Phineas and Ferb
The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb
Episode 4a: That's One Spicy Pizza!
Episode Summary: Phineas and Ferb, and their neighborhood friends attempt to make the tastiest and healthiest pizza in all of Danville. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to make the state of Virginia the most obese state in the country by distributing out an extremely tasty pizza that makes people gain weight extremely quickly.
Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Also don't bother looking for original songs in this! Sorry, but I'm not good with writing original songs. Never have been.
There's just so many days of adolescence vacation
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,
So the problem for children of this generation,
Is finding a good way to spend it
Like maybe...
Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,
Discovering something that doesn't exist,
Or giving a monkey a shower
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,
Or driving the adults insane
This could possibly be the best day ever,
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be
a million and six times better,
So make every minute count
jump up, jump in and seize the day,
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!
It was about 6:00 that evening. (Remember, this is still taking place on the night of the previous episode.) The Flynn-Fletchers decided to take everyone to a pizza parlor to have some dinner before they headed back. Isabella was released from the hospital just moments ago and was able to join them. She was psyched that they were all having pizza for dinner.
"I'm glad they let you out of the hospital." Phineas said to Isabella. "This wouldn't be half as fun if you were still cooped up in there." They both reached for the same piece of pizza, and shared a laugh as Phineas let her have that piece and he took another one.
"Aw, thanks, Phineas. I'm glad that I got let out, too. It's just too bad my dad didn't turn out the way I wanted him too. He's very weird."
"Evidently, if it wasn't for your weird father's quick thinking, you might've been dead." Ferb added.
"True. But he's still a jerk! And he's so concided that he has his own theme song!"
"Let it go, Isabella. It's not worth it to dwell on the past." Linda said, taking a bit out of her pizza. "That's why I don't get upset with Candace's constant rant about Phineas and Ferb."
"You're right. I just hope I never see him again. It was bad enough as a child. I don't want to have to suffer through it again!"
"Well tonight, we're heading back to Danville, so he'll be out of your life for good."
"Thank goodness!"
The friends all continued to eat their pizzas, enjoying every single bite of it. It was so delicious Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella ended up having 4 pieces each. "Gosh, that was so delicious." Phineas remarked after finishing his 4th piece and starting his 5th. "It's too bad we can't have pizza like this every night for dinner. Then we'd never have to worry about cooking ever again."
"Well, hon, this kind of food may be delicious, but it's also very unhealthy when eaten too much or too often." Linda explained to her curious son.
"What do you mean it's unhealthy?"
"Well, there are a lot of ingredients that can make someone really fat and really unhealthy when they eat too much of it."
"Are all foods like that?"
"Of course not. There are lots of healthy foods, like fruits, vegetables, and dairy products that keep people healthy, and there are other foods, such as pizzas, chicken, etc, that can make people unhealthy if they eat too much of it."
"It's a shame pizza's not one of the healthy foods." Phineas took another bite of his pizza, when suddenly, he got an idea. "Wait, that's it! What if we could make an extremely organic and extremely healthy pizza. That way, nobody would ever have to worry about eating bad things ever again! And we'd be able to enjoy delicious pizza every minute of every day. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do tomorrow! By the way, does anyone know what happened to Isabella's dad after we left?"
"I heard that he was arrested on the spot and they're planning to give him some counceling with the best psychologist in the world." Lawrence replied.
"Well who would that be?" A curious Phineas asked.
Meanwhile, over on the other side of the country, where it was still considered afternoon, Glenn Quagmire, aka Isabella's dad, was in a therapist's office, getting help for his problems by the best psychologist in the world, Dr. Phil McGraw. Unfortunately, it wasn't going well for him.
"You are the worst patient I have ever had!" Dr. Phil yelled to Quagmire. "Not only are you completely in denial over you abusive past with your own family, but you're flat-out an idiot! I mean," He pressed a button on his remote which changed slides on the slide projector and showed a picture of Quagmire hitting Isabella. "This is not Forrest Gump!" He changed slides again. This one was of Quagmire yelling at Isabella and making her cry. "This is not The Shawshank Redemption!" He changed slides yet again, this time to Isabella sitting on the stoop of her house while it is pouring outsidde and Quagmire is indside, drunk as hell. "And how could this possible be the Jeff Dunham show!?"
