Totally forgot to thank the awesome lizde who corrected my mistakes on chapter 3 and this chapter. I love her.

Ch 4/Edward/Just a Phase

"You'll grow up one day!" Carlisle yelled as I made my way up the stairs to my room. "This is just a phase son!" That was the last thing I heard as I slammed the door to my room. I threw myself on the bed and buried my face in my pillow.

"Just shut the fuck up!" I yelled. Nobody heard what I said, it was too muffled. Was anybody supposed to hear it? No, because I don't even know who I'm talking to.

Carlisle arrived home, late from work as usual, angry as fuck at me. No, not at Emmett, at me! He caught me having a late night snack in the kitchen and started talking about bullshit morals and how I was making my mother upset. I told him that he didn't have to worry about me anymore. High school was almost over and I was going to get the hell out of here. Well that didn't help, that just fucking pissed him off even more. He knew I was full of shit. I knew it too. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself after high school.

I sat up, grabbed my iPod, turned up the music, and glared at the wall in front of me. It didn't help. I wasn't shutting down like I use to do when I was younger. It didn't work anymore. I couldn't block things out like a coward. I had to sit in this shit and stink in it.

You can't run away from your own fucked up self.

"Fuck you!" I whispered to myself, but with so much anger that I spat the words out. Then my damn phone vibrated in my pocket. I wiped away the saliva on my chin and grabbed the phone. There was text message from Tanya. Fuck. I groaned and pressed the read button.

Hey baby, I hope you aren't too mad. If you want you can cum over hehe and I can make it all better. Luv xoxoxo

I swear if I wasn't too lazy to buy myself another phone I would throw the motherfucker against the wall. I stood up, put the phone in my pocket, and grabbed my black journal from under my bed. Yeah, I have a journal…fuck off. I grabbed some of my left over weed and a small bottle of vodka. Then I opened my window, climbed down, and ran off into the woods. I do this every time I decide I'm too pissed to spend time in my own house (which is almost every day).

I had walked for probably about ten minutes when I finally reached my destination. It's nowhere actually. My destination was nowhere. I always walk down the same path to this place in the middle of the damn woods. It's the only part with no trees or bushes. It's my very own fucking meadow. Yeah I know that sounds gay, but shit, it's free, it's mine, and nobody (I mean nobody) is ever there. It's perfect. I used to go somewhere else to be on my own, but it's dirty and I'm too lazy to clean it. Plus it reminds me of some shit I don't want to remember. So I found the meadow, and I've been going there ever since.

I sat down in my usual spot. There's probably an imprint of my ass cheeks shaped into the grass by now. I quenched my thirst with the vodka and I wrote in my journal. I didn't write much, but I did vent. Holy shit did I vent. If anybody ever read this shit they would send me to the nut house or be scared shitless. I would never let anybody read it. Never. Nobody.

When I was eleven, Carlisle and Esme decided to take me to a damn shrink. They said I must either have ADHD or some kind of anger problem, or I was bipolar. But I wasn't your typical pain in the ass punk with ADHD who can't stay still or punches walls for no god damn reason, I was silent, still, scary as a motherfuck, according to Emmett. He's a liar, so whatever.

The damn shrink got pissed at me because I wouldn't share a fucking a thing about what had me upset. It wasn't his god damn business. I told him to his fucking face that he needed to fuck off. So he gave me a journal to "vent" in and to let it out on paper. I had to tell someone, he said. I've had three journals since; all full of my wormy brain's shit. They are who I talk to.

The only reason Carlisle and Esme know my shitty story is because they read the police report when they took me in, but that damn police report is a damn small summary of what happened that night. Alice knows because she asked about my scar and since she had already told me so much about her shit I had to tell her about mine to be fair. Besides, Alice is nice to talk to…sometimes, when she isn't playing little Ms. Mother Fucking Teresa like she was when we were planning our prank on Isabella.

What the fuck was that shit? She's supposed to be on my fucking side! Besides, who gives a shit about Isabella? Nobody apparently cares. She doesn't have any friends and she wears that fucking green sweater all the fucking time. Didn't her daddy buy her clothes? Shit. Or some god damn new shoes? She wears those god damn torn black and white Converse all the damn time. See, nobody gives a shit, not even her parents.

