The next time I woke my mouth felt like sandpaper. God, I needed a toothbrush. I got out of bed and stretched and felt the satisfying cracking of stiff joints. I ran my hands down my face clearing the sleep from my eyes. It felt like I had slept for forever. I flipped open the flip phone on my desk, it was 11 am. Great, nearly half the day gone. My eyes caught to my door. There was a piece of paper taped to it.

Be back in a couple of days. Call if you need something. –Sam

The writing was spidery and I smiled at the thoughtfulness. He didn't need to leave a note; they had told me several times that they'd be gone.

I dressed in yesterday's jeans and kept on the button down. No one would see me anyway. Who cares if I'm bra-free? I suppose I could do a load of laundry, after all, they had to have some clothes that needed to be washed. I did too. It was the least I could do. I entered the hallway, Sam's door was ajar and Dean's was shut. I peeked into his room, it was identical to mine and very tidy. The desk had a lot of books and papers on it, I didn't see any clothes lying around so I shut the door. I went to Dean's door and peeked in. Guns and weapons were affixed to the walls, his room was slightly different than ours. He had a record player and a shelf behind his bed. There were weapons everywhere. It was clean but I immediately knew I didn't want to mess with anything in there.

I shut the door with a small click.

I went back to the hamper that Sam shoved the clothes in last night. I sorted through them again and ah ha! At the bottom of the hamper, there was an assortment of flannels, tees, and jeans. I put them in with my two items and with a moment of fiddling I started the washer. It gave a great whine and started to fill with water.

I hummed as I went through my morning routine, well went through it as best as I could without a hair brush, tooth brush, or face wash. I finger washed my teeth with some spare toothpaste I found in the bathroom and pulled my hair up and out of my face with the elastic I had.

Turns out being alone in a bunker is about as boring as you'd expect it to be. The books in the library were as dry as an English textbook, the only shot at music I had was in Dean's room, which I wouldn't venture into without permission, and the garage was interesting for about thirty minutes before I realize I couldn't find any of the keys. There were rooms filled with a bunch of mysterious junk, but with demons and angels lurking around I wasn't confident rummaging through it. There was also a basement, which just the word creeps me out. A bunch of rooms had loads of outdated computer equipment. No watching Netflix on them. In the end, I just settled on going to the kitchen and try to bake. I hadn't done it in forever and their fridge was surprisingly stocked. I half expected just beer and takeout.

I made some chocolate chip cookies. That ate up about an hour, then I tried to make a cake, which ended up in the trash. I grabbed a couple cookies and a glass of milk. