JJ groaned in frustration as she looked at the stack of paperwork on her desk. While she had gotten over her stomach bug fairly quickly, saving for mid-morning bouts of nausea, the bug had really hit Rossi and Hotch hard, effectively grounding their teams for the next few days. Shaking her head, she took the next file off the stack and began to work through it.
Her phone buzzed and she picked it up to see who was texting her. So, are you tired of all the paperwork yet? She shook her head at Erin's question and quickly typed a response.
Of course I am. I missed out on so much of this when I was the media liaison. But what can I do?
Go to lunch with me?
JJ grinned at the prospect of getting out of the office for a little bit. A better proposition, I've never heard. How do you plan on accomplishing it?
She waited for Erin's answer to come. Finally, two minutes later, her phone buzzed again. Like this. JJ felt her brow furrow a little at the cryptic remark and focused on her work. "Agent Jareau, I need to see you in my office, please." Turning, she looked up at Erin and fought to keep a smile off her face.
"Of course, Chief Strauss." She stood and smoothed her skirt, picking up her cell phone as she followed Erin out the doors and down the hall. "I take it we're using the stairs this afternoon."
"Would you expect anything different?" Erin looked back at JJ, a quick grin on her face. JJ just shook her head and followed her down to the parking garage. "So, would you like to head to Mai Thai?"
JJ slid in the passenger seat and nodded. "I adore any sort of Asian food."
"Good." Erin started her car and drove quickly into the city. Once inside the restaurant, they were soon seated and JJ looked over the menu. "Order whatever you like, lunch is on me."
"What?"
"I invited you out, I pick up the tab. Besides, this is a relatively cheap place for lunch." Erin smiled as she looked over the menu.
JJ decided on what she wanted and they put their order in a few minutes later. "So, have you heard anything from your kids?"
"Kacey emailed me yesterday. Victor's getting really serious with a woman that Kacey cannot stand. She wants to come stay with me, but he won't let her." Erin sipped at her tea and sighed. "At least I know she misses me."
"I hate to say this, but your ex-husband sucks. What did you see in him?"
"A way to escape the life I'd been living. My parents expected me to graduate college with my MRS degree and I didn't want that. And then I met Victor and he needed a trophy wife. He promised me that I could do whatever I wanted with my life as long as I stood by his side."
"So your parents left you alone after that?" Erin nodded and JJ frowned slightly.
"It could have been worse. At least he didn't make his cheating obvious until last year." The waitress brought out their food and Erin smiled at her. "Thank you. So, has Will been leaving you alone?"
"Surprisingly, yes. Sometimes, I wish that I had followed Gideon's leading and fallen for Spence."
"Did you love Will?"
"Yes, for a time. But I wonder now what about him I loved. Maybe Henry was keeping us together." JJ picked up her chopsticks and began to eat. "I just want someone who is sweet and kind, who understands why I chose to come back to the BAU."
"You came back because they're your family, and family should mean everything in the world to us." Erin took a bite of her food and looked at the table. "I wish, but then…"
"What?" JJ reached across the table and caressed Erin's hand softly.
"I wish that everything could have been different." It was the most open she'd been with JJ, and she smiled encouragingly at the other woman. "If I had been nicer, better, maybe I wouldn't have been labeled frigid."
"He called you that?"
"Yes, many times. I never really got a handle on how certain things were supposed to happen, behind closed doors. As I said, I was one focused on more academic pursuits rather than carnal ones. I know I disappointed Victor when he found out I had the experience of a nun. I never denied him access to me, much though I didn't like it."
JJ was stunned by the woman's admission to her and by the trust Erin was placing in her. By revealing something so very intimate, Erin was telling her that she had faith in the ability JJ had to keep secrets. "I'm sorry," she blurted out.
"For what?" Erin looked at her, puzzlement radiating off her features.
"That you never found someone who could make your cork pop." Erin swallowed a giggle and JJ laughed lightly at the reaction. "Sex is amazing when you find someone in tune with your wants and desires."
