The Queen And The Soldier

by Sleflar

Isabelle McTavish is back at Hogwarts, much to her incredible disdain. The events of last year still heavy on her heart, she is forced into the madness that seems to inhabit the school every year, but she would sooner soldier through a hundred years of chaos than have to look into those selfish and cold blue eyes ever again.

4. Fragile Bird

Chapter 4: Fragile Bird

After Isabelle and Draco had purchased everything that they had needed for school, including Isabelle's spoils which included a brand new broom that was a very slight but nessecary upgrade from the one she had gotten two years ago, they returned to her home via Floo powder. Dinner was on the table within seconds after their arrival and the family sat together, somewhat of a ritual they had. You would be lucky to have been able to cut the tension between her and Draco with a hacksaw. Thankfully all Isabelle was thinking about was if the rest of the new Hogwarts students were going to be as careless with their well-beings as that boy on Knocturn Alley. She shook her head looking dismayed.

"Something wrong, dear?" Her mother asked softly.

"No, nothing really. Just thinking about someone I met today."

"Oh?" Her mother chided.

"Yeah, he's not important, just wondering if the new influx of people to Hogwarts is going to bring even more people like that."

"Oh. Mudblood?" her mother responded as the expression on her face turned into one that a person would wear if they had been presented with a plate full of horned slugs for dinner.

Isabelle shrugged, she wasn't a big fan of mudbloods, she tolerated them, but she knew her parents absolute hatred for them was a big part of what they were. "No, well, maybe. Not sure really. Mostly just stupid." She mused as she cut into her piece of roast beef.

Draco smirked, his hair fell over his blue eyes a bit as he laughed quietly, Isabelle had never had much patience with people she deemed to be stupid nor did she have much sympathy or remorse for them when they were in a rough situation. He looked at her unaware as to if he was permitted to speak to her again but decided now was as good a time as any. "What did he do that was so stupid?"

Isabelle loved these moments, the ones where she had a chance to pull the rug out from under him. "Oh, you didn't see him?" She asked, a little bit taken back, "Silly git was running after you when you wet into Borgin and Burke's today."

"How did you know I went to Borgin and Burke's..." He said quietly, more of a blind statement than a question.

Isabelle laughed and began the usual farce that was her current friendship with him, "We spent practically the entire day together shopping and you decided to slip away, so I followed you to Knocturn Alley wondering why you had left without saying anything." She took another bite of her food, "I'm surprised you didn't see him actually. Short little blonde boy? On the border of Diagon and Knocturn, sitting at a bench with his mother and father? I mean you looked around before you went in the store." She paused and smiled at him in a rather mothering manner. "Might I add you get better at watching who is following you? You're a tad predictable."

Her parents chuckled, "Don't forget how long you two have been friends, Isabelle." her father said with a smile on his face, "Maybe he's not predictable, you just know him too well."

"Perhaps," She said, as she continued her story, "He saw you go in there, asked his parents what is was, got mad at them because I can only assume they said he shouldn't go after you, then he proceeded to throw his hands up in the air and run after you to save you from the peril that is Borgin and Burkes."

"Selflessly running to save someone? A Gryffindor no doubt." Spat her father.

"Probably one of Potter's lot." Draco added, the venom in his voice eminent as well.

"No, I don't think so. I'd never seen him, I think he's new." Isabelle chimed in, but her voice was lost to the Gryffindor, Harry Potter,Mudblood, Idiot bashing that ensued after she had made her first comment about the boy.

Finally her mother looked at her and responded with something that was actually relevent. "A future Gryffindor then, most likely." Her mother added in an equally nasty tone.

She shrugged, "We'll see." she said in a very nonchalant manner. "Anyways, I knocked him back and hauled him to his mother and father, giving every last one of them hell for being so moronic before I left and continued shopping."

"You shouldn't have bothered, Isabelle." Her father said, "Why would you bother trying to help, if it were me I would have watched and laughed than gone into the store and had a little fun." His eyes glittered darkly as he chuckled to himself, Isabelle considered throwing the remainder of her dinner at him.

"Oh, well. You know me. I don't go into shops like that some of the people in there can be real freaks." Isabelle replied, shrugging off her father's creepy statement.

