EPOV
My hand was still tingling form the sensation I got from touch Bella. It was like a thousand firecrackers busted inside my hand. Not in a painful way, but in a universe alteration way. But that wasn't what caused me to pull my hand away so quickly; the fact that when I touched her hand every voice inside my head disappeared…instantly.
I sat there staring at Bella, I didn't know what to say, how to feel, what to think. How on earth this girl made Edward fucking Cullen speechless again…is beyond me. She was magical.
"Do it again!" I urged her as I offered her my hand again. I could hear Jasper's voice, I think the boy was about to piss himself.
I watched her slowly take my hand again. She didn't hesitate so much this time. I didn't reach for her this time. Slowly she took her index finger and ran in down my palm. The second her soft warm skin touched mine…they were gone again, and a trail of fire crackers were left by her finger.
She looked amazed, like someone had just turned a light bulb on in her head. Her face lit up with a lightness I have never seen on anyone. Her smile was bright and free and honest. I marveled her very existence.
"Mr. Cullen," Banner broke me out of my Bella trance. She quickly pulled her hand away from mine, hiding them under the lab table. And everyone was back in my mind again. The sheer force of it made my head throb with a sharp pain. I looked up at Banner with pure animosity. "Miss. Swan, is everything alright?" Banner seemed confused, "the two of you have been staring at each other for the past five minutes without moving. Now you can ogle each other on your own time, on mine, you do your work." He turned and walked back to the front of the class.
"Did you feel that?! It's like sparks or electricity. And you were gone! I didn't hear you! Edward?"
"The new girl… he's ditching me for the new girl? She's a fucking freak… their both freaks."
"Go Eddie…I would have never guessed he went for the girl next door type. As long as it's not Alice…what does he call her…oh yeah pixie."
"Fuck you Cullen, I'm hittin' that shit."
I turned and looked at Mike who was looking at Bella with a blanket of lust covering his eyes. He then looked at me, in my stare I held all the hatred I had for people like him. One's who thought they owned everything. One's who think they deserve everything. Even Jasper who did apparently get everything he wanted, didn't act like a spoiled fucking brat. Even me, who was raised with money, came from a good family, had to earn my shit, that fucker was in for a rude awakening. I prayed he came to Jasper's party Saturday.
When I turned back to Bella she had her hand out ready for me to take. She was looking down, and her hand shook slightly.
"They were gone for me too. Yeah, I felt the sparks. Kinda like firecrackers popping inside where you touched me. I've never felt anything like it before."
"Come on…do it again!"
She never lifted her head, but I could feel how happy she was. Her inner voice practically screamed at me with such excitement. She held her palm up and I took my index finger and copied the motion she did to me. The pain in my head instantly vanished. She held a surprised look on her face when she looked up at me. I know why to, just my finger tip was burning; she was feeling the trail of sparks and electricity.
For the first time sense I started being able to read minds, I know wanted to read hers. I wanted to know what that smile meant, why she was blushing, why her legs were bouncing up and down.
I finally wrapped my other fingers with her hand and we began our assignment. My whole hand burned with her touch, sending tingles up my arm. We went slowly and didn't pay attention or try to beat each other in thumb war; we just ran our thumbs over each other's hand wherever they could reach.
The fucking bell rang too soon. I didn't want to let her go. She didn't either; she lifted her books with one hand, still holding my other. I copied her and we walked out of class not letting each other go.
As we walked she ran into four people because she wouldn't lift her head to see where she was going, or who was coming at her.
"Bella look up, you can't hear them coming so you can't move out of their way," I whispered in her ear. She took in a sharp breath and tensed up her shoulders. Then let out her breath and relaxed. If I didn't know better, I think she was aroused by it. I know I was forcing my dick in check.
She bashfully lifted her head to the crowded hall way and her hand gripped around me tightly. "It's alright, it's only people," I tried to ease her tension.
"I know, that's the problem." She let out an almost silent laugh. "Let's get lunch and I'll explain it to you." She followed me to my locker and I placed my books between my knees holding them there so I wouldn't have to let go of Bella. She was my cure. I opened my lock on the first try. I threw my books inside haphazardly and grabbed my so called lunch and walked Bella to her locker.
"This is so different," she barely whispered to me.
"You know, you really need to be more confidant; you have no reason to be so shy." I looked down at her; she looked over at me briefly before we headed around the corner. As we were turning the corner mother fucking death wish Newton ran right into her. She dropped her books and let go of my hand to retrieve them.
"That's right bend over so I can see down your shirt. Damn… nice and perky."
That's all it took. I knew she heard him too because she adjusted her shirt. I slammed him up against the locker and punched the fucking scumbag in the face. I felt his nose give out under my hard fist and blood began trickling out of his nose. I drew my fist back again and punched him in the gut causing him to keel over in pain.
