I need to lay down. I steady myself using the wall and slowly navigated to my room. As much as I wanted to see STARISH, I knew that if I saw them, I would cry uncontrollably. I couldn't let them see me that way. Finding my room, I turn the handle and walk in. After closing the door behind me, I slid down and let out a sigh. Too many things were happening. It was too much. It would be almost 'good' if I got amnesia now. Heaving myself upright, I thought of things I told myself to forget when I became HEAVENS composer.
Composing my first song with Otoya.
Playing the piano with Hijirikawa.
Finding Ren's song pieces and preventing him from being expelled.
Learning that Satsuki came out when Natsuki's glasses are removed.
Helping Syo overcome his fear of heights.
Figuring out Ichinose was actually HAYATO.
Composing Maji Love 1000%.
Meeting QUARTET NIGHT.
Seeing Aijima in person and him becoming an Idol, and him becoming part of STARISH.
... STARISH ...
I shook my head and pressed my hands to my temples. I can't be sad. I chose this. But...
"I regret it."
"If you regret it, why did you do it?"
I jump at the sound of a voice. I then, Hit my head on the doorknob. I crunched down again, holding the top of my head. "oww...". I didn't notice when the person got up and crossed the room to reach me. He put a hand on my shoulder.
"... It's me."
I look up and see Ranmaru looking at me with his two colored eyes.
"Kurosaki sempai! What are you doing here?"
He huffed a bit as he helped me up.
" I saw you stumbling down mumbling about you room, which you passed by twice, and decided to wait for you here." he turned away so I didn't see his face as he spoke. "um, thanks."
"for what?"
"for helping me that time before the Uta pri. When HEAVENS were bothering me."
He turned back to me. "I-I didn't do it for you." he spoke quickly, a touch of red appeared on his cheeks.
"I don't care. You still helped me and for that, I thank you." I smiled.
"you look better with a smile."
"huh?"
"smile. You should smile more."
My grin faded slightly. "I don't think I can smile right now..." my voice was filled with regret and sadness, and I turned away.
"so, if you were going to regret it, why did you do it?" he sat on the bed, then patted the seat next to him, indicating, I should sit too. I sat next to him and sighed.
"I can't stand the thought of STARISH being dissolved... I really don't want to be here... But I made my choice, and I can't break a promises... I really miss everyone." I find myself telling him my real feelings. I look at him and continue. "and you too." he turned his head away again, do I didn't notice the blush creeping onto his face. "And I also miss Ai-kun and the Rest of QUARTET NIGHT as well... Kaoru too..." I break off as he sighs. "sorry! Am I boring you?! I didn't me to go on like this, Kurosaki sempai." I speak quickly.
"no, not at all... But you can call me by my name, you know." I look at him, stunned. I gulped. Was it really ok to call him by his first name?
"Ranmaru-san?"
"nope."
"Ranmaru-kun?"
"no."
I sat thinking for a second. Then, turning to him, I speak.
"Ranmaru?"
He was silent for a moment, turning his head away from me once again.
"yes?" he said as he turned back toward me.
"Should I have become HEAVENS composer and leave STARISH?" I ask him. He is silent for a moment, then answers.
"I believe that you did something no one else would have the guts to do. And you did it to protect them. You are willing to sacrifice yourself for others. It takes guts to do that." he says thoughtfully.
I smile. At first Ranmaru seemed like a cold and scary guy, but now that I got to know him a little, I got to see his caring side. "Thank you, for listening." He nods and gets up. I prepare to get up also, but firm hands on my shoulders stopped me. I was pushed down slowly, onto the bed. "sleep. Kitsuna." The hands were removed and I saw him leave through my tired eyes. Gradually, they closed and my body relaxed. I slept, almost peacefully, as The bickering continued in the hall.
RANMARU POV
I put a hand to my mouth as the other gently closed the door behind me. I was pretty sure I was blushing. I had to get away from here before the others find me like this. I walk quickly over to a corner and stay there until I stop blushing. God when did these feelings surface? Of course I already knew the answer. Her songs. They were the most Beautiful Music he had ever heard. But the girl was also stunning. I shook my head, hoping to clear the thoughts from it.
OTOYA POV
Hmm... Someone's missing... Kurosaki sempai! Where was he?! I whip my head back and forth trying to find him. There! I spot him coming around the corner.
"Where were you?" ask and he turns slightly.
"None of your business."
He turns abruptly and proceeds to continue down the hallway. He pauses and calls out to me.
"hey, do you regret forming STARISH?"
I was surprised by this question.
"How could I regret it?! It's the best thing that every happened to me!"
"Then, do you regret meeting Nanami?"
"... Why..."
He turned to me.
"Why... would I regret meeting her?! She's the world to me!"
"But it doesn't matter, does it?" He turned his face away from mine and continued walking.
"The only thing that matters is if she regrets it or not."
I stood there confused. Regret, huh? who is she?- relization hits me. My voice come out hoarse as I call out and start rushing down the hall.
"Nanami?! Where are you?!"
Chapter 4 is here!
Thank you all for your wonderful reviews!
Note- most chapters are sent from my phone and must be fixed on my laptop, which I don't use very often. Please be patient so I can fix them.
Arigato, minna!