I finished writing in my journal and set it next to me. I lit my blunt and lay back on the grass. It was probably fucking late, but I didn't have school tomorrow and everyone back home probably thought I was in my room locked away as usual. I stared up at the black sky with one hand behind my head and the other holding the blunt. I smoked the entire thing by myself and finished the bottle of vodka too. I was thinking about what I would do in a week when I returned to school. Besides the normal shit, now I would have to fuck with Isabella's head, or as Rosalie would put it, her heart.

I chuckled darkly to myself. Why did I agree to do it? Because I'm fucking bored, that's why. And besides, someone needs to pop Isabella's cherry. I'll do the honors, no problem. I chuckled to myself again. Yep…I was stoned. I didn't really think I would get so fucked up.

I woke up with the sun on my face and a headache that quickly put me in a bad mood. I dragged myself back to the house. The normally ten minute walk took maybe twenty. I climbed back up to my room, making a mental note to never climb a wall with a hangover again. Somehow I made it to my bed and I immediately fell asleep. I woke up with an even worse headache than before when Alice barged into my room.

"Fuck," I groaned. Didn't I lock my door? "Can't you fucking knock?"

"Yeah, well I'm only doing you a favor, even though you have me so mad at you Edward!" She said. I rubbed my eyes and opened them. I was on top of my still-made bed on the wrong end. My dirty shoes were on my pillow…shit. I was lying on top of my journal. It hurt.

"I thought you would like your homework," She said, placing some folders on top of my desk. While she was looking away I threw my journal under the bed. She turned around and made a face. "Ew, take a shower," She said. I rolled my eyes and it hurt. Damn hangover.

"You're right, I should. How else am I going to impress Isabella?" I said, smiling. Alice sighed loudly and angrily, and left my room, slamming my damn door behind her. It made head spin. "Fuck!" I yelled.

The next few days were pretty dull. In the morning I ate cereal, slept until the afternoon, fought with Emmett, played video games with Emmett, watched cartoons with Emmett (damn Emmett, I'm tired of him). Then I slept and ate some more. Alice brought me my home work every day. I did it before going back to sleep. This was actually better than school. I might just thank Isabella some day, but not before I popped her cherry of course.

I had decided to wait until we got back to school to start my master plan. It would be weird if I just showed up at her house and asked her if she wanted to fuck. I chuckled to myself. She would probably suspect something. So I decided I was going have to take my time. I had to convince her that I had fallen for her, and you can't fall for someone right away. Plus girls definitely don't let you into their pants right away for love. I mean I could probably fuck her now with a few sweet words, but that wasn't the point. Rosalie, the evil bitch, said for a girl like Isabella sex is probably all about "love" and trust, and that's all they have, so when you snatch that away from them they fucking break.

This was going to be fun.

Alice knocked on my door one afternoon. She came into my room (after I had unlocked it) with my homework in her hands. She glared at me as usual. She seriously wasn't talking to me, but I knew she would get over it like she always does when I piss her off. I thought she would leave after she dropped off the papers, but no. She stayed and sat by me on my bed. I turned and looked at her.

"What? Are you over the saintly bullshit?" I asked. She rolled her eyes.

"No," she said sadly and looked down at her hands in her lap and said nothing. I went back to watching some cartoons. It was silent, but it wasn't awkward. It was never awkward with my sister.

"Edward…" she finally said after a few minutes.

"Yep."

"Are you really going to do it?" She said quietly. I smiled.

"If you mean 'do her' than yes, I do plan to do her," I said with a crooked smile. She just shook her head. I thought she was going to give me a lecture but she didn't. She knows me too well. I should have known she wouldn't.

"I could probably tell you that you're fucked up," she said again, quietly. Alice never cursed, so this was awkward. "But I know you won't care," she continued. "And I think that's the worst part of all this. I could tell you that I don't think that Bella would do something like that, and she doesn't deserve your cruelty…"

"Bella?" I interrupted, and she sighed.

"Yes, she goes by Bella. Nobody calls her that because they don't give a damn that she prefers it. The teachers ignore her when she asks to be called Bella. Just like they ignore you when you ask them to not call you Edward Masen, even though that's how they have your name in their attendance form sometimes." She had to go there.

"That's not the same shit! Don't even fucking try to compare us!" I said angrily. She nodded. "I know I know…I'm sorry." She said, and placed a hand over mine. "Look Alice, if it bothers you so much, then why don't you just tell her to stay away from me?" I asked.

"Because you're my brother, and even though I feel bad for Bella, I can't just stab you in the back like that. All I can do is try to convince you to stop now. People at school have always given her hell because she's the chief of police's only daughter and shes a bit nerdy…"

"A bit?"

"Okay, she isn't a dang model, but come on Edward. Don't you feel any kind of remorse or anything about what you're planning to do?" She asked sadly. I didn't answer. "People already call her names and push her around because of what they "think" she did to you and the others."

"Who pushes her around?" I asked.

"Everyone does in one way or another. Physically, Lauren and Jessica push her around. It's sad. I wish I could do something."

I chuckled, but Alice didn't flinch. She was serious.

"Well that's just wrong," I said. She whipped her eyes towards me and looked at me hopefully. I felt bad that was about to disappoint her.

"Now how am I going to get into her pants when she thinks I hate her? I do, but she shouldn't know that. It's going to make it harder. The plan…it's going to make my plan hard…I mean…the plan will be very hard!" I said and started to laugh. She said nothing and quickly got off my bed and left my room, slamming my door on her way out. My poor god damn door.

I called some people from school who really wanted my attention. That included Tanya who at first didn't want to pull her guard dogs off Isabella. I promised her a weekend she would never forget and she obliged. She is so damn easy, and that isn't a joke (well, okay maybe). I told them to spread the word that I was pissed because they were teasing Isabella. I said I was happy because she got me a week off school. I told them if I ever found out that they fucked with her I would see that they got their asses kicked or humiliated. They believed me. Who wouldn't? I always kept my word.

I really don't know why people want to be friends with me. I'm always in a bad mood and I always act cold towards them. I'm a fucking douchebag. Maybe it's my dad's money? I don't know. But I just don't trust anybody, so they can all fuck themselves and drown in my fake smiles and friendship.

Next I called our group. I told Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and even Alice, to keep Tanya out of the prank because her fucking mouth would ruin it. They all agreed. Alice just shook her head.

I made it up to Tanya by taking her to a party. Carlisle was at the hospital and Esme had left to go to Seattle for the weekend, so I didn't get in more trouble for leaving the house. I got so wasted and fucked up that I don't remember bringing Tanya back to my room and into my bed. Obviously we didn't play video games or watch cartoons, because we woke up ass naked. I will have to burn the sheets now.

On the day I finally got to go back to school, I made sure to shave extra close and dress extra nice. I took an extra nice shower and put some extra nice cologne on. Yeah, I was extra nice. When I made my way down stairs Emmett laughed and pointed at my extra niceness. "You look like you wanna' get laid bro!" He said, and both of us laughed while Alice just shook her head…again.

After I parked the Volvo in the school parking lot I quickly looked for Bella's shitty, fuck ugly, truck, but I didn't see it. Great, it would be just my luck if she dropped out. I walked to my locker to grab my books for first period and put my black journal in my locker. As I walked past some of the school's large windows I saw her.

She parked her shitty truck a little crooked and almost tripped as she ran into the school. I chuckled at her. She disappeared into the school's first floor. I looked around and asked a random person where Tanya's locker was. I didn't know where the whore's locker was, but everyone else did. I figured Isabella would be near Tanya's locker since I've heard Rosalie, Lauren and Jessica hang around there and tease Isabella occasionally. Well, they probably do it all the time… poor her.

I quickly made my way in the direction I was pointed and hid behind a soda machine. I waited until I finally saw her rushing through the hall with her books in her arms. She passed Tanya and the rest of the dumb bitches unnoticed. I realized she was headed towards me and that she probably wasn't going to her locker.

I've seen this shit done in the chick flicks Alice owns, and its genius. I had the perfect set-up. Isabella wasn't looking up, so I quickly stepped in front of her. I thought she would only lightly bump into me like in those god damn chick flicks, but she bumped into me hard. I gasped and winced as one of her books dug into my stomach. It fucking hurt. She fell back on her ass and her books scattered around her.

She could so easily break. She was so weak.

She gasped as well, and I think she said "shit" but I'm not sure. She quickly got on her knees and started picking her shit up. Well she bounces back, I'll give her that.

"I'm sorry…so sorry…I'm sorry… I'm just a dumb klutz, and sorry. That must have hurt…and…" she mumbled nervously. She's so paranoid. Well, look at what I'm out to do to her. I guess I can't blame her.

I knelt down in front of her. She abruptly stopped her movements and through her long mess of brown hair I could see the worry on her face. Shit, she knew it was me. "You are a klutz, but I forgive you," I chuckled trying to convince her I meant no harm…yeah right.

She was staring at her opened math book, probably hoping that I would go away, but I had a surprise for her. I closed the math book and picked it up along with some of her journals. She quickly grabbed a book or journal (I don't know what the fuck it was), and held it against her chest for dear life, as if I had hurt it or was going to steal it from her. Yeah right, because I care Isabella…right.

I stood up. She stood up.

She is so short. I've never noticed how small she is. She's too small. Under that oversized green sweater she was probably even smaller. She fixed her glasses with her finger. Some of her hair still covered her face.

I returned her crap to her and she gently took it. It was weird. She seemed so…soft. Her features seemed soft, and even the way she took her books back was so…soft. She was freaking me out. She looked up at me finally and gulped. Wow, she was really scared of me.

"You dropped this," I said, giving her a smile. I meant the smile. If I was going to win her over, I had to be nice to her. She stared at me in awe.

I guess Rosalie and Emmett were right. I amazed this chick. Her small mouth was hanging slightly open, and her eyes were wide under those small black oval glasses of hers. She looked down again.

"Th…thak…thank you," she said in a shaky voice. I was about to place my hand on her shoulder, trying to work my "touching" charm on her, but she flinched. What the fuck? I wasn't going to hit her. I didn't want to leave my hand hanging in mid-air so I went ahead and placed my hand on her shoulder anyway. I could see the realization hit her face and she looked like she felt stupid.

"No problem…Bella," I said, and she looked at me confused. I smiled at her again. Should I stay and make conversation? NO, that's bullshit, she'll freak out. I decided to put the magic on hold and walk away. I had to do this a little bit at a time. Maybe calling her Bella would make her feel more comfortable…shit I don't know…but maybe.

My morning was shit boring. Though I had missed an entire week, school didn't hold anything new for me except for people trying to make conversation and get me to talk about what happened. So far I've heard dozens of different versions of what happened to us. I heard Isabella dragged Mrs. Walton to where we were. Some say she's a spy for the cops or she's in the DARE club. Does that shit even exist anymore? Others said she's helping her dad bust us all. I seriously doubt that that klutz is a fucking spy.

I walked into the cafeteria and sat with Emmett, Jasper and Alice. Rosalie was still suspended and Tanya and her hounds decided ditch lunch to do something else. I don't understand that. Who ditches lunch? I sat in my usual spot and looked down at my feet.

"Dude, have you even made a move on her?" Emmett asked, and I smiled.

"Well maybe, but dude it's going to take some time," I said.

"You only have until prom. You only get money if you do it before. So what the fuck are you waiting for?"

"Dude its only January," I said. He looked confused.

"So?" he asked. What a moron.

"Prom isn't until May! Do you really think it's going to take me that long to get into her pants? I feel insulted," I said, and Jasper laughed.

"All of you are horrible. So what happens after prom? What will you do afterward Edward? What are you going to win?" Alice asked angrily.

"He'll get vengeance, our respect, and dignity!" Emmett said. Alice rolled her eyes. I swear she does that too much.

"You're the ones who were smoking the weed. How does Bella get punished for it?" She asked.

"Bella? I thought her name was Isabella," Jasper said. I chuckled.

"Dude, don't ask," I said. He looked confused.

"I think Alice is right. Edward deserves something else besides money if he does it at least by prom," Jasper said.

"That's not what I meant!" Alice said, pushing Jasper's arm off her.

"I'll get you that new PS3 game you got all excited about last time we went to Port Angeles," Emmett said. I laughed.

"I'll buy you that guitar you said you were going to ask Carlisle for," Jasper said. That just made me more determined. "But if you don't do it by prom, you're fucked for not fucking. You'll have to do whatever we say," Jasper said.