"I told you, you fucking cuntwad. Next time maybe you'll listen," I turned to see Bella frozen on the floor in the middle of picking up a piece of paper. Newton didn't move and was catching his breath. Then my mysterious Bella did the cutest fucking thing ever.
She dropped her books, walked over to Newton and kicked him in the shins.
"Now that's confidence!" She laughed at her own doing. I agreed and laughed with her. I helped her gather her belonging and we reconnected hands without hesitation.
We made it to her locker exchanged her books for her lunch and headed to the auditorium. I hoped that skanky Jessica wouldn't show up here again today. I had my fill of that bitch already and it's only three and a half days into the school year.
"So why do you think we can't hear anything when we touch?" she asked me as she pick a piece of her sandwich off. I couldn't help but notice it was peanut butter again.
"I don't know. You've done this shit longer than me," I opened one pack of my Reese's cups.
"You curse too much, you know that." I looked over at her and she was picking off another bite, delicately placing it in her mouth. I unintentionally groaned at the sight of her tongue.
"So I've heard."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you curse so much?" I was beginning to think twice about getting her to open up. I mean I wanted to know things about her, not her know things about me. Double standards I know. Fucking bite me.
"I don't know to be honest with you." I took a bit of my goddess goodness that is a Reese's. She didn't say anything about my foul fucking mouth again.
She began to sing a song, one I didn't know. So I relaxed and cleared my mind the best I could. "What about you?" I asked a few minutes later interrupting her angelic singing.
"My voice is far from angelic, but I'm glad you're not deaf. And what about me?" she threw her trash in her bag and brought her feet up into the chair.
"Why do you think that freaky shit happens?"
"I have no clue either. It could be we a canceling each other out. Either way, I was glad to have that time without anyone in my head." I caught the double innuendo to that comment.
"Touché" I agreed and put my trash on the floor.
"You shouldn't do that. It's not hard to just place it in the trash can after we leave."
I picked up my shit and rolled my eyes at her. Go green environmentally friendly Bella was a bitch.
"I'm not a bitch. It's just respectful to put trash were it belongs. Besides I don't even recycle so HA!"
I smiled at her boldness and laughed because I finally heard her say an improper word. It wasn't as cute as kicking Newton…but close.
Lunch was over and I had to leave Bella. The moment our hands parted another headache pounded my head. I was relieved that no one came looking for me because of Newton. The teachers didn't seem to know about it, and considering I just got my mistress back, the last thing I needed was for Pappy to know I got detention or suspended for knocking the shit out of little prick Newton.
Fifth period was usually a breeze, but after having he peaceful silence earlier, I couldn't focus on anything but the constant attack on my brain. They were becoming louder and it took all my strength to not yell out in class. I sat with my hands gripped firmly in my hair, running my fingers over my scar. I closed my eyes and counted backwards, taking in deep breaths.
I debated on getting my schedule changed so that I could have every class with Bella and touch her so they would all go away. It could work; the secretary eyed me every morning on my way to talk to the cracker jack guidance counselor.
Finally, the bell rang and I stormed out to my car so I could rid myself of the headache. I wanted to leave, but because of my drunken genius idea, I had to also take Bella home. That part I didn't mind, being alone with her is quickly becoming my new favorite pass time. Well almost…jerking off is still my favorite. Now being alone with Bella and her jerking me off; now that's heaven.
That thought quickly went to other wonders; like how it would feel like to have the fiery sparks trail her touch down my back; if I would feel the sparks in my mouth from her tongue; if my dick would feel internally warm with the burning fire of Bella essence. Fuck I'll never be able to make fun of Jasper again.
*Tap tap*
I was startled out of my daydream when someone tapped softly on my window. I looked over to see Bella standing there getting wet from the rain that was still descending from the sky. I pushed the unlock button and she sat down in the passenger seat.
"I saw you leave, are you alright?"
Was I alright? Umm let me think…I can't get people out of my fucking head; which causes me to have massive migraines because people never shut the fuck up, nope not alright.
She put her head down and played with the bottom of her shirt. I went off on her for no fucking reason. "I'm sorry again." I thought to her. I don't think I've apologized this much to anyone other than Vikki and James.
"Who are they?"
I looked over at her. She still had her head down and her hair was blocking my view of her face. It slightly pissed me off that she was being so fucking nosy. It was the second time today she was pushing for information about me. Information I wasn't willing to tell to anyone, not even the pseudo shrinks. "Mind your own fucking business."
"Fine!" She looked up at me with angry eyes and opened the car door and ran back into the school. I started up the Volvo and drove out of the parking lot. I needed to be alone in my thoughts. I didn't need some fucking mysterious, beautiful, nosy ass inside my head too.
