Peeta's POV
My parents were talking about my future. Again. Ever since the start of senior year, the main topic of conversation had been about what college I was going to attend, what I was going to study, whether I was going to run the Mellark Bakery one day. They just didn't understand that I didn't want to be up in some office looking over finances, I wanted to be down in the kitchen- baking bread and decorating cakes. However, today the topic had shifted away from my occupation and instead towards my relationship.
"You need to leave that girl, Peeta." My mother said for about the third time during dinner.
"It's not going to happen." I replied, pushing food around my plate sullenly. I had quickly lost my appetite when my mother started to insult Katniss once again.
"Peeta listen. Katniss doesn't belong here. You need to find someone who does."
"You mean someone who your friends approve of?" I snapped.
"In a way, Peeta." she said, her lips pursed. "Do you know how hard it is to tell my friends about where your girlfriend comes from? They warned me you know, that she will turn you bad, get you into things that will ruin your life."
"Katniss isn't like that." I exclaimed angrily. My mother had no idea what Katniss was really like, and it was making me madder than I had ever felt before.
"Just tell him." My father said wearily, as if wanting to get an unpleasant topic out of the way.
"Tell me what?" I turned to him.
"Peeta…" My mother took a deep breath. "Your father and I have been talking, and we've agreed to let you study what ever you want to study, where ever you want."
I almost couldn't believe it. Quickly, my anger turned to excitement. "Are you serious?"
"But," My mother began. Oh, there was always a but. "Only if you break it off with Katniss. For good."
I felt like my entire world was crumbling around me, and instantly my excited feeling turned to one of complete doom. Leave Katniss for good? That was impossible. Even if it meant spending the rest of my life working up in some stuffy office, I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Katniss. I didn't think I would ever be. We were teenagers, I knew that, but I couldn't deny that what I felt for Katniss was real, so real, and I just knew that she was the one for me.
"I can't do that." I choked out, trying my best not to do something embarrassing like cry, even though my eyes were stinging with tears over how unfair the situation was. "I'll study business, I don't care."
"Peeta." My mother sighed. "You have no choice. Either you break up with Katniss, or we'll freeze your college trust fund."
So even if I did study what they wanted me to, they still wouldn't pay? And all because I was dating someone who didn't come from a millionaire family? The whole situation was totally ridiculous, but then again, since I was born my mother had tried to make my life as hard as possible for me. I felt sick, so completely and utterly sick, and I honestly had no idea how I could be related to such a bitter and vicious woman.
I stood up from my chair, throwing my napkin onto the table angrily before slamming the door to my bedroom. I wish I had done something cool, like smash a hole in a wall or something, but in reality I lay down on my bed and let a few tears escape my eyes as I thought through my options.
There was no way I could afford college without my trust fund, especially since I didn't get paid to work at the bakery. I couldn't get a job any where else either, because my parents had made it very clear to me that as long as I lived under their roof I was not allowed to work outside of the family business. So I could move out, except I had no money for that either. All my options kept pointing back to breaking up with Katniss, but there was absolutely no way I was ever going to even consider that choice.
I knew what I needed to do was talk it through, but I could ever tell Katniss about what had just happened. So, I dragged myself from my bed and headed off to Finnick's apartment.
When I arrived, Mags let me in and led me down the hall just like she did when I was a child, coming over to play LEGO with Finnick. I wished for a moment that I could go back to that time, where everything was so much simpler.
When I knocked on Finnick's door, he greet me cheerfully. "Excellent timing, Peeta! Annie was just trying to convince me to play Scrabble with her, and we all know it's just because she likes to beat me."
I followed Finnick inside to find Annie sitting cross legged on Finnick's bed, an exasperated look on her face.
"Hey, you're the one who always suggests we play Twister!" she argued playfully.
"Oh come on, you know you love it." Finnick sat back down next to Annie, kissing her cheek.
I suddenly felt bad for interrupting their time together, and decided I needed to leave. "Hey, sorry for interrupting, I'll just go."
"You don't have to leave, Peeta." Annie said, untangling herself from Finnick's arms to put some space between them.
"Yeah, come on over buddy." Finnick patted the bed beside him, before scooting closer to Annie once again. She sighed, giving up and letting Finnick wrap his arms around her again.
"Thanks, but I'll stay over here..." I replied, pulling up Finnick's desk chair.
"Are you okay?" Annie asked, a concerned look on her face.
"It's kind of a long story. I feel bad for barging in."
"Peeta, it's fine!" Finnick laughed. "You let me moan about missing Annie all summer, it's time I returned the favour."
"Did you really do that?" Annie asked Finnick incredulously.
"Everyday." I told her, rolling my eyes. "So yeah, you definitely owe me Finnick."
So I recounted to them everything my parents had said to me, and to my surprise Finnick gave me his full attention, not once getting distracted by Annie sitting right beside him.
"Come and live with me, Peeta." Finnick suggested once I had finished, as if it was the most obvious solution in the world. "I've always wanted a brother- we can get bunk beds and everything!"
"Thanks, but there's no way I'm getting forced into playing Twister with you two." I joked.