"You seem to have a knack for trying to save people Isabelle, rather uncommon for a Slytherin don't you think?" Draco mused, clearly a weak attempt to pull the rug out from under her feet this time.

"Oh now that's not true. You'd save me wouldn't you?"

"Yeah but I actually give a damn about you. Not to mention you're pretty good at handling yourself anyways."

"Just because I'm a Slytherin doesn't mean I have to be an uncaring coward. Besides who know's maybe that boy will make Slytherin or something."

"Doubtful." they all said at the same time.

"It was a rather big maybe." Isabelle grumbled as she looked at her food and pushed it away, her father's comment had destroyed her appetite, "He was like a little kid, mum." she shot a lrather forlorn look at her mother, "Helpless and ignorant, not to mention small, chock it up to my fierce maternal instincts."

"You are quite protective of young ones, must be genetic." Her mother sighed as she pushed away her food, "Isabelle you have to eat you're wasting away."

"I gorged myself on sweets today, afraid I'm not very hungry."

Her parents shook their heads, her love of sweets was infamous around their house. Thankfully Draco didn't seem to be eating much either for whatever reason, so her story was accepted as truth as she excused herself and walked to her room.

When Isabelle reached her room, she walked over to wall at which her favorite instruments were displayed. Seeing as she was an only child who was homeschooled in a rather remote location, she had taken it upon herself to learn a multitude of instruments each had it's own cubby in the wall, or a case or stand. Her collection varied from cello's to guitars to violins as well as flutes and various other wind instruments including bagpipes not to mention her beautiful grand piano which sat in the center of her collection. All the time she had spend learning instruments, she would sing. She must have put thousands of hours alone into singing for practise, not even counting singing for fun.

Looking out the window as she grabbed her guitar case as well as her flute, she had noticed that as the day went by it had gone from scorching hot to quite chilly and the temperature was dropping rapidly and there was now a storm brewing on the horizon, "Brilliant," she groaned as she lugged the instruments back to her bed, "No sleep, hellish nightmares, Diagon Alley, Knockturn Alley and now a fucking thunderstorm? Just bloody brilliant. Can my day get much worse?!" She cried out to the emptyness that was her room.

Removing the flute from it's case, she cast a charm to make it play along with her guitar and whatever she chose to sing. Music had always been a way of self expression as well as a way for her to relieve stress, sitting on her bed as she removed her beautiful black guitar from it's case Isabelle idly began tuning it. Within moment's she was singing one of the many haunting gaelic songs she usually chose when she couldn't bring herself to sing something light and cheerful.

Draco had spent a bit more time at the table than Isabelle, at least trying to eat his food but it was a lost cause, all he ever felt was nauseated anymore.

"Draco, dear." Mrs. McTavish, said to him a bit worriedly, "You should really eat more... You look terrible." She was right, and he knew it. The clothing he wore was noticably smaller on him and his skin seemed tighter on his angular face, hands and wrists slimmer than usual the expression her wore was one of exhaustion even tired even when he tried his best to look lively and alert. All he wanted to do was go lay down and try not to think about what was going on at his house. He thanked his lucky stars for Isabelle and her family, for him they had always been a haven in the chaos that seemed to encircle his life day after day.

"Sorry Mrs. McTavish, I just don't feel well. One too many sweets I guess." his lie was so blatantly obvious it was almost depressing, but they played along.

"Alright dear, you're excused."

He walked through the well lit corridor to the staircaise that lead up to his room, which was the only room that was used as a bedroom in the general vicinity around Isabelle's. At one time this had been so convenient to them and their friendship but now the walk there was a practical minefield. Isabelle's temper had been terrible latley and she looked half as bad as he did, but she hid it well with makeup and buckets of fake smiles. He wondered if there was anything that really could make her look happy anymore, the way she used to all the time when they were young and carefree, completely unaware of who their parents were and what they themselves were expected to become.

He was so incredibly envious of her. Her parents never pressured her into becoming a full fledged Death Eater. Isabelle knew what they were and what they stood for, but she had been able to bide time, saying she didn't feel comfortable joining until she had finished her schooling and was an adult. Draco didn't have that luxury, not when the Dark Lord himself was squatting in his house.