"FUCK!" I yelled out loud hitting the steering wheel of the Volvo. I spun the car around in the middle of the street and hauled ass back to the shit hole called school. I couldn't leave her like that. Why couldn't I just fucking drive away, let the nosy bitch find her own way home from school? Fucking Jiminy Cricket chirped in my head again. I'm gonna squash that fucking green bastard one day.
I whipped into a parking spot at the front of the school. The ones reserved for visitors. Fuck them, I needed to find Bella. As I was walking pass the office, the secretary came out and asked where I was coming from. I briefly answered by saying my car. I didn't know what class she had. It was now sixth period, and my somewhat chill buzz from the forest flask ditch period was slowing going away leaving me craving another smoke and another valium.
The halls were quiet aside from the lone person walking to the bathroom or office. It was, in so many words, fucking nice. I wondered the halls not knowing where to go, and not wanting to be caught by a teacher, so I instead hid in a bathroom stall drawling on a piece of paper. I never realized how tranquil a school bathroom could be. But sitting here on the shitter, I took notice.
As soon as the bell rang I flew out the bathroom; all the voice mumbled together and I couldn't bare the pressure in my head. I walked a few more steps and the pain overwhelmed me. It had always hurt switching from quietness into blaring voices. But never like this; never to the point that I felt confused and lost and to be completely honest, I was fucking scared. People were walking by me staring at me as I had my hands over my ears and my chin tucked into my chest. I closed my eyes when it started to look like people were warping into fisheye effect. I felt a layer of cold sweat break out on my forehead. My fingers clinched more tightly to my head as I forced them all to disappear.
Then I felt it…the burn…the sparks…the firecrackers…the cure. She had her tiny hand on my cheeks and they burned as silences engulfed my head. Her eyes were wide and scared; I can only imaging how terrified mine looked.
I pulled my hands away from my ears and threw them around Bella's tiny frame. I did it with out thinking. She quickly pulled her hands off my face, taking in a sharp breath and holding it. Before I knew it they all reappeared. I didn't understand. I looked up at her and she put her hands back on my cheeks…and they stopped…she took them off and they started…all the while I was still hugging her. She reached around her back and grabbed one of my hands, smiling at me timidly and she walked me to my last class of the day.
"I'm sorry again, I'm no good at this and you fucking terrify me," we waited in line to leave the parking lot of school. We held hands from the time I picked her from gym and we haven't let go since. Well once for us to get into the car but as soon as she closed her door, she had her hand waiting for me to take. I hoped she wouldn't mention my weird ass behavior earlier. I was really fucking embarrassed by that shit.
"I have a theory," she stated factually.
"Oh," that was my brilliant answer. Drunken Genius Edward could fucking do better than 'oh'.
"You know how I explain it as radio waves, well what if it's more like a combination of magnets and frequencies? You know how you can not put two negative or positive magnets together, well when we touch, we are forcing two magnets together, canceling each other out, and the sparks happens because the radiant energy from the frequencies combust." I looked at her in pure astonishment. As if it wasn't enough Bella is mysterious, beautiful, smells like tropical fruit, holds the cure in her touch, she had to go off and be fucking smart too. "What?" she asked when she caught me looking at her.
"Just enjoying the fact I can think about you and you can't hear me," I teased her. She blushed and looked down at her lap. "What's wrong? Why are you blushing?" I smiled at her, hoping my outbursts from earlier had been forgiven.
"You scare the fuck out of me too. But I already admitted that," she answered honestly. I couldn't hold it in…I had to laugh. She smiled at herself, which made me feel better about laughing.
"No fucking way Bella Swan, you keep that innocents and don't let me influence you language." I wasn't ready to taint that shit just yet. I wanted to bask in her innocents and beauty. I just knew if there was life after death, and we are surrounded by people, James is laughing his fucking ass off at me right now. "What are you doing this weekend?" Fuck me and my inability to keep shit in my head; most the time.
"Nothing, just going to finish a paper due for English and help Charlie rake leaves." She looked at me and bit her bottom lip. I swear to God if she didn't quit that shit…
"You should come with me to Jasper's party," we were finally out of the parking lot headed toward her house.
"I don't go to parties," she once again looked down as if she was ashamed. "I've never been invited to one."
"Not even birthday parties when you were a kid?" Surely she's exaggerating for the sake of not wanting to go. She lets out a stifled forced laugh and then shakes her head no. Now once again I was stuck looking like an asshole. "Well I am officially inviting you to the party then."
"I'm not sure that's such a great idea. There's going to be drinking I'm sure and possibly drugs, and I'm pretty sure the host wouldn't want the chief of police's daughter at that house." She made a good point, but that was a shit cop out.
I pulled up to her house and put the mistress in park. I'm gonna laid it out for her; "I'm picking you up Saturday at nine. Tell your dad that you are having a chick night in Port Angeles with Jessica Stanley, don't worry about the rest, I'll take care of it." I gave a wink with the panty melting smile, it caused her to blush, and that made my dick get a chub.
She placed one hand on the door and I squeezed her hand not willing to let her go. As soon as we broke hands, we were both singing to the song on the radio
"I'll be your guardian, when all is crumbling; steady your hand…"
I watched her walk to the door with her back pack over her shoulder, and some books hugged to her chest. I was about to make a deal with the devil, just to have more time with my cure.
BPOV
Thinking about how he looked today in the hall; scared out of his wits. I have never seen or heard such desperation coming from someone's mind. One of the oddest things about that moment; is I heard what he was hearing in his mind; instead of just hearing his thoughts. Like that was all he was thinking. I hesitated with what I should do, but then I heard him ask for someone to please make it go away. So I took in a deep breath and ignored the stares and critical comments, dropped my books at my feet and grabbed Edward's face.
I wanted so desperately at that moment to kiss him. To think of the unimaginable with him, because at this second; he couldn't hear how bad I wanted to see if his lips made mine tingle with burning pleasure.
On the drive to my house, the blissfulness that I offered him and he offered me was astounding. The thoughts that raced through my head while in his car, holding his hand, and him asking me to a party.
All through dinner the questions of the party and Edward plagued my thoughts. It even drowned out Charlie's mundane thinking of work and sports, until I turned him off. I played different scenarios in my head, all ending with my final conclusion; Edward is completely insane.
Or was I the one insane? I was actually contemplating on telling Charlie I had a "girl's night" planned with a girl who I didn't even know. I know 'who' she is. She the one who drools over Edward or Mike Newton, depending on who's in her eye sight at the time.
Now lying in my bed, I began to question Edward's motives. Did he want me there just to hold my hand so he could be somewhere and not hear anyone? Was it supposed to be a date?
I sat up from my bed shaking the random obnoxious thought out of my head. I went to my window and looked out at the black starless night. I felt like Fible and wanted to sing 'Somewhere Out There'. Instead I turned on my ancient computer and waiting for it to upload.
I rarely use it. Not because I don't want to be online, but because it just takes so long to load. I'm seriously going to have to hit Charlie up for a newer computer soon. I waited impatiently and finally the main web browser filled my room with light. I wasn't sure why I wanted to do this, but for some unbeknownst reason, Edward was constantly on my mind.
I went to the top and typed in Edward Cullen, New York; then pressed enter. I waited once again impatiently for the results to glow on the screen. Finally after using the restroom, pulling my hair back in a clip, the results slowly loaded. The first ten links where about some one else named Edward Mason Cullen, then I saw a link to a new channel that had the names Edward Cullen, James Rhoads, and Victoria McKean. I quickly clicked on the link and bounced my foot up and down with anticipation. I knew this was about him.
Suddenly I felt like a creep. I felt like I was invading his privacy by using Google to learn more about Edward. Before I had a chance to exit, the page was finished loading and the headline stared at me in the face: "Accident on Highway 27 Leaves Seventeen Year Old Dead and Two Critically Injured". This is it; this is what happen to his best friend and a girl whom I assume was or is his girlfriend.
This was so wrong for so many different reasons, yet that old saying about the curious cat, well I never realized it before but, I'm somewhat nosy. I blame it on all the years of knowing everyone's thoughts and not having to be nosy without being nosy. With Edward, he knew how to keep secrets from me. That brought out the nosy girl I didn't realize I was.
I took in a deep breath of courage, wiped my sweaty palms on my pajama bottoms and scrolled down and began to read the news report.
"Friday, June 20, Edward Anthony Cullen was celebrating his seventeenth birthday when it came to a tragic end. The teen had been drinking when he fell asleep in Highway 27 just west of Robert Moses Causeway. Passenger James Davis Rhoads was killed instantly when thrown from the vehicle. Paramedics pronounced him dead on arrival.
Victoria Ann McKean was transported to Southside Hospital in Bay Shore with spinal injuries. Doctors say a full recovery is grim.
Edward Anthony Cullen, son of renounced Dr. Carlisle Cullen was flown to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital; where he is now recovering from cranial surgery. We talked to Dr. Ryang M.D who preformed Cullen's surgery says, "Mr. Cullen is expected to make a healthy recovery. However, we are not sure to what extent his brain my have been damaged."
I couldn't read anymore. My heart ached for him. I wanted to hold him and allow him to feel the fire of our touch. I wanted to make it all go away for him. I didn't bother logging off; I simply pushed the power button on the tower and wished I hadn't read the news report. I forced my feet to carry me back to my bed. I curled up in a ball, bringing my knees to my chest. I hugged my pillow tight and I cried for him. I cried for his pain, his guilt and his loss. I cried because that is what caused him to be like me. I cried because had it not been for that horrific accident, I would never have had the opportunity to meet him. I cried because his birthday would forever be a day of mourning, instead of celebration.
~*~
I woke Saturday morning relieved that I've been able to keep the fact that I Googled Edward a secret. Friday, Edward picked me up for school and I sang until we connected. Then I was free for the ten minute drive to school. Being in school; it was easy to keep it from him; I simply kept my head focused on school, or obsessing over the party that was now today.
I didn't know the details Edward had worked out; but I did know was it involved Jessica and him this weekend. The thoughts that raked through her narrow mind the rest of the week; made bile from my empty stomach burn my esophagus.
I still hadn't asked Charlie about tonight; I still wasn't sure I wanted to go. Not only so I didn't have to be near people, but so I could relinquish Edward from his commitment he made with Jessica. Honestly, the thought of them two alone made my skin feel like cockroaches were crawling over me. I suppose it was a combination of jealously and envy; either way the dirty feeling was still there.
Perhaps some of it was guilt too.
I sat up in bed breathing erratically. I already felt the bubble of anxiousness boiling in my chest threatening to explode. As quickly as I could without falling on my face, I went down stairs to the kitchen to see Charlie was still home. I ignored his look, and filled a glass with some water and grabbed my pills that sat in the spice cabinet.
"Christ another panic attack." I heard his chair squeal on the hardwood floor.
"Bella lets go see Dr. Cullen again," he placed his hand on my back; patting it awkwardly in a form of comfort. I shook my head no, and took in a deep breath.
"This child is as stubborn as her mother. I wonder if I should call Renee? Maybe she could help me."
I continued to shake my head no; answering his mental question. Gladly he thought I was still saying no to a trip to the ER. "I'm fine," I managed to tell him. I inhaled deeply clearing the clouded haze from my head and turned his switch off.
I blame the minute attacks on being here for only a week, and with in that week I have been mentally sexually assaulted by a classmate (on a daily basis), put down (on a daily basis), in the hospital, kicked someone (I rather enjoyed that), touched someone and felt it (mental note: touch Edward as much as possible), and found silence.
I think it's fair to be somewhat on edge.
Charlie still gawked at me like I was about to spew or like I had three heads. I gave him a confused look, still with the glass of water in hand, "what?" I asked him.
"Sorry, nothing just wanted to be sure you're okay. The last thing I need it your mother on my tail," he sat back down and took a sip from his coffee. He snapped the newspaper open and continued to read the sports section. Which I found somewhat pointless, considering he fell asleep on the couch last night watching some sort of sports news network.
"Oh Bells, Billy and I are going night fishing today, so don't worry about fixing diner, I'll give you a few bucks and get yourself some take out and relax." He folded his paper and refilled his coffee.
"Um Dad…" I noticed it was the first time I referred to him as dad to his face since being here. Go figure I used at the moment I was about to lie to him, and was going to need to butter him up. "I got invited to Port Angeles tonight with some girls at school; I wanted to know if it would be alright if I went tonight?" I bit my bottom lip and hesitantly looked at him through my eyelashes.
He looked floored. He sat there with the paper in his hand halfway unfolded and his mouth ajar. He raised his eyebrow at me and nodded in agreement, "Of course, I'll give you my card. Just don't spend too much okay."
I smiled at him and I could feel he lightness on my shoulders and the warm feeling inside my chest. "Thanks!" He looked back at his paper with a smirk on his face. I could tell by his face he was happy I wasn't being a hermit; I didn't need to read his mind to read his face.
I went back upstairs to change for the day. I still had to rake the leaves and bag them. Outside I listened to my Ipod and sang along with most the songs. I found this didn't occupy my mind as much as I wanted it too. With each pull of the leaves I debated on not going to the party; I came up with excuse after excuse. I came up with everything from doing homework that I had already done, cleaning that was already done, and I couldn't even use my stupid period as an excuse, because that wasn't due for another seven days; which just so happens to be my eighteenth birthday.
I was bending over bagging up the leaves, moving my body to the beat of the song, when I felt someone tap me one the shoulder. I screamed out of fear as I spun around to see Edward laughing at me. I pulled my ear plugs and my face was warm with embarrassment.
"You stupid ass, you scared me!"
He stared to gain his composure when he heard me yell at him. I dropped the rake that I wanted to rake over his head with (yes pun intended), and held out my hand waiting for him to take it.
"Your dad is here right?"
"Yes, why?"
"I don't want him to come out with a loaded pistol and knock me off."
I looked at him oddly.
"You screamed bloody murder and here I am a stranger talking to his only daughter… and here he comes…"
I looked over at the door to see Charlie flying out the screen door onto the porch.
"Bella what happen? Who are you!" he stalked over to Edward.
"Dad this is Edward Cullen, Edward this is my dad," Edward looked scared. His face was a pale white and his eyes about bugged out of this face.
"Cullen. You're Dr. Cullen's boy?" Edward smirked devilishly and reached his hand out toward Charlie.
"The one and only," he answered "nice to meet you Mr. Swan. I was just driving by and saw Bella and wanted to ask her about our biology project we are partnered for."
"Watch the perfection known as Edward fucking Cullen. Take fucking notes too."
I let out a small laugh and Charlie shook Edward's hand.
"Oh, well when I heard Bella scream, I though something happen." He looked over at my way.
"I just didn't hear him come up, I was jamming to Firehouse." I answered him honestly.
"Anyway, nice to meet you Edward," Charlie turned and walked back up the stairs and into the house. I noticed he left the front door open and when in the kitchen he opened the curtain to the window over the sink.
"So that's Chief Swan huh, I pictured someone larger, like Arnold," he said in a horrible impersonation of Arnold Schwarzenegger. "He's more like Charlie Baileygates. Are you sure he's not gonna break out with advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage?" I laughed at his little joke, because honestly Charlie did look like Charlie.
"I think you're safe," I looked down at the pile of leaves "I better get back to work if I'm going to finish in time to go to this stupid party with you," I looked up at him. He was smiling and genuine smile.
He held out his hand to shake mine. As soon as we connected I felt the fire, around and in between my fingers. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to enjoy this small insignificant moment of pleasure.
"I can't wait. This is going to be a night to remember, I promise."
"Bye Edward."
EPOV
I drove off from Bella's grinning like a fucking idiot. I made the phone call I'd been dreading to make all day.
"Hello," her screeching voice answered. I breathed in deeply reminding myself this was for Bella.
"Hey, it's Edward," I finally answered.
"Oh hey! I've been waiting for you to call sense yesterday." I pinched the bridge of my nose while being stopped at a red light. "So it's a deal then right?"
"Yep and I swear to you, this stays between us. I'll fucking deny it till the day I die if I am confronted about it." I grounded my teeth together praying she understood from the tone of my voice I was serious.
"You should be more grateful. I'm doing you the favor really. And don't worry, I can keep a secret."
"How do I get there?" I rolled my eyes and gripped the steering wheel tightly. She gave me directions to her house and I drove there very, very slowly.
I honked my horn alerting her I was there. No fucking way was I going to attempt to be some sort of civilized gentlemen to this…apparent slut.
"It's for Bella…It's for Bella…"
I repeated the mantra as Jessica practically skipped to the car. She waited outside her door like I was going to get out and open for her. I rolled my eyes and leaned over and opened it from the inside.
"It's better than nothing. I can't believe this is happening. I knew I'd get him."
She closed the door and settled into the seat. I loathed the idea of her sitting there. She's fucking contaminating Bella tropical scent with some musky perfume that smells similar to the hookers back in New York.
"Where to?" I asked in a bored tone, as I pulled away from her house.
"Take a left then take the second right, you'll dead end into the park." She fidgeted with her hair and turned the radio station.
"Let me make this clear, we are not together. We are not friends with benefits. We aren't even fuck buddies. This is a one time deal and it is to never be spoken of." I looked at her dead in the eyes. She looked down and I noticed her self confidence got knocked down a few pegs. I then turned the station back to what it was before. I hadn't touched it since Bella put that station on yesterday after school.
"Fuck he didn't have to be so fucking rude. Maybe I will blab my mouth to Angela. No, I'll tell Lauren, that girl can spread a rumor like crabs. Come to think of it I think it was her who started that round of crabs last year."
I put the car in park and waited for her to make a move. She unbuckled her belt and started climbing in the back.
"No, I'm not fucking in the car." I reached in the back seat grabbing a back pack and exited the car waiting for her to follow me.
We walked down a narrow trail and found an open spot off the trail and pulled a large towel out of the bag. I laid it out and Jessica made herself comfortable. I looked down at her in disgust. "If you want me, you're gonna have to get me hard," I stated simply with no show of enthusiasm. I pulled out a condom from my pocket and threw it onto the towel.
Jessica stood up on her knees and used her finger to call me towards her. She was attempting to be seductive but was failing miserably. But it's what I came to do so…
She managed to get my pants to my knees and my dick was still limp. She ran her hand up my legs and placed my dick in her mouth. She twirled her tongue around my shaft as I started to get chubby in her mouth. Not that is was fucking amazing, but wet plus warm equals a hard Mr. Poon; regardless of whom is giving me head.
"Take your pants off," I ordered Jessica and she pulled her head away from my now hard cock. She laid there half naked on the towel and I knelt down between her legs looking off in the distance so I didn't look at her face.
"Aren't you going to kiss me?" she asked as I rolled the condom over my cock.
"No," I placed the head of my dick at entrance of her not so wet pussy and was thankful for the small amount of lube on the condom.