"Like what?"

"We haven't decided yet," Emmett said. They both laughed.

"That's fucked up. I'm the one having to do the dirty with her. You two aren't doing shit!" I barked. They laughed again.

"That's what you get for always being a loner. If you had a girlfriend, you wouldn't be going through this shit," Jasper said. I flipped him off.

"You better not do that if you want to impress your love," Jasper said. He wasn't looking at me. He was looking at something in front of him. I turned to see what it was. Ah…Isabella.

She walked into the cafeteria looking down. Her sleeves were too long and she held onto the end of one like a little homeless girl. I noticed she was holding a book or something in her other hand. She walked through the lunch line and quickly came out with a sandwich and a can of soda. She sat with the band geeks. They didn't notice her at all. She sat at the end of the table, staying away from them. She was hunched down, almost rolled into a ball, trying to take up as little room as possible. It looked like she was trying to make herself as small as possible, as if she was trying to avoid being noticed, trying to hide.

She nibbled on her sandwich and never looked up. She always looked down at her food, taking small pieces off the sandwich with her fingers and placing them in her small mouth. It almost seemed like she was savoring every piece of the damn thhing. Didn't she eat at home? She ignored it when the band geeks finally did look at her and started whispering something among themselves. They kept talking and then looked at me. I realized what they were talking about.

Isabella seemed to hear something that caught her attention. She whipped her head up and looked over to me. She caught me staring at her and her eyes widened and her mouth fell slightly open. I gave her a smile to show her I was a "friend" and not a foe. She grabbed her half eaten sandwich, the unopened can of soda, and her book; then she quickly stood up, rushed to a trash can and threw her food away. She left the cafeteria looking scared as hell. This girl has some serious issues.

"Great job asshole, you scared her away!" Emmett said. I rolled my eyes.

"It isn't my fault Isabella has issues," I mumbled.

My last few classes went by fast as a flying fuck. I was harassed twice by Tanya and her hounds. Seriously that bitch needs to back the fuck off. She told me that Isabella had told Angela, who told Jessica, who told Tanya, that she fucking hated Rosalie and that she fucking hated me for stealing her homework, and she wanted to get back at us. That little bitch. When in the flying fuck did I steal her homework? I finally got to English class and sat at one of the desks in the back. I sort of liked English, and that says a lot. I fucking hate school.

Mrs. Morris entered the room and right behind her was a surprise. I have English with Isabella?

She walked in with her arms wrapped around her books and that damn journal-thing she carries. She had an ugly orange back pack on her shoulder. Right away she spotted me. She stopped walking and looked down at her feet. She and I both noticed that the only desk available was in front of me. Perfect.

She slowly sat down and with shaky hands she placed her books on top of her desk and lightly placed her back pack by her side on the floor. I could see her back rising and falling somewhat quickly as she breathed. She was…scared.

I don't know why, but in that moment I hated myself. Why did I scare this girl so much? This ain't right.

Remember, it's not your fault she has issues.

I shook off my self-loathing and looked towards the board as Mrs. Morris began to talk. I kept looking at Isabella, but she just looked down the whole time. This wasn't going to work. Then I got an idea.

Mrs. Morris finished talking and gave us our assignments. The room went silent as everyone started writing. I hid my pen in my pocket and leaned forward. I lightly tapped Isabella's shoulder and she jumped a little. She didn't turn around. She was probably scared shitless.

"Hey, um, I don't have a pen. Do you mind letting me borrow one?" I said in my lightest, most dazzling and sweet voice. She nodded nervously and with shaky hands dug into her back pack and took out a blue pen. She wanted to hand it to me without looking at me, but that wasn't going to work. "I, um, hey I can't reach it," I whispered and she paused for a long awkward moment. She finally turned so she was sort of facing me, still looking down. She held the pen in front of me so I could take it from her hand.

I gently took it, after slightly grazing her fingers with mine on "accident." She gasped and looked at me.

"Thanks," I said with a wide smile and pretended to concentrate on my work. She was still looking at me. I could feel it. So I looked up and smiled at her again. She looked down, rolled her eyes, and then looked back at my face.

"No problem Edward," She said with a surprisingly strong voice and she turned around. She wasn't shaking anymore.

I'm a genius.