When he had received his mark she cried, she worried for him horribly because he had never been able to take proper care of himself, at least in her eyes, which lead her to think he was weak, which he was. Death Eaters didn't look out for the weak ones in their group, no one in their lot could care about him the way she always had, aside from perhaps his mother but even she couldn't save him from everything, not alone.

As he walked through the stone walled corridor he thought of his past, never had there been a time that Draco had been in trouble or pain that Isabelle hadn't been there for him, either through letters and gifts if he was at school, or at his side if it was a holiday. The instant she had found out he was marked, and she had pulled herself back together after her onslaught of tears, she had considered becoming a one of them just to take care of him but he had stopped her he had begged and pleaded and explained and much to his surprise she had listened. He wondered if this had been their families plan. He remembered what she said that day;

I'll have to join too then. I have no choice now.

No you don't Isabelle.

She had faked another smile as the tears brimmed her eyes again, I don't have a choice anymore Draco, they've got you. She was about to turn on her heel and walk down to her parents, no doubt to announce that she too would like to become a Death Eater, when he grabbed her and shoved her up against a wall with enough force to scare her into listening as he spoke.

Isabelle. You can't. You're too fucking brave to be a Death Eater, you understand me? We're all cowards that go along with what he tells us. You're a smart mouthed, pig-headed and stubborn girl who talks back. You'd get yourself murdered or tortured within an inch of your life within a minute, at the very least a Crucio or two, and honestly, they'd probably make me do it, because that's how fucked up they are. You want to do me a favor? Don't follow me down this path, because I can't keep my sanity if I have to watch you get hurt or turn rotten.

Isabelle hadn't been able to look at him the same since then,and since near the end of the last school year she had hardly been able to stand the thought of him, which in turn caused him to become a worse and worse person. Isabelle had always seen a good heart in him no matter how evil he tried to act, she had always worked herself to exhaustion trying to lure the kindness that hid in his heart back out again. But if she gave up, the last person who would ever hold onto who he was gave up on him, why should he even try anymore?

That was all he told himself now when he would do something evil and he recognized it. Isabelle gave up on you, she doesn't love you anymore, not even as a friend you're disgusting. Why should you care either. He sighed and continued the walk up the stairs. His mind returning to reality just in time to hear her siniging hauntingly in gaelic as she played one of her intruments. He wanted to go and listen like he had done when they were young and she was learning every instrument under the sun. She would sing and play and he would watch and admire, he never had much musical talent, he would very infrequently wrote something down that might sound... Nice,at best, but mostly he was just a spectator.

As he wandered through the halls past the short staircause that lead up to her room, he wondered if she might be some freak breed of part siren part wizard, he had never heard a more beautiful and yet heartwrenching sound. He had absolutley no idea what she was saying, but the her tones always seemed to get the point across. This was a song of loss and sorrow, it had no hint of ever being happy again. Within moments he found himself climbing the staircaise trying to keep as quiet as possible as he stopped at her door for a moment and listened to the rest of the song while he leaned on the stone wall, his eyes closed.

The guitar stopped playing and her song turned into a hum that he could barley hear, he could only assume she was grabbing another instrument; until the door opned. Shit. She walked out the door and he froze despratley wishing he was invisible as she turned to look at up him. After a moment of him staring down at her and trying to look nonchalant, he exhaled heavily and asked "How did you know I was here?"

"I was going to talk to my parents and get a drink actually."

"Oh." he mumbled, looking over her shoulder and back into her room in a desperate attempt not to make eye conact.

"You stood here and listened to me sing a ten minute ballad in gaelic, didn't you?" she said attempting to keep her face expressionless but her clear amusement seeped through the cracks of her metaphorical mask.

He scratched his neck and looked at the floor, "Maybe...Why didn't you just apparate downstairs."

"Why didn't you just apparate to your room?" She had him there.

"Thunderstorm tonight." He mused, as he despratley tried to change the subject.

"Yeah, right, you know, as much as I'd love to stand outside my room and awkwardly talk to you about the weather, I'm parched." Isabelle walked away from him and down the corridor that lead to the stairs.

Later on Draco found himself sitting in his bed writing and listening through the floor to her play and sing, he had cast a spell that made distant voices seem louder and concentrated it on hers, around nine o'clock he found himself drifting into a blissful sleep, the best he'd had in months despite the day's events.

Isabelle wasn't much of a sleeper these days, she often stayed up late in the night and played, it didn't help much that thunder and lightning raged outside across the sky. Isabelle wasn't one for situations she couldn't control, they scared her. It was around midnight when she decided to make an attempt at sleep. It took a while, but she finally drifted away with a troubled expression on her face as her dreaded nightmares returned.

It had only been an hour when she woke up, screaming bloody murder and thrashing in her blankets, of course Draco had forgotten to break off his spell so her screams echoed inside his head and before he could even think, he slipped on his discarded button up shirt grabbed his wand and sprinted to her room hearing her wimpering and hyperventalating all the way there. When he reached the door it was locked, and he rapped his wand on the doorhandle firecly as he whispered "Alohamora." He didn't give a damn if Isabelle didn't like him coming in her room, or being near her, or any of that bullshit, they were there for eachother when they needed eachother, and that was how it was going to be, how it always was.

She was sitting up In her bed wearing a white camisole, her hair shrouded around her face, hands around her legs and head on her knees. He stood there for a moment, taking in one of her very uncommon moments of humility. She didn't notice he was there until a soft bubble of light appeared over her nightstand. "Draco." she mumbled in a weak voice, "Go away, please."

"No."

"Please. I don't want you here."

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not a reason and you know it."

"Do you really want to know why?"

"Of course I do. Do you think I enjoy that you hate my guts and push me away all the time? Isabelle for fucks sake look what's happening to us, we're sickly and weak from exhaustion we need to have eachother as a rock or we're screwed."

"You won't need me in a week anyways," she said, trying to throw the topic, "we'll go back to Hogwarts and you'll treat me like you did last year, either like property or like a henchman. You turn into someone ugly in that place. Someone I don't know."

"That's who I have to be when I'm there."

Isabelle shook her head and pulled all her hair to one side, "No it's not. Our parents are both of the same status, and I was kind to most people."

"Not many of them like you, I saw Finnigan's face when you waved at him. I noticed that crazy girl Lavender didn't talk to you."

"Do you think that they would be like that if I wasn't carted around the whole year by one of the most hated students there? Do you think they would have had the reaction to me they did if I didn't bear the Slytherin crest on all of my clothes."

"You were put into Slytherin for a reason."

"Because that's what I had to do." She grumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing. Go away theres no thunder anymore and I'm fine."

"You woke up screaming. You had a nightmare."

"No I didn't."

"Don't lie to me and pretend your strong, no one is as strong as you pretend to be."

"How did you hear me, the walls are stone and even I'm not that loud."

"First of all, you're the loudest person I've ever met im my life. Not to menition I was listening to you sing...Through an amplification spell," He said sheepishly, "and I fell asleep. Then you screamed and it woke me up, and you were crying so I came running." he looked at her bed "Can I sit with you?"

She looked up at him and sighed, not wanting to argue anymore, she moved herself aside and gestured for him to sit with her. "Go for it."

Isabelle rolled over, expecting him to just sit. Instead he laid himself down on her bed, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her over to him, her head fitted perfectly under his jaw as they lay there together. There had always been a closeness between her and Draco, something she wasnt surprised to see was clearly turning into some sort of romantic affection on his side. She wasn't so sure about hers, she didn't even want to think about romance at a time like this. She didn't have the energy.

"Have you been reading the paper hear anything about that teacher?" He mumbled softly in her ear.

Isabelle's face contorted, was Draco really this bad with women? "Uh, yeah? The one that taught everyone about Muggles? The one who quit?"

Draco squeezed her closer "Something like that."

"I'm not surprised." Isabelle said quetly. "Why're you bringing this up, to let me know so I can swap out of muggle studies?" She laughed a bit and when he didn't laugh back she rolled over to look at him, he was staring at her wild eyed and shocked.

"Isabelle!"

"What?!"

"How could you say a thing like that, she was murdered."

"So? People die now, I hate to say this, but I've gotten used to it and after that bit in the Daily Prophet she wrote she should have expected it to happen. I feel bad, but it was her own fault."

"You should have seen her..." his hands trembled around her.

"What do you mean, I should have seen her? I've been to Hogwarts."

"No." he shook his head, "She was hanging up side down over the table in my den, knocked out."

Her arms flew around him instinctivley and she held him as tight as she could, "They didn't make you..."

