A/N: I'M BACK!
After months of hibernation and setbacks, JD has returned to bring some fanfic goodness to the readers (hopefully ^^)!
With no further ado, I now present to you Chapter 4 of my story! I would like to thank all of my reviewers for reading my story. You guys are the inspiration for my fanfics! Hope this chapter will also appeal to you.
OK, now that that's done, here we GO!
Disclaimer: No own, no sue. Plain and simple. ^^
XXX
"Because I love you, I can become anything."
Someday, I'll be worthy enough to call him Father…
The heavy rain continued to pour down the streets as Kyo Souma walked a good distance away from the family Estate.
The drops of water struck heavily against his hair and clothes, rendering his once dry body soaked and cold.
But his mind was not on the freezing weather, which was quite something—considering that it often did a splendid job depressing him.
Because only Akito's words rang in his mind at the moment.
"If you want your memories to remain intact, you will have up to three months…to make Kazuma-sensei hate you…
Why, shouldn't that be even better for you, Kyo? You will finally become a member of the Juunishi, just for making one man hate you!"
No, shut up! Kyo shook his head, clenching his fists in frustration. No, this is not how I wanted my freedom! Not in exchange of Shishou! Why does Akito want to hurt Shishou so badly? I'm the one he should be mad at! Why does Shishou have to suffer because of me? And why do I have to do it to him?
A car zoomed past Kyo as he continued down the sidewalk, with one hand in his pocket and the other running through his wet orange hair.
Hatori is right—there's no way I can make Shishou hate me, even if I beg him to! He wouldn't even raise a hand against me back when I was a kid, even when I deserved it! Kyo shut his eyes in frustration. Oh God what should I do?
The cold was starting to hurt, but Kyo kept walking anyway, up the empty, slick path to his destination. The trees were beginning to sway and some fallen leaves were beginning to hit his face. The clouds above him, previously gray, were turning black and gloomy.
Ah great, the rain is turning into a storm. How grand…
Could there be anything else more depressing than this?
"How ironic…" Kyo hissed to himself, continuing his previous train of thought. "Normally, if I couldn't find answers, I'd ask Shishou and he'd help me find them. But now…there's no way I can ask him, tell him about what I got myself into. How would he react? What'll he say to me? And what would Akito do if he found out that I told?"
A loud crack of thunder boomed above him, but he again ignored it along with everything else.
"That's it. I really don't have much of a choice." Kyo sighed, biting his lip. "I'll have to be the most horrible person I can be, and do the most horrible things to Shishou. Three months…that's more than enough time. I'll probably give myself a few days first; do my best to be the best son I could be for Shishou, before I turn into the worst. Hopefully, it'll be enough to make him angry and eventually hate me."
But what if he doesn't hate you? What if it makes him break down instead?
That sounds horribly like what Hatori would say! Kyo groaned out, trying to clear his head of his conscience. "It doesn't matter anymore. Fate has made its plans, and so have I! I'll have to protect Shishou no matter what! So if this is the only way to do it…"
Another thunder roared overhead as Kyo exhaled painfully. "…then so be it."
XXX
And every time I see his smile, the love spreads…
"Ara, ara, it looks like a storm is coming up, isn't it? I'd better make something to warm me up."
Standing up from the tatami flooring of one of the rooms in the dojo, Kazuma Souma made his way to the kitchen to make some tea.
The rain has been going on for hours now. He was bored and alone for most of the afternoon. He would have considered visiting Shigure's place today, but at the rate that the storm went, no sane person would want to go out with weather like that!
"Which means Kyo must be all cooped up in Shigure's house, bored and most probably down." Kazuma sighed softly. "The rain always has its way to damper the cat spirit's mood. I hope Kyo is holding out all right."
Normally Kazuma would not worry so much about his charge, knowing that Kyo was a strong and zealous spirit. Though he can be pulled down to the ground (and has been, for numerous occasions), he always gets back up on his own, better than ever.
But lately, the boy seemed to always be in a sullen mood—moody, impatient and depressed. Kazuma had frequently asked about it during their training sessions together for the past weeks, but Kyo would shake his head and insist that everything was fine and that there was nothing his old Shishou should worry about.
But instead of putting them at ease, Kazuma's worries grew worse.
Kyo had a problem, he could sense it, but Kyo wasn't telling him anything.
It took a few phone calls to Shigure and two trips to their house for Kazuma to pinpoint the source of Kyo's depression.
And when he found out that, Kazuma did not know what to feel.
He was happy for Tohru and Yuki, true. Tohru was the sweetest and kindest girl he had ever met, and Yuki was a well-mannered gentleman worthy enough of her. And the pair had been very good friends at the beginning. There was no reason for them NOT to end up together.
