panini's, I don't really know what types you liked so I just grabbed a bunch of the extras."
I pursed my lips. I loved panini's.
We sat on one of the benches in the front of the building, luckily finding a seat under a tree.
"Aren't you going to take that dress shirt off? Or unbutton it or something? Your outfit is making me feel hot," even under the shade, the weather was still sweltering and humid. My tie has long since been loosened and I managed to roll up my sleeves past my elbows. I expected some witty remark on his part, something about being hot, but a wave of unease swept his features and I almost wanted to retract that statement.
"I can handle heat pretty well, that's all," I dropped the subject immediately. It was the same feeling I had in my gut when I wanted to bring Hiei's sister up, but I knew I shouldn't.
"Even if you didn't pay for it, don't go changing your lunch schedule for me. I told you at least five times that you don't owe me anything."
"And I told youthat I want to do it. It makes me happy," he crossed his legs on the bench we were sitting at as he opened the pink box and handed me a panini.
I snorted, "You're acting like I want to see you happy."
"You know, your random spouts of indignation only make you even more adorable."
My face flushed, fortunately it was hot enough that my skin was probably already a pinkish shade. I always wondered what would happen if I flirted back, if I showed some indication of my interest. Ever since that night at the Pink Flamingo, it's like we've been taking steps back in our relationship. I was suddenly confused on whether I was allowed to flirt back or not.
"It's weird, it's like the more I learn about you the less I know," his brows were drawn together in frustration.
"Don't beat yourself up kid, a lot of people don't know me. Plus once you get to know me, I'm not all that interesting," I aimed the crumpled panini wrapper into the nearest trashcan, grinning as it went in. Hiei would so lose his shit over this. Probably not.
"Are too," Kuronue said childishly, sticking his tongue out to complete his look. "You must be either blind or stupid if you don't consider yourself interesting, specially with your previous line of work." I leaned against him and bumped him on the shoulder, warning him to keep his trap shut. He bumped me back, until we were pressed together, shoulder to shoulder. My body jolted at the contact and I wanted to hit myself for acting this way. He cautiously leaned against me, until his head was on my shoulder. He stayed there for a while, unmoving, waiting to see if I would push him off, but I only sat up straighter as I felt his hair bristle lightly on my neck. He smelled of freshly baked dough and confectionery sugar; he smelled as welcoming as the atmosphere he worked in.
I closed my eyes and turned my head towards him, inclined to kiss the top of his head.
"Kurama?" a voice called out. My eyes snapped open as I quickly pulled away from Kuronue.
"Yomi, what are you doing out here?" I stood up, leaving a very confused Kuronue sitting alone.
"I um.." his voice trailed off as he scratched the back of his neck. "I was actually going to meet my wife for lunch," he replied, followed by a mirthless laugh.
"Oh." I didn't know how to respond. I never knew how to respond around Yomi. He dictated what I said, what I did, how I could think.
"Is something the matter?" Out of nowhere, Kuronue wrapped one hand around my shoulder and kissed my temple. I looked at him with confusion and looked back at Yomi. His once indifferent face held a glower, as I saw Kuronue shoot him back the same expression.
"And who might this be?" Yomi's words seemed tense, as if it was a struggle for him to stay civil.
"Um, this is Kuronue he's—"
"A really good friend," Kuronue finished my sentence, wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling me behind my neck for good measure.
Yomi cleared his throat at the sight as Kuronue kept the same intense gaze, never faltering. "Well, I suppose I should leave. It was nice meeting you Kuronue," he nodded once in acknowledgment.
"Likewise," Kuronue replied tensely, not taking his arms off my waist. The moment Yomi walked away far enough not to hear, I spun my heel and pulled myself away from Kuronue. I was positively mortified.
"What the hell did you just do?" my tone was nothing but seething and he stepped a considerable distance from me.
"It's not like you tried to stop me. Plus, I had to!" His tone was defensive, causing me to get irritated even further.
"I didn't know that you dictated my life. I didn't need you to step in I was perfectly fine where I was—"
"Kurama did you even know how you looked like standing in front of him?," Kuronue exhaled sharply, trying to keep calm. "You slept with this man for over a fucking year, find out only a few weeks ago that he has a wife and a kid, and then acts like nothing happens. Then he proceeds to talk about his said wife in front of you and you expect me to just stand there while you look like.."
"What did I look like Kuronue. Come on, speak up," I knew I was being unreasonable, but he crossed that imaginary line that I decided to create around five seconds ago.
"You didn't look like you," he breathed out, looking defeated.
"Coming from the person who admitted they barely knew anything about me," I crossed my arms and lowered my head, glaring at him as if he could somehow feel it.
