Alright, here it is! I know I couldn't get this chapter out before Christmas but I felt as though I needed that time to be with family and friends rather than staring at a screen and cranking out an entire chapter.
I really love this chapter, it's definitely an important one. MerDer's reunion I suppose you could consider is coming soon so just sit tight for me.
I've proofread this best as possible but if there are any minor errors I'm incredibly sorry! I don't have a beta or anything for this story as of right now.
Also I wanted to give thanks to all who've reviewed. Especially the ones who give me their honest opinions each chapter, you're fantastic. I'd love to reply to you all but the majority are simply guest reviews which doesn't allow me that privilege. Either way, I'm incredibly thankful for your thoughts and opinions on this.
I'd love some feedback on this as well and without further ado here's the chapter, enjoy!
The greenery is a substantial change from the sky scrapers and air pollution she's accustomed herself to for the last thirteen years. Her eyes focus in on all of the large trees and nature settled adjacent from her. Truly, she can't remember the last time her irises were captivated by so much of the outdoors. Settling down in a Manhattan apartment typically didn't coincide with a backyard brimmed with wildlife.
The place she's residing as of currently is Derek a substantial change from before. For a while, she toyed with the notion of whether she should leap or crawl back. Yes, this move is about beginning a new life. Starting fresh so to speak.
Primarily the idea of purchasing all of this just felt as if she were taking a million steps in the wrong direction. She battled with this for over a month when it became clear moving across the country was what her future held. The notion of moving into another apartment wasn't the imagery she painted in her mind. Her past life had resided in multiple apartments and condos. It wasn't what she wanted. A house felt ludicrous as she had no one to share it with. That thought somewhat contradicted with the end result, although her actual living space was fit for she only.
An airstream trailer. Planted smack dab in the midst of forty acres of land. Yes, it seemed a little redundant considering she was trying her best to sway her thoughts from Derek away and pursue something fresh, new, different. This piece of land resembled the one she shared with Derek in so many ways. Although, who said she had to let go of him completely? That man was a huge chunk of her childhood and teenage years. He'd been the love of her life.
As well as the tall trees and green grass gave her a home like feeling. It made her feel comfortable even in a new environment. So Meredith had leaped. She broke out the checkbook and purchased all this land on the outskirts of Seattle for herself. She's entirely unsure of what she'll do with it. At the moment it's just a lot of nature with an eyesore of a trailer plotted at the apex. She assumes once her career begins to skyrocket she'll bring out the contractors and maybe build a real house.
For now she's comfortable in her petite trailer, enjoying what Mother Nature has provided.
The inner corner of her lip twitches upward at the sight of sunlight as she steps out onto the wooden deck. She's aware Seattle is known for its more frequent rain showers, it seemed as the sunshine was definitely a sign she'd made the right decision. A faded navy coffee mug encapsulated her palms. It's brimmed to the rim with caffeine, loaded down with sugar and milk. She's always been an unhealthy person, even when it came to her morning beverage. She remembers all the warnings from Derek that her cholesterol must be through the roof. Of course she normally brushed off those comments with an eye roll or the shake of her head.
The soles of her tan Ugg bedroom shoes scuff against the smooth plain of her deck. She lowers herself down to the first step. The back side of her black yoga pants meet a dewy surface but it's a distant thought. She's due to shower and change soon anyways. The faint chant of birds swirled with light bravados from other animals permeate her eardrums. Her hair is matted and a complete disaster. Albeit it's usually that way every morning. Meredith would take this over the bustling city of Manhattan any day. Her life was in dire need of some of this.
The quiet, serenity, open space.
Of course she still holds her doubts. This move isn't just about finding a new start with a new home. It was mostly about the job she'd been offered. It was rare any spot opens up when it comes to residency programs. Normally even so when people drop out, their slots aren't specifically refilled. She knows this better than anyone. Her mother Ellis Grey practically revolved her entire life around the hospital which equated to Meredith spending a tumultuous amount of time there herself. She certainly picked up a few things from her adolescent years.
