A/N: Just about done here; there will be one more chapter after this. As this continues to be outside my writing comfort zone, I really appreciate your reviews and comments that let me know what I can do better or that I'm doing okay as is. Please keep them coming. Props to Britt (the Santana to my Finn as a brotp, if we're being honest) for reading through the military half of this one especially and Wendi (holygoof101) for her medical input & review to help make it as factual as possible because that's the way I roll.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. I'm just playing with it. I'll put it back when I'm done.

Chapter Four: It's Gonna Rain for Years and Years

It wasn't an uncommon thing; because of the crazy deployment schedule, there were a lot of guys who opted out instead of taking a bonus to stay active. They went to a different job class or into IRR but there was a huge percentage of guys who didn't do another rotation in 38B active duty and, after it'd been really hard to pry himself away from Rachel and Kurt and New York… he just wasn't sure he had it in him. He had loved what he'd been doing for the last few years, but he was ready to move on. He was ready to go back. He was just… holy shit. He was ready. He was ready to be in New York.

He actually stopped walking when he realized and DeKorver, who was behind him, walked right into him.

"Jesus, Hudson. The step up giving you some trouble?"

"Psh, no," he said, shooting a dirty look over his shoulder as they stepped into the hospital. They had just rebuilt this place and honestly, it was a lot better off than the last time he'd been here. He looked around, breathing deep and appreciating that there was no smell of dust. He hated the smell of the dirt here.

Their whole thing today was visiting with a few of the patients, specifically people who had been injured by insurgent groups who were threatening a comeback in the zone, and admin to make sure they had all the military support they needed to keep the place running. He really loved that he felt like their team of four was helping here. He remembered the charge nurse from his last go-round and she honestly looked a lot happier now than she had then. Amazing the difference a couple years and a few hundred thousand dollars could make.

They finished their visit and he didn't really see the strike coming, but it hit just as they got back to the Jeep all the same. In fact, he didn't see much as smoke obliterated his line of sight and the whine of missiles from somewhere in the same packed-dirt parking lot took out his hearing and all he could remember was someone telling him to get down, yelling it as he frantically grabbed for Adam DeKorver, pulling himself and his partner out of the Jeep and down to the ground with a hard tug to take cover.

He's way into this thing by now, working toward his master's degree in Social Work and working on all kinds of certifications and stuff so he can basically do the same job Emily Steadman does. It's been a long time since he saw Emily, really, just because he knows it makes her uncomfortable, one—but it also makes Rachel uncomfortable. And since he's been angling to get the ring back on her finger for the last six months or, he's all about keeping her happy and not stepping on toes that way. He'll probably send her the fancy graduation announcement when he's all done with school (Rachel has already said she's making him 'walk' which…lame.)

But anyway, even if he hasn't seen Emily, he's still headed toward the same basic job as her and he's ass-deep in clinical hours and practicums and whatever else that sounds really boring but basically means he's functioning with patients. That's the part he's really good at and it's the part that's making him finish school even though this last part really kind of sucks. He's hanging in there, though.

Like day-to-day, though, it isn't so bad. He's hands-on or whatever and it's really just so much better that way. He goes down to the admissions desk with a cup of coffee in his hand that isn't for him, but is for Sarah, the cute little clerk that kind of reminds him of Rachel, who is currently deep in the heart of admitting like four people, with like six more getting in her face about being too slow and God, don't they realize if they just sat down and let her do her job, it would go so much faster? Well yeah, so he's going to bring her coffee and fingers crossed she'll get through just fine.

Except there's this guy leaning over the desk and getting in her face. And he knows she's not actually Rachel, but there's like a switch in his mind that says he needs to do something because Sarah is someone's Rachel. He knows the guy she's dating and Jacob would want him to do something. Plus, Sarah is his friend. He wants to do something.

So he does.

Only… there was some information missing. Sarah was sitting back in her desk and frantically pushing the hidden security button because she could see something Finn couldn't, and he only gets like "Hey, dude, c'mon… let's just sit down and—" out before he sees the knife the guy is holding, and he doesn't get a chance to really even step back before the guy makes physical contact.

All he knew was the world around him was chaos; he could maybe open his eyes long enough to see something but the smoke made them burn and close and the sounds were all deep and hollow and far away and he just… he finally stopped even trying to open his eyes because it wasn't really doing him any good.

He feels too hot, like way, way too hot and he can't really bother dragging his eyes open but he can hear that there's all hell breaking loose around him. It's all shouts and people, like, on him and doing something that sort of tugs but it's just warm. It's too warm. He kind of feels like he's on fire and he definitely doesn't like that feeling and it's really all he can do to keep his eyes closed and his mouth shut until it's not so warm and he can relax a little bit, and as soon as he does the sounds and the tugging and everything fade away.

He didn't really know where he was when he woke up, just that it took a lot of work to actually get his eyes open. A lot of work, a lot of effort… just a lot. The hand on his arm as he stirred was enough to make him turn him his head and finish opening his eyes.

It almost hurt as he tried to piece together the last thing he could remember. He didn't know where he was or… or… it really hurt to turn his head so he let his half-open eyes slant to the side and realized it was his mother's hand on his arm. His eyes widened when he realized she was talking and he couldn't hear her.

It took almost two hours for them to have the doctor come in and to figure out a way to explain. Even then, the words that echoed through his head in made-up voices because he couldn't hear theirs were saying words he didn't understand… coma, fracture… air strike…only survivor…Maryland.

It was a couple of days before the headache started to fade and the low tones of conversation started to settle in and he could relax a little bit. There would be all kinds of medical stuff, all kinds of details that he'd probably never remember actually going through, that'd come to him in time. They told him he'd been at a hospital on a contact, he and the other three guys. The hospital had gotten hit; his C.O. was still inside, just coming out and had been lost immediately. The other guy had been walking between the Jeep and the hospital and had died 'in-transit.' Finn and his partner had been in the Jeep already, and though Finn had pulled Adam down to a safer place, they had been too close, too peppered with debris. Finn and Adam both smacked their heads and were unconscious, but Adam's body had protected Finn from further damage. Both had been bleeding profusely and unconscious when they were pulled of the zone and the medics had immediately sedated them and made arrangements to get them to the States for tests.

They watched and hoped it wasn't anything serious and in the end, it was something that would heal with time. In the course of all their tests, they discovered and immediately started treating 'acoustic trauma.' They were pretty sure there was no brain damage. And they thought he'd get at least most of his hearing back once the swelling from the ear surgery went down. Adam, on the other hand… well, he had protected Finn and Finn had saved his life because their Jeep was taken out along with the hospital.

He was pretty sure he'd rather be dead than unable to hear. It didn't stop him from wishing it all away, wanting it to be the beginning again so he could start over and do everything differently. At least, that was until Rachel was there, taking his hand and, even if he couldn't hear her voice, he could hear it in his head and it was telling him everything would be okay. He lay awake all night that night with her pressed against him, wishing he could go back. Wishing things were different. Wishing he even knew when it had all changed. Wishing he could just start it all over.