A/N Thank you so much everyone for the wonderful reviews! Especially the people who took their time to say what parts they liked best).
Welcome to chapter 4.
Chapter 4. In which it gets worse again. (Yes, it is possible).
"It could be unrequited." Katrina's voice was unsure, but Leslie urged her to continue:
"Go on, Katrina."
"I mean it could be all Andrea. Having a crush on one' boss in not unusual - so we could just boil it down to the assistant falling in love with Miranda and confessing her feelings in the car. When Miranda didn't return them… obviously… and told Andrea that it would never happen, Andrea was so devastated she had to get away. So she did the fountain run." Katrina raised her eyebrows at her boss and judging by a triumphant look on Leslie's face she had hit the jackpot.
"Genius. That way it is good for your public image - the Ice Queen turns into somebody who a sweet girl like Andrea here falls in love with - it's amazing! It's sexy, it will draw attention, it tells a story pf the person behind your Runway persona. And Miranda, you don't have to do anything. Just be your ever-gracious self and enjoy all the attention."
There was another pause with Andy shooting indignant looks at everyone around her when Miranda answered:
"That is acceptable."
At that point Andy had had enough.
"No, Miranda, that's not acceptable! Not only am I gay to the whole world, now I get to be the pathetic loser harbouring a secret crush on you, the godlike Miranda Priestly! How generous an offer is that, I bet a million girls would kill for it! Respectfully, I decline."
"Godlike. I like it!" Leslie exclaimed, " Derek, write it down, we'll use it later in the announcement."
"Are you people completely insane?!" Andy all but screamed when she realised no one was answering her. "Miranda? Miranda?"
Now that was embarrassing. Andy wondered when exactly her ex-boss had hung up - before her outburst or after.
"Calm down, Andrea, trust me, this is the best course of action here." Leslie shut her notebook, ready to leave the room.
"Trust you? Are you kidding me? Half an hour ago you said and I quote: "you Andrea will be included in the decision-making process and you will have our help". Right now I would like to use that decision making power I supposedly have to say that I will absolutely not do this."
"What would you rather say to the press Andrea? The tale of how you were tired and overworked and pissed off at your boss so that you quit during a business trip, moreover during the most crucial week of the year?" Leslie was looking at her expectantly and Andy knew this was a trap, but decided to try and walk into it. Anything was better then the offer on the table.
"Yeah, ok, that sounds unprofessional. I mean it' way… way irresponsible. But I'd rather say that, yes."
"You do realise you will never work again in this city after that, don't you? With that reputation and possibly blacklisted my Miranda your brightest occupation prospect will be Starbucks down the street."
"Awesome, and I… didn't think about that." Andy let out a defensive sigh. "Saying I was temporary crazy and all better now will not work either?"
"Starbucks." Leslie said, tilting her head and Andy let out a frustrated groan.
"What if I say Miranda was so horrible that no human being on earth could ever handle working with her. I have examples!"
"Courtroom for the breach of NDA, then Starbucks. Although the perk here would be to make some publicity on the controversy of Emily being an alien."
"Is this whole thing funny to you? You are obviously enjoying this!" Andy dropped her head on her hands. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" she muttered to herself, wondering how on earth she got herself into this whole mess.
"It's not that bad, you know." Hearing Katrina's voice sent her Andy over the edge.
"You! You don't get to say anything anymore! This is all your fault." Andy seethed at the girl, but Katrina only shrugged nonchalantly.
"Well, technically it is all your fault, but hey, you're welcome to blame the people who are trying to help."
"How is this sabotage called trying to help? I mean I get what Miranda gets out of this - this is such a great agreement we came to here! She gets to sit back and relax while I get to be the laughing stock of Manhattan, confessing my crush on her. I am the pitiful assistant while she is the ever-enticing mystery wrapped up in an enigma, inspiring awe and affection. Awesome deal, thanks for your help."
"Derek!" Leslie motioned once again, met with his "I'm getting this down."
At this point Andy was so angry she couldn't even say much. She looked around the room incredulously, but no one seemed to be taking her seriously.
"Listen," Katrina turned to her and continued softly. "I get it, this obviously doesn't look too… promising. But we can work on that."
"Work on what exactly?" Andy sounded defeated and she knew it. The worst thing was that she began to grasp both the fact that the idea was the best option for her and the enormity of the craziness of the whole situation and the future ahead of her at this point.
"The part where you get something out of it too of course. Right now you're seeing yourself humiliated and it's understandable, but we could come up with another angle."
"Oh, so you somehow know an angle where having the whole world know about your crush on someone who it is impossible to imagine will even spare you a second look is not humiliating?"
Katrina drew in a breath to respond when Leslie cut her off:
"Andrea, we could work around it. You know - you're quite outspoken for an assistant. That could do us good with the press - I bet they will love your… style. What is your dream job, please remind me?"
"Journalism." At this point Andy didn't bother to be too polite, those people were sharks. She felt she should have never called Emily. She should have boarded the plane and go home and let Miranda and her PR handle the Paris lesbian crisis by themselves.
"Ok. So you get to be in the spotlight. Imagine how many newspaper, magazines and websites will be interested in you after this! You can build your whole career on this surge of fame. It's an opportunity and whether to grab it and make use of it or waste it - is your choice "
"Yeah, the thing is I would like my talent to be the basis of my career, not some fake drama on Page 6."
Katrina snorted at this and Leslie shot the brunette a stern glare.
"You gotta work with what you got Andrea. And right now the gist is that this is it. I'm afraid I have another meeting to attend - we will schedule an interview for you tomorrow - Derek will send you the outline of your story."
"Can I at least work on the story of my own moral demise myself?" Andy cursed internally - having asked that question she sealed her own fate and Leslie's predatory smile only confirmed that.
"If you wish" the curly woman purred.
"It's not like I have a job or anything." Andy retorted, hoping that this fight was not over. She was sure that once she got home, had some whiskey and time to think she would be able to come up with a plan. A normal plan that is.
"Great, settled then. When you have the outline send it to me for approval" Leslie beamed, sliding her business card over the table for aNdy to take it. Andy could have killed the woman at this point. Instead she took the card.
"Awesome." the huge smile on Andy's face was as fake as this whole industry as she walked out of the room.
Next up: Chapter 5 in which Andy gets more then she ever bargained for.