Eulogizing Memoirs

Amelie Rae Lanhoss

[A/N-Review responses-bio, as always. This chapter is dedicated to The Dark One Reborn, who took the time to go back and review all the chapters, and, as always, in loving memory, to K.M.L.

-C.R.C.]

Chapter 3-Birthday Surprises And Not So Surprising

September 19, 1996, today, was my 16th birthday.

Walking down the corridor of mainly unused classrooms that stretched from the courtyard door to the Entrance Hall, I absentmindedly trailed the tips of my fingers against the wall. I honestly don't know why Ron thinks I'm going to like a surprise birthday party. Technically, I shouldn't know about it yet since it is supposed to be a surprise, but Ginny let it slip last night when we were flipping through back issues of different magazines in the library. One thing about Ginny is that if you put an issue of Witch Weekly in front of her she'll completely forget just whom she's talking to. Last night she started chatting about how she really thinks that Ron should add more colors to the decorations than just red and gold. It took me about two minutes before I realized she was talking about my surprise party. When Ginny remembered whom she was talking to after she looked up from her magazine she immediately tried to back pedal but it was a bit too late for that. I ended up agreeing to pretend I'm surprised as long as she told me the rest so I could prepare myself for the humiliation, they will, no doubt, heap on me in large quantities, in advance.

A gold paper crown.

They're going to make me wear a gold, paper crown, a-la-Burger-King-style, with the words 'The Birthday Girl' on it. Everyone in all of Gryffindor is supposed to know about this party and dress in red and gold. Apparently this was Ron's idea, I am so going to torture him come March. Would it truly have been bad to, instead, have people dress in my favorite colors instead of my house colors? Honestly, what's so bad about blue and green and maybe black? Oh well.

What else did she say was going to happen? Oh yes, the cake. There's going to be a huge sheet cake, it should be enough for every Gryffindor to have three pieces, with the icing saying 'Hermione Granger-16 years old-Future Head Girl-Future Mistress Of Magic'. I think it's chocolate. Chocolate. The only time I like chocolate is in hot chocolate and the occasional piece of fudge from Honeydukes.

I'm supposed to dance, too, I guess that will be the only good part to the whole thing. Hopefully no one let Colin pick the music again, I don't know what Angelina was thinking, letting him pick the music for last year's Quidditch Cup Winning party, but it was a complete disaster.

At this point I am seriously considering 'borrowing' Harry's cloak right before lunch and just hiding under it somewhere after classes so they can't find me and drag me back to the common room to 'help with homework'. Unfortunately I promised Ginny that I wouldn't avoid it on top of promising to look surprised. I have no idea how I'm going to pull that off, seeing as I'm completely dreading the whole affair anyway.

Here's the Great Hall and Ron and Harry are waiting for me at the doors, like usual. I had almost forgotten Ginny said part of the plan to surprise me was pretending that everything is normal and it isn't my birthday. I still don't understand why they decided to plan me a surprise party, after the 5 years we've been best friends even the most unobservant person would realize I never do anything special for my birthday except receive a cupcake and 15 or so galleons worth of muggle money from my parents. Unfortunately the only answer Ginny would give to this was 'if you haven't noticed by now, I'm not going to tell you'. The problem with that is, noticed what?

"Sleep well, Hermione?"

"Yes, thanks, and you guys?" This is a bit strange, why wouldn't I sleep well? Sirius wouldn't have told.

"Great."

"Yeah, just great, let's go in," and with that Harry pushed open the doors.

The three of us sat in our usual spots, between the middle of the table and the seats closest to the Head Table, and started piling food onto our plates.

"Ew, Ron! That's disgusting! Chew with your mouth closed!" For once, I was not the one to say that, Ginny was.

"Hey Gin, what's up?" Harry asked her.

"Oh nothing much," she said nervously, "just making sure Hermione remembers her promises."

"Yes, yes, I won't forget Ginny," I muttered depressively.

Harry looked quizzically at both of us, "What promise?"

"Oh, nothing big," Ginny told him, still sounding nervous, "just this girl thing, well I gotta go." She quickly stood up and moved back to where Parvati and Lavender were sitting.

Harry looked quizzically at me again.

"You know, Hermione, you've kinda been acting strange all year, ever since the water fight at Snuffles' house."

I wrinkled my forehead, confused, "Strange?"

"Yeah, like-"

I didn't get to find out how I'd been acting strange because the post had arrived and everyone was busy looking at three owls holding an envelope, a large box, and a smaller box stacked on top of the other. To my surprise the owls landed in front of me. Glad I hadn't taken a plate yet I untied one owl from the small stack of boxes while I nodded at Harry to untie the other owl. The third had just dropped its envelope and left. After watching the other two owls fly away I reached for the light blue envelope and opened it.