It definitely surprised her to have gotten a call that there was an opening for residents at Seattle Grace Hospital down in Seattle. She enjoyed her time at Mount Sinai nonetheless. It's not that she had a bad experience with her internship there it's more so that she took the job offer as a sign. The universes twisted way of telling her a change was going to come. Meredith was exhausted living in limbo for so long. For years she's been alone just trying to make it through day in and day out. Seattle is the new beginning for her.
Yet that doesn't mean she won't fail when it comes to taking Seattle Grace up on its offer. It could spiral out of control and she end up even more broken than she'd been before traveling down to Seattle. She doesn't want this go horribly for her. Meredith aches for this to be the jump start she needs.
A sigh escapes from between her lips before the lip of her mug meets her cavern.
If there's one thing Meredith Grey can be thankful for in this moment, it has to be the substantial decrease in traffic. Living in New York City promised insane amounts of bumper to bumper traffic no matter what time of day it was. Of course, traffic hasn't been completely diminished in Seattle. She'd take strolling along in a slow moving line any day over staying at a complete halt.
Not to mention she's yearned to drive for what felt like ages now. When it came to Manhattan, most everyone hopped on subways or took taxis to get to their destination. She didn't own a car back in New York as it just felt useless for those sole reasons. Driving had been a serenity for her prior to leaving the comfort of Boston. She could be independent. Go at her own will. Of course, at first, it felt delightful not to ponder over the action. Oddly enough, the task gave her consistent reminders of Derek and when she'd first packed up her life to start fresh in New York, he wasn't what she desired to think about.
Her emerald optics seek out the gleaming red traffic light, indicating she's to halt and stay put until it shows her otherwise. Her vertebrae relaxes into the worn leather of car seat. Fingers stroking the loose threading on the steering wheel. Nails clacking against the logo labeled Jeep.
Meredith purchased the 1998 model when first arriving to the rainy city. There'd been plenty of other vehicles to choose from at the dealership. Even the car salesmen who'd helped her out insisted her credit was good enough to purchase something a little more luxurious. Albeit, Meredith was drawn toward the lavender SUV tucked away near the back of the lot. It reminded her very much of the one she had as a teenager. Not to mention it was coated in her favorite hue. Lavender.
"Would you stop barking at me?" Meredith snarled, her neck twisting just enough so that her eyes were greeted with the sight of Derek's profile. His orbs remained glued to road in front of them, not moving a single inch. She expected it from him. He'd been in this particular mood for the last two weeks. She knew better than anyone Derek relished to brood during unnecessary circumstances. He reminded her of a child in that sense. One that pouted after not receiving their way. Typical.
Both of her hands were curled tight around the steering wheel of the Jeep she'd gotten as a birthday gift. It shocked her slightly when her mother surprised her with the car considering Ellis Grey was barely ever attentive to Meredith with gifts or surprises. She assumed the only reason her absent mother even took the time to buy the damned vehicle was just so that she could learn to drive and get out of her mothers hair, whining for rides to specific destinations.
Not that Meredith asked Ellis for many rides. Only if Derek wasn't available to take her instead. It was rather strange, the relationship she held with him. When she'd met him, she'd merely been this little girl who needed a baby sitter in a last minute situation. Truly, for years, Meredith never took a liking toward him. He had seven years on her. Six year olds don't desire to spend their time with thirteen year old boys. He was consistently teasing her back then. Irking her last nerve.
