Martha's Loft
"So tell me mother what is your big news" asks Rick.
She wonders if she should tell him the truth. He has sounded so much better on the phone since leaving. But if she didn't tell and Alexis let it slip… he would be upset with her. Taking a deep breath she just lets it out "Katherine is back in New York."
She hears silence on the other end… "Richard, are you still there?"
He had locked up after hearing his mother. That was not what he expected to hear. Her getting the lead in some play or maybe having a new boyfriend …Yes. That Kate Beckett was back in New York… No. Gaining his sense back he answers his mother "Yes mother I'm still here."
He thinks for a second then asks "How do you know she is back in the city?"
"She was at my loft this afternoon darling… and before that she paid a visit to Alexis."
"Why?"
"My understanding is that she miserable the whole time she was in DC and admitted she made a terrible mistake…"
She is cut off by her son whose anger is starting to rise "She's damn right she made a terrible mistake!"
"Richard, please calm yourself down and let me continue. Anyway, she told me that she quit her job and has come back to New York to attempt to re-establish her relationships with everyone important to her that she threw away when taking the job."
"Really, she thinks she can just waltz back into town and everyone is going to forgive her? It's more like wishful thinking if you ask me."
"Richard… she is admitting she was wrong… everybody deserves a second chance."
"Maybe Lanie and the boys can forgive her but I know one person who won't."
"Look kiddo, I know you're still hurting… but you and I both know you still love that girl."
"I didn't say anything about love I said forgive…. How many times am I supposed to let her hurt me, lie to me, keep secrets from me… and just forgive her?"
"She may not be perfect, and I don't justify her actions… but she loves you Richard"
Getting aggravated again he adds "Well she sure has a hell of a way of showing it."
Seeing that she getting nowhere with his son she states "I'm not saying that you two should kiss and make up… all she wants is to talk to you. If you have seen how down she looked…"
"How she looked… what about how I looked after she said "NO" and broke my heart into pieces? How about that mother? So seeing how you are talking to her you can tell her from me I'll talk to her when hell freezes over."
"Richard Alexander Rodgers, I know I did not raise you to be like that." He doesn't answer her and she is afraid that he has hung up on her. "Richard" no response, she tries again "Richard" still no response… she is just about to hang up when he replies.
"Can we just change the subject…? I don't think I can talk about this anymore… right now."
"Okay Richard, but just think of what I told you."
"I will mother, now the reason I was calling you has to let you know I am coming to New York to visit both you and Alexis."
"That's wonderful, we both have missed you terribly… when are you planning on coming?"
"I have missed the both of you too… and seeing how you're schedules will not allow the two of you down here… I decided to come up there. I was planning on coming up next week."
"Are you going to drive up or are you planning on flying?" she asks
"I was planning on flying up … there is a local airport here that can fly me to Norfolk International and I could jump on a connector flight to LaGuardia."
"I take it you will be staying at my loft with me?"
"I'm not sure mother, I have enjoyed that fact the Richard Castle is gone… nobody knows Richard Rodgers… what if the paparazzi is around?"
"Richard, neither I nor Alexis have seen them since the month after your last book came out announcing your retirement. Last I saw in the papers everyone thinks you're hiding out outside of the country. Besides, you were nice enough to buy this place for me the least I can do is having you stay when you are in town."
"Alright… I'll stay with you. Just make sure I don't walk in on some naked gentleman again."
"Richard"
12th Precinct
She is nervous as she enters the elevator heading up to the homicide division. Although it has only been four months… it seems like it was a lifetime ago. Everything has changed and even though she knows it is her fault… she really doesn't know what to expect when the elevator doors open. Will every one treat the same before she left? Will they see her as not being able to cut it with the AG's Office? And what about the boys, did Gates even ask them if they wanted her back? Regardless of the answers… there was no more time to think about it… she heard the ding and doors opened. She timidly makes her way around the corner to the hallway leading to her desk. She is surprised when most of the uniforms and detectives smile at her and welcome her back. As she gets closer she sees them for the first time in four months.
Ryan and Esposito are sitting at their desks working on completing the paperwork for their last case. They know she is going to be walking out the elevator doors any minute making her way over to them. When Gates came to them Friday morning, notifying them of her conversation with Beckett and her decision to bring her back… she asks the boys if it would be a problem. She even offered to place her with a different team if it would be… but both Espo and Ryan said they were fine working with her. That weekend both detectives went out to Castle's old bar to decide how they were going to handle the situation.
Espo started "I don't mind her coming back and part of our team, we both know she is probably one of the best detectives in the country…. But I just don't know if I trust her…. Look at what we lost from her actions?"
"I agree Javi… We would be crazy not to have her back, but you're right look at everything we lost… Not only someone we considered a big sister, but also the man that made things fun around here."
"So Ryan, how do you want to handle it on Monday?"
Ryan thinks it over… he is torn… Kate will always be a big sister to him; after all she showed him the ropes when he first was assigned to homicide. He wishes they could all be friends again… but he doesn't trust her… she also threw away everything for some job offer in DC… Finally he answers "I really don't know… what do you think?"