"Don't be like that, Peeta." Finnick laughed. "It's not like you have many other options here."
He was right, and even though staying with Finnick was one thousand times more appealing than going back to my apartment, I knew it wouldn't work out. "Yeah, but even if I did move in and get a job, there is no way I could save up enough money in time to afford college."
"I'll split my trust fund with you, then." Finnick persisted.
"No way." I said seriously. I could never ask Finnick to do that for me.
"Why don't you just pretend to break up with Katniss?" Annie asked suddenly.
That was something I had never even considered. But after thinking about it for just a moment, I knew it was no good. "There's no way I could keep it a secret, not around here, anyway." I said glumly.
The three of us fell silent, staring at the floor as if Finnick and Annie too were starting to feel the doom setting in.
"I should go. I've work tomorrow." I said, dragging myself up from Finnick's chair.
"I know it doesn't feel like it now, but things are going to work out okay. You'll see." Annie said, but I wasn't convinced.
"Listen, Peeta. You and Katniss are meant to be together. I'm not going to stand by and let you two break up, alright?" Finnick said seriously, more serious than I had heard him sound in a long time.
"Awww, Finnick." Annie said, taken aback by how serious he was being too. She kissed him deeply, and I knew that it was my cue to leave.
I left Finnick's apartment so desperately wishing he and Annie were right, when really I had never felt so hopeless about a situation ever before.
I left my apartment early the next morning, to avoid my parents at breakfast. I knew arguing with them wasn't going to change their minds, so it was better if I just stayed away from them. So I took the subway down to the bakery and opened up the kitchen, at once feeling a little more calm around the ovens and the ingredients.
It was just past midday, and I had taken out a fresh batch of cupcakes out of the oven, when I heard a familiar voice call my name. I turned to see Katniss walking towards me, a happy smile on her face.
"Hey." she said simply, kissing me.
"Hey yourself." I replied. I had no idea why, but seeing her was making me feel nervous. Not the good kind of nervous though, but the sick kind of nervous. I was terrified that Katniss would some how be able to read my mind and figure out that breaking up with her was looking like my only option, if I wanted to actually have a future. I didn't want it to come to that, but I was beginning to think there was no other way.
"Are you okay?" Katniss asked, eyeing me with a worried expression.
"Yeah, fine. Why?" I said quickly. Maybe she really could read my mind.
"You seem kind of tense."
"Just have a lot of work to do today, that's all." I lied.
"So I should leave?" she suddenly sounded disappointed.
"No, no…you don't have to!" Upsetting Katniss was the last thing I wanted to do.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come…it's just I wanted to ask…" Her cheeks started to glow red. "I'll go."
As she turned to leave I caught her arm and pulled her closer to me. If I could just block out the problem looming over my head I could enjoy being with Katniss just like I always did. She didn't come here often, so I knew that there must be an important reason. I loved Katniss when she was being secretive, but I really did want to know why she was there.
"You wanted to ask me something?" I prompted her.
Katniss' cheeks burned red again and she dipped her head down to avoid my eye. "Are you free tonight?" she asked quickly.
"Are you asking me on a date, Miss Everdeen?" I joked.
"Kind of." she replied, still not meeting my eye.
"Kind of?" I repeated, confused.
"I just thought…" Katniss trailed off before quickly finishing her sentence. "Well my sister has a sleepover tonight and my mother is working the night shift at the hospital, so I thought maybe you'd want to stay over tonight."
She spoke so quickly it took a minute for me to properly process what she had said. Don't get me wrong, I loved spending any time at all with Katniss, but she wanted to take things slow, and during the summer she backed away when things went too far. Katniss wasn't used to being so close to someone, and I guess the thought of going all the way made her feel vulnerable. I understood it completely, which was why it was such a big deal that she was inviting me to stay the night. I was thrilled, I wasn't going to lie, but at the same time my mother's ultimatum was still hanging over my head, making it hard to enjoy anything at all.
I realised she was waiting nervously for me to answer. "Well I wouldn't want you getting lonely, all by yourself." I joked. "What time should I come over?"
"Seven thirty? I'll cook dinner."
"Are you sure you don't want me to cook?"
"I'm not that bad at cooking am I?" she exclaimed.
"No," I laughed, "I'm only joking."
"Good." Katniss crossed her arms stubbornly. "Because I'm going to make the best damn dinner you've ever had."
"I look forward to it." I smiled.
I leant in to kiss her, all my worries immediately melting away as her hands moved to my hair. It both calmed me down and frightened me when I realised that there was no way I could ever leave this girl.
"Peeta!" My mother's stern voice cut across the kitchen and we jumped apart. "What's going on here?"
"N-nothing!" I stammered. Trust my mother to ruin everything once again.
My mother looked angrily at Katniss. "Remember our little chat, Peeta?"
I gulped and looked away as my mother left the kitchen. I didn't want to meet Katniss' eye, but I could tell that she was looking at me for an answer.
"What was she talking about?" Katniss asked.
"Don't worry about it." I muttered. "I'll see you later?"
