Blind. The very definition is to lose the ability to see. Which is complete rubbish if you ask me. For when you lose one sense. All of the others heighten.

When you lose something that can never be returned to you, like a loved one or a pet, or one of your senses, you receive different treatment. Everyone is more kind and willing to assist you with whatever you need.

That's not what it is though. It's not their kindness that holds them to the unspoken promise of kindness towards that person. It's pity. Pity help. For no one cares what you feel, they only care about showing others around them and even yourself that they are 'a good person'. A decent human being and what have you. Which was not the case here. Not at all.

"Shizuo can I carry your books for you?"

"Shizuo can I walk you to class?"

"Shizuo do you need help with your lunch?"

Pity.

Shizuo couldn't fucking stand it. Now that he was different everyone made it sink in for him, so much so that a sharp stab of an unknown pain was felt whenever he was treated different.

"Shizuo, here let me help you up the stairs." Stab.

"Shizuo, your shirt isn't tucked in! Here let me help" Stab.

"Shizu-chan is still that same monster from before I know it, ne?" Nothing. Usually when Izaya had dared add the dreaded 'chan' at the end of his name he cringed and it made his fucking blood boil like no other. That slimy sweet voice mad his skin crawl.. and that laugh could curdle his precious milk. Now though… now that was one of the only constants in his life. A constant that, no matter how hard he denied it, was welcome.

After that day Shizuo had blown up at Izaya, he had felt decidedly guilty about the whole ordeal. Even more so because after their spat Izaya hadn't come near him. Shizuo hadn't smelled the sickly sweet scent of Izaya Orihara in a week, and that pissed him right off.

The only constant he had was now gone. All that was ever around him now was pity and all that it ever did was make him feel pathetic. He had to fucking wait for Shinra after every class so that he could help him. He had to fucking set fucking markers when he walked down the street. He couldn't fucking see Izaya's smug fucking face whenever Shizuo acted, for once, just how he had expected him too, and he couldn't fucking see that look get wiped off of his face when he acted out of the ordinary.

Shizuo gripped tightly onto his blankets in bed as he shut his eyes tightly trying to push back all thoughts regarding the raven haired teen. It was Tuesday night and he was laying in his bed trying to get some sleep. It was nights like this Shizuo wished he could look at the clock to see what time it was.

He remembered once before this whole mess when he had been looking at the clock in class and then a pencil had been thrown at his head. He turned back swiftly to the boy seated behind him and afore mentioned boy's eyes widened in terror as he shook his head and pointed two seats away to a very happy, very smug, Izaya. Izaya winked at Shizuo and blew him a kiss and that's what started their chase.

RIP.

Shizuo sighed being pulled out of his reverie by a ripping sound. His hands ghosted over the whole in his blankets. He had ripped them. It was then that Shizuo realized that he didn't hate Izaya. Not now. Not ever.

He had ripped his blankets because he was mad. At Izaya? No. He was mad that Izaya was nowhere to be seen, that Izaya hadn't made fun of him, that he hadn't teased him, or pranked him. It was pity. It was all this pity all fucking over again. His one constant had completely gone and fucked him over.

"Damn it Izaya!" Shizuo cursed as he felt his eyes sting. He couldn't cry.. he didn't know how anymore.

After a few minutes of tearless crying the figure outside of Shizuo's window decided he had finally had enough of the pathetic scene and hopped down from the ledge and onto the grass, hitting the ground with a soft thud, then pulled up his fur trimmed jacket and stuffed his hands in his pockets going on his merry way.

Izaya had been watching Shizuo for quite some time. At first from far away, but as the blonde had starting changing Izaya moved up to his window sill and watched him. He watched the meticulous way Shizuo had danced his slender fingertips across his drawers in order to find the one he was looking for and how he rubbed the fabric of the boxers through his fingers in order to find the right ones. Izaya had watched as Shizuo had taken off his shirt and pressed his fingers to his own chest and slid them down as if to check if he were still there. Izaya watched as Shizuo took off his pants and previous boxers and exchanged them for fresh ones. He couldn't deny Shizuo was a sight to behold. Something he never would have noticed had Shizuo not lost his sight. Now it was clear to Izaya what he was feeling. It was love. Unconditional love.

After deciding this was true Izaya had felt laughter bubbling up in his chest, but he quickly dismissed it after he saw Shizuo climb into bed and tighten his grip on the sheets and heard a rip as well as his name being yelled.

Izaya's eyes widened and for a second thought he had been caught, until those beautiful silver eyes opened, with a glisten on them, fresh tears threatening to spill. Izaya waited anxiously for Shizuo to cry because of him, and his smile turned to one filled with mirth when the tears never came.

Izaya was now walking back to his home his hands stuffed in his pockets. It felt good to be out of his school uniform and in the nice and cozy jacket he had purchased with his won allowance. He thought back to Shizuo again as he walked looking up at the sky.

Perhaps tomorrow he would pay his monster a visit. He was sure to be missing him by now. No… that's not why he was going. Izaya wasn't about to show Shizuo any pity. Izaya was going because he was missing his monster.

Izaya signed as he walked up the steps to his house and unlocked the door. He couldn't do this anymore. Things were too different. He had to take control of his monster in another way now that he couldn't apprehend it with mere chasing. All of the fighting had to be psychological now. All of it had to be meticulously planned.

He knew just how to do it. In such a way that he could be close and control his monster and his silver eyed monster would drive himself mad thinking everything being done was out of pity. Izaya Orihara was going to date Shizuo Heiwajima. However, it wouldn't be out of pity, and Izaya would come to realize that the only reason this plan sounded feasible, was due to his own selfish desires.

Because if there was one thing Izaya would never convey to anyone no better their situation, it was pity.