The envelope jumped out of my hands and hovered about five feet above the table. There was a second's pause during which I was showered in light blue and green confetti before-

"Happy birthday to you-"

"Cha-cha-cha-"

"Frederick Weasley you're ruining her birthday card!"

"Happy birthday to you-"

"Cha-cha-cha-"

"George! I'm sure Hermione has never ruined your birthday card!"

"Happy birthday dear-"

"Cha-cha-cha-"

"There's no cha-cha-cha there Tonks!"

"Oops, sorry!"

"Dear Hermione-"

"Is there a cha-cha-cha here?"

"Cha-cha-cha!"

"Yes-"

"Happy birthday to you-"

"Ok Tonks, say it-"

"Cha-cha-cha!"

"Everyone together now-"

"Happy 16th Hermione!"
"And…cut."

I couldn't help laughing at my birthday card. It had sounded like a good part of the Order had been singing, minus the cha-cha-cha's from just Fred, George, and Tonks. I could definitely pick out Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's voices along with Sirius and Remus, I'm guessing Remus restrained Sirius from adding any cha-cha-cha's, the somewhat slurred voice of Mundungus Fletcher, Kingsley Shacklebolt's voice, Mad-Eye Moody's, Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore, Hagrid's, and, I think, Bill Weasley. It sounded like it was more than that but I couldn't tell who else had helped make it.

Everyone in the Great Hall was staring at our table, and, I'm sure, wondering if I had gone insane because of my laughter over the letter. I will forever be grateful to the Headmaster, who, at that moment, decided to stand up and say "And with those prompting words, may I entice you all in joining me as I wish Miss Hermione Granger a very happy birthday."

That seemed to break the ice and everyone was soon joining in the laughter. With a huge smile on my face that I couldn't seem to suppress I moved the smaller box off the larger one, slit the tape on the lid of the box with my fingernails and pushed it up.

"Whoa."

Surprisingly that came from Harry, I'm too much in shock to say anything. A normal sized sheet cake sat in the box in front of me. It was covered in blue frosting, but, the squiggly lines of frosting along the edge of the cake, and the frosting flowers that were sitting on each corner of the cake, were green. As were the words 'Happy 16th Mione, Darling'. I can't believe it. I can't fucking believe it.

To add to my extremely pleasant surprise the envelope dropped down next to me revealing a birthday card inside and dropping out a small bouquet of green and yellow dyed carnations that grew to normal size by itself. I skipped the picture on the front of the card and flipped to the inside. There were the usual clichéd messages of 'wishing you a happy birthday' and 'hope you enjoy your birthday' and, at the bottom, the one from the person I had been looking for.

Dear Mione,

Hope you're liking your birthday, and the cake. Guess what kind it is? I would've added a cha-cha-cha somewhere but REMUS WHO IS READING THIS OVER MY SHOULDER was being a party pooper I am not! Are too Moony! And write your own message! Anyways, happy birthday, tell Harry I said hi, owl me if you need more of the stuff in the little box, or, owl me whenever you feel like it, and all that stuff.

All my best,

Padfoot and Moony!

Harry nudged me in the side, pulling me out of my shock.

"What?" I ask him, barely turning my head in his direction and still staring at the cake and letter with a huge smile on my face.

"What kind of cake is it?"

I shrugged my shoulders and broke a tiny piece off with my fingers. I brought the piece to my mouth, tasted it, and smiled even more.

"Strawberry," I answered him with a giddy feeling of warmth and happiness growing in my stomach, "It's strawberry."

He snorted.

"What?" It was my turn to ask.

"Well they obviously don't know you very well."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, frowning a little bit, after all, what right did he have to tell me whether the person I trusted knew me or not.

"Because they would've given you your favorite kind of cake if they knew you at all."

"But strawberry is my favorite," I smiled at him, a little confused.

"Oh, right, of-of course." He looked at me strangely, as if I had suddenly told him that I didn't really have just one head. Come to think of it Ron's looking pretty pale across the table too.

"What's with you guys?" I asked them, even more confused.

"Nothing, nothing," Harry said quickly, "So what's the other box?"

I slit the tape on the smaller box with my fingernails too and flipped the lid. I didn't know my smile could get any bigger, but apparently it can, now I know I won't stop smiling all day.

"Well?"

"Hot chocolate," I told him grinning, "packets of 'Althea's Already Hot, Hot Chocolate'"

"Why would someone send you packets of hot chocolate when you can just get it from the kitchen's?"

Because he cares. Because he knows it helps keep away my nightmares. Because he knows that I do have nightmares. Because it's the only thing I'll use almost daily that no one else will think of. Because I trusted him enough to tell him.

Before, though, I could come up with a suitable answer to give to Harry the Headmaster came up to us.

