Sorry about the delay :( i was busy. I hope you like this chapter !
I do not own Vampire academy, Richelle Mead does :)

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I went into my room and looked around.
It was a nice cozy room with a queen bed and some other furniture. I had a nice walk in closet, it was already feeling like home.
I walked into the bathroom and looked around, when i turned i saw my reflection on the mirror.
To me, i looked so broken, i felt so lost, to anyone else i looked fine. I refused to tell anyone here about what happend back home. I wanted to start over, this Mason situation was taking the best out of me. i refused to be bullied again here or have people feel sorry for me again.
I suddenly snap out of it when i realize i cant really breathe.

I run to the bedroom throwing everything out of my suitcase until i found it.
My inhaler. After the accident, i was taken to a hospital & found out my lungs suffered some major damage because of all the smoke i inhaled.
The doctor said it was Asthma, i however choose to call it distressed lungs. I cling the inhaler to my mouth and immediately relax.
I suddenly remember the guideline book, it said something about "cadets with certain disorders may not be allowed" i remember asthma being on the list, its a good thing i have distressed lungs instead.

I snapped back into reality and realised i was 10 minutes late & i haven't even changed.
I paced around my room getting ready and ran out.

I had to ask about 10 people for directions. damn this big place.

I finally reached the gym and stepped inside, the Russian glared at me.

"I said 10 minutes,Hathaway, its been 32" he spat out.

"I got lost" i shrugged.

"Very well, 30 laps now" he screamed.

"30 who?" i said confused.

He pointed to the track.

"You run around the little circle 30 times Hathaway" he said mockingly.

"You must be insane" i said shocked.

"want to add another 30?" he said.

I ran to the track and while he wasn't looked i gave him the bird.
Who does he think he is, he's worst than my mother.

10 laps into the training and my chest was on fire. I felt tears streaming down my face. It hurt so bad and i knew i was bound to have an asthma attack any minute.
I couldn't let him see that though. I pushed myself even harder, i looked down at my wrist and tried to picture my tattoo since it was covered up.

"just breathe Rose" i thought to myself.

Then that pain hit my chest, i knew it was coming. I made up my mind that i wanted to live and i didn't care if i got kicked out.
I ran through the track and felt Dimitri glaring at me.

"Hathaway what do you think you're doing" he demanded.

I picked up my pace and ran to my bag that was next to him.

I felt like i was about to pass about, i had to be quick.
I rummaged through my bag and found my inhaler.

I threw myself on the floor and stuck it in my mouth. i instantly felt relived. Maybe there was a god out there.

I glanced at Dimitri and he looked scared, his eyes in shock were staring at me.

He snapped into action and kneeled beside me.

"Are you okay? What happend? Do you need the nurse?" he asked terrified.

"No, i was just about to have a distressed lungs attack." i said.

He looked shocked.

"A what?" he said while rubbing circles on my back.

"An asthma attack" i said truthfully.

He looked furious.

"That's impossible, i checked over your application" he said defensively.

"I never mentioned it on there" i said while looking away.

"You're just one big problem aren't you Hathaway" he said then instantly regretted his words by the look on his face.

What he said hurt. it really did hurt. i always felt like a problem but now that someone else said it, it crashed my world.
I felt tears wanting to make their way out of my eyes but i held them back.

"Rose i didn't-" he managed to say before i cut him off.

"Save it General Belikov, do us both a favor and turn me in, i rather go back home than deal with this" i said while walking away.

Once i was out of the gym i ran to my room, i threw my door open & slammed it then threw myself on the floor.
Why was everything like this? Why couldn't i for once feel a bit normal.
I was a problem for everyone, i lost the one person who dealt with me & loved me for who i was.
There's not a day where i dont wish i was the one that had died in the accident. Mason was so full of life, everyone loved him, no one would have even noticed if it was me.
I went to my bag and pulled out a picture of Mason, my god he was beautiful.
I held it to my heart & whispered

"I am so sorry Mase, i miss you so much, it was all my fault it should have been me" i cried out.

I must have passed out because when i woke up it was 1:42am, which means i missed dinner. I didn't care.

I stood up and walked to the bathroom, my hair was a mess and my eyes were swollen, my whole face was flushed red.
I felt so defeated. I decided to take a shower and sleep a little bit more, i had practice at 6am anyways.
I changed into my shorts and a tank top and lied in bed.
I felt so homesick. I missed my room, and the feeling of being able to do what i wanted. Thoughts filled my head and made it almost impossible to sleep.

I decided to go for a walk. I opened my door and glanced around for anyone in sight.
the coast was clear. I walked slowly, i really didn't have a destination, i just wanted space. I was doing just fine until i ran into a wall-a Russian wall.

"fuckkk" i said while grabbing my head.

The wall moved and looked at me.

"Rose, what are you doing up, its 4am." he asked.

"I couldn't sleep" i said simply.

"about what happend earlier-" he said

"Don't bother Dimitri, it doesnt matter, I'm over it." i managed to say while shaking, it was really cold.

He must have noticed because before i knew it, he took off his duster and was putting it on my shoulders.
I shrugged it off and handed it back to him.

"No thank you General Belikov, i dont want to be a problem again" i said hurt.

"Rose stop it, i didn't mean that, i was just in shock. You looked so fragile, i was afraid you were hurt, you shouldve come to me" he said looking hurt.

"Yeah because we're best buddies and tell each other everything" i said while rolling my eyes.

We stood in silence for a second.

"So when do i go back?" i asked.

"Back, back where? he replied confused.

"Home." i whispered.

"You're not, i didn't tell anyone. You have potential Rose, I'm not going to send you back because of something you cant control like Asthma." he said.

"Distressed lungs" i corrected.

He smiled.

"I should get going, i have practice with you in 2hours" i said while stepping back.

He grabbed my shoulder and turned me.

"Get some rest Rose, and again, I'm sorry about earlier." he said.

I nodded and walked away.