Note: Seriously guys. You are all amazing. Your reviews make me ridiculously happy. Love, love, love. (Apologies for the typos, editing is just not happening rn for me xoxo)
Better Than Forever
"What could be better than forever I wonder? Surely nothing is better than the idea of everything? The chance at having it all? Oh but I'll tell you one thing that usurps the throne of eternity…It is here and now."
Bonnie Bennett was exhausted. Now, this wasn't the kind of tired that happened after back to back classes at college, or hours of sifting through research, or even kilometers of driving, or an eighteen hour flight. No, this was the kind of tired where it finally dawned on you just how the hell much you've been through.
And she'd been through too much. But Bonnie kept telling herself that she'd survived and that that was good enough to tide her over until everything she came back to was nothing but a shudder-inducing memory. Like how Caroline is devoid of anything that makes her Caroline Forbes. How Jeremy had left with less than a goodbye. How Alaric was engaged. And how his fresh out the box ex-witch fiancé was pregnant. How Stefan loved Caroline… how Bonnie herself never got to say goodbye to Sheriff Forbes and worst of all, How Kai was still roaming around. Really, the more Bonnie thought about it, the more she knew; Damon was the only thing in this entire scenario that made any sense to her.
And even then, he was different, but she knew she was just being paranoid. She'd been sitting on the cure since she'd gotten home; waiting for the right moment to tell him "Hey, remember the one thing you want more than anything, well, I have it, right here". Who knew how that would end? So for the next few days Bonnie'd spent time with Lily, keeping the ruse alive while keeping Damon distracted and trying to build a solid plan to get Caroline's emotions back on. Which is how she found herself leaning against the wall of a narrow walkway between dance floors at someone's idea of a 'rave'. Between herself, Stefan and Elena they were hoping to finally get a handle on Caroline while Damon took it upon himself to babysit his mother. So far, all they had to show for themselves were unsolicited come-ons from strangers and probable tinnitus.
Bonnie felt suddenly out of her depths. There were too many people, too many sounds, too many dark corners, too many variables for her to keep a cool head about all of it. Suddenly she found herself reconsidering her words to Damon when she'd convinced him to let her out of the house, he'd been so adamant that Elena and Stefan could bring Caroline around but she'd been too bull-headed, so sure there was something, anything she could do to get to the blonde vampire. She hadn't for one moment considered what the entire situation would do to her personally. She needed to get a handle on herself to do the location spell to put an end to this endless wondering around.
Bonnie was trying to breathe through the noise and hysteria when she felt his presence. Her eyes fluttered closed in acute frustration and she was really regretting being on her own in that moment. It seemed like he'd been following her everywhere since he'd helped getting Lily back. Even the aura of his magic had this odd pull to it; like it was sucking at your skin and it made every inch of her body break out into goose bumps. She clenched her fists together and opened her eyes just in time to watch Kai round the corner and stop in front of her. A pulsing began in her head as she locked eyes with him; like a mixture of rage and magic was swirling inside of her, filling her, heating every part of her body. He was dressed in a thick black trench coat, a jarring effect among the half-naked partyers around them.
"…Hi." He mumbled and she blinked at him. "Look, I've been thinking about what you said –"
The arrow sank into her stomach with such force that it sent her small body careening backwards, out of Damon's reach –
"When you said that I wasn't sorry, I mean, Bon – Bonnie you have to know that I am –"
His hand around her throat, the blade in her stomach, her feet running over the faded tiles of the abandoned hospital floors, getting stuffed in a trunk –
"I am so sorry for everything that I ever did to you, I am, I've changed, I –"
"Not good enough." She blurted and he swallowed, clamping his mouth shut. "You don't get to kill Liv's brother and use that merging spell as some bullshit front for your awfully convenient change of heart – I'm not buying it, you want something."
"You're right," He nodded, "I do want something; I want your forgiveness."
"Liar," she exclaimed, "Kai, you need to leave me alone. You've tortured me enough, and now you're following me everywhere I go? That's not how this works; hear me when I say this – back off or I melt your face off, got it?" Kai's eyes widened as he saw the flash of magic in her eyes as she snarled those words at him. "The same goes for you going near everyone else."
"You mean Damon don't you?" Her brows lifted as confusion dipped its hands into the bubbling cauldron of her thoughts. "I've seen you two together, clearer than any of the people you love so much and I see it, he's the only one you really care about anymore." Bonnie's head tilted as she frowned at his audacity.
"Kai," She sneered as she said his name, "At this point I would kill you for leaving a cat up in a tree –"
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He smiled, "The chance to kill me, for real?" Heat surged in her veins and she felt the coil of something tighten inside of her, begging to spring out of her and claw its way through him.
"You need to leave." Bonnie's heart rate tripled when Damon's hand closed around her upper arm. "Now." Bonnie's heartbeat kept a steady thud while they both watched Kai leave, the vibration of Damon's growling thrumming along with the loud music. "That's it," he said, his voice gruff, "You're not leaving the house either." Bonnie wanted to snap or shout something at him but she was still shaking too much. He frowned then, turning to her, finally tuned in to her body. "…Hey…" that did it, Bonnie thought, as another part of herself came undone at the sincere sound of sympathy in Damon's voice. It confirmed everything she was feeling in that instant. "Bon," she didn't think twice about it, she threw her arms around his waist. He had her wrapped in his hold not a second later, "Fuck." She heard him mutter into the crown of her head. "Ssh, ssh, come on, let's go." She shook her head as she nuzzled into his shirt, "Why not?"
"We need Caroline." Bonnie said, but her voice was shredded through with apprehension, she was too overwhelmed and she didn't have the answers, she was so used to knowing what to do, so used to being someone people relied on… this version of her, flailing and shaking…
"No, what we need is to get you home," he countered, "You're not okay." Bonnie pulled away.
"Neither is she." He looked down at her and she gulped heavily at what she saw in his eyes.
"Look I know that this is your thing," Damon said, dipping his head to quirk his brows at her, "Coming to everyone's rescue but…maybe just tap out for tonight?" Bonnie shook her head then, adamant.
"I won't let innocent people get hurt because I'm tired Damon," Bonnie said stubbornly, "That's not me."
"Which is why I've grown so fond of you." Lily's voice cut through their little bubble and Bonnie took a step out of Damon's space and turned to his mother who made her way over with her arms open. "Damon got paranoid." She explained, "So he came to you, but I figured you could use my help." Damon shook his head in disapproval while Bonnie had never felt so relieved in her life. Lily smiled and chuckled softly as she and Bonnie hugged. "He asked me to wait in the car." They both laughed at that while Damon narrowed his eyes.
"You two are ridiculous." Damon complained, "And we're going to talk about all of your secrets at some point, but now, we need to get Caroline so that we can all go home." Lily nodded and pulled a syringe of vervain.
"You forgot this dear." She said with a quick smile up at her son and Damon pursed his lips together but his smile was as clear as day.
"Thanks mom." He said sweetly while Bonnie drew in a ragged breath and squared her shoulders, it was now or never.
"Who the hell is she?" Damon yelled into his phone while Bonnie and Lily eased Liam down onto the floor, to tend to his neck wounds. Damon had sped off without saying anything after Stefan called him and as Lily and Bonnie chased after him, Bonnie's phone rang with Elena in hysterics on the other end. She'd said something about Caroline and then Enzo and some girl the blonde was after…then Damon had ripped into Liam's neck and Bonnie all but forgot about the phone pressed to her ear.
Bonnie couldn't hear what Stefan said in return to Damon but Lily had and she gasped, covering it up by keeping her eyes on Liam's neck. Damon grunted in annoyance and bit into his wrist, sticking it in the human's mouth. He shot up then and stilled when what Stefan was saying kicked in, he turned and looked down at the half-dead girl on the table. "…Stefan?" His tone was lower, "Stefan, wait," then higher, thinner, "Stefan! –" He yelled out and threw his phone against the wall and Bonnie stood to her feet once Liam's lids fluttered.
"Damon what is it?" The witch asked.
"Stefan, he, he, he turned it off. He turned it off to keep Sarah safe." Bonnie frowned.
"Safe from what, Caroline? And how does he intend to do that with his humanity off?" Bonnie snapped.
"I don't know Bonnie!" Damon yelled, turning to look down at Sarah and pulling in a long breath to steady himself, "But he thought she was worth saving." Bonnie followed his line of vision.
"Who is she?"
"She's the last Salvatore."
Bonnie was staring down at the girl who lay in the middle of Stefan's bed. Sarah was beautiful. She thought back to the conversation she, Damon and Kai had had back in 1994. How Damon had killed Zach's pregnant girlfriend. Bonnie swallowed. She doubted that she'd ever get rid of that small lurch in her stomach when it re-occurred to her what Damon had done in all his years on Earth and how most of it was so opposed to everything she believed in. Yet, there they were, so reliant on one another, so invested in the other and their well-being…
"Penny for your thoughts?" His voice cut through her reverie and she sighed, shaking her head as she looked Sarah Salvatore over once more.
"The blood did most of the healing but I cast a spell to get her a decent night's rest, I'm sure she needs it.
"Considering she was being hacked into by Dr McDreary I would say yes, she needs some time out." Bonnie nodded and stood up. "Wait a minute," Damon took hold of her elbow, "Your face," she frowned as he gestured to it with his free hand, "It looks like your mad at me." She rolled her eyes, "Yup you are, so, spit it out."
"It's just –" she stepped out of his hold and rubbed up and down her arms as she thought about what the hell was going on in her head and how much of it would actually form a coherent sentence. "Stefan's gone too now, Caroline is on some twisted rampage, you have a relative, Enzo is being especially unbearable, and, and, Kai and then you, and I, just –"
"What about me?" He wondered. Her eyes snapped to his and her mouth plopped opened and then she clamped it closed not a second later.
"Nothing, Damon, I just, I think you need to worry less about me and more about your family, you know?" He frowned.
"I'll worry about whoever the hell I want." He sassed, brows twisted in irritation.
"I'm just saying Damon, you have your mother back, you have a niece, sort of, and now this whole Stefan thing –"
"Yes and my best friend is being stalked by a psychopath. By the way, why can't we kill him again?"
"He controls the prison worlds," Bonnie reminded him unnecessarily, "If we want to help Lily, we need him around…for now. We have to figure out what happened to her, she needs to settle." Damon hummed noncommittally.
"I still think he needs to be decapitated."
"So do I." Bonnie growled and Damon's curiosity lilted upwards at the look that flashed over her face then.
"You want to kill him don't you?" He said with his voice lower. Bonnie averted her eyes. "Bonnie, this is me you're talking to…"
"I do, Damon," she said and peeked up at him through her lashes, so innocent, so lethal, "More than anything."
"Then that's our plan of action." She looked at him in question. "Bring back Stefan and Caroline and get whatever we need about 1903 and then you," he dipped his head a little down at her for emphasis, "Get to slay the siphon." Bonnie nodded her head determinedly. "But first," he said, his tone noticeably lighter and casual as he turned her around and steered her out of his brother's room, "We're making tea, you look like you need some chamomile."
"I don't know how much longer I can keep this from him," Bonnie admitted honestly, "He reads me too well." Lily became pensive, pursing her lips as her blue eyes glazed over in thought. She'd just replenished the glamour over herself that made her seem human to any other supernatural; steady heart, flushed skin, sound breathing.
"That he does," the vitch agreed, "But the sooner we get what we need from Kai the sooner we can send him home and get my son back," Bonnie nodded, "And the sooner I can tell them what really happened the day I died." Bonnie's mouth curled upward.
"You have nothing to worry about," Bonnie said, "You're safe now." Lily tried to smile.
"When it comes to my sons, my own well-being is irrelevant, nothing scares me more than losing them again." Bonnie understood and put her hand over Lily's and patted it gently.
"That won't happen," Bonnie vowed, "Not if I have anything to do with it."
"How lucky the Salvatores are to have the Bennetts." Lily said her voice warm, "You have no idea how thankful I am that my sons have you in their lives."
"I have an idea how thankful." Damon said loudly as he and Elena walked in, smiling at the two women as they sat in the kitchen with two mugs of tea in front of them. Elena smiled awkwardly and Bonnie felt suddenly tired.
"I think I'm gonna head home." She said with a stifled yawn. "I still have to get to the bottom of this whole prison world thing."
"Nonsense." Lily exclaimed.
"Ditto," Damon went on, "Unless you mean a room upstairs." Both Salvatores looked to the witch expectantly while Elena watched Bonnie's eyes volley between the two of them. When had the three of them become so close? Lily sighed and stood up motioning for Bonnie to do the same.
"I know you want to do as much research as you can for me dear but you've had a long night and I won't take no for an answer." Damon's smile was smug and triumphant, something Elena hadn't seen on his face in so long. "Besides, you know Damon would be tearing your house apart by dawn if you dare step out of this house." Lily said as she steered Bonnie upstairs.
"She's right!" Damon called after them and Elena was frowning now. Something was really off about him. When he turned to Elena, still smiling she moved too slowly to school her features, causing him to frown. "What?" She shook her head and shrugged. "…What?" he pressed.
"Nothing," Elena insisted, "I just find it a little weird how close your mom and Bonnie are." Damon nodded in agreement.
"It's annoying I know," he said, completely missing her point, "They're such gossips too, can't get a word in edgewise." Elena didn't know how to respond to the fondness he held in his tone as he spoke about them. "But I am glad she likes Bonnie." he added as an afterthought, moving to clear away the mugs, missing the hurt that flashed across his girlfriend's face because she knew, the same could not be said for her.
Note: Thoughts?