"Happy birthday, again, Miss Granger."

"Thank you, sir."

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley."

He nodded at them in turn and then continued walking.

"Oh, and Miss Granger?"

"Yes, sir?"
"He's a very good friend, Miss Granger, he planned it all and really does care about you. You are very lucky to have him, my dear."

"Thank you, sir," my smile grew a bit more; I was extremely lucky to have someone to trust.

"And Miss Granger?" The twinkle in Professor Dumbledore's eyes increased ever so slightly.

"Yes, sir?"

"His birthday is on the 29th of October."

I smiled at this and filed it away for future reference.

"Thank you, sir."

Harry waited until Dumbledore was out of earshot before questioning me immediately.

"What was that all about? Who was he talking about? Who even calls you 'Mione, darling'? What friend was he talking about?"

"It was nothing Harry, honestly, you act almost like you think you guys are my only friends! I'm off to the library, see you in Potions."

With that I left with my flowers, boxes, and the note, I cast a quick look at one of the windows as I was pushing open the doors and saw the reflection of Harry sitting with his jaw dropped open. Ron's still looking a bit pale, wonder what's up with him.

I was humming ABBA's 'Dancing Queen' to myself as I made my way out of the library and towards the staircase to the seventh floor with one of my birthday flowers pinned in my hair at the back of my head and a huge stack of books.

"There you are Hermione."

I raised an eyebrow at Ron. Why would he be looking for me? What was he up to?

"Yes, Ron," I said very slowly, "Here I am, what's up?"

"Oh nothing much," he said quickly, a little too quickly, "heading back up to the common room?"

"Yes…"

"I'll walk with you, I'm heading there anyway."

I nodded slowly at Ron, giving him a bewildered look, what was he up to? Oh, well, some of the giddiness of this morning is still in me and I can't really bring myself to care all that much.

As soon as we reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, Ron took my books out of my arms and into his.

"Allow me," he said while I just looked at him, confused, "Draco Dormiens."

The Fat Lady mouthed 'way to go' and winked at me, for some strange reason, before swinging open.

"Surprise!"

Fuck! I almost jumped out of my skin I was so scared for a second. The party. I had completely forgotten about the party. Everyone's laughing at my expression now, and dragging me further into the room; the entire room is, of course, all red and gold. Parvati and Lavender are hurrying forward now. Oh yes, the gold paper crown. One of them has bobby pins and is starting to pin it up while the other one is using some sort of charm that's straightening and then slightly curling my hair. I imagine it doesn't look half bad. Please, please, please don't touch my flower.

There's a pile of presents on the other side of the table with the giant chocolate sheet cake (right, that's why Harry and Ron went all pale this morning after I told them my favorite cake was strawberry), which is just as big as Ginny said. I grab a cup of what I'm desperately hoping is butterbeer off another small table and mentally prepare myself for a very long night.

A few hours after the surprise-slash-not surprise of my life I was dancing with Dean Thomas to 'Spin Around' when Lavender Brown, with a blush worthy of an extremely embarrassed Weasley, came up to us.

"Um…Hi! Uh…Dean."

Dean looked a bit startled to see her but covered it up.

"Hi…um, Lavender. I mean-hey Lavender, what's up?"

"Oh…um-nothing much, so-uh-would you like to dance…with me?"

"I-uh," here Dean gave me a look that plainly said 'I really, really, like Lavender, please, please, let me go dance with her'.

"Oh go on," I shooed them off with a wave of my hand.

"Thanks Mione!" Dean smiled at me and led Lavender off closer to the small stage the music was coming from.

I smiled back and turned to the drinks table, grabbing a butterbeer before I went off to find Ron and Harry.

Five minutes later I heard two familiar voices wafting to me through a scarlet curtain hung in front of the stairway to the boys dormitories.

"So you think I should ask her?"

Ask who what?

"Definitely, why wouldn't she say yes? Especially after this, way to go, by the way, Ron."

"Thanks, it is pretty good, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is, so are you gonna ask her tonight?"

"Yup, if I can get up the courage anyways."

"You're a Gryffindor, of course you'll get up the courage, just think about being able to honestly say 'my girlfriend, Hermione Granger' and you'll get up the courage easily."

'My girlfriend, Hermione Granger'? Ron is not going to ask me to be his girlfriend, no way.

"God I can't wait to say that!"

Hell no!

Harry laughed, "you have to ask her first, Ron, but she'll definitely say yes."

I most certainly will not say yes!

"I think I'll see if I can find her and ask now."

Hell no!

I quietly hurried off before they could come out and see me.

"Ginny!" I hissed when I found her. I motioned her frantically to a hidden corner behind a suit of armor.

"What's wrong?" she asked me.