"Look Kurama, I didn't do all that to look cool or cause I thought it was a good time to hit on you. I did it because you looked hurt beyond belief and I couldn't see you just stand there and do nothing. It's funny how you accuse me of dictating your life when Yomi is obviously doing that without much effort." He looked tired of the conversation, like he wanted nothing more than to simply drop it. But being the horrible and proud person that I am, I refused to drop it.
I let out a sarcastic laugh, keeping my glare. "You think you know me?" I cocked my head to the side, challenging him to try and stop me. "Has it occurred to you that maybe everything you know about me is completely fabricated? Grow up and realize that my life isn't some fucking soap opera that you can squeeze yourself into. Yomi isn't the villian, and I am not some fucking princess that needs to be saved," I inched my way towards him until my finger hit his chest. "Stop buying me coffee, stop bringing me food, and stop taking me out. You don't know anything about me, you have no idea how I think or what I'm capable of so stop acting like you do," his face was absolutely unreadable as he waited to see if I would continue.
"I would rather have you yell at me than speak to him," he replied calmly. Just when I thought I broke his ego, he decides to prove me wrong yet again.
"Kuronue.. Just go. Don't call and don't come around here any more. I'm not broken and I don't need fixing, so go take your savior complex somewhere else," the words had trouble leaving my mouth, and I felt ashamed for not even looking at him. He didn't say anything and he didn't move, and I entered the Enma publishing building just like how I entered my apartment that morning: wondering if I was ever going to see him again.
Dragging myself out of bed has proved to be a difficult task that was too great for my skill level. Whether it be because of my sudden dependence of coffee, or the plausible fact that maybe maybe I missed the way Kuronue pestered me, my day started off bland. I felt stupid and ashamed, mainly because everything he said was, again, spot on. I don't know if he really is just a good observer or if I'm that obvious, but what he said about the way I act around Yomi is spot on. I tend to forget who I am around him.
Even if Kuronue didn't know me that well, the point was that he wanted to. Although he tended to smother me way too much with his attention, the fact that he really tried to get to know me was incredibly (to the point of stupid) sweet. I forgot how good it felt for someone to truly care about you without expecting everything from you. I guess that's why I never bothered making friends, it's just like relationships without receiving anything out of it.
A wave of guilt washed over me as I realized that this may be the only person who has had a good taste of my past self and still chose to hang around me. Kuronue looked terrified when I beat those two bastards into a bloody pulp. He was terrified, yet he chose not to judge me, believing every word I said without hesitation. There weren't many people like him and the more I tried to make myself believe that he was like the rest, the more I noticed how different he was.
I wanted to erase that moment, I wanted to go back and apologize (or at least make less of a deal about it) and I wanted him to continue pestering me. I actually kind of missed the coffee and the desserts he would dump over my place. I missed the random text messages and the stupid pictures of plants he would send me, asking me to identify them for him. I missed his flirting. I missed rejecting his flirting. I missed him and I was scared to admit it.
By the time Friday rolled in, even Hiei seemed to have picked up on my attitude.
"Are you finally going to stop moping," he asked, making a face as he sipped on the generic office coffee filled mostly to the brim with french vanilla creamer. I didn't really see a change in my attitude, but Hiei was always one to pick up on tiny details. Maybe it was because it's been a while since I've annoyed him.
"I'm not moping about anything," I buried my head into my pile of papers, trying to ignore Hiei. Funny. It's usually the other way around.
Hiei threw the empty styrofoam cup as it bounced on my head into the trash bin. Bastard. That was a lucky throw.
"Just get your boyfriend back already. I miss having good coffee."
I groaned and covered my face with my hands.
Fuck.
How does one send out a proper apology anyways? This is why I never bothered trying to establish any type of human connection, it was too much effort and even more emotionally draining. I thought about buying a pizza and rearranging the pepperoni pieces to spell "im sorry" but scratched that idea when I came to the conclusion that I was a fully grown adult male, and this was not the Princess Diaries. My life needed to be less like a teenage movie and more like something directed by Michael Gondry. Now that would be pretty fucking rad.
I settled for some caramel covered in white chocolate and pumpkin spice candy type thing they were selling at Peet's Coffee and instantly regretted my purchase right after I realized that he works at a fucking pastry shop filled with endless amounts of chocolate. Whatever, he was getting fucking mediocre chocolate whether he liked it or not.
Tonight was a Saturday, he was at Margeaux on Saturdays if I last remembered. I could have easily called or texted, but being the coward that I am, I waited until last minute in front of Margeaux, telling myself I would leave if no one answered the door. But by the time I got there, I could just make out the faint illumination of the hallway light. With a heavy breath, I knocked on the door, feeling a lot more nervous than I have been in a while. There were many nervous moments in my life, typically when it came to thieving. There were the jitters I would feel when Yomi would touch me, always putting me on the edge of anticipation. Yet, the nervousness when it came to swallowing my pride was something I was completely new to.
