I first met Toby because of Sherlock. They were working on a case and after having solved it went out for drinks. Sherlock called me to meet them. Sherlock had already told me about Toby. He really enjoyed working with him and respected him greatly. That night though Sherlock regretted introducing us. Toby and I hit it off immediately. But he was married and I was not about to become the other woman. Both mine and Sherlock's father's cheated on our mothers. This was not something that I would ever do. So I reserved myself that Toby and I would be good friends. And we were that, we talked at least once a week. When he came back to London we always spent a day or two hanging out. It was always very platonic except with the hands. We would hold hands sometimes or I would lean into Toby for too long. He always had his hand on my back and would guide me places. About a year after we met, I came to New York for a visit. Toby told me that he and Kate had separated. He swore that it wasn't because of me but I can't help but feel that he was lying. I helped Toby look for apartments. We talked about how Rebecca was handling it. We talked about how Toby was doing.

Kate and Toby had grown up together. High school sweethearts. She worked in publishing and he became a cop. She never really liked being a cops wife, but they stayed together because that was what you did. When he came to London for the first time, both had decided that it was a good idea. They had needed a break from each other. During that time, she had cheated on him with some writer she was working with. And he had met me. When he got back they worked at it again, but it just wasn't there anymore. They had originally agreed to stay together until Rebecca went to college. But Toby decided that they were just being stubborn and he was tired of living in limbo. They fought a lot about me. Kate didn't believe that nothing had happened. Toby didn't understand why she cared, since he had found out that the writer had not been the first man she had cheated on him with. So he asked for a divorce and had me help him find a new apartment. Which he still lived at, I discovered as we pulled up to the building.

Toby grabbed my bags and with his hand on my back walked me in. It was this pretty pre-war building in Chelsea. 2 bedrooms and lots of windows. I had helped with the down-payment because of all his money was tied up with the divorce. Technically, I guess you could say I owned part of the apartment. Walking into it was like walking down memories past. I always loved the feeling it gave. To me it was always home. The living room had all of these built in bookshelves and he had a tv and stereo system on another wall. It didn't look like a classic bachelor pad. I had helped him pick out furniture for it and helped with the decorating. He hadn't changed much. He opened the door to the master bedroom and Brady came jumping out.

We had gotten Brady when the divorce was finalized. I didn't want him to be alone so i convinced him he needed a dog. We were walking around Union Square one day and this pet adoption place was up. Brady came straight up to Toby and sat down in front of him. He feel in love instantly with Toby and we had to take him home. Brady now was being petted by Toby and he was asking if he was a good dog. Then Brady sees me and starts to growl a bit. "Its Annie, silly boy." Brady looks at me and then Toby then runs up to me and starts jumping and licking me. He does his little dance, causing me to smile. Toby puts my things in the guest room.

"He missed you."

"I missed him." Brady follows me into the guest room and jumps on the bed. "He looks good."

"Yep, older but doing well. He still sleeps with that old sweatshirt that you gave him the last time you left."

We stood there for a while in silence. The last time I left, I was supposed to be coming back in a month. That was when we were supposed to starting our life together. I don't really know how to mend this, we both don't know what to do know that we are here together. I decide that I need to break the silence and do something. "I probably should take a shower." Toby grabs me some towels and I head into the bathroom. I turn on the water. Hot, I need hot water right now. I am still feeling like I am in the middle of a dream/nightmare. The water feels good on my skin. I like to feel it burn like I can burn everything off. The last time I had been here was when we decided to move in together. I had flown back to get everything settled. We hadn't talked about marriage at all. When I got home and unpacked my suitcase, there was a ring box on the top with a note to call him. He asked me to marry him over the phone. He joked this way if I said no I didn't have to see his face. I didn't say no though.

I get out of the shower and look at myself in the mirror. The skin is older a few more lines on my face. The tattooes on my arms are new to him. The one on my back is not. I walk out in a towel and he is sitting at the counter with a whiskey in hand. He has another glass for me.

"I don't drink anymore." I state. He looks at me curiously. "Sherlock introduced me to his vice and it helped send me down the rabbit hole a bit. Made me forget. Until one day, until Irene died and I didn't want to forget anymore, so I stopped."

He drinks his quickly and then moves on to the one he had for me. He pulls me close to him. "How is Rebecca?"

"Good, she is in college now. Northwestern." He smiles.