Katniss smiled, but I could tell she wasn't convinced. "Okay. See you."
With one last kiss, she left the kitchen, and I went back to baking to distract myself from the decisions I had to make about my future.
I arrived at Katniss' apartment at exactly seven thirty, trying to shake the bad thoughts from my mind. I just needed one night to forget all about the future, and enjoy being with Katniss in the present.
Katniss was smiling widely when she opened the door and pulled me close to kiss me.
"Thanks for coming." she said shyly.
"How could I resist the temptation of your delicious dinner?" I laughed.
Katniss rolled her eyes, "But you still had to bring dessert." she said, pointing to the cake box I had brought with me.
"Well you know, just in case." I joked.
To give her credit, the house smelled amazing when I walked inside. Katniss quickly crossed back over the stove, checking on her pot of lamb stew.
Unlike at Finnick's beach house, I leant back against the kitchen bench while Katniss did the cooking. For a moment I just watched her, taking in how beautiful she looked. She was concentrating hard on the pot, biting down on her lip as she stirred it. A strand of hair had come loose from her braid and kept falling in front of her face... The moment was perfect, and I wanted to make sure I would never forget it.
"So, are you going to tell me what your mother was talking about?" she asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Seriously, don't worry about it." I sighed.
Katniss paused. "It's obviously upset you."
"Just college stuff again."
"You can talk to me about it." she persisted.
"I don't want to, alright?" I exclaimed more angrily than I intended to. I didn't want to ruin the night by talking about it.
"Well, sorry for wanting to listen to my boyfriend's problems." she muttered, turning her attention back to the pot on the stove.
"Look, its complicated, okay?" I said through gritted teeth. "It's better that you don't know."
"You can't say that and then not tell me!" Katniss exclaimed.
I sighed. She wasn't going to let this go. I tried to convince myself that maybe it would be easier if I talked it over with Katniss. "Fine." I said, defeated. "But you aren't going to like it."
Katniss took the pot off the heat and looked at me, as if prompting me to start explaining things to her. I took a deep breath before beginning.
"My parents don't want us to be together." I started.
"I figured that." Katniss cut in.
"Are you going to let me finish?" I laughed suddenly. I should have known that Katniss wouldn't let me get through the whole story in one go.
"Sorry." Katniss bit her lip. "I won't say anything else."
I took another deep breath. "Yesterday, my mother told me that I had two choices: I either stay with you and they freeze my college trust fund, or we break up and they let my study whatever I want."
Katniss was absolutely still. For a moment, I wasn't even sure if she was breathing. Finally, she shook herself together. "So what are you doing to do?" she whispered.
"I don't know." I replied honestly.
"You don't know?" Katniss asked, exasperated.
Oh God. That was not the right thing to say. "No! I mean, it's not that I'm actually considering breaking up, it's just… I have no idea what I'm going to do, Katniss." She was staring at me, and I ran a hand through my hair anxiously. "I shouldn't have said anything."
"Yes, you should have." Katniss replied honestly. "Peeta, you can't give up college for me."
"Yes I can." I said forcefully. "I'll work at the bakery, it's what I always planned to do anyway."
"But you don't get paid." she reminded me.
"Money isn't the whole world, Katniss." I tried to smile.
"Trust me, I know." Katniss said. "But I don't want that to happen to you, Peeta. Not because of me."
"Katniss, I'll figure something out."
"You need to go to college, Peeta."
"I need to be with you, Katniss."
Katniss shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "You'll regret it, Peeta. I know you will. I can't do that to you."
"I love you Katniss, I'll never regret staying with you." I said, my voice starting to break.
"I love you too, Peeta." Katniss said softly. "But I can't let you sacrifice your future for me."
"Are we…?" I said, my voice breaking. I couldn't say the words, 'breaking up', I just couldn't.
Katniss nodded her head, fighting back tears that were quickly forming in her eyes. She was trying to look strong, but I knew that she was hurting, and that it was all my fault.
"Katniss, please…" I whispered. I stepped towards her, to pull her into my arms, but she moved away from me.
"You should go." She turned away, as if she didn't want me to see how upset she was.
But I knew how upset she was, because I felt exactly the same way. Everything had happened to so fast I thought I was going to pass out, and my head was starting to spin. I knew that staying in her apartment was only going to make things worse, and that nothing I said would change her mind right now. I thought she might need some time to re-think it, but I didn't want to bet on it though, knowing how stubborn she was. Katniss had made up her mind, giving me the chance to go to college but sacrificing her own feelings at the same time, and I hated myself for putting her in that position.
My heart broke when I heard her sniff back a tear, hating myself even more for being the reason for her pain. It took all my strength not to comfort her, and instead I slowly turned towards the front door and left Katniss alone in her apartment. I couldn't bring myself to go home just yet, so instead I stayed sitting on the curb outside her apartment building for what felt like hours, watching the cars drive by.
I couldn't even comprehend what had just happened. Katniss and I were over. The girl I loved was upstairs while I was down there, and I honestly had no idea what to do. I couldn't loose her, but with a sinking stomach I realised that I just had.