Another knock. Nothing.
Another knock. Nada.
Maybe I was wrong and they just left the light on or something. I was basically hitting on the door like a woodpecker, even the heart shaped wind chime behind the glass door began to shake, and just when I was about to give up, a tall shadowy figure angrily strode up to the glass door.
"Oi! Can't you read the sign?" Kuronue held the door open, pointing at the closed sign written in fancy gold letters.
"Um. Hey," I gave him a sheepish wave. His face went from annoyed to surprised in a matter of seconds as he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.
"Hey," Kuronue had his arms crossed. He looked calm enough so that was a good sign.
Without a warning, I tossed him the chocolate which he kind of just stared at as it hit him in the chest and fell pathetically to the ground. Why did I always expect everything in my life to go so smoothly. Grunting, I picked it up and handed it to him properly. "I want to apologize, and I got you chocolate," my voice came out strained, and it wasn't because I wasn't sincere, I was just really awkward when it came to basic human contact.
"No, I'm sorry, what I did was out of line and—"
"Just shut up and accept my damn apology," I was blushing at this point because of how he reacted. I was blushing because I knew everything was going to be okay. Every time I replayed this scenario in my head, it ended up with him getting pissed while we yelled at each other, it didn't end up with him saying sorry. He was a patient soul while I got irritated over the most trivial things, I felt strangely ashamed of this fact.
Kuronue covered his hand over his mouth, failing to stifle a laugh. "I know I said this at least a dozen times but you're too cute" he turned away from me as he tried to regain his composure. "God Kurama, I was everything but mad! I was worried I'd probably never see you again," he laughed, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"So, does that mean we're okay?" I felt stupid for even asking the question. Of course we were okay, because Kuronue was Kuronue and he wasn't like most people.
"What do you think?" He tried to look at me seriously, but his mouth broke into a huge grin and it was so sincere and pure and everything I wasn't used to, and I almost melted. Because people weren't supposed to be this nice, they were supposed to be cruel and deceptive, backstabbing their way to the top, then Kuronue was born, his sole purpose: to fuck up the image I had on humanity and prove me wrong on just about fucking everything.
"My birthday is on December 29, I have a weird affinity for foxes, and when I was younger, I had an addictive obsession with this retro game called Goblin City," I blurted.
"Wait what," all amusement fell on his face as he tilted his head to the side.
"You wanted to know stuff about me, so I'm telling you," I bowed my shoulders, realizing this was harder than I thought. Expressing anger was always easier than expressing gratitude, and right now my struggle was showing. "I'm telling you useless things about me because I want you to know. So I guess this could be a part two to your apology present along with the stupid chocolate, " I cleared my throat, waiting for him to respond.
He smiled and bit his lips, pulling me into a hug. "Thanks," he whispered into my shoulder. The last of the summer heat hasn't quite worn off and the nights were still as arid as ever, Kuronue, being the idiot that he was, continued to wear a long sleeve in this weather, and although I was beginning to get sweaty and uncomfortable, I allowed him to continue to hug me until he was satisfied.
"Then I assume we're friends again?" I asked a bit more tentatively. He pulled away, his arms still on my shoulders. The sun has already set but twilight was just beginning. The sky was an amazing shade of pinkish orange and I would have marveled at the beauty if I wasn't so distracted by Kuronue. His dark eyes gleamed and he he wore that same expression when we stared at the sunrise on the hood of his car.
"Friends" he repeated, looking somewhat disappointed.
"Yea.. friends," I swallowed thickly, not really understanding what I was doing myself. He had a few inches on me, so I tip toed and placed my lips on his. It was light, questioning, almost fleeting in nature. Kuronue reached up and buried his hands in my hair as he pulled me in closer, and kissed me.
This kiss was different from the Pink Flamingo, it wasn't rushed and frenzied, it wasn't even slow and caring. It was a kiss that left a heavy feeling in my stomach, a crawling sensation on my skin, it left something stirring in my gut that felt a lot like hope. I kissed him back, hot and opened mouth, far from a make out session but so much more than must a simple gesture.
By the time we pulled away, my head felt dizzy and my throat felt dry from the heat. I stood my ground, rooted to the spot, unable to do anything but stare at him blankly. Because that kiss broke whatever friendship we had, only to open a whole new floodgate of things that I might not be prepared for yet.
And for the first time in a very, very, very long time.
I felt scared.
(A/N: Thank you guys so much for the positive reviews. No seriously. They're like... making me all giddy and stuff. I really enjoy writing this story and I'm so glad all of you are experiencing it along with me)
4fireking: Fire Away! But don't PM be cause I have stupidly forgotten my password :(