On the other hand, however, Kazuma felt a twinge of sorrow, obviously for Kyo. Though the boy would like everyone to believe that the said couple getting together had no real effect on him, Kazuma knew his son's heart remarkably better than anyone else.
Tohru Honda was Kyo's first love—that was plain and easy to see.
But sadly, just as Kyo had given his heart to the girl, she had obviously given hers to the Prince.
Now Kyo has fallen in a worse state of sadness than Kazuma had ever seen, and at that point Kazuma felt helpless.
Kyo… Kazuma thought as he sat down near the table and watched the kettle boil. My stubborn Kyo, you really want to work this out on your own, do you? I understand how much you want to prove yourself, and how much you want to prove how strong you are. But…
KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Ah?" Kazuma was startled away from his thoughts as the loud knocking on the door continued. "Hai, hai, I'm coming!"
And as the man made his way to the front door, Kazuma couldn't help but think, now who would go out in the rain like this, just to see me?
CREAK!
The door opened with a soft hiss to reveal the dripping and panting form of a very familiar…
"KYO?"
XXX
He told me once, that the Neko is but a part of me that I had to accept…
Kyo couldn't help but shrink back a little at the alarmed look on the other man's face.
OK so maybe the fact that he had just walked through a raging storm without a jacket or an umbrella is something to get troubled about, but still…
"Kyo, what on Earth—?"
"Hey, Shishou…" Kyo greeted tiredly. "Sorry about the surprise visit. Can I come in?"
Kazuma nodded as he led the boy inside the warmth of the dojo. "God, Kyo, you're soaking wet! And you're shaking like a leaf too! Why don't you go have a seat in the living room while I get something to warm you up?"
Kyo nodded, not meeting his Shishou's worried eyes as he made his way to the kitchen while Kazuma went to the other direction to look for a towel or two and some warm clothes for the boy.
And as he sat down on one of the couches in the living room, it was only then that he felt the painful cold gnawing through his skin in full force.
Argh, I didn't notice it was so cold until now… Kyo thought. This is bad. At this rate, maybe I'll catch a…
"ACHOO!" Kyo sneezed roughly as he clasped his shaking hands. …a cold! AH! Damn it all!
"Looks like you've already caught a cold huh?" Kyo turned around to meet Kazuma, who had a set of fresh clothes tucked in one arm. He held out a towel for Kyo with his other hand. "Here. This should help."
The boy nodded, taking the towel and the clothes. "Thanks. I'll just go change in my old room."
"All right." Kazuma watched as Kyo began to walk away.
But Kyo was only a few feet away when Kazuma called out again. "Kyo?"
Footsteps halted their pace as Kyo turned around. "Yes, Shishou?"
Kazuma fixed a troubled glance at him before whispering, almost pleadingly. "…Is there something you wish to talk about?"
Kyo drew a steadying breath, willing the tears gathering in his eyes to disappear as thoughts began to bombard his mind.
Shishou…Shishou, I really need your help! Please tell me what I must do? Tell me how I can save you from Akito without getting you hurt! Tell me how to make you hate me! "…Nothing, Shishou. Nothing at the moment."
"I…see." From the corner of his eye, Kyo saw Kazuma's shoulders slump a little.
"Am I bothering you, Shishou?" Kyo whispered. "I'm sorry, I just wanted, no, I just really needed to see you."
"No, it's not a bother at all." You're never a bother to me, Kyo… "I'm glad you came to see me too. Though you should probably pick a better weather next time."
"Hai, Shishou." Kyo allowed himself a small smile before nodding. "Well, I'm off then."
XXX
He makes me want to be a Father…
Kazuma sat in the living room with a cup of warm tea in one hand, his brow furrowed.
There seems to be a lot in Kyo's mind today. There's no real other reason he'd come to see me other than that. But why won't he tell me anything? Oh Kyo, why won't you let me help you?
It had been a good five minutes since Kyo had gone to his room to change. The tea was starting to get cold, and it was already getting late. Maybe he should throw away the rest of the tea and start preparing for supper…
RING! RING! RING!
The phone's ringing…"Wonder who this could be?" Kazuma thought as he answered the phone in the dining room. "Hello?"
Another familiar, sing song voice echoed from the phone. "Hello, Kazuma-sensei!"
Ah, it's Shigure. Must be calling about Kyo. Kazuma smiled softly. "Oh hello, Shigure, it's nice of you to call. What can I do for you?"
"Hmm. Let me see…is Kyo over at your place?"
Thought so… "Yes he is. He just came over."
