Hey guys! Thank you for all your reviews! And I'm sorry I haven't been on top of updating. I'm trying to keep it up on the weekends, but this one was especially busy - and a heads up, next weekend will be even busier. I'll try to post during the week if I can!

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CHAPTER 4

When I first got sick, the anger had dissipated and I was left with raw pain from the fresh cut that Dimitri inflicted. Keeled over the toilet, I felt a strong, nearly overpowering urge to cry. All of my previous feelings of hatred had been forgotten and I had simply wanted to seek out Dimitri and sob—I wanted to beg him to stay with me.

It was when Lissa came running in after me, exclaiming in concern, "My God, Rose, are you all right?" that all traces of my pain disappeared and I was left with rage, rage, and more rage.

My nausea seemed to have settled at least a bit, so I felt strong enough to turn my anger on her again. "I said get out!" I shrieked.

Adrian quickly appeared in the doorway and tugged Lissa aside. I heard my door slam shut a few seconds later, and I relaxed against the wall exhaustedly. I had a sheen of sweat across my face, and my stomach was still doing somersaults. Again, I wasn't sure why; if it was because of the shock of the news, or if it was because of something else, but I supposed it didn't matter at this point.

The news flashed through my mind again. It took a moment to realize that it wasn't my thought; it was Lissa's. I slipped into her mind effortlessly, immediately taking in her surroundings. She and Adrian were walking briskly across the quad outside of my building. Well, it was more like Adrian was walking briskly, and he was sort of dragging Lissa along.

Lissa was doing all she could, short of physically digging her heels into the ground and refusing to move, to make it harder for him. It wasn't necessarily because she wanted to go back to my room—no, she was happy to get away from the monster that was masquerading as Rose Hathaway—but she was too engrossed in her own thoughts to pay any attention to mobility.

"Something's wrong with Rose," she was saying to Adrian, who was charging ahead determinedly. "I think it has something to do with the darkness she keeps taking from me. It's the bond, Adrian!"

She finally began to put up a fight against him, and he stopped and spun to face her. "Yes, something's very wrong with Rose. Yes, I agree that I believe it has something to do with the bond between you two, and the darkness that she's been harboring for you. I'm trying to get you to move so we can get to the library—the sooner we can get the research necessary, the sooner we can get about healing Rose—and getting the real Rosemarie Hathaway back."

What was with all of this "the real Rosemarie Hathaway" crap? Adrian and Lissa had both used that expression. I was still the same girl, for God's sake! I just had a major attitude adjustment.

Understanding dawned in Lissa's eyes as Adrian explained his plan, but she still frowned. "Shouldn't we tell someone first? Rose is out of control. I don't know if she can wait until we find this…cure. I think we need to let one of the guardians know."

Adrian considered for a second, and then nodded. "Yes, I think you're right. She definitely needs to be watched."

Lissa immediately knew who to go to. "We need to find Dimitri."

Adrian looked confused. "But he's about to leave. Tasha will be arriving soon—"

"All the more reason to start looking for him now!" Lissa encouraged, starting to take off in the direction of the building Dimitri lived in. Adrian quickly followed, unwilling to let Lissa go off on her own. I knew him well enough to know that he wanted to be involved in this process…he longed for the old me just as much as Lissa did.

Back in my own body, I had gone rigid. They were going to find Dimitri? I just knew it—they were going to paint him a story about me being infected with something, and turn me into a damned damsel in distress—setting it up perfectly, just so Dimitri could come sweeping in as my knight in a leather cowboy duster.

I felt rage boil within me, and I yearned to go track those two down and stop them from carrying out their plan, but I was sucked back into Lissa's mind too quickly. Damn, she was fast. She was already pounding on Dimitri's door, she and Adrian both panting breathlessly.

By the time Dimitri opened up, they had regained enough composure to talk to him.

"It's Rose," Lissa said immediately. "She's—"

As soon as he'd heard my name, his face shut down, and his guardian mask appeared. "I have to pack, Princess." He interrupted her. "I'm sorry, but I don't have time." And then he closed the door, leaving my two friends staring blankly at the wood.

Ouch. Damn. That stung.

Lissa was staring with wide eyes in disbelief. Adrian, on the other hand, modeled a dark scowl with anger of his own churning in his emerald eyes.

"What just happened?" Lissa asked numbly.

"That bastard just closed the door on us!" Adrian snapped heatedly. By the look of irritation on Lissa's face, that hadn't been the answer she was looking for.

My friends weren't the only ones who were shocked by Dimitri's reaction. I was frozen on my bathroom floor, stunned by his coldness. I wasn't sure what I saw as worse: my original depiction of what would have happened coming true, or the fact that Dimitri didn't even care enough to listen.

Lissa was still numb, unsure what to do. She had always counted on Dimitri before; his and my close relationship (teacher/student relationship, mind you—Lissa was still in the dark about our "true" feelings) had made him a close ally that could be trusted with even our most outrageous plans or theories. Now, for him to completely turn his back on her in this desperate time of need, Lissa was having trouble plotting her next move.

Adrian, on the other hand, knew exactly what he wanted to do. He lunged towards the door with an enraged expression on his face, only to be physically blocked by Lissa.

"Quit it!" She complained. "Dimitri obviously isn't going to help us. Trying to physically harm him—which, by the way, will probably just put you in the infirmary—is only going to waste more time. Get over it."

Adrian turned angrily with a disgusted look in his eyes. He, on the other hand, knew about Dimitri's and my secret relationship. I suspected that was part of why he was so offended by Dimitri's cold shoulder. "Fine," he snapped. "But we need to find that other option, and we need to find it now."