Then they'd grown up. She grew up. They formed this bond with one another. This unique friendship. She got him as well he got her. It was a balancing act. He was secretly her best friend. Other kids her own age didn't understand her the way he did. She truly did detest every single one of those acne covered, snotty nosed brats back at her high school. All of them seemed to be exactly the same. Yearning for popularity. Picking apart anyone who was the slightest bit different. Meredith fell directly into that category. With her raging fuchsia tresses and dark eyeliner, anyone at her high school would consider she a freak. A fish out of water. Different. Not that she put too much thought into what their opinions of her were. Blonde cheerleaders with big boobs didn't frighten her. Their smart remarks didn't make her inferior. Meredith just hated that teenagers cruel convulsions hit hard at other people who couldn't defend themselves the way Meredith could for herself.
Derek would never discriminate against her differences. Make fun of the attributes that make Meredith, well, Meredith. She's cognizant he's always been her biggest supporter. Pushing her to do her best even when everyone makes it a struggle for her.
However, in this moment, his energy doesn't give her a sense of comfort. He hasn't been her cheerleader. Not for the last two weeks at least.
"I am not barking at you damn it! I'm trying to teach you not to crash into the car in front of you." He sneers. His tone is taut and booming.
A month before after receiving the car as a gift he promised with a grin plastered over his cheeks he'd be more than willing to provide her with driving lessons. He was a legal adult and it seemed unlikely Ellis would ever give up any time at all to show Meredith the rules of the road. Now he was shooting her glares of dissonance. She wasn't a terrible driver by any means. Meredith knew his patience has never worn this thin before. His anger had nothing to do with her driving. She knew that for a fact.
Her tongue licks the metal stuck to her pearly whites. She hates those damn braces with every bone in her body. An appointment to remove them was coming nearer each day and relished the moment. "Yes you are. Even if I do everything completely right, you still have a smart ass comment about it." And he did. She knew asking him to come driving with her today was a rash decision. Ever since the incident fourteen days before, things had been rocky and uncomfortable so to speak. In her defense, he'd been the one to start it. Derek ignited the moment. What gave him the right to take it all out on her? Obviously he sees his action as a mistake. She understands why he'd feel that. Meredith was only sixteen. He was twenty-three. Stupid inappropriate age difference.
"I'm just trying to teach you how to be a good driver." She listens as his taut tone slackens. He softens in moments but judging by his posture, the rigidness is still there. Obviously he's still bothered.
"Well you don't have to bitch at me every five seconds." Meredith grips the wheel tighter. "You don't have to be mad at me because you did something stupid." She mumble underneath her breath.
Obviously, Derek's ears picked up on what she'd said. His expression tightens and he swivels toward Meredith. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" His bravado comes out in a sniveling growl. She'd provoked a nerve most definitely. Meredith ignores his commentary and presses her right foot to the gas pedal as the light turns green, indicating she's permitted to go. She can hear Derek hissing at her from the passenger seat but she isn't willing to pay any bit of attention until the car is at a complete stop.
The tires of her Jeep screech as she pulls off on a gravel parking lot. It's bare with the exception of an older car parked to the far right of her vehicle. It seems as though no one is in the rusting sedan. Her slender fingers twist the key and her ignition quiets from a rumble to an eerie silence.
Meredith huffs and slams backward into her seat, enveloping her arms over tiny chest. "You kissed me. So what? You were the one who started it anyways." Her chin dips downward, hitting the bone of her ribs. "I can't help that it was bad for you or whatever. It's not my fault. I get it, that was a big mistake. But damn it Derek, you don't have to take it out on me."
"Mere," he starts. There's no hatred in his voice. "That's not it."
Sniffles permeate the cabin of the car. She turns her head to face his own. Her irises blurred by glossy tears. "Yeah right," Meredith snorts. "You kissed me underneath that tree in my backyard two weeks ago and ever since you've been like this. Brooding and pretending like the kiss never happened. I get it, obviously it wasn't good for you." Her slender fingers reach to tuck the loose tendril of bright hair that had fallen from her sloppy ponytail back behind her ear. Her eyes divert from his. She physically can't gander into those periwinkle optics which would only result in she breaking down. Derek had been her first kiss and he didn't even enjoy it.
