Disclaimer: IDOM

Guys, I'm a mess. I can't stop thinking of this story. I've missed writing so much, and now that I'm back into it I can't stop. It's one in the morning and I'm dying and I have a road trip tomorrow but I had to write this and publish it. Two chapters in one day. Wee woo. I LOVE your reviews. I love all the thinking and the questions and hypothesis. Thank you all so much. Truly.

A little more answers in this chapter, and plenty more to come, I promise you. :)

Enjoy!

Someone was throwing knives at him. One of the competitors. Gwaine sidled into the room, glaring daggers at the two men. Merlin spared him a warning glance and gave a little shake of his head. But Gwaine wasn't going to just stand by and watch them bully his friend. His one friend...

He blinked and he was somewhere else in the castle. And Merlin... Merlin was with Lancelot. He'd be fine. Or Lancelot would have to answer to him. They were supposed to take out the warning bell. He wished he'd told Merlin to be careful. The boy had almost no self preservation skills. Gwaine wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to him. He was the first person who'd ever given him a chance.

He was the first person to show Gwaine what a real friend was.

And then he was kneeling in front of Arthur. A ceremonial was sword lightly tapped on both shoulders for the "official" knighting ceremony in front of hundreds of Camelotians. Perce, Elyan, and Lancelot were kneeling beside him, and he glanced behind him to see Merlin standing in the front row, hands folded in front of him and a proud smile on his face. The young man met his eyes and gave him a small nod, eyes shining. Gwaine couldn't help but return the grin.

Merlin was dying. No one survived the Dorocha attack. His face was ashen. Gwaine didn't know anyone could look so grey. Or paralytic. It frightened him. He adjusted the blanket that was covering his friend, fighting the warm tears pressing against the backs of his eyes. Merlin couldn't die. He couldn't.

"You can't, Merlin."

And then a sword was being shoved between his ribs. His whole body was on fire. His eyes widened with shock as agony coursed through him. He couldn't breathe. The world had stopped. Morgana pulled the sword out of his chest, eyes full of hatred.

Merlin screamed. His eyes were glowing. The witch flew backwards and collided with the wall. Gwaine fell to his knees, gasping for air. Merlin was there in an instant, tearing off his neckerchief and pressing it against the wound. There was blood everywhere. And Merlin had magic. Powerful magic.

"M-Mer... lin..."

Tears ran down the servant's face as he lowered him to the ground. Apologies were pouring off his lips as fast as Gwaine's life force was leaving him. Merlin was begging, screaming, for someone, anyone, to help him, but there was no one around. There was no one to save him. Gwaine knew this was the end.

He looked up into Merlin's face, frowning, and grabbed his friend's wrist. The young man met his eyes, and Gwaine saw more pain there than even he was in. There was so many things he wanted to say: that he didn't blame Merlin, that it was okay with him that he had magic, that he didn't want Merlin to cry over him.

Instead, all he could say was, "It'll be okay", brokenly.

And then darkness overtook him.

Gwaine still couldn't breathe. He bolted upright, clutching his chest. There were hands pressing against his shoulders, pressing him back down. Someone was yelling at him. It took him another moment to realize that he could breathe. Or maybe it was because Arthur was yelling at him to do so. The knight panted, hand twisted into his tunic where the stab wound should be. He pulled his shirt up and ran his hand over his chest. There was nothing. No wound. No blood. Not even a scar.

"Gwaine?"

He looked up and met the king's concerned eyes. Arthur's hand was still on his shoulder. Gaius stood a few feet away, watching him with a cocked eyebrow. Leon stood beside him.

"Do you wanna tell me what's been going on?" Arthur asked. He glanced at the other knight. "Leon told me that you collapsed in the corridor."

"I was stabbed," he said plainly.

"What?"

"Right..." His fingers brushed the area a few inches below his heart. "Here."

Arthur clenched his jaw, closing his eyes. "Gwaine, this is no time for games. There's nothing there."

"But there was. Merlin must have... he must have done something." Gwaine still didn't want to mention his magic. "He..."

"Gwaine, there is no Merlin. There is no wound, and frankly, you're beginning to scare me." He leaned in closer to the knight. "Maybe you should take a few days off."

"I couldn't agree more, sire," Gaius added. "You need to rest, Gwaine. When Leon brought you in, you had a fever. How long have you been having these hallucinations?"

The knight looked like he'd been struck. "Hallucinations? Wh... how... What? I'm not hallucinating. This-this is real. Merlin is real, and he's out there alone, and he needs our help."

He didn't he realize he was shouting until Arthur squeezed his shoulder. Gwaine bit his tongue, feeling hot tears behind his eyes. It wasn't fair. He was failing his friend. Someone who'd never let him down. And it wasn't fair.

"As of now, you are relieved of your duties until further notice," Arthur said flatly, leaving no room for argument. "You will report to Gaius and follow his regiment to the letter until you're better. Do you understand?"

Gwaine couldn't met his eyes. Shame swelled within him. "Yes, sire."

The king rose and pulled Gaius aside. They talked quietly to each other before he gestured to Leon to follow him. Before he walked out the door, he turned back to the knight.

"Take care, Gwaine."

Once he left, Gwaine sighed heavily and flopped down on the bed, covering his burning eyes with his arm. No one was going to listen to him. No one was going to help him. It only cemented that he was on his own.

Like Merlin.

"Gwaine, drink this."

The knight pulled his arm away and glanced at the physician skeptically. "Why?"

A small, amused smile spread across his face. "It's just water. If you want to get better, you need to stay hydrated."

"I don't need to get better. I need to find Merlin."

Gaius didn't answer except to gesture to the water. The knight rolled his eyes but drank the whole glass in one go. Almost immediately, he began to feel tired. He glared at the physician.

"You lied," he slurred, making a mental note to never trust Gaius again.

"Well, it's mostly water."

Only a moment later, the knight was out. This time, he didn't dream at all.

The next time he woke, the soft morning light coming in through the window gave the room a blue glow. Gwaine swallowed and yawned before he heard the small tinkling of glass jars in the main room below. He'd been put up in Merlin's room so Gaius could keep an eye on him. The very smell of the room helped Gwaine not feel like he was going insane. It smelled like Merlin. Like magic. He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep until he heard Gaius snore particularly loudly.

If Gaius was sleeping, then who was in his chambers?

Hope shot through him that it might be Merlin. It had been one week since he'd first seen Merlin in the Lower Town. One week of him slowly learning more and more about his friend.

One day since he'd learned that he'd been fatally stabbed.

By Morgana.

And somehow he'd survived.

He jumped out of bed and ever so gently cracked the door open.

He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at the sight of the green cloak.

It was him.

Merlin closed his bag and threw it on his back. His hair looked purple in the early morning light. Gwaine felt a rush of brotherly affection towards the man. He wanted to rush out and embrace him. He didn't even know exactly how long it had been since he'd really seen him. Since he'd really spoken to his friend.

The thing that stopped him was the broken look that crossed Merlin's face when Gaius snored again. The young man slowly crept up towards the cot where the physician was sleeping. When he reached it, he paused. He reached out his hand ever so slowly... and hesitantly pulled it back.

Gwaine didn't realize he was holding his breath until he inhaled sharply. The warlock gave his mentor one more glance before he slipped out the door, throwing his hood up.

The knight only waited a moment before following him out.