A/N: A whole sackful of thanks for those who've left such nice reviews (Lyaksandra in particular!) I half wonder if you're lulling me into a full sense of security before the brutal, crushing truck o'criticism arrives, smashes in through my front door and proceeds to viciously and repeatedly run me over, all the while laughing as these killer trucks tend to do.

Now. On with our story. I'm not quite so happy with this chapter but, well, you can only proofread so many times before the letters start dancing around the screen in mockery.

Saturday. Drizzle. She can manipulate reality. Why not glorious sunshine? Forcibly altering weather patterns has a 9.4% chance of disturbing the climate catastrophically for many thousands of years. She is unaware. The question remains. Why drizzle?

All members of the Brigade were fully informed about the nature of my upgrades following yesterday's early dismissal. Pranks shall now have to be more elaborate.

Kyon finally arrives. Thirty seconds late. All other members were early.

'Idiot! Moron! Your lack of enthusiasm smacks of insubordination and revolt. Show the Chief due respect! Death penalty! You're paying for lunch too!'

'And just how precisely can I pay for lunch when I'm dead?'

Many possibilities. Postponement of death until after lunch. Removing wallet from dead body. Reanimation of corpse.

...

Did I say that out loud?

Suzumiya takes this in her stride. 'Exactly! You underestimate the powers of your formidable leadership. Minus ten thousand points!'

'I sure hope my negative point score doesn't count against me in the afterlife.'

He is particularly sarcastic today.

Suzumiya pulls out a set of straws. She rearranges them behind her back and holds them in front.

'Pick one, idiot!'

'Good grief. Fine.' Kyon pulls out a non-marked straw. Koizumi also picks a non-marked straw. Ms. Asahina does the same.

'Ha. So two guys and a girl on one team. Sorry Mikuru. If either of you molest our mascot there'll be a super death penalty! I'll kill you both twenty times!'

I see. Suzumiya and myself. Coincidence?

'Meet back here at one! Since there's three of you on your team there's no excuses! Break into people's houses if you need to. Plenty of mysterious things must be going on in a town the size of this!'

The two groups part. We walk towards the shopping centre. Suzumiya nonchalantly throws five unmarked straws into a bin.

...

'I set up these teams on purpose.'

I see that.

'What's with that non-committal answer? I mean, shouldn't you be saying something about cheating? Or showing some curiosity about why your Chief bothered to set up this scenario?' Her face reddens a little. She appears agitated.

...

'This is what I don't get! You're part of my Brigade. But how much do I know about you? Nothing, except that you like books and that you're good with computers. Even that whole thing where you pulled pranks on the other members, that was just my orders. It tells me you've got some wit and a bit of nerve, but still; what's that to go on? I sent the others out to look for something we don't understand. But I've already got one, right here.'

She stares unblinkingly.

...

Dread. An undesirable new emotion. Suzumiya theatrically pulls a folded sheet of paper from her pocket.

'I've made a list. One hundred questions. Resistance is futile! I don't care whether you like it or not, I'm gonna pin you down.'

Think twice. I've got an alarm.

'Shut up.'

###

'Ninjas or pirates?'

Neither. Both are unpleasant.

'What's your favourite colour?'

#ACE1AF

'What three traits do you seek in a partner?'

Humanoid. Alive. Knows when to stop asking questions.

'Name a special talent you possess'

The manipulation of data.

'What does that even...Yuki! Stop giving such stupid answers!'

The answers are accurate. The object of the exercise would be defeated if other answers were given.

'F-fine! I get the message. Enough questions. We'll go shopping, then. Maybe you'll relax and lighten up a little...'

###

We enter a small independent bookstore on a side street. On the way we pass an odd building. It resembles a European medieval castle. Strange.

'So what's your favourite kind of book?'

Science fiction and supernatural.

'Whoa! We shared such a big interest all along and I didn't even know? Hey, wait a minute. Do you actually believe in aliens, time travellers, sliders and espers?'

Undoubtedly.

'Oh man. I've been wasting my time hanging around with Kyon. All he ever does is whine about how stupid the Brigade is, make fun of me and piss me off.'

She sighs. A wistful look in her eyes.

'Mikuru's just eye-candy. I think Koizumi has some sort of crush on me. He just does whatever the hell I tell him to. It's boring when people don't have any backbone at all. All along there was another genuine believer here and I didn't even know. I stole the room from you without even checking if you were interested.'

She shakes her head despairingly.

'It's kind of depressing.'

I tell her that I do not mind. That the literature club was short on members. That it would have closed if she hadn't appeared. She is perplexed.

'Huh? No, dumbass, it's not like I feel guilty for stealing the space for the SOS Brigade or anything. I mean, that turned out okay so there's nothing to apologise for!'

Dubious moral consequentialism.

'What? Don't just come out and say confusing things!'

...

'Don't look at me like that! Okay. I get it! I say confusing things sometimes too. Whatever.'

Towards the end of this exchange her voice increased in volume considerably. The shopkeeper glares in our direction.

'What the heck are you looking at? It's a bookstore. Not a library.'

###

We began walking towards the designated assembly point.

'You know, this has been fun. I really enjoyed today.'

She looks upwards to the skies.

'The other group are hopeless. They'll never find anything.'

We walk in silence. Several times it appears she is about to say something. Minutes pass. We do not appear to have moved as far as we should have done. Manipulation?

'Yuki.'

...

Her face develops a red tinge. I ask if she is unwell.

'N-no. Not at all. Ugh...this is crazy, lame! What the hell am I thinking? I hardly know you...'

...

I do not understand. Sudden tension. Unknown origin.

'I half-reckoned that if we stopped looking and just relaxed a bit something unusual would be bound to appear.'

...

She opens and closes her mouth several times more. Potential winning audition for role of goldfish.

'But you know...? It actually feels like I've found something much more important. I think...'

Emergency connection request.

The Overmind had been quiet recently. Prepared to judge developments from afar. Sudden. Worrying.

Request accepted.

Spatial-temporal breach. Division has arisen between the factions of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity concerning future actions. Arrival of rebel interface imminent. Likely that the interface's instructions are to kill. Defeat and disable this interface.

Location? Appearance?

These questions are rendered irrelevant. A swirling black circle appears just ahead in the centre of the street.

'...I think I might...Wait? What the hell is that?' Her awe is as if she has glimpsed God. Excitement not among my primary responses to this scenario. I step in front of her. She must be protected at all costs.

A gentle lilting voice emanates from inside the void.

'Oh, how cute. But it's not her I'm after, Yuki Nagato. You are my opponent.'

The voice is familiar. A figure emerges from the void.

'Wow. You set up a portal from Canada just so you could visit us? Neat. I told Kyon something was weird about her!'

A/N 2: RUH-ROH...