"Ron's going to ask me to go out with him!" I told her.

"So he finally did it? Wait, why do you look freaked out and depressed? Shouldn't you be happy?"

I let myself get sidetracked for a minute, "hang on, you knew he was going to ask me? And you didn't convince him to forget about it?"

"Why would I? Don't you-oh my god-you don't, do you? You don't love him as anything more than a friend, do you?"

"No, I don't like him as anything more than a best friend and surrogate brother. I don't want to date him! But I don't want to stop being friends either!"

Ginny looked shocked, "Oh god, Hermione, I am so sorry, I really thought you like-liked him. I kept telling him to go for it. Oh my god, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know! What the hell am I supposed to do!?"

"Wow Hermione, you just swore! I've never heard you swear before."

What the hell is wrong with Ginny? I'm on the verge pf having a nervous breakdown and all she says is 'wow, I've never heard you swear before'! Can't she see I'm panicking?! I let out a frustrated moan that seemed to jerk Ginny back into the present.

"You have no idea how bad I feel, Hermione!"

Wanna bet? Bet I've felt worse.

"I really don't know what to say!"

That makes two of us.

"Oh god, here's what we're going to do, you sort-of-avoid Ron,"

Sort-of-avoid? How do you 'sort-of-avoid' someone?

"And I'll try to talk him out of it,"

Brilliant, I really could not have come up with that on my own, I really couldn't have.

"It might take awhile though."

Hal-lei-loo-ya.

"Well, at least one of us has something resembling a plan," I told her moaning.

"It's an excellent plan, now cheer up, you're starting to sound like Moaning Myrtle," Ginny said, "And get lost," she added hurriedly, "Ron's coming this way."

"Shit."

"Let's play Truth Or Dare!" Ginny announced out of the blue, a few hours of dancing, sort-of-Ron-avoiding and cake-eating later, after mostly everyone but her and the majority of my year had gone up to bed.

Normally, I hate Truth Or Dare, but today, everything's different, and there's no way Ron'll ask me to be his girlfriend with a group of people watching, another plus for Truth Or Dare.

"I'm game," I hear myself say, everyone stares at me in surprise for a beat, usually I just excuse myself whenever someone says that and go up to my dorm to do whatever, usually study or read something. Today, though, is different, it's my 16th birthday, I'm still giddy from the cake and present and card from this morning, chocolate cake didn't taste so bad after all, and I think someone may have spiked the butterbeer.

A minute later we were all sitting in a circle debating on who should get to ask first.

"I think I should," I announced, strangely feeling out of character, "since it is my birthday."

Everyone agreed and I debated quickly in my head who to ask what.

"Seamus," I said after a pause, oh I hope he picks dare, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," he responded, looking a little scared, I really do have to find a way to suppress my maniacal smiles.

"I dare you to slap Professor Snape's butt tomorrow as he walks up to the Head Table for breakfast and say 'ooh that's fine!'"

Everyone, but Seamus, is cracking up at this, imagining, I'm sure, what Professor Snape's reaction will be tomorrow. I honestly didn't know someone could go as pale as Seamus is without fainting. Seamus swallowed hard.

"Ok, I'll do it tomorrow, my turn, Ginny, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Um…I don't really know any so…I guess…I dare you to…sing one of your best friends' favorite song."

She took a quick glance at me, what're you thinking Ginny, you will definitely not sing my favorite song, before, "do I have to say who's favorite song it is?"

"Uh, I guess not. Nope."

"Ok, this is one of my friends' favorite songs, it's a bit depressing, I think, but it's also kind of nice, I like the rhythm."

Ok Gin, sing it already.

"You don't remember me but I, remember you, I lie awake and try so hard, not to think of you, but who, can, decide, what they dream, and dream I do, I believe in you, I'll give up everything just to find you, I have to be with you, to live, to breathe, you're taking over me, have you forgotten all I know, and all we had, you saw me mourning my love for you, and touched my hand, I knew you loved me then, I believe in you, I'll give up everything just to find you, I have to be with you, to live, to breathe, you're taking over me, I look in the mirror and see your eyes, if I go deep enough, so many things inside that, just like you, are taking over, I believe in you, I'll give up everything just to find you, I have to be with you, to live, to breathe, you're taking over me, I believe in you, I'll give up everything just to find you, I have to be with you, to live, to breathe, you're taking over me, taking over me, you're taking over me, taking over me, taking over me,"

"Wow, that was awesome Gin! I don't know who loves that song but you're an incredible singer!"

Ginny blushed, "thanks Seamus, ok, my turn!"

I cannot believe she sung that, oh well, at least she didn't name names.

"Um…Hermione!"

Fuck.

"Truth or dare?"

Truth or dare?

You live once.

Truth or dare?

Truth.