A/N: Just in case anyone is wondering. Yes I did see the new episode The Devil Wears Nada two Sundays ago. Yes I almost screamed but yes I did enjoy the episode. It was one of the few better ones that have been shown lately.
Also you may have noticed the new title, three people voted and two of them liked Amazon.D'oh better so that's the new name. If you are wondering how it is pronounced just think . Big thanks to CalculatedChaos for coming up with the name in the first place; I should have listened to him earlier too. Any way let us continue.
Marge Simpson rarely got angry over anything her husband did; she usually took it all in stride and accepted the fact that her husband was simply a silly oaf. There was no doubt about it, she loved her husband to death, he made a few mistakes here in there, but of course everyone does, even herself. Tonight though was entirely different.
She had just walked out of her meeting at the community college when her cell phone rang. She was not expecting to hear from Homer until later in the evening after bowling with Maggie so she was a little worried when she answered. But worry soon turned to anger when Homer explained the situation to her. One count of DUI with a five hundred dollar bail out. His car was now at the impound lot where it would most likely be bailed out for one thousand dollars. She would get him out of jail but decided that he was on his own for his car which he was not allowed to get until Monday morning.
Marge was now driving down the road, Homer in the passenger seat looking quite embarrassed but too afraid to say anything to incur his wife's wrath. He stared back at her, her eyes on the road ahead but there was an angry gleam in them, one he rarely saw, and one that never had a good outcome. Marge hadn't said a word to him, even when she picked him up, she only stomped back to the car, and drove home. Homer knew he had to break the ice sooner or later though, if he didn't, he would probably be sleeping on the couch for the night.
"If it's any consolation I was trying to get home to apologize to her," said Homer nervously. Marge stared down the dark road for a long time, Homer wondered if she was even listening to him and was about to call her name when she finally spoke.
"That's not the point Homer; you broke a promise to a little girl who had been waiting all week for this. Why the hell did you have to be so selfish and get drunk for the eight thousandth time?" asked Marge, her voice starting to rise.
"It was the guys fault, they wanted me to come and wish Sam a happy birthday. I was only going to be there for a half an hour but Moe kept pushing me to drink more. I kept trying to leave but they would not let me," said Homer.
"Haven't you said that Sam is there almost every night though?" asked Marge.
"Mostly Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays," said Homer who then immediately regretted saying that.
"So you could have joined him tomorrow and wished him a happy birthday," said Marge her eyes never leaving the road.
"I could have…but then there would be no cake," said Homer with a silly grin knowing it was a good excuse for him since he loved cake.
"Wipe that grin off your face Homer, I'm still not accepting your excuse," said Marge. She sounded more like she was reprimanding a child than to her own husband. But then again, Homer did act childish.
"Will saying I'm sorry help?" asked Homer.
"I don't know you'll have to ask your daughter," said Marge with a huff.
"I was talking about you," Homer answered gruffly.
"I'm not the one you are supposed to apologize. Sure I had to bail you out with five hundred dollars of my own money, you're lucky I love you enough to take you home tonight, I could have left you in there until the morning for you to learn something. God forbid you should," said Marge.
Homer stared back at his wife's angry face, the lights illuminating off her like some enchantress from a Disney movie he remembered seeing on TV a while back. It would make anyone cringe, Homer especially; he hated getting on his wife's bad side, he never knew when her good mood had returned. A few years back there was an incident that he preferred to forget, one that sort of dampened the relationship between him and Bart. Marge would not speak to him for nearly a week and spent his nights sleeping on the couch. Even after complaining about a hurt back from sleeping on said couch would not soften Marge's mood. Marge finally gave in though when Homer came home late with flowers saying he had a talk with Bart and that Bart had sort of forgiven him, but not really. Marge was glad they talked it over though and finally let him sleep with her again.
"I'll talk to her when we get home," Homer said quietly. Marge only grunted, she was in no mood to talk any more at the moment. She just wanted to get home to her daughter and make Homer apologize for what he did.
The last ten minutes of the drive home was spent in silence, to Homer it seemed like hours as they drove through the town and into their quiet neighborhood. He stared out at the houses that were lit up with families just finishing dinner and spending some quality time together. He knew he should be doing that now and he did wonder what Maggie was up to as she waited for them to come home. Did she even know what had happened?
They soon pulled into the driveway and Homer slowly got out of the car while Marge jumped out on her side and slammed the door before making her way toward the front door of the house. Homer watched her; afraid to even go near her, but slowly he followed her in. Marge was just about to open the door to walk in when the most annoying voice that Homer had ever heard called out his and Marge's name.
"Hi diddly ho, neighbors!" Ned Flanders voice called as he made his way over to talk to them. Great more of the night ruined.
"Hello Ned," said Marge in a frustrated sounding voice, one that she hoped would get him to leave them alone tonight.
"Hey Flanders," Homer said in a tone almost like Marge's. But apparently he did not get the message.
"I don't mean to be a nosey neighbor but is something troubling your daughter?" asked Ned.
Marge stared at Homer, apparently Ned had seen Maggie come home looking down and tried to cheer her up. Something that most likely did not work since Maggie had the same fondness for Ned that Homer had.
"Yes, why do you ask?" Marge asked trying to sound calm.
"Well she has been spending the past hour sitting in the tree house and throwing rocks into my koi pond, which I guess is all fine and dandy since fish like rocks at the bottom of their cozy home but I think she was purposely trying to hurt them. She kept saying angry things to them and calling them Dad, so I would beware of her," said Ned as he pointed a finger at Homer. He had built the koi pond in his backyard three years ago and it was one of his pride and joys. Ned was trying not to say it, but Marge could tell that Ned wanted her and Homer to reprimand their daughter for stressing his fish out.
"We will talk to her then," said Marge as she grabbed Homer's arm and pulled him to the backyard. Even if Maggie had gone inside now and hiding in the bathroom, it didn't matter, she was going to make Homer have a long talk with his youngest daughter.
They reached the backyard and quickly found Santa's Little Helper sitting on the porch looking at them with a confused and concerned face. Santa's Little Helper was no longer the energetic dog that the family knew, his fur had turned grey and his legs had some very bad arthritis. He was usually seen sleeping in a corner or sitting in front of the dining table wanting scraps. He still loved being petted though except for when he was taking a nap and Maggie would come over to greet him. He would let out a low growl as if to say that he was trying to sleep. But he would not bite or get up to move, he would only tolerate it.
The old dog's grumpiness reminded Homer of his own father Abe, and how he would always find him either sleeping or grumbling about something. Grampa had passed away four years ago and for a long time there was an empty void in the family's life. The sound of Grampa's whiney voice and low grumbles were deeply missed until Santa's Little Helper started showing the same qualities Grampa had. Homer would even call the dog Grampa, but that is also because Santa's Little Helper is such a long name.
"Is Maggie still in the tree house boy?" asked Marge.
Santa's Little Helper only growled before turning to his food bowl, apparently Maggie hadn't bothered to feed him yet.
Marge only ignored him for a moment, Maggie was more important that very second. The old dog could wait a while longer for his dinner. She looked up at the tree house and saw the light that Maggie had installed in the corner on. It was usually only on when Maggie was up there.
"Maggie, are you up there?" Marge called.
It wasn't long before Maggie's face appeared in one of the windows and looked down at her parents with an annoyed glare. "Yup, been up here since I got home, didn't feel like going in my room, this place is more private." She said.
"Good, I hope you don't mind your privacy interrupted. Your father has something to say to you and he is not allowed inside until he gives you a sincere apology for what he did," Marge said.
Before Homer even realized what his wife had said, he turned around just in time to see the back door slam and hear her turn the lock. Homer ran forward and banged on the door.
"Aww Marge let me in, Maggie's not gonna listen to me," Homer whined.
There was no response as Marge turned off the living room light. Homer only let out an annoyed sigh while Santa's Little Helper quickly scooted between Homer's legs and went through the doggy door. Homer knew better than to try crawling through that tiny flap and grumbled under his breath.
"Lucky dog," he said.
At that moment Homer wished he were someone else. He was never good at apologizing to his kids; a lot of them had failed over the years including the last one he had between him and Bart. God he hated that memory!
Homer let out a sigh and looked up at the tree house; Maggie was standing at the entrance with a sour look on her face. He looked down at the ground unable to stare back at her but he knew he had to get it over with or he would be sleeping out in the yard.
"You don't mind if I come up there do ya?" Homer asked Maggie.
Maggie stared at him for a moment, almost as if she was sizing him out. Finally she backed away from the entrance and let out the kind of sigh you often heard from a young child who did not want to do something they did not like. "Only because Mom told you to," she finally said.
Homer said nothing and slowly he made his way up the tree hoping that his apology to his youngest daughter would go off easily.
A/N: I liked writing this chapter; mainly because I feel that I made Homer in character in this. I hope you all liked it. So yeah this chapter is up earlier than I thought it would be, got some papers done faster than I thought. I have no idea how fast the next chapter will be up. Finals are coming and I need to study and do well so I can hopefully graduate in May. Please cross your fingers guys, finals make me so nervous. After my finals are over, I go back to work for the Christmas season, we do have a fun Christmas night light thing at work so I will be busy and I have no idea how often I will update. Also I am going to Florida on New Year's Day and will not return until the 16th of January. When I was there last year, my grandparents had no internet so I probably won't be on at all during that time. I hope I don't leave you all with a cliffhanger.
So yeah that's what the next month will be like so please be patient with me. To my friends who are American, I wish you a happy thanksgiving. Please remember to review and I will see you all in a little over a week.