"I don't care then. I'll take what I can get for now. One day he'll forget all about the dip shit Isabella. Fucking freak."
Sheer anger was behind the push that forced me into her, hard. My dick hardened slightly against my will, at the warmth of her. She let out a soft moan and snaked her hands around my waist.
"Oh wow…I should go to kiss him."
I forced myself into her hard and relentless again.
"Umm yeah…Oh I'm going to marry this man."
I had to close my eyes so I could just get off and get out.
"Ok I'm kissing him."
She ran her fingers over my back up to my hair. I moved my head away and shoved my dick back into her hard.
"I'm not here for that shit," I said, to her pulling out and pushing back in. "You can moan, you can arch your back, you can get yourself off, you can ride Mr. Poon, you can not touch my fucking hair." I stopped and looked at her face.
I had to think about anything but what I was doing, yet concentrate on fucking Jessica just so I could get off, take her home, and go fucking shower for an hour. Meanwhile her thoughts concisted of different positions and wondered to a fucking wedding. Who the hell thinks about weddings the first time you fuck someone? Knowing it's just that…a one time fuck?
I finally felt the urge deep inside my stomach and I pulled out and jerked myself off until I blew a load in the condom. I wasn't taking any chances.
I got dressed and she used the towel to clean herself. She handed me the towel and I just opened the backpack and she placed it inside. I wasn't touching that shit.
She contemplated on how she was going to get me to fuck her again as I drove 60 mph back to her house in silence. As she was opening her door, I started to feel a morsel of guilt.
"Thanks," I said as she stepped out. She smiled awkwardly at me and said "you're welcome." She closed the door and I pealed out as I press the accelerator to the floor and high tailed it home.
I went straight to the laundry room unzipping the backpack and shaking the towel into the washing machine and throwing the backpack inside with it. Up stairs I started the shower and stripped out of my clothes throwing them on my bathroom floor. I didn't even want them to touch my other shit. I was debating on burning them, or just washing them three of four times.
I washed my body twice…my goods a few extra, and just stood there letting the water run down my back, knowing what I just did was about immoral as fucking your sister.
"Edward honey, you have a phone call," my mom knocked on the bathroom door.
"Thanks," I turned off the water wrapping myself in a towel. I opened the door slightly and reached my hand out for the phone.
"Hello?" I held the phone with my shoulder and attempted to dry my hair off without dropping the phone.
"Um it's Bella," I dropped the phone and quickly recovered it.
"Hey, I wasn't expecting you to call," beads of sweat began to form on my head. Fuck I'm fucking…fucking fucked! I mentally berated myself.
"I wanted to tell you that I was going to drive myself to the party but I don't know where it is." I have never been so relieved.
"I'll meet you at the school, Jasper lives right around there."
"Okay, see you at nine," and she hung up the phone without saying goodbye - again.
Shortly after, I got called to dinner by my favorite person in this house; pappy. Just the sound of him knocking on my door was condescending.
"So why are you dressed like you're going out?" Carlisle looked up at me over his fork full of pork chop.
"I had plans with a couple of guys from school to go to Port Angeles for a movie," I never looked up at him as I chewed on some green beans.
"Oh Christ, here we go again. Carlisle needs to ease up on him a little."
"You'll be leaving this house over my dead body."
"I don't think that's such a good idea, Edward." I dropped my fork on to the plate and looked over to Esme for some help. I gave her the best 'but mom' look I had.
"Carlisle, I think you're over reacting, it's just a movie." She looked at him sternly. That look always fucking worked on her.
"Fuck, I know he thinks I am just being a hard ass because of what happen, but I don't want anything to happen to him. He's my only son."
"Dad look," I spoke up to him, "Am I going to be on your shit list for the rest of my life because I made one…one mistake? I have a 3.7 GPA that has never fallen, I'm not on illegal drugs, and I haven't gotten some chick knocked up, I made a mistake. I was drinking and I made a fucking bad decision I get it, but please can you let it go?"
"NO, I will not just let it go Edward; you killed someone because of that…"
"Enough!" Esme slammed her hands on the table causing all our dishes to clank. Standing up from her seat she looks at Carlisle, "Carlisle it's time to let it go. He doesn't need to be reminded of what happen. I'm pretty sure he lives with the guilt everyday. And Edward, you need to start acting like you want your father to forgive you instead of walking in going straight to your room and locking us out of you life." She sits back down and replaces her napkin on her lap and takes a sip of her red wine.
"Can I be excused?" I mumbled to Carlisle through clinched teeth.
"Yes you may, and be home by midnight," Esme looked up at me without a smile. "You fuck up Edward; I will not stand up for you again." I looked at my mom dumb founded. I had never heard her curse out loud. It sent fear straight to my bones.