"That's what I've heard. And seen. In our offices." JJ gasped. "Why do you think we have the current frat rules? David Rossi could never keep it in his pants after he and Caroline split. I caught him with one of the newer agents in the conference room at one of the Christmas parties."
"Really? Is that why you guys fight so much?" Erin nodded. "Well, he shouldn't have done something so stupid in plain sight. It's his fault now that we can't openly date our colleagues."
Erin just shook her head. "There's life outside the Bureau. No one should be so wrapped up in their work that they feel they have to be married to it as well."
"Even if they find their soulmate?"
Erin blushed and looked away from JJ. "You believe in a soulmate?"
"I do. I know there's someone out there meant just for me. Will wasn't that person, so they must still be out there, waiting for me to find them." JJ sighed. "I'm a firm believer in fairytale endings."
"But what happens after 'they lived happily ever after'? What kind of life do they lead together?" Erin looked up at her, her eyes full of emotion. "There needs to be a foundation to the castle in the clouds."
"If you love someone, you make it work, no matter what. I should have seen this split coming years ago, you know. When I told Will I was pregnant, he joined us in New York. He was quite adamant about my leaving the field right then and there. I swear he thought I was some fragile china doll that would miscarry at the drop of a hat."
"A number of us were worried about that during your pregnancy, Jennifer. Most women choose to go on desk duty when they find themselves pregnant. Losing a child is devastating."
Jennifer caught Erin in her half-truth, knowing she meant that she had been worried, but couldn't admit as much yet. "Did you lose a baby?" Erin met her eye steadily as she nodded.
"They don't prepare you for the ache in your soul as you say goodbye to the life growing in you. He had a number of birth defects that, how did the doctor put it? Oh, yes, were not compatible with life. It was a blessing I went into pre-term labor, he said, as John would have just suffered horribly had he made it to full term and I'd delivered him live."
JJ longed to ask why Erin was telling her all this, so soon, and then remembered her aching need for a friend, for someone to confide in, who wouldn't judge her. "I didn't know. Oh god, Erin, I'm so sorry."
"I got to hold him, for a little while, before they took him away. He was so tiny, so beautiful. And when Agent Hotchner informed me of your pregnancy, I was truly afraid for you. John would have been the same age as Jack." JJ felt the first tears slip down her cheeks and she flicked them away with her knuckle. "I don't mean to be so morose, I'm sorry. See, I told you I'm not good at this."
"You're being honest, Erin. Honesty is painful at times. Is that why you were on a leave of absence when Elle started with our division?" Erin nodded. "No one even knew. Hotch and Gideon never had anything positive to say about you. Why did you never step in?"
"And expose myself to the wolves looking for a fault in me? No thank you. It's hard enough being open and vulnerable to you." She touched her hair self-consciously. "So, you went to college on a soccer scholarship?"
"Yeah, I had quite the mean kick back in the day."
"How come Agent Hotchner didn't ask you to help out with Jack's soccer team then?"
"I suppose he thought I wouldn't want to, given that I wasn't with the Bureau at the time." JJ felt her phone buzz and took it out. "Excuse me, I have to see who this text it from." Erin pursed her lips as she nodded and JJ smiled at her. The text was from Morgan, wondering where she was. She handed the phone over to the other woman. "Do you want to answer him?"
"Really?" JJ just raised her eyebrow in challenge, to see if Erin would let herself be spontaneous. "Okay." She tapped away on the screen and then hit send before handing the phone back.
"It's the end of the world, the Ice Queen has me running errands with her?" she read aloud, frowning slightly at Erin.
"Do you really want the others to know you're willingly at lunch with me? They'd think you were insane. I'm perfectly content to remain in the background. Besides, I know they're waiting for me to drop the other shoe, so to speak." There was a deep sadness lingering behind Erin's smile and JJ felt a pang of regret at ever thinking the woman cold and uncaring.
The waitress brought the bill and Erin quickly stuffed some money inside. "We have to head back so soon?"
