Written For: Stages of Love. Theme: Five Stages of a Relationship - Touch.
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A Bene Placito – Chapter IV: Renji
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The manacles felt tight against Renji's wrists, but he could not resist tugging at them. Renji's awareness of his vulnerability quickened his pulse. Though Byakuya's fingers had been gentle when cuffing Renji to the bed, every muscle in Renji's body was as taut as a high wire. He kept waiting for the pain he expected Byakuya to inflict on him.
Byakuya removed the collar from Renji's throat. He was still fully dressed, which made Renji all the more aware of his nudity, but at least he did not carry any instruments of torture. As Byakuya's gaze raked over his body, Renji's face heated. Nothing in Byakuya's face revealed any interest—he could have been reading a particularly boring note from Yamamoto for all that he expressed.
Byakuya's touch was so light at first that Renji thought it a shift of air. As the pressure increased, he became keenly aware that Byakuya's fingers traced his stomach tattoos.
"Captain—?"
"No talking."
Renji bit back a retort and grunted. Byakuya's fingers trailed lower and circled his navel. The electric heat of his touch soon distracted Renji from his irritation. Renji's world narrowed to Byakuya's fingers, to the slight rake of a nail as Byakuya's fingers ran down his abdomen towards his pubic hair.
Though arousal was the point, Renji's reaction shamed him. He hardened, his body betraying him as it had the night before, when Byakuya had lifted him to his feet. His want was visible for Byakuya to see, to use against him. Renji drew up his legs to hide it, though he knew it would do no good. The center of his world had relocated to his groin.
Byakuya gaze wandered up to Renji's face as his fingers finally cupped Renji's center. His eyes grew as sharp as his zanpakutō, and his fingers as deft as a surgeon's as he stroked Renji. A moan bubbled out of Renji's mouth, and he thrust up into Byakuya's warm hand. He had never wanted anyone to touch him as much as he did Byakuya. For a moment, Renji knew nothing but Byakuya. Pleasure rocketed through him, and Renji cried out.
Silence. Renji sagged back against the bed, his wrists aching, though he did not recall straining against his bonds. He was all too aware how quickly he had come. Byakuya licked his fingers, making Renji wish he could come all over again.
"Have you ever had sex before?" Byakuya asked, still staring at Renji.
Renji scowled and hoped the tangle of his long hair covered his blush. "Yes, of course."
"Really."
"There were a few girls. From Rukongai."
"So, never a man."
"No."
Byakuya released Renji's wrists with a brush of his fingers to the manacles. "I see. Tomorrow, you may return at midnight. Do not loiter outside again."
Renji blinked and rubbed his wrists. He waved at Byakuya's groin area. "Don't you want me to… well, you know?"
"If I wanted you to do anything, I would have told you, Lieutenant. Now, leave."
Stung, Renji stood up. Byakuya returned to his desk as Renji gathered his clothing and dressed. Byakuya did not look up from his paperwork, not even when Renji wished him a good night. Renji left without even a return for the evening.
The night had grown cooler, bearing the memory of winter on its breeze. Renji wrapped his arms around himself. He did not know where he was going until he found himself in front of the Fourth Division's hospital. One of the officers let him in without questions.
Renji found Hinamori sitting by the window. Instead of staring at the wall, she stared at the moon. Her knuckles had turned white where she gripped the windowsill. Renji stared, remembering a winter night not so long ago. Her knuckles had been just as white when she had gripped her zanpakutō to face Aizen. None of the Shinigami understood how Aizen had done it, but he had smiled at her and somehow poisoned her mind again. Her attack against Hitsugaya had been so vicious that Renji had feared the smallest captain would fall before her onslaught. But at the last moment, Hinamori had turned her blade on herself. She had nearly died to break Aizen's hold on her.
Swallowing, Renji sat by her bed. How could he talk to her about his problems, so minor and insignificant compared to hers?
"Has he been here, Hinamori? Hitsugaya? Has he come to see you?"
Hinamori did not answer. Her knuckles only grew whiter as she stared at the moon.
"It's not your fault, you know. He's walking around fine, now. The scar even looks good on him—makes him look like he hit puberty, y'know?"
Hinamori did not so much as blink in response. Renji sighed and turned away. It was not his business what Hitsugaya chose to do, but Renji hoped he visited Hinamori—she deserved that, at least. "I'm sorry, Hinamori. I should leave you alone. You don't need to worry about my problems."
When Renji stood up, Hinamori turned and stared at him. She gave him the same gaze she had given the moon, empty and unblinking. Renji sat back down, wondering if she could still hear him. This was more response than she had given anyone in a month.
"It's Byakuya, you see," he told her. "We kinda… I don't know what to call it. It wasn't much, but it felt like a whole lot. But he doesn't seem to care about any of it. I mean, I'm glad he didn't hurt me, but he didn't even want me to touch him back. Then he ignored me."
Renji ran his fingers through his hair; it was still unbound. "That hurt. It hurt more than any whip or blade he could have used. I can handle his little power play—it's humiliating, but it doesn't mean anything. But to just… send me away, like I'm some goddamn whore…" Renji's voice dropped to a whisper. "And I'll go back tomorrow, just like he told me. I should hack him to pieces with Zabimaru, but I'll go back and let him tie me up again. How pathetic is that?
"I guess that's the difference between you and me, Hinamori." Renji stood up. "You were strong enough to end Aizen's hold over you. Me, I keep going back to Byakuya, like a stray dog desperately begging for scraps. Not that my problems really compare to yours." He stroked her hair. "Thanks for listening."
Renji could not be sure, but he thought Hinamori's gaze followed him as he left the room.
To be continued…