"Thank you mom," I stood and scrapped my plate into the trash, rinsed it off. I ran to my room, grabbed my cell and a jacket and ran out to the Volvo before Pappy could disconnect the battery.
It was early but I didn't care. I'll drive around this shit town for two hours until I had to meet Bella. I was seething at Carlisle. I was seething at Esme. But mostly I was seething at myself.
There was only one person who could help me, one person who I wanted to talk to. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number, praying she'd answer.
"Eddie!" her voice rang threw the phone and I instantly felt home sick.
"Hey Vikki," already I felt calmer, "sorry I'm calling late but I need someone to talk me off my fucking clock tower." I attempted to laugh, but it came out more like a scoff.
"Carlisle?" God she knew me well, "you should know by now to ignore that shit head. I don't have to tell you again, what happen Edward, was not your fault." I didn't understand how she was so forgiving.
"Vikki, can I ask you something?" I avoided this question for the past two months. "Do you blame me for killing James?" I took in a deep breath preparing myself for the wave of nauseating guilt.
"I blame everyone Edward," fuck I knew it. She lost far more then me. She lost her lover and best friend. She lost her dreams of going to the Olympics and racing. She lost her scholarships for track, she lost an entire life she had planned; all because of me. "Not just you, but myself and James. I blame Laurent for throwing the party and his stupid cousin who brought us all the alcohol. I blame the paramedics for not getting their sooner, it's not just you Eddie, and you need to not carry that around anymore." I was crying now. I hadn't realized it but I was driving on Bella's street.
"I'm sorry," I cried to her. I found myself parked in front of Bella's house with my face in my hands crying like a mother fucking pathetic baby. "Forgive me please, Vikki. I need to hear you say you forgive me."
"I can't do that yet. I love you Eddie I do. You are the closest thing to a brother I have, but I'm still angry about it all. I haven't forgiven myself. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry you have an asshole for a father, I'm sorry they took you across the country and I don't have you anymore. I'm sorry I didn't talk you out of driving. But I'm not ready to forgive, I hope you understand." She was crying with me now. Her sobs and her words sent the dull pain in my chest into a feeling of my insides tearing at the seams.
"I understand, umm… I have to go." I hung up the phone and stared at Bella's house. I took in deep long breaths to stop my baby blubbering. Charlie's cruiser was gone and a single light lit up a room upstairs. Just as the silhouette of a petite girl, that could only be Bella, appeared in front of the curtained window, I realized then, that I couldn't let her come.
I watched as the silhouette of Bella took off her shirt and put her hair up in twist clipping it up. I watched her walk out of sight and my dick was already hard. She was a teasing vixen and she didn't even know it. I adjusted myself because the angle king cock was growing in hurt like a bitch. Pervert, I spoke out loud to my cock.
I needed to go talk to her now before she gets ready. I looked at myself in the rear view mirror and I looked like hell. Fuck it; I couldn't hide this from her even if I tried. I waltzed up to her door and rang the bell.
She opened the door slightly, "Edward?"
"Please…" was all I thought as I held out my hand for her. I didn't want her to read me I wanted to tell her the not so truth about me not going to the party. She instantly opened the door all the way and took my hand in hers. She pulled me inside and guided me upstairs.
She didn't speak as we sat on her bed. She just waited patiently looking down until I was ready. I was thankful she wasn't being nosy like earlier.
"I'm not going to the party," I stated simply. I was hoping I wouldn't have to elaborate on the reasoning. The look on her face was stoic. Not surprised or hurt by what I had just said.
"I understand," she said, as she took in a deep breath. "No biggie, I'll just see you Monday at Bio." She shrugged her shoulders and it dawned on me what she was thinking.
"Bella," I used my free hand to pull her chin up forcing her to look at me. I wondered what the sensation felt like on her face, as her eyes met mine. "It's nothing to do with you really." I looked downing knowing it was all about her. Maybe I should just tell her.
The look in her soft brown eyes made my heart thump against my chest. She pulled her lips in her mouth, running her tongue over them, leaving the bottom one between her teeth a bit longer. She really was clueless on how seductive she was. Or maybe I was just a teenager with to many fucking hormones.
My lips ached to feel hers. I ran my thumb over her lips watching them as they parted slightly at my touch. Her eyes were closed and I had a sudden urge to break all contact just to hear what she was thinking. I leaned forward slowly, not wanting to take advantage of her, but wanting desperately to know what she tasted like.
Then I did it. I softly pressed my lips to hers. The contact sent my lips on fire as little firecrackers shot off in every nerve. I moved my hand up and cupped the side of her head, running my fingers in her chestnut brown hair. My heart raced wildly as she parted her lips just the tiniest bit allowing my bottom lip to slide between hers. I went to deepen our kiss. I ran my tongue over her top lip then…nothing. The sparks were gone, the heat was gone…my cure was gone.