It doesn't even take him a minute to decide "Professional, but cold". To him she doesn't deserve anything else… she hurt him the most by her decision to leave for some in his opinion bull shit job in DC. Everything she needed was right here… friends, family, and love. If it was easy for her to give that up… then it would be easy to treat her like shit.
Beckett finally reaches her desk and team "Morning Ryan and Esposito".
They just briefly look up at her and nod. So it begins she said to herself. It isn't long before Captain Gates sticks her heard out of the office "Detective Beckett, I need you in my office for a minute."
"Yes Sir" she responds making her way over, closing the door after she enters.
"Beckett it is good to see you again, and welcome back… here is your shield and your weapon. You can pick up your car at the motor pool."
"It's good to be back where I belong, Sir."
"Well then I'll let you to it… right now your team doesn't have a case… you may want to get yourself situated" at that Gates nods to Ryan and Esposito.
Kate exits Gates office and heads back over to her desk. She tries again with the boys "So guys how have things been going?"
Not even bothering to look up at her, they reply in unison "Fine."
This is going to be a lot harder than she thought. Maybe if she apologized… "Look I'm sorry I kept the job offer from the both of you…"
She doesn't get any farther as Espo gets up taking his paperwork down to filing ignoring her completely. After he is out of sight she tries to get through to Ryan.
"Ryan, I mean it I'm sorry about…"
She once again isn't allowed to finish… not even looking up at her, her holds his hand up motioning for her to stop while shaking his head. He then continues with his paperwork.
Knowing she is not going to get anywhere for now, she gets up and makes her way down to the morgue.
The Medical Examiner's Office
Lanie is in the morgue working on a victim for another team when Kate makes her way in. "Hey Lanie"
"Welcome back Detective Beckett"
"Really, you can't call me Kate"
"I take it things aren't going so well upstairs"
Kate lets out a breath "No, not exactly"
Seeing her friend looking down in the dumps she continues "Okay tell me"
"Well Gates and everybody else have seemed to welcome me back… but the boys won't give me the time of day."
"Kate, what were you expecting?"
"I know Lanie… believe me I knew I wasn't going to win back my friendship with them right away, but they aren't even letting me try."
"I'm sorry to say this girl, but you just might not be able to. You hurt them really bad with the decisions you made. Their big sister told them a job was more important than them. You also took away Castle. I know he was your boyfriend… but he was just as important to those two upstairs."
Just the mention of his name almost causes Beckett to sob. She fights back the tears and Lanie gives in and walks over to embrace her friend.
"Honey, I wish I could say that everything is going to work out… but I would be lying. I don't know if you'll be able to fix everything you have caused. All I can tell you is to not give up… just keep trying."
She pulls herself together "Thanks Lanie… for everything."
"Anytime girl, you know where to find me if you need me."
Unfortunately for Kate things continued… everyday she would try and talk to the boys…everyday they would shut her down. If it wasn't for the two Jack shot Jill over Bill cases they were assigned… she doubts they would have talked to her at all. At least the cases caused some interaction… even if it was usually a just the facts conversation.
By the end of the week she was at the end of her rope. If it wasn't for Lanie being the friends she was… Beckett thinks she might have just quit. She decided once and for all they were going to at least all her to apologize. She caught them while they were alone in the break room. Closing the door she began.
"Esposito, Ryan I know I've hurt both of you with the decisions I've made… I am truly sorry. My decision to take the job offer in DC… damaged a lot; friendships, partnerships and even trust. I know my coming back might not be able to fix everything I have caused. If I could got back four months ago… I would. I would have turned down the job offer… I would have stayed here at the 12th with the both of you… I would have said yes to Castle…"
Espo speaks up "Wait a minute… what do you mean you would have said yes to Castle?
Oh, she thought Lanie had told them he proposed to her. "Um… that day… I met with him. I honestly thought he was breaking up with me… for keeping secrets from him… well he proposed…."
Ryan answers for her "And you said no."
Kate repeats him "I said no"
Espo shakes his head "How could you do that Kate? How long have I worked with you? In all that time I've never seen you so happy and in love… And you turn that down for some bull shit job."
"Espo, I know I made a terrible mistake… I don't know why I threw away my one chance for happiness. All I can say is that I got scared and ran like I always do."
"Kate, you don't think he was scared… I mean come on the guy had two failed marriages. But still he thought you were worth taking the risk… and what do you do… you break his heart, so bad that he wants nothing to do with anybody. Ryan and I tried repeatedly to get him to talk to us, go out with us, and even assist us on a case. He wouldn't come near us… kept apologizing saying it wasn't us…. Just everything reminded him of you."
She was not expecting Espo response… not prepared for it, she breaks down in tears sobbing. Wanting nothing more to comfort her… he can't, not yet. He is still angry with her… and she has a long ways to go to earn back his trust. Espo gathers his coffee and heads out of the break room.
Ryan is still there… he has heard everything both Kate and Espo has said. He knows his friend still cares about her, but it is going to take some time. Feeling for her and not wanting to just leave her alone… he walks up to her placing a hand on her shoulder. "Beckett, it's not like we don't care about you or want you here… it's just going to take us some time." She gives him a thankful nod… as he exits he calls down to Lanie asking her to come up and check on Kate.
La Guardia Airport
Two anxious redheads are waiting at the baggage claim area on a Saturday evening for a man they haven't seen in two months. Alexis is starting to get worried when she feels somebody tapping on her shoulder. Her grandmother points to one of the last passengers making his way down to them. To say she is shocked would be a gross understatement. The man walking to them looks nothing like he did two months ago when he called them to the loft. Gone is his sandy brown fop hair due replaced with short blondish hair and a matching goatee. He has to be at least twenty five pounds lighter… all toned and tanned. Also gone are the designer dress shirts and pants replaced with a T-shirt, cargo shorts and deck shoes. If she didn't know he was on this flight and looking for him… she would have never noticed him. Deciding not to wait she runs to him… jumping up in his arms she cries "Dad, I missed you so much."
"Smiling and fighting back his own tears he replies "I missed you too pumpkin."
Releasing his daughter, taking her hand in his, they make their way to the older woman… who has not moved still taking in the change in his appearance. He wraps his left arm around her placing a kiss on her cheek "Hello mother."
Not realizing how much she too has missed him… she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling her closer into her embrace "Richard… it is so good to see you kiddo."
After collecting his things he asks "Okay, so what are our plans?"
"Gram and I thought we could go out to eat and then head to her loft to relax and catch up on everything."
"Sounds great, but let's not go anywhere too fancy… as you can see I'm not dressed for it and wouldn't want anybody to notice who I am."
"Dad, I almost didn't recognize you… and I was looking. I don't think anybody will know it's you. But if you're that worried there is a new Chinese restaurant close by grams we could try."
"That sounds great… it has been forever since I've had Chinese."
Martha pipes in "Good God Richard… you mean to tell me they don't have Chinese down there."
"Well mother I'm sure they do on the mainland, but not on my island…. Plus you should know too much Chinese food is not good for you"
"This coming from the man who invented the smor-lette."
Laughing at her response… he decides to be a smart ass "Mother that was Richard Castle…. Not Richard Rodgers."
"Really Richard"
There night continues, everything going well. The Chinese was delicious; conversation at Martha's was great. He knew he missed his girls, but being here really brought it to his attention. Although not wanting to tell him… Alexis accidently let out she was seeing somebody from her trip to Costa Rica. Expecting her father to be the overprotective person he normally is, she is surprised when she is not hit with a thousand questions. Instead he tells her that he is happy for her. Giving him a questionable look he adds "Alexis, although you will always be my baby girl… you are a grown woman able to make her own decisions." The talking continued until late in the evening. Finally worn out he excused himself and headed off to bed. Alone in his room he has mixed feelings about being back in the city. He is glad he is spending time with Martha and Alexis, but he is worried about somebody recognizing him. He has enjoyed the solitary life Ocracoke has provided him. It also helps that Richard Castle is not a common name there. He also worries about running into Kate, Lanie or the boys. After his talk with his mother a week ago… he is as lost as he was 4 months ago. He knows he loves her and will always, but he is not willing to risk even talking to her. As for Lanie and the boys…. He knows what he did to them wasn't right. They had nothing to do with Kate's decision… unfortunately they suffered the fallout. He is only hoping that the checks they received let them know how truly important they are to him. He finally allows the sleep to take him.
Jim Beckett's Home
Kate and her father, Jim sits at the table eating dinner. He starts off the conversation "So Katie how has your first week back at the precinct gone?"
Sighing she responds "How do you think it went?"
"Well you had to know it wasn't going to be easy?"
"Dad, I did know… but it made me see just how much damage my leaving has caused. I think if it wasn't for Lanie… I would just give up."
"Hey" he said "That is not the strong- willed, determined, stubborn daughter I know."
"I think I may have lost her… nothing is working Dad. Everybody I have tried to fix things with… won't give me the time of day. The boys are cold and ignore me, Alexis hasn't returned my calls after our visit at Columbia and the only one who has somewhat been nice to me is Martha. Which surprises me considering I broke her son's heart? And on top of all that… I miss him… nothing has been the same without him."
"Katie, I wish I could make everything better for you… but I can't. The only thing I will tell you is to not give up. Keep trying with the boys, with Rick's family and don't give up on trying finding him. Maybe I should have interfered four months ago?"
"I won't give up, I can't… I want everything back… and I'm going to fight for it. You were right… It was my decision back then and I'll just have to fix my mistakes."
After dinner Kate heads up to her room. She wants to be strong, but right now she can't. She silently cries herself to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be better?
7 AM – Martha's Loft
He might be back in New York, but he still is going to follow his daily routine. He quickly gets up out of bed, slips on a pair of shorts, tank top (after all he is not at the beach), his running shoes and heads out.
7 AM – Jim Beckett's Home
She wakes up early, it might be her day off… but she needs to do something. Going for a morning run have always helped her in the past when trying to work things out. She might as well try it now. She quickly throws a pair of shorts, t-shirt and her running shoes and heads out of the house.
A/N: I guess will all can tell what may happen… Hope you enjoy. New chapter will be up either Monday or Tuesday.