I slipped out of Lissa's perspective as she and Adrian hurried out of Dimitri's building. Coming back to myself in the bathroom, I let my head slump wearily against the wall. I still felt sick from earlier, but the nausea had died down. So had my energy, though. Suddenly I felt as though my head weighed a hundred pounds on my shoulders, and my legs were like jelly. I wobbled as I stood up and stumbled over to my bed, where I climbed under my blankets eagerly. I succumbed to sleep easily.

I woke from my nap abruptly, jerking upright when my ears picked up a strange noise outside of my room. It sounded like the shuffling of feet, but I couldn't be sure. I stayed completely still for a moment, and then relaxed when I heard a different door open and the shuffling disappear.

Wide awake, with my energy level replenished, I assessed my options. I was still bloodthirsty. I wanted to take my anger out on something. The rational side of me was yelling, "Gym, gym, gym!" while the irrational side of me was murmuring something along the lines of, "Those bastards who wronged you."

I blinked uncomprehendingly for a moment. While I had adjusted to the bloodlust I craved, embracing this new anger as a fuel to get, well, the truth across, I had never become so…sadistic. I wasn't out to physically harm people, I just wanted to beat something up…I needed that to outlet my anger. But to specifically seek out people I wanted to take vengeance upon? That was out of my realm.

Numbly, still slightly concerned about the earlier extent to which my rage had escalated, I changed into proper training clothes and snuck over to the gym. My knuckles still bore open wounds from earlier, and I could feel the pain this time as I started my attack on the punching bag. I was working up my momentum for a staggering roundhouse kick when I heard the door open and close.

I turned around hesitantly, bristling at the sight of my visitor. My face turned down into a glare.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded.

"I could ask you the same question." His response came just as coolly.

"I'm practicing." I sounded defensive.

He nodded slowly. Dimitri took a step forward tentatively, and then, watching my reaction—my entire body tensed and I was actually subconsciously bracing myself for a fight—stopped short. His guardian mask was in place as he brought his brown eyes to mine.

"Rose, I'm leaving."

"I know." I kept my voice as flat as possible. All of the pain that I had felt over Dimitri's news in the bathroom had vanished, and was replaced with my new best friend: fury.

Dimitri's guardian mask didn't fail. I couldn't tell what he was looking for. "I've taken Tasha's offer up, and I'm going to become her guardian. I'm leaving the academy. You'll need a different mentor."

"It'll be easy to find a replacement."

Dimitri's mask slipped just enough that I could tell that he wanted to snap at me. Maybe it wasn't in anger, maybe it was out of concern, or hurt from my comment. But I would never know, because just as quickly as it had faltered, it had corrected.

We stood in silence for a few moments, staring coldly at each other. In fact, my mind was actually elsewhere while Dimitri's dark, guarded eyes tried to penetrate my hard exterior. I had subconsciously slipped into Lissa's mind during the silence that stretched between us.

She had conflicted feelings running through the bond. As I looked through her eyes, I saw Tasha Ozera standing before her. Christian was standing next to his aunt with a oblivious smile on his face. Apparently he hadn't been informed of my psychosis yet.

One part of Lissa was happy to see Tasha. It was the part that had admired Tasha's strength and willpower during our time at the ski lodge, and the part that supported Christian and relished in his happiness. The other part of her was furious and disgusted by the sight of her boyfriend's aunt; she felt this way on my behalf.

"And where is Rose?" Tasha was asking. Lissa had tuned out everything Tasha had said previously, her internal battle taking precedence over silly small talk. She had to jerk herself back into the present quickly.

"She's not feeling well today," Lissa said vaguely. She tried to act as normal as possible, but nobody seemed to buy it. What was worse was that Adrian was nowhere to be found—Lissa could have used his support, not to mention his better lying skills.

Tasha frowned. "With what?"

Strong immune systems were part of what dhampirs had inherited from Moroi. Thanks to them, we didn't usually get sick. That was the big flaw in Lissa's lie: it was hardly ever true, for our race in general.

Lissa stumbled over an answer, but, luckily, Christian interrupted before she had a chance to get something out.

"She's been depressed lately," he told his aunt, thinking that that was all that was wrong. "Losing Eddie has been hard on her. Ever since Spokane, the two of them have been really protective of each other…this shook her to the core."

Lissa had never been more grateful. She nodded, going along with every inch of Christian's statement. It was true, too, at least partly. I could feel it burning in the bond: Lissa still believed it was the depression that was triggering, well, whatever else was wrong with me.

Back in my own body, I felt rage boiling in my blood. Tasha Ozera, that beautiful, genuine, strong-willed Moroi, the one who had been interested in Dimitri for a long time, was finally stealing him away from me. For that, I despised her to my core.

I expelled myself from Lissa and returned to the gym. Dimitri still hadn't spoken, but his guardian mask was slipping just enough for me to catch a glimpse of pain and concern. I wasn't interested in placing reasons behind those emotions, so I simply shoved past him.

"I have to go. Have a nice life, Comrade."

Dimitri grabbed my wrist, pulling me close to his body. "What? Rose—"

I caught a whiff of Dimitri's scent—incredibly intoxicating; it was the natural scent of his skin and sweat. For the longest time, that scent had driven me crazy, making my heart thump wildly in my chest and my head swoon—but this time, his scent made me nauseous.

"Let go of me." The threat came out not a quarter of a second after he had touched me. My voice was deathly low, and it was full of menace. I hadn't even known I was capable of that degree of intimidation.

Apparently Dimitri hadn't either. He dropped my wrist like it was acidic to touch. His guardian mask was flawless again, and his dark eyes stayed cool as he said, "Where are you going?"

"None of your business," I snapped. "You're not my mentor anymore." I put distance between us, trying to calm my sickened stomach. I exited the gym before Dimitri could say anything else to me.

I had one thing on my mind: revenge against the bitch who had just stolen the man I loved from me.