"Chicago, what is she studying?"

"Pre-law. My daughter wants to be a lawyer. Get innocent people out of jail."

"And Kate."

"She is remarried."

"Do you like him?"

"He is good for her. A writer."

"And you are seeing anyone?"

"I have seen a couple of women but nothing seems to be fit." He goes back to nursing his drink.

"You."

"No." His hand is on my waist.

"Have you slept with anyone since?"

"Yes." He winces slightly. The idea of me with another man is not something he wanted to think about. But this is where I have to be honest with him. I need to stop lying and evading. "One this year and the other one years ago."

"Were you okay with it?"

"The one this year, I was pretty numb. And the other one hurt."

"Sherlock?" He asks.

"Yeah" There you go I said it. Sherlock and I had sex, it was one of Toby's biggest fears. The ironic thing was Sherlock's reasons weren't because really lustful, he thought maybe he could help. The deductionist in him said that if I could forget the last time and take the feeling away then maybe it will help me to heal. It didn't, instead it just made us both feel awkard around each other. "We were both high and he thought it would make me feel better. But it didn't. It hurt and it was awkward after."

"Hmm."

"I never really liked sex, you know. Never really got the whole thing. It was always just a thing to do. That was until I met you. When we had sex, I got it, you know. It made me feel good and loved. Glenn Reads took that away from me. He made it dirty again, an act that you must do every once in awhile." Toby is watching me as I say this. "I loved feeling you in me and watching you love me. I understood why it was holy." I put my hand on his check and kiss his lips. I can taste the whiskey. He is hesitant, not sure if we should do this. I stop kissing after a while and drop my towel. I am standing naked before him. He sighs a little.

"You okay with this. Because we don't have to." He puts both of his hands on my waist is stroking my skin with his thumbs.

"I need to do this. I need you. I want to know that he hasn't taken everything away from me." Toby gets off the bench and leads me to his room. He closes the door so Brady won't come in. The lights are out. He kisses my neck and the night begins.

I wake up in the morning feeling satisfied, comfortable, loved and a little sore. I reach over the bed and feel that Toby is gone. The door is shut and the curtains are drawn. I hear voices in the living room and the smell of coffee. I get up and realize that I need pants. I grab one of Toby's shirts. No underwear, right. I hear an argument and recognize Sherlock and Bell's voice. Okay so I need a plan, I can go out there with only a shirt on which would be awkward. I go through Toby's drawers and find some boxer shorts. Way too big for me. I decide that I will just have to ask for help or be brave enough to go out there. I decide the asking is the best choice. I poke my head out the door. We have a full house, Joan, Sherlock, and Bell. Toby is holding a manila envelope in his hands and it looks like he is going through pictures. There is a vase of flowers on the table. Those were not there yesterday. The concern on everyone's face causes me to forget my lack of undergarments. I walk out and up to Toby with the pictures. He flips them over so I can't see.

"Good morning." He smiles and kisses my head. "Do you want some coffee?"

"What were you looking at?"

"Nothing."

"Pictures of you and Captain Gregson last night. Somebody delivered them this morning along with those flowers. Good morning Annie. You do know that you are not wearing underwear." Joan smacks Sherlock and Bell and Toby both give him a wtf look.

"What do you mean pictures of me and Toby?' I grab the envelope out of Toby's hands. The pictures are of us in the bedroom last night. It was taken with night vision lenses so even though it was dark, you could see everything. I mean everything, somebody was watching and wanted me to know they were watching. I look over at the flowers – they are tulips, I love tulips. My favorite thing to do as a kid was to go to the tulip festival in Michigan. My dad and I would go every year. Somebody was watching me. I can't speak. Toby puts his hand on my back and walks me to the bedroom. He closes the door behind us.

"He was watching last night and wanted you to know that he was." My back is towards him. I look back at the pictures. They were so detailed, so erotic. Last night had been therapeutic for me, good. For the first time in a long time, I felt normal, I felt loved. And now I feel dirty again. I can't do or say anything. Toby takes the envelope out of my hands and comes around in front of me. He sits on the bed so that I can stand between his knees. He holds onto my waist.

"He wanted to make you feel dirty again. Wanted to make you feel like what you did was wrong. Don't let him have that control. Last night was not wrong or dirty and you were allowed to have it. Sherlock thinks he is getting angry because he has lost his power over you. The more angry he gets, the greater the chance he will slip up."