"It's been forty five minutes, Jennifer. I can't take you away from your work for much longer."
"Yes, but if Morgan thinks I'm running errands with you, we could spend another hour together. To come back too quickly would make them wonder as well."
"And here I thought Ms. Garcia was the persistent one on your team. All right, we'll stop at Joyce before we head back. There's a dress I've had my eye on, and I'd like an honest opinion of it."
JJ smiled. "That sounds fun. Let's go." She stood and waited for Erin to join her. They walked back out to the car and Erin drove to the secluded boutique. "This is such a hidden gem," she whispered as they parked.
"One of my assistants mentioned it to me a few years back and I've shopped here exclusively ever since." Erin held open the door for JJ and then led her over to the dress. "What do you think, is it too young for me?"
JJ assessed the dress critically and then took it down from the rack and held it against Erin's body. They both blushed faintly as the back of JJ's hand brushed against Erin's breast. "I can't tell without seeing it on you," she finally said. "Go, try it on and let me see how you look in it."
Erin nodded and disappeared into a dressing room. JJ checked out some blouses while she waited, finding quite a few that she really liked. "Well, what do you think now?" She turned and watched as Erin nervously smoothed the full skirt. The emerald green fabric accentuated her light blue eyes, while the waist made her small frame seem even slighter. The neckline, while modest, was still low cut enough to show off her cleavage.
"This is the perfect dress for you, Erin. We'll have to find someone for you to date and you'll knock their socks off." Erin smiled and looked down at her feet. "You don't believe me."
"You almost make it sound like I'm pretty. I know that's not true, I see myself in the mirror every morning. All I want to know is if I look too ridiculous."
JJ reached out and touched Erin's shoulder gently. "You aren't just pretty, you aren't ridiculous looking, you are absolutely lovely." A single tear rolled down Erin's cheek and she brushed it away with her thumb. "Erin, honey, friends tell each other the truth in love. You look spectacular in that dress."
Erin sighed, her shoulders shrugging a little as she tried to stifle her tears. "I suppose this means I'm getting the dress. I'll just go and change and then we can get out of here." She slipped into the changing room once more and JJ hummed under her breath. When Erin rejoined her, her blouse was slightly askew and JJ fought the urge to straighten it. "Thank you."
To JJ's surprise, Erin reached out for her hand, clasping it tightly as they walked up to the register. Once she'd paid, they went out to the car and JJ found herself regretting having to let go of Erin's hand. "We should do this more often, Erin. I had a lot of fun this afternoon."
"I enjoyed myself as well. Just text me whenever you want to lunch." She tugged at her blouse a little. "Why does this feel so odd?"
"I think you may have misbuttoned it."
"Oh, right." Erin quickly rebuttoned the blouse correctly and JJ found her eyes drawn to the expanse of creamy skin that Erin revealed. Their eyes met once more as JJ followed the nimble fingers up her body and she blushed, looking out the window. "So, how much more paperwork do you have to do?"
"It seems like years' worth. We're assisting other teams as well, since they're going out on the field while we twiddle our thumbs waiting for Hotch and Rossi to get better." She smiled a little. "At least I get to be out of the office tomorrow. Morgan's letting me tag along on an interview with one of the serial killers at Fairview."
"That's a three hour drive. Will you be home in time to pick Henry up?"
"I didn't even think about that. Would you?"
"Sure. I'll have supper waiting, too. Does lasagna sound good?"
JJ nodded enthusiastically and they fell silent for the rest of the short drive. Erin managed to get her spot back and they got out. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow night, then." She looked at Erin as an awkward silence filled the parking garage. "I'm sorry, I have to do this." Stepping forward, she hugged Erin tightly for a few seconds.
"Jennifer?" she questioned as she pulled away from the embrace.
"You needed a hug, Erin. If Henry were here, he would have done so. Until tomorrow." Erin nodded and walked off, pausing to look over her shoulder as she waited for the elevator. JJ smiled and began to walk towards the elevator when the doors opened. Erin stepped inside and the doors closed before JJ could get there.