"That's good! I'd love to chat more with you, Kazuma-sensei, but I really need to speak with Kyo right now. May I?"
That's odd. Shigure's usually not the type to jump down to business. "All right then. I'll go see first if he is all right now."
"Has something happened?"
That is what I'd like to know… "I don't know really. He came to the dojo, drenched and upset. I tried to ask him what was going on, but he wouldn't say anything."
"Well…" Shigure reasoned smoothly. "Maybe he just got himself into another brawl with Yuki on the way there. I've been away for quite a while and the children had the house all to themselves all afternoon!"
Kazuma frowned slightly. Shigure's reason was plausible, true, but it still seemed rather…off.
"…Shigure, are you sure there is nothing I must know?"
A pause filled the other side before Shigure energetically answered. "Positive, Kazuma-sensei. I'm sure Kyo will be back to his energetic self in no time!"
"But—"
"Don't worry Kazuma-sensei." Shigure cut him off. "If it's something really important, I'm sure Kyo will let you know. After all, you are his father."
Kazuma felt his heart clench as he swallowed painfully. God I wish he would…
"You're right, I guess…"
"So…Kazuma-sensei, may I?" Shigure piped up softly.
"Oh yes, of course. Excuse me…"
Kazuma placed the phone down the table before turning around to find Kyo.
"Kyo! Kyo, are you done yet?"
"Ah…Shishou?" Kyo looked up to the closed door of his room that muffled Kazuma's voice from the other side of the hallway. "Shishou, I'm coming!"
After putting on his slippers and hanging his wet clothes on the towel rack on his door, Kyo opened it to find the man turning to the direction of his bedroom.
"There you are, Kyo!" Kazuma said, smiling softly. "Shigure's on the phone. He wants to talk to you. It sounded important, seeing how he seemed straight to the point today."
"Right, thanks." Kyo said, sweeping past the older man.
"Oh and just sit back and relax, OK Shishou?" Kyo turned to smile up at his master. "I'll be making dinner for us tonight."
Kazuma paused before smiling back at him. "All right. Thank you."
XXX
Someday, I'll make Shishou proud to call me his son!
"What do you want, Shigure?" Kyo grunted as soon as the phone was on his hand.
"It seems like you're doing much better now, Kyo!" Shigure greeted cheerily, making another vein in Kyo's head pop.
"Shut up! If you called here just to annoy me, then you've got another thing coming—"
"I know about what happened with Akito, Kyo."
Kyo froze as his eyes swiftly scanned for any sign of Kazuma possibly overhearing. Thankfully, his Shishou was in the kitchen reading the newspaper.
"I have to say Kyo that was quite a surprise, coming from you." Shigure continued. "How ever did you think that what you're about do is possible?"
"Don't give me that, Shigure!" Kyo hissed in annoyance. "Hatori's already given me an earful—!"
"Hush now! We must not let Shishou-san know anything, right?"
Kyo let out another irritated grunt, knowing that the inu was right.
"Anyway, did you tell him that you'll be moving in?" Shigure asked.
"I haven't. In fact, I've barely spoken to him at all ever since I came."
"My my, you're already starting huh…"
Kyo felt his temper flare up again. "I'm not, baka! It's just…"
"Anyway, now would be a good time to let him know that you'll be staying there. Or perhaps, you'd want me to tell him for you?"
"No, I'll be the one to tell him that, maybe after I make us some dinner." Kyo chuckled softly. "Least I could do after giving him the cold shoulder treatment when it's not really necessary."
"At least, not for today." Shigure's words sent a hollow chill down Kyo's spine. "So are you going to stay over there in the dojo?"
"Obviously, then I'll be going back there tomorrow to pack…" Kyo replied, his eyes still fixed waveringly on his Shishou. "Is there anything else?"
"Nothing else, Kyo. I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow. Have a good night, Kyo."
"…Thanks." Kyo said wearily before hanging up, sighing. "Guess I'll have to make dinner now."
Two hours later…
Kyo sat down on his futon an hour after they had dinner. Despite the rain, Kyo did his best to be as cheerful as he could around Kazuma, to make up for being so cold at him a while ago.
They had talked about the dojo, Shigure's house, school and all other things that seemed to make the mood lighter.
Yet despite the warm atmosphere, Kyo had yet to break to Kazuma Akito's order that he'll be staying at the dojo from now on.
"Shishou must be sleeping already…" Kyo mused. "But still I'd better go see him. I'll take my chances and see if he's still up. Then maybe I can tell him…"
Kazuma was sitting on his futon reading a book against the dim light by the time Kyo knocked on his door.
"Shishou?"
The man looked up from his book to see Kyo cracking the door open a little. "Yes, Kyo, come in."
