Chapter 4: Who am I?

Nagisa pushed himself up from the ground. He looked around and realized that what he saw was his classroom. But there was no one around. He looked out the window and saw the sun. As he got up he realized he was in his PJs the soft cotton overly large shirt and a pair of gray cotton pants.

Why was he here? What was going on? Where was everyone? How did he get here?

These were the questions he asked himself as he wondered to the front of the class. That was when he noticed the first difference as he saw that most of the class was in shadows even though where he sat was in bright light.

Questions filled his mind as he looked at the black board which a moment ago was cleaned was filled with words. Different handwriting filled different areas and some repeated. Some of the words he could make out even though it was a mixture of English and Japanese characters. Things like cute, help, funny, weird, how, when, to follow, do this and others but most of it was either too messy or overwritten too many times to clearly see what was written.

He passed his desk only to see sheets upon sheets of paper thrown across them. He tried to read them but every time he looked at one the sheets either became blurred or blanked out with the exception of the names of his classmates which lay at the top of the paper.

Nagisa looked back up to his teacher's desk and felt a pull towards it. He walked up only to see pictures all over though they all looked to be taken at a distance, in motion or out of focus. He recognized colors like yellow, green, blue and others but the pictures didn't make sense. If he had to guess he would say they were all pictures of him but why would this be happening.

Did all this have something to do with his blocked memories or was this something else? Was he going out of his mind or was something else going one? Why did this have to happen to him? He wondered all of this even as his vision blurred and felt himself falling.

He could hear voices of those he know from his classmates to his parents, his teachers, and other voices. Like everything else so far he only caught a few things and even fewer things made sense.

He had no sense of time until he heard something. He opened his eyes only to be greeted by three of his best friends but their faces were shadowed and the only way he recognized them was their distinctive hair colors and styles. They leaned over him with smiles caught somewhere between mischievous and malice but it sent a shiver down his spine and any safety he had felt was gone in an instant. They were closer than they should be and he did the only thing he could.

He screamed.

Nagisa silently screamed as he sat up in bed. It took a long time to get his breathing under control. He was shaking as the dream replayed over and over in his brain until some parts were but a distant memory while others became clearer. This dream or whatever you wanted to call it, was trying to tell him something but what it was he had no idea what it could be.

Lately, he knew he was starting to miss some pieces of himself he felt incomplete but he had no idea why and what was causing this or how to fix what was happening to him. He had to wonder exactly who he was now, who he was becoming and if he should let it happen or fight it. He wished Karma was here and he could ask him but considering it was still night and Karma had a tendency to sleep like the dead until five o'clock he would have to wait until the morning to contact him.

Nagisa looked out his window and watched the moon shine. Who was he really because it seemed to him like he was breaking apart and there was nothing he could do about it. He felt tears run down his cheeks at the thought of losing himself but from the dream, he couldn't tell which parts were himself and which had been made up and which parts were missing. Gosh, his life was screwed up as it was without adding a mental break and a loss of identity mixed in with it. But then again life really was never fair to him. So this was what he would have to deal with for now. But something nagged at him right before he was attacked he felt something a sense of protection but from who or what he had no idea and a thousand other questions revolved around that feeling.

Maybe with luck, he would find out the answers soon. But even if he could find the answers he so desperately wanted he had a feeling that would be the first step in a long process. Something in his gut told him that he was in for a world of trouble. Hopefully, he was over thinking things and it wouldn't change as much as he feared.

Nagisa curled up into a small ball on his brothers as he let himself fall into a fitful sleep. With his luck, he knew that things would get far worse before they started to get better but he hoped that he would have help along the path he was about to take.

^^^^^Nagisa^^^^^

AN: Please be aware that over the next week I will be editing the story as I realized that some people are having a hard time reading some of the sentences. I reread and admit that some of the parts are getting a little confusing. So I will be editing the first 4 chapters of the story. I'll try to submit the edits as quickly as possible but please be warned that it might take the whole week to do so. As soon as those are done I'll try to get the next chapter up within a week of the latest update. I will also let you know that the other chapters are updated.

again sorry for the delay but I would like you all to enjoy this story without too much confusion on your part.

Constructive criticism is always welcome

also if you would like to beta/proofread or anything else I would love the help just leave a PM or a comment

Anyway until next time