Quagmire simply looked at Dr. Phil sternly. "So...when do I get the free food!?"
Dr. Phil looked at Quagmire back like he was insane. "Get outta my studio!!"
So the next day, after they had returned to Danville, and after they had all gone to bed and went to sleep, Phineas and Ferb prepared to do exactly what Phineas said the previous night: Create the biggest, tastiest, and healthiest pizza know to man. First, they just had to make sure that they had everything they needed to make the delicious treat.
"OK, Ferb, let's make sure we have everything." Phineas said going through his checklist. "Cheeses? Check. Pizza screen? Check. Topping? Check."
"Hi Phineas." Isabella said as she strolled happily into the backyard, giving her boyfriend a kiss on his cheek. "What'cha doin'?"
"Hi Isabella. We're going to design a pizza that's so tasty and so healthy that people can have it for every meal every day for the rest of their lives!"
"Really? That's so cool! Can I help?"
"Of course! You can start by spreading the word to everyone. You know, Baljeet, Buford, your Fireside Girls troop--"
"Way ahead of you, Phineas." Isabella replied as Baljeet, Buford, and her Fireside girls troop all walked into the backyard. "Hi Phineas!" Everyone in her Fireside Girls troop said simultaneously.
"Where should we start?" Baljeet asked.
"Good question, Baljeet. I think Ferb could use some help making the pizza dough. You go help him with that, Buford, can you go back home and bring over all the pizza toppings you have and then come back here and help Baljeet and Ferb make the pizza?"
"I'll be back in a flash!" He said as he quickly took off.
"And Isabella, you and the Fireside Girls can start spreading the word."
"To whom?"
"To everyone in town, of course! Tell them about the tastiest and healthiest and most affordable pizzas in the entire world!"
"But what if it's not done by the time we get everyone here?"
"Please, Isabella. Do you know who you're dealing with?" Phineas asked her in a kind of smug and obnoxious tone, which annoyed and flattered her at the same time. "We'll have this thing done in 15 minutes or less."
"Cool! By the way, where's Perry? I brought this cute little toy over for him." Isabella pulled out a rubber ducky from her pocket and gave it to Phineas. "Pinky doesn't want it anymore, so I thought Perry would like it."
"Well that was sweet of you. I'm sure he'll love it. I don't know where he is, though. I haven't seen him since this morning. But you know him, I'm sure he's gonna turn up sooner or later."
"Awesome. See you in a little while. Call me when the pizzas are ready." She said as she and her Fireside Girls troop left.
"Will do, Izzy."
Perry, aka Agent P, was already in his secret lair receiving his mission from his boss, Major Francis Monogram. Seriously, his name is Francis? Jeez, I thought that was Ozzy Osbourne's maiden name.
"Good morning, Agent P. We tracked Doofenshmirtz while he went to the Danville Grocery Store to buy some ingredient. We then did some research and discovered that those ingredients are all used to make...a pizza! Now, we can only assume that Dr. Doofenshmirtzis planning to do something dastardly withthese ingredients, but we also like to give people the benefit of the doubt. After all, he could be, for all we know, just be making a pizza. Maybe have a decent dinner for once. But, we'd still like you to investigate, Agent P. With Doofenshmirtz, we can't take any chances."
The Platypus saluted his boss, and then went to take the hovercraft to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated to see just what Doofenshmirtz was cooking up. Literally.
Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, and Baljeet were busy making tons of pizzas for everyone in Danville. Baljeet was doing the pizza tosses, Ferb was putting on the toppings that Buford had brought, and Phineas was building an oven that cook instantly cook a pizza to perfect every time. Now if only they could do that for Fast Food restaurants, then we'd be set.
"Just one more twist, and...there! It's done! OK, Ferb, toss 'em in!" Phineas said to his stepbrother as Ferb brought over the decorated pizzas and stuck them all into the oven at once. He shut the door and turned the contraption on, and in 10 seconds, every pizza in there was cooked to pure perfection. "Wow, they came out even better than I thought. If only Perry were here to see this."
The boys were busy making these pizzas while Isabella and the Fireside Girls were busy spreading the word to everyone. They all designed posters, signs, campaign ads, the whole works. All in an effort to get people's attention of Phineas and Ferb's masterpiece. And for a while, it seemed to be working. There was lots of attention for it, and many people were eager to see what Phineas and Ferb had created. Of course, some of them believed that Phineas and Ferb had created a cure for the Swine Flu, so they were in for a disappointment.
