Another spike written entry. You know the rules don't sue.
What lies beneath:
Again the lock was picked. Uhhh. Im so tired of being watched. I wish this knife could act on its own. But still. They don't want me by myself and now they've found a doctor for my 'little problem' . all he does is give me pills though.
Ah the pills. That's the end result of all of my struggles. Take a pill. It will cure your sickness. Im not sick. Just misunderstood. The voices in my head are my voice no one else's. the nightmares are just a part of 'post traumatic stress'. Well that's what ive been telling myself. And the cuts….. well… that's self explanatory.
The wounds are the only thing that make this whole nightmare seem less….. fake.. they give me pain and I give them shape. Pain means your alive right. The more you feel the better off you are. That means this blade makes reality. Scary but somewhat comforting. But now they watch me like a hawk. Throw me a bone and then pick me apart. But theres nothing left to take ive given it all away.
All that lies or all that did beneath the mask of sanity I put on for being a slave to appearences has died. Ive lost it all except for them. And for some reason I cant bring myself to care. I want them to hate me because I cant hate them. I want them to leave and never come back because the pain is just….. too much……. I want to die.!!!