"He was watching us."

"I know."

"How did he know where I was? How did he know I would come here?"

"My bet is he has been planning this for a while. He knew where I lived and probably rented an apartment across the street. He has been following you and knew that you probably stay wouldn't stay in the hotel after we found the bodies. He knew you would come home with me."

"How would he know that I would come home with you and not Sherlock?"

"You said he knew you, right, that he knew things about us that he couldn't have possibly known. He knew you would feel guilty about how we ended it and would want to appease me. Let me be in control for a bit. He probably knew that is how you always handled our arguments. He knew I tried to take control and that you wouldn't fight me on it."

"And he knew you would be feeling guilty for what had happened that you would want to assert your alpha-male qualities and take me home."

He smiled at me. "Is that what it is? I always just thought it was caring."

"But your definition of caring is protecting, that is you. Plus add a little bit of jealousy in there."

He starts to rub my stomach with his hands and then finally puts his head on my stomach hugging my torso. I bend over and incase his head with the rest of my body. "He knows you too well. He knows that if he pushes just hard enough you might just break."

I look at the pictures on the bed. This is what he has done to me. Taken five years of my life, what could have been. I should have had babies by now and be getting up in the morning to make breakfast for my husband. I should be staying awake at night waiting for him to get home. I am still in love with this man in front of men, I always have been. But I let Glenn Reads take him away from me.

"I am not going to break though this time. I am not going to let him do that to me. These pictures, yes they are embarrassing and no I don't want someone watching us. But he can't take it away from me again. Last night was mine, you are mine. He is not going to win." Toby picks his head up and looks at me. I straddle him and start kissing his neck. "You are mine." I whisper as I nibble on his ear. I can feel him smile.

"While I really want to continue down this path, you forget that we have guests outside this door and they already know a little too much about us already." Toby says as he pulls away from me.

"Oh god the pictures, they all saw the pictures didn't they?" I bury my head in his shoulder

"Yes."

"How did you find them?"

"I didn't. Sherlock did. He came by this morning to check on you and they were on the stoop to the apartment building."

"Oh god, so he saw them."

"Yep and immediately called Bell and then came up to the apartment. There is now two police outside of the building for protection and we are about to send the pictures in for analysis of where they were taken. "

"Oh god."

"Yes, oh god. My entire precinct will probably be seeing me having sex with a very gorgeous although much younger woman, if I am not careful."

I pick up one of the pictures and take a look at our faces. "At least, they will know you are still virile."

With that Toby twists me around so I am lying on the bed and he is on top of me. "We will get him and this will be over."

"Okay."

"Last night though, forgetting all of this morning, last night was good, right." He is watching me, studying my reaction.

"Last night was very good."

"Okay then, let's get this day started. We both need to take showers and you will be coming in with me to the office."

"I need to go to the studio." The whole reason I am here is for the studio.

"Not now, you need to stay with one of us at all times. Can you make the arrangements with your people?"

I close my eyes, damn it. "Yeah, I think given the circumstances I can move some things around. But I will need to get some work done at your office."

"That is fine, you can use my office."

"Okay then let's get started." I try to wiggle a little but realize that Toby is not moving on top of me very quickly. "In order for us to get started, you will have to get off of me."

He smiles. "I really missed you." He kisses me and I lose myself again. The next thing I know Toby is in me and we have completely forgotten about the audience behind the doors. We are completely silent and just stare at each other. I forgot how good it was to come and much I loved the feeling of being totally loved. When I start to come, Toby grabs my lips with his and we breath into each other. Both trying our best to be silent. "You are mine." He says as he slips out of me.

"And you are not alpha male at all." I smile when he gets off. He pulls me and flattens down my hair. I do the same with him.

'Okay, so I will direct them to go and we will get ready for the office. How do I look?"

"Good." Toby gives me a knowing that is not what I meant look. "Oh, you mean will they be able to tell that you just fucked me?" I smile.

"Annie."

"Sherlock will, you know that. Now the question is whether or not he is going to be tactful about it, that should be your concern. He wasn't tactful about my lack of underwear and you seem to forget that he has a lot of alpha male in him too."

"This is not going to be good." He opens the door and tells them our plan. I hear Joan and Toby together yell 'Sherlock.' I am to assume that he was not tactful.