Meanwhile, Perry had just arrived at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, and after sneaking in through a back window, attempted to spy on the evil scientist who was busy on a new invention. He was caught, however, and from absolutely nowhere, a fat suit came from the sky and trapped Perry within it, making him unable to move.
"Perry the Platypus!?" The doctor exclaimed sarcastically. "Whatever happened to you? You look like you've been eating too many sweets! Ah ha ha, oh I am funny. No, seriously I know it's you. Do you like my fat suit trap? I designed it myself. Now I suppose you're wondering why I chose a fat suit for your trap this time around? Well, I'll tell you."
"You remember last year when I tried to destroy the Fireside Girls' Cupcake making factory so that they would stop trying to sell them to me while I'm working out? You do? Well, I decided that since I was unsuccessful in making myself thinner by comparison by exercising, I have decided to make myself thinner by comparison by making everyone else really, really overweight!"
Dr. Doofenshmirtz walked over to a stack of boxes that had a white sheet covering them. He pulled the sheet off of the boxes and revealed them to be pizza boxes. "Behold! A stack of 10,000 Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated cheese pizzas! Which, in reality, is actually just a bunch of home-made pizzas. There's nothing special about them...yet. They're just home-made pizzas."
"But..." He took out a small ray gun and aimed it at the pizzas. He pulled the trigger and shot at them, releasing a green ray and shooting towards the boxes. Nothing seemed to happen, though. "...now, thanks to my newest invention "The Fat Saturator-inator", I have loaded these pizzas with enough energy to make anyone who eats this, instantly gain weight! You see, thanks to this, I've loaded these pizzas with a total of 10,000 calories...per slice! And that-that's a lot of energy. Did you know that 1 pound of fat equals 3,500 calories? So...so essentially, anyone who eats an entire pizza of mine could gain, like, over 20 pounds per pizza! That's a lot of weight!"
"And once everyone in the Tri-State Area takes to my pizza, there will be no stopping them from wanting more! You see, I've added a little extra something to these pizzas that will make it so addicting, once you start eating it, you cannot stop! And thus, I will not only make myself look the thinnest of everyone in the Tri-State Area by comparison, but I will make the Tri-State Area the heaviest Tri-State Area in the entire world! And there is nothing you can do, Perry the Platypus!"
Doofenshmirtz pulled out another remote and pressed a button on it. Just like that, the floor under the stacks of pizzas began descending to the ground floor as he left to go downstairs and watch them be loaded into his giant truck. It took only two minutes for them all to be loaded up, and afterwards, he headed to the truck and started driving downtown to sell his fat-filled pizzas.
Perry's job now was to get out of Doofenshmirtz's trap so he could go after the evil scientist. Seeing as his fat suit was restricting him from reaching into his pockets to grab a laser pen and cut through it. So, he did the only humane thing he could think of. He waddled over to Doofenshmirtz's old treadmill, plugged it in, turned it on, and started sprinting on it at 12 mph. He figured if he couldn't cut it off with a laser, he could melt it off with exercise. Unfortunately, the fat suit was carrying 20 pounds of fat in it, so it was going to be tough.
But his idea was working. As time passed, the suit was slowly thinning out, and it became less heavy. It also became easier for Perry to run and stay on the treadmill. He was also in very good shape, so as the suit was melting off, he was able to go faster and faster and melt the suit faster as well. Finally, after about 30 minutes, all of the weight finally shed off and Perry was free from Doofenshmirtz's trap. So now he had nothing else to do but follow him, which wasn't that difficult considering the truck was like 10 feet high.
And then back in Danville, there was much talk about Phineas and Ferb's new pizza. Nearly everyone was talking about it...well except for one guy, who was busy bathing. But that was about to change.
While the Fireside Girls were busy handing out flyers, they had given one to a nearby driver, who, as he read it, got so excited he stomped onto the gas pedal and lost control of the wheel. As a result, he sped up at about 130 miles an hour, drove past Phineas and Ferb's home, drove a few more houses down, tipped the car onto its side, and then finally crashed into Cleveland's house. Wow, this guy is just seriously unlucky with this kind of stuff.
The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, NO!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. The driver got out of his car and ran over to him.