"No, god no... But I watched when they killed her. I saw her lifless body slam headfirst onto the table..."

"And then?" She mumbled into his neck, "What happned?"

"Honestly Iz? I fell backwards out of the chair onto my ass absolutley horrified." He paused and swallowed, looking out her window, "They want Bellatrix and my mother to kill Nymphadora Tonks. My cousin, my mother's sister's daughter, because she married a werewolf, in order to...How did he put it exactly, 'Prune away those parts of our family tree that threaten the rest.' I believe." he sighed, "I mean I don't like her, and I think she's a freak. But god that's harsh. To force family to kill family."

"Remus Lupin?" Isabelle mused. "Honestly I admire Nymphadora's mother, what was her name, Andromeda?" Draco gave her a weird look, he'd been trained to think Andromeda was a freak since he was young, so of course their feelings about her weren't the same, but isabelle continued her thought "She left this life and is fighting for what she truly believes to be right, dunno, makes me feel a little bit less insane. Like evil isn't heredetary and I don't have to go down this path if I don't want to."

Draco scoffed, "What, you're gonna pull an Andromeda on everyone and leave? Be disowned with nothing and no one to look after you, poor and pennyless on the streets?"

Isabelle looked at him rather annoyed, as if she hadn't thought this all out already. "Maybe I will. I can take care of myself. I've already considered selling some of my jewels and tavelling abroad then starting up a potions store somewhere. Not to mention the money I have that's in my private account at Gringotts. When this is all over, I just might leave. If I'm alive. "She paused and looked up at him, "If you're alive at the end of all this you can come with me wherever I go if you wish, but you don't have to, and I'm not asking you to choose. We'll always be friends at least, no matter what life I choose."

"My parents would kill me."

Isabelle shook her head, "Your mother loves you."

"My father?"

"I honestly havn't got him figured out yet, I think he likes to throw his weight around because you know who has him wrapped around his finger and it makes him feel bigger than he really is, but other than that. I don't know much about your father."

"Either way," he mumbled softly as he ran his hand through her hair, "He's a good man."

Isabelle nodded in response but said nothing more on the topic of Lucious Malfoy, the truth was she really didn't like him at all. "You mother wouldn't ever let your father hurt you, even if he tried to disown you she'd help you in secret. She'd double cross the Dark lord just to save your skin."

Mmm, he grumbled, "Back on the topic of why you hate me, Isabelle?"

"Shit." she said as she laughed, "Still sharp as a fucking needle, eh Draco?"

"I try."

"You helped kill your headmaster. You lead Death Eaters into a school to kill people. The Draco I know would never have done those things, in my eyes for a while you were lost, but I've realized now that you're just teetering on the fence, swaying from side to side. I'm more afraid than I am hateful, I don't want to lose you."

"Isabelle. Your parents are Death Eaters. They murder innocent people, kill mudbloods for sport, take delight in torturing anyone who disagree's with them. How can you hate me for that and not them."

"Because they see it as the right thing to do, and you don't."

"That's it? That's a pretty pathetic reason"

"No it's not.. I don't fully agree with what they do to people, actually it scares me beyond words. But they're already so disgustingly warped beyond saving that I stopped caring a long time ago and just learned to live with them, they're good to you and me, in a sense. I mean I can only assume your seeking solace here was our parents idea, because god, look at you." she gestured to his frail body and continued, "But you... You used to be sweet and kind, you used to intentionally get hurt and stay that way for my attention-"

Blush bloomed on his face, "How did you know?"

She smiled "You think I didn't notice? I may have been young but I wasn't naïve, anyways, you've always been good at heart and that's how I've always known you. Now you're turning sour and I can't handle it, I'd rather give you up entirely and make you hate my guts than sit idly by and helplessly and watch you turn yourself to shit."

"That's what all those nightmares are about, isn't it?"

"What?"

"You trying to save me from turning rotten."

She paused, and thought of the content of her nightmares, "Something along those lines, yeah."

"I thought they were about something different. You're less selfish than I thought."

"What did you think they were about."

"It's not important."

Isabelle propped herself up by her elbow and looked at him, "I told you something, you tell me."