Normally Meredith would never get so flustered by a guy or by anything truthfully. Meredith Grey didn't care about love. But she did give a damn about Derek Shepherd and it pained her that he resented kissing her so much he couldn't even acknowledge it.
Hushed silence floats between them. No one speaks. Even Meredith's tiny sniffles calm to nothing.
"I liked kissing you." Derek acquits and it breaks the tension.
"What?"
"That's the problem, okay? The reason I've been so agitated is because I liked the kiss, Meredith. That's an issue. You're sixteen and I'm twenty-three. I used to be your babysitter. I used to have to kiss your scrapes after you fell off your bike just to get you to stop crying. I watched cartoons with you and played dress up. I'm not supposed to be kissing you under trees or anywhere and enjoying it. But I did and now I'm scared as hell."
She hadn't expected that or even considered the possibility of that. As they'd gotten older their age difference hasn't seemed like such a big deal. She never would have thought he'd be so freaked by that. He did enjoy their lip lock. Her heart flutters. "You don't have to be scared, Derek. It's not even that much a gap. I mean, there are girls in my grade that have sex with like middle aged men." She snickers softly, nudging his forearm with her knuckles. "It's not even like my mother would care. I barely even associate with her as it is. So you kissed me, it's not a big deal." A smile crosses her cheeks. He's her friend and he kissed her. What's the big deal about that?
"Oh Meredith." His lip quirks upward. "It's not that big of deal because I kissed you. It's a big deal because I like you and not like my friend." His brow lifts. Her chest tightens. No guy had ever told her that before. His revelation makes her insides turn to gooey warmth. Her cheeks flush and her skin is scolding.
Meredith snakes her hand over the console and her fingers wrap around his hand. The pad of her thumb strokes over his flesh. His skin is soft. Velvet. "I like you too." And her smirk widens from ear to ear. No words are spoken. The gazes they're sharing are far more powerful than any words could ever be.
Somehow Meredith finds herself parked at Seattle Grace. She can't recollect as to how she got here as her day dreams had taken over entirely. Her heart strings ache at the memory. She rips the key out of the hole and throws the jingling contraption into her bag. Her car door slams and suddenly she's making a beeline for the sliding glass doors of the hospital.
A gust of warmth blasts at her skin and goosebumps arrive. The vicinity is bustling with people. Nurses, residents, attending's, and patients families. Meredith can't help but grin at the imagery in front of her. Her fresh start. Something new. Meredith pulls out her I.D. quickly to show the security guard by the door before proceeding further into the hospital.
She needs to find the chief in order to get instructions as to how this day will play out for her. She's unfamiliar with the territory here. Her eyes search for some kind of sign to direct her to the correct wing of the hospital. Unfortunately, nothing directs her to the proper place. When she spots an elevator, she begins a voyage toward it. Perhaps his office is on the second level.
Without watching, she ends up merging inwardly with a woman. Meredith's bag drops and the contents brimming the purse spill. "Crap." Meredith quips dropping to her knees.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry." Says the voice, reaching outward to help her clean the scattered items sprawled across the tiled floors. Meredith's gaze lands on a taller woman, red hair, bright green eyes. She's donning a white blouse and a black pencil skirt. Immediately Meredith assumes she's an attending and a fashionable one at that. For some peculiar reason Meredith finds herself growing insecure whilst donning jeans and a pair of old converse.
She scrambles to stand after the mystery woman helps her find her belongings. "It's fine." She pushes her honey-gold licks from her face and smiles awkwardly.
"Patient?" She asks, stuffing both hands into her lab coat pockets. Meredith doesn't miss the gigantic rock placated over her ring finger either. The leggy mystery woman definitely screams wealth.
She shakes her head in response, chuckling lightly. "No, new resident. I'm actually trying to find the chiefs office but obviously I'm not doing a very good job." A small chortle relinquishes from between her lips.
The red-head sighs softly. "I can show you." She offers. "I don't have surgery for another hour or so." With that, the two of them are making way toward the elevators.
"Thanks." Meredith mumbles. The two woman file into the cabin of the small vicinity. The woman leans forward and her index finger pushes the number five, allowing the doors to shut closed.
"Where are you transferring from?" She asks curiously, rocking carefully on black stilettos.
Meredith chews her bottom lip nervously, mimicking the taller woman by swaying on the heels of her scuffed shoes. "Mount Sinai." She answers curtly.
"Oh wow, that's an amazing hospital. Any reason for the switch?"
"I needed something different in my life." Meredith admits. Already she can tell how different Seattle Grace is over Mount Sinai.
As terrible as it may seem, she can recall nobody would ever give directions or help some clueless soul out back there. Everyone in that damn place had their nose stuck up as though the ground they pranced over was everything. Like they were all God's with high society complexes. She never fit in there. Meredith wanted to help people. Give them her best. Not be better than everyone around her, although she strives for that title as well. Meredith wasn't looking to make everything a competition anymore. She was so done with competing at this point.
The woman murmurs something incoherent to Meredith's ears. Her expression is unreadable. "Oh, well, change is good." She finally states just as the elevator doors shift open. There are already physicians waiting by the cabin, eager to get in and hurry along to their destination. It entertains her immensely how frantic doctors are. No matter what kind they are whether that be a pediatrician or a surgeon. Meredith follows the sound of her tour guide heels clacking against the ground. She watches intently as the woman waves to a few colleagues, greeting others.
Meredith feels like a lost puppy as she mindlessly follows the mystery woman down the corridor. Finally, she pushes through double doors and they're greeted by the sight of a catwalk. Her gaze meets the enlarged windows, a swaying flag to her left. The view is incredible. Considering a few doctors are leaning against the railing, scoping out the window just as she is, they too seem to think the same as well. "Alright." The red-head asserts. "Just walk down there and on your first right is the chiefs office. I hope everything works out well for you today." The woman grins a tight lipped smile and gestures her arm toward the destination.
Meredith nods slightly and begins to trail down toward the location. "Oh wait!" The woman calls after Meredith. "I didn't catch your name."
"Meredith." She says.
The woman nods and smiles. "Right, Addison. Addison Montgomery."
"Okay, um, thank you."
"Not a problem." And with that Addison switches directions and disappears. Meredith releases a haggard breath. Her day hasn't even begun and she's already exhausted. Quickly, she brings the strap of her tote higher on her shoulder and she trails down toward her destined location.
Phew! Posting this has been an absolute nightmare to say the least. Okay so many things happened in this chapter. Yes, I made Meredith the one with the trailer and not Derek. I've never seen that done in a story before and I thought, why the hell not? I've always assumed Meredith has had a thing for being on the land just as much as Derek had throughout the show anyhow.
I wanted to make things clear and state, Meredith and Derek lived in Boston. Meredith moved to New York for a still unknown reason and Derek moved to Seattle for a still, unknown reason. I'll get to all of this but you have to patient. I also decided not to make Addison a mouth breathing monster as every other MerDer story makes her out to be. I've always been partial toward her character on the show (:
I hope all of you liked the flashback. Not sure if I'll do one every chapter but sometimes when I find it hard to write I'll most likely incorporate them. It is a MerDer story after all. Also if you haven't noticed, I've always liked Meredith's purple Jeep she drove through seasons 1-5. I normally use the vehicle in a lot of my stories.
I wanted to give a huge thank you to all the reviews from the last chapter! Your feed back is incredibly encouraging to me and I love all of your excitement. Feedback for this chapter is greatly appreciated as well!
You're all fantastic and I wanted to say thank you again for enjoying this story. Not sure if I'll have an update ready by the New Year or not but if not then I hope you all have a wonderful one! Thank you again for tuning in, new chapters coming soon hopefully.