"Hey, man, sorry about that." He said to him. "Are you OK?"
"OK!? My house just got destroyed! Again! Why weren't you looking where you were going, fool!?" Cleveland shouted to him.
"Sorry. I was just so excited about this new pizza thing that's going around." He grabbed the flyer he had and handed it to Cleveland, who read it.
"Phineas and Ferb's New Tasty and Healthy Delicious Pizza! Guarenteed to reduce your waistline by half an inch per pizza or your money back. Wow, this is something to be excited about." He said, while the other guy nodded. "Hey kids, get changed! We're going out for lunch! How does pizza sound?" He yelled into his home. He got no response, though, and was openly worried about it. "Oh yeah, that's right. Donna took them school shopping."
"It's the middle of June."
"I know, right? Huh, women."
"Yeah. Nothing but trouble. But I guess it's worth it in the end."
"I suppose so."
"So...have you and your wife gotten into trouble since you married?"
"No. We only married a few months ago, which is when I moved here."
"Oh. Well, welcome to the neighborhood. I'm David." The man reached out to shake Cleveland's hand, which he accepted.
"My name's Cleveland."
Suddenly, the hand shaking stopped, and the other guy broke out into hysterical laughter that laster for about ten seconds. "oh my god! Oh, you're named after a country!?" Cleveland's face fell hard as the guy continued laughing.
And while he was dealing with that, Phineas and Ferb were preparing their booth so they could sell their famous pizza to everyone in Danville. "Hmm, it's almost lunchtime. I can't wait for everyone to show up and chow down on our masterpiece. I wonder where they all are."
Truth was, everyone who had heard about this new revelation in healthy food was on their way to Phineas and Ferb's house, ready to enjoy the tastiest thing to hit America since the news that Osama bin Laden's son may have been killed, while at the same time. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was on his way up that very street, going very fast for a truck its size. The people were walking in the streets, and almost didn't notice the oncoming truck, so when it started swirving out of the way, they panicked and ran for it. The truck finally managed to stop, and this time, thankfully, it didn't destroy anything, and nobody was hurt.
Doofenshmirtz got out of the truck, and unloaded his many pizzas to share with the Tri-State Area. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you...the world's tastiest pizza ever!" He shouted to them as he unboxed them and began setting up his own table. The people all became very excited, believing it to be Phineas and Ferb's pizza. "That's right! Come and get it! Only $5 per pizza."
Everyone formed a line in front of the table, with their wallets out and their mouths watering. Everybody who was anybody was on that line (guess Cleveland doesn't count) and everyone bought at least 10 boxes. Some even bought as much as 20.
They were all so busy gobbling down their pizzas that they failed to notice that they were quickly gaining weight. Their stomachs were expanding beyond anybody's belief. Everyone shot up and went from 180 to 380 or 200 to 400 pounds in just a few moments. And they still kept going. "It's working! It's working!!" Doofenshmirtz said quietly to himself. "Now that you have sampled my delicious concauction, you will have to do whatever I say if you want to get some more!"
The mucnhing and eating suddenly stopped. "Wait a minute." One guy said as he and everyone else there looked up at the doctor. "You mean...you want us to work for you to get more pizzas!?"
"That's right. You and all of your little friends will have to work for me, and in exchange, you won't have to pay a single cent for your pizzas! Now, your first task -- help me take over the Tri-State Area and remake it in my own twisted image!!" He laughed maniacally waiting for them to agree to his terms. Unfortunately, all they agreed on was that they wanted more pizza.
"Um...how about you give us more pizza, or we kill you." One man said flatly to him, taking out a giant bat, ready to beat him up.
"Uh...you do what?"
"OK that's it. Get him!" He shouted and in an instant, everybody took out bats and started running after the doctor. Said man took the hint and started running down the street, screaming like a little girl.
They all ran as fast as their little legs could carry them. But before they did, they stole more of Doofenshmirtz's pizzas, and continued to chow down on them as they chased the scientist down Maple Drive towards Phineas and Ferb's house. Eventually, they did get tired and couldn't run anymore, which made Dr. Doofeshmirtz believe he could gain the upper hand. But, one of them managed to throw his bat at him and caused him to be knocked unconscious, which gave them enough time to tackle him and pin him to the ground. Now they were even heavier than ever, some tipping the scales at over 600 pounds, and were literally crushing Dr. D under the weight of their bodies.
"Ahh, you are squshing me tiny, fragile body!" He screamed as one guy sat on him. "Let me up! Let me up!"
"No way, man! We want more of your pizzas, but we ain't workin' for you to get them! So either take the dang money or leave!"
What nobody realized was that they were now attacking Dr. Doofenshmirtz on Phineas and Ferb's lawn, and they didn't even notice that Phineas and Ferb were ready to sell their pizzas. "Wow, it looks like a full house." Phineas said as he took his bullhorn out. "Step right up, folks! For the tastiest and healthiest pizza in the entire world! No longer will you have to worry about having to buy bigger clothes because this taste sensation is guarenteed to shrink your waistline half an inch per slice or your money back!"
The guys attacking Doofenshmirtz suddenly looked up at Phineas and Ferb and saw the pizzas. "Hey, those two boys over there have more pizzas." One said. "Let's get 'em!" They all ran over to the stand as fast as their now severely heavy legs could carry them, and they each bought a box. They were expecting the weight to continue putting on, but instead, as soon as they took that first bite, they all felt slightly lighter. Delighted and slightly confused, they continued eating until their first pizza was devoured.
Suddenly, the extra weight that was padded on their bodies was beginning to melt off. "Oh my gosh, this is unbelievable!" One of them shouted out. "It's as if this pizza is magically shrinking our bodies without us having to exercise in a gym or anything."
"This stuff's doing what NBC could never do!" Another guy shouted out as everyone lined up to buy more of Phineas and Ferb's creation.
"That's right, folks! Come get them while they're hot! Single file, please. You'll all get your turn." They were selling like Michael Jackson's Thriller album. "Only $5 per pizza!" Even so, they still made a fortune once all of the pizzas were sold. After they were, everybody began enjoying them and most of them ended up actually losing most of the weight they had gained from eating Doofenshmirtz pizzas.
Once they were all finished, and...for the most part, thin again, they turned to Doofenshmirtz, who had now gotten up and dusted himself off. "Why are you all looking at me like that!?"
They all grabbed something hard to hit him with him, and stared him down. "Get him." A guy said quietly but fiercely as they all screamed out and started chasing after him again, which caused Doofenshmirtz to scream out and start running for his life, while Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and every other kid on the block were left there, utterly confused out of their minds.
"What just happened?" Phineas asked, hoping for an answer.
"Apparently we created a pizza that helps make fat people really thin really fast." Isabella replied.
"Wow, that's so cool!"
"So why are they going after that old guy?" Buford interjected.
"Don't know. Don't care. Let's just enjoy this pizza. Hey," Phineas looked on the table and realized that there was only 1 pizza box left. "There's only one box left. Oh well, we created it. I guess we should get to enjoy it too." He took a pizza cutter and cut the pizza into 11 slices, 1 for each of the Fireside Girls including Isabella, 1 for Phineas, 1 for Ferb, 1 for Baljeet, and 1 for Buford. Each took their pizza slice and took a bite into it, enjoying it. "Wow, this is even better than I imagined!"
"I know! It's like the taste is dancing in my mouth!" Isabella cried out. "This is amazing! But, aren't you worried that we're going to end up like those other guys, and end up unhealthily thin?"
"No. I think that only happens to really fat people." Phineas responded.
"OK then." Isabella put her pizza piece down and counted up the money that they had earned by selling their pizzas. "Wow, we made a killing! We made over $1,000 by selling these pizzas! Do you think we could make that much tomorrow?"
"We could." Phineas said. "But I don't plan on it."
"Why know?"
"Well, you know me. I like to keep moving forward. But this was awesome! I can't believe we actually invented a pizza that makes people lose weight just by eating it! I say this day is declared a success! Don't you think?"
"You read my mind, Phineas." And so everybody went back to eating their pizzas, enjoying every last bite of it. Once they were done, they weren't sure of what to do next. So Ferb decided to say something to end the show.
"Did you know that Mississippi was voted the "fattest state in the country" in 2008?" He asked his friends, to which he received several shakes of the head.
"Hmm, that's interesting to know."
End of Episode 4a!
Well, what did you expect? This is an 11-minute segment, so of course it's much shorter! But I still hope you liked it!
Next Time: Phineas and Ferb throw a slumber party!