"I thought you were having dreams that you were in trouble and you needed me, okay? I was up here for about half an hour listening to your sleep talking, and that was the impression I got. I had no idea you were trying to save me." He looked into her eyes, the light was casting a lovely gold hue on her beautiful face, "Just out of curiosity, did you.. You know, save me?"

He watched her as she looked away and her eyes filled with tears and and color appeared on her chest as well as her cheeks, "No." she managed to choke out hoarsely before letting her head drop back onto her pillow. "I didn't save you, and I'm worried I can't."

He smiled slightly and sat up, as he did Isabelle noticed something crinkling in his pocket. "What's that, in your pocket?"

"What?!" he asked a bit alarmed, when he looked down to note that is was just the paper he had been writing on earlier that day. He stopped to looked at her and they laughed, they knew what he had been thinking. Curse awkward teenage moments. "That," he said as he tried to stop laughing, "is just something I was writing earlier."

"What is it?" Isabelle squeaked, she always loved everything he put on paper.

"Nothing."

"Lemme see!"

"No!"

She drew her wand and pointed it at him, he did the same as they made stupid faces at each other in an attempt to look serious. "C'mon let me see!" she cried.

"Izzz." He groaned and grabbed it out of his pocket before rolling over.

She leapt ontop of him and dove for his hands, "Give it!" She shouted as she laughed, he easily flipped her off and held her down.

"It's irrelevant!" he said laughing a little bit,

"If it's so irrelevant why not show me?" Again, she had him there.

"I wrote a poerm, or a song really, that doesn't matter after what you told me."

"Aww! You wrote a song? You havn't in years."

"It's not very good, I wrote it while I was waiting for you to wake up yesterday morning, and finished it tonight, but It doesn't make sense now."

"Show me! We never keep anything from eachother."

"I don't want to." he grumbled and touched the paper with his wand quickly, lighting it on fire.

"You're no fun."

"I know. I'm a boring old stiff.

She smiled and rolled back over, so she wasn't facing him, but she let him stay beside her. The pair of them sat for a while watching the storm out of her bedroom windows while he tried to comfort her whenever the thunder was loud, which seemed to be happening more and more frequently. The whole while Draco was thinking she must be masochistic or something, just sitting here listening to one of the things that she fears most, watching it get closer. He could feel the fluttering of her heart get harder and faster every time it came close. With all the things witches and wizards could do, like block out sound or momentarily deafen themselves, or even just black out a window she sat there and watched it all happening around her, either she was too proud to succumb to fear or she was just brave enough to face it. He admired her.

But even the bravest people can feel enough fear to make them shirk away.

A massive flash of lightning appeared feet away from her bedroom window, and immediatley after, thunder rocked the house. It sounded like massive dragons which were made of rocks wrestling in a circle around the manor as the smell of singed earth penetrated through the closed window. Isabelle screamed, a horrible sound if you're right next to her. She could produce such an incredible volume no doubt a byproduct of learning to play her bagpipes. He clapped his hands over her ears, sparing her from the sound as he curled himself around her.

Draco Malfoy didn't have a particularly pretty voice, but it wasn't bad, just amazingly average. It was exactly ike the majority of seventeen year old boy's voices; a little groggy and scratchy, not to mention they sounded like they were trying a bit too hard. But they always seemed to be so sweet, gentle and full of love at the same time. Removing one of his hands from her ear, he softly began to sing to her the first thing that had popped into his mind. The song he himself had written only hours earlier;

When she sleeps
There is a fever dream
It brings a night terror
To harm this fragile bird

She speaks in tongues
Her words they come undone
And with a wayward mind
she struggles through the night

All that I can do
Is hope she makes it through
Through the night

These cold nightmares
They make her worse for wear
Lost in the dark
She's got a heavy heart

And when she wakes
In her fragile state
Well, she calls my name
Hoping that I keep her safe
All that I can do
Is hope she makes it through

through the night

When he was done, she smiled but had nothing to say. She just rolled over and put one of her arms over his side and held herself to him, the thunder was rolling away now, past her house getting quieter with every boom and crack. He still had her in her arms, whe she spent the rest of the night. Neither of them experienced another nightmare.

*** I don't own this song, it's by City and Colour, and it's called 'Fragile Bird.' I may be incorporating more songs into various chapters, I simply had to put this into this one, because I stumbled upon it while writing Isabelle's nightmares and I just thought it belonged here. ***

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