She waited for the next car and thought about her day. It had been so wonderful to spend it in the company of a friend, someone who understood the job she did. While there might be life outside the Bureau, few understood truly what they did and went through. JJ found herself humming once more and she stepped into the bullpen with a grin on her face.
"That glad to be rid of her, Jayje?" She turned to look at Penelope, the smile fading a little.
"Oh yeah, she was such a hardass today. We had to go to some stuffy restaurant and I took notes while everyone else was talking. And then she grilled me on my interview tomorrow. But, I suppose it's the least I can do. She did go down to New Orleans and rescue Henry with me." JJ set her purse on her desk and took a seat.
"She did?" Penelope sat on the edge of her desk, her arms akimbo. "You never told me that."
"What was there to tell? We were riding the elevator together when I got the text from Will, and she volunteered to go with me. I think she really has changed a little."
"I've been wondering about her. She smiled at me in the hallway yesterday, and it wasn't fake at all. I think she could be really nice, if she wanted to. There's something about her eyes."
JJ smiled at her friend. "You're becoming great at reading people, PG. Ever think about taking the classes and becoming one of us?"
She vehemently shook her head, her curls flying. "No. I'll stick to the electronic world I know so well. Does this mean I have to be nice to her, too?"
"I wonder what would happen if we were? I mean, we expect her to be awful and treat her in kind. Maybe if we treated her nicely, she would change." Penelope nodded as she stood, smoothing her skirt. "Hey, why don't you come over for supper tonight? I'm sure Henry would love to see his godmother."
"That sounds like fun, Jayje. We'll leave here at six?" JJ nodded and watched her leave before opening the next file in the stack that needed to be finished.
A shadow fell over her desk and she looked up to see Derek standing there. "Yes?" she asked shortly, putting down her pen. He just shook his head.
"Was your lunch break really that horrible?" he asked, smirking a little.
"Yeah, that's it Derek. It couldn't possibly be this pile of work I have to do, or the fact I'm going to be even further behind when I start researching Mark Paulson this afternoon so I'm ready for the interview tomorrow. It just has to be her fault since everything is her fault."
"Whoa, sorry I asked." He seemed genuinely shocked by her ire and she just stared up at him. "I was thinking of leaving at seven tomorrow morning. Will that work for you?"
"That'll be fine. Henry doesn't have preschool tomorrow, so I can just drop him off here at the daycare. I told his nanny about the trip already, so she'll be picking him up in the afternoon." She looked down at her desk. "I'll be here at quarter to."
"I could always pick you up if that would be easier." He seemed eager to mollify her and she just shook her head, a small smile on her lips.
"No, I'll come here. Now if you don't mind, I have work to do." She coolly stared him down until he nodded and went back to his own desk. Shaking her head, she delved back into the file on her desk, the words swimming before her eyes. A few moments later, her phone buzzed and she looked to see who had texted her.
What sort of wine do you want tomorrow? I forgot to ask earlier.
She smiled at Erin's text. I'm in the mood for something sweet. Maybe a German eiswein?
Sounds delicious. I'll pick it up tonight after work.
JJ nodded, even though she knew it was an empty gesture. Leaning back, she set her phone on the desk and began to hum once more. Coming home to Erin and her son tomorrow made the grueling day in front of her seem all the more bearable. Sitting forward in her chair, she signed off on the report and then began to look over the information regarding Paulson. He was a twisted bastard, and JJ felt any sense of lightheartedness fade from her mind as she read what he'd done to the older men and women he'd kidnapped.
Shuddering, she found to keep her composure and focus on the matter at hand. He'd only been convicted of fourteen murders. There were still twenty eight missing people who fit his type. Morgan said he wanted her to come up with a strategy to get the truth out of him and bring closure to those families. Looking up at Henry's picture, she squared her shoulders and dove back into the horrid details of the man's crimes.