Kyo stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. "Uhm, hi, Shishou."
Kazuma eyed the boy curiously. "Is something the matter, Kyo?"
"Well…there was something…" Kyo began, clenching his fists uneasily. "It's just…I have to tell you something important…"
"Oh? What is it?"
Come on, Kyo! There's nothing to be nervous about! This isn't the horrible part of what you've got to do!
Kyo fell to his knees beside his aged master and caught his onyx gaze. "Actually, it was about an order coming from Akito."
Kazuma's eyes narrowed dangerously for a split second before returning to normal. Kyo barely noticed the change. "I see. What was it about?"
"Well, it was about me…" Kyo was thankful that Kazuma merely nodded encouragingly. "And, well, Akito ordered that until the end of my high school years, I was to be moved out of Shigure's back to the dojo."
Of all the things Kazuma had been expecting, it was definitely not that one.
He stared at Kyo quite suspiciously. "And that's all?"
Well of course he's expecting a catch! Even I would if I didn't have the info first hand!
"Yes, that's all." Kyo lied, looking downcast. "Is something wrong?"
"No, no nothing's wrong, Kyo. I'd be happy to have you over with me again." Kazuma replied. "It's just that…the order sounded very odd, especially when it came from Akito. Are you sure there's nothing going on?"
"Nothing as far as I know." Kyo said. "And Shishou?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry…for being such an asshole these past few weeks." Kyo said, scratching the back of his neck. "I was just feeling pretty down and all…"
"Is it about Tohru-kun and Yuki?"
It was now Kyo's turn to be surprised. "How did you—?"
"I was worried about you." Kazuma admitted, sighing. "When you wouldn't tell me what was wrong, I went to Shigure's to figure everything out myself. And that's when I knew about the two of them, and I simply put everything else together."
Kyo fell silent as Kazuma continued. "I'm sorry I had to pry. I really had no right, but I just wanted to help you."
"No, Shishou. You did all that for me." Kyo said, his eyes pricking up. "I wish I could be a little more deserving of all you're doing for me…"
"You already are." Kazuma said gently. "You have grown into a strong young teen on his way to a bright future. There is no way I'll let you get locked up. I promise, Kyo, you'll live the life you'll want to live and I'll be proud of you at every step you make towards your dreams."
I wanted to make him proud. I wanted Shishou to call me Son…
Kyo's shoulders shook, trying to stifle his sobs. "Arigatou, Shishou. Thank you very much, for everything."
After a few minutes, Kyo stood up to say good night. "Well, guess I'll really call it a night now Shishou. Thanks again for listening."
"And thanks for telling me the news." Kazuma smiled at him. "I hope you're feeling better now."
"I am." Kyo nodded. Or at least, I wish I am… "I'll be going back to Shigure's to pack up tomorrow. That OK?"
"Of course. Rest easy, Kyo."
Kyo was moments away from exiting the room when he turned back to Kazuma, who was still watching him.
"One more thing, Shishou…" He said before he could stop himself.
"Yes, Kyo?"
I'm sorry, Shishou, for everything I'm about to put you through. You'll see though, Shishou. It's for your own good…
"…I love you, a whole lot, Shishou. I just want you to know that."
"K-Kyo—?"
But Kyo had already closed the door behind him before Kazuma could respond.
He was already making his way to his own room when he turned his gaze to the moon outside.
It was round and bright, shining against the stone path of the dojo. It made a sense of calm pass through Kyo's being.
For the first time in his young life, Kyo was finally able to tell someone he loved what he truly felt, and it put his troubled heart and soul in a detached sort of peace.
That's all I want right now.
Before my world crumbles into nothing, I just want you to know that I love you more than I can ever say…Dad.
XXX
Oook, that was long.
And angsty.
And a little…less fluffy than I expected.
Oh well, another chapter down for the count. Was it too OOC?
For one thing, Kyo is quite a tough character to write. He's such a tough boy in both the anime and manga, so it was very difficult for me to write him out when he's nearing his breaking point and in desperate need for some TLC (or a hug).
And as for Kazuma, he may love Kyo a huge lot and all, but he was never that showy of his affection. Then again, the only reason he was probably like that was because Kyo is not exactly the person you can easily show love to, no matter how much you want it. Therefore, yeah, the going-angsty-because-my-son-is-probably-in-trouble Kazuma was pretty tough to write too.
But overall I enjoyed making this chapter. Sorry if it was too long!
This'll probably be the only update you'll get from me in quite a while. I'll probably make the other chapters much shorter if you'll want me to. ^^
Thanks for reading, and please leave a review! I'd really love that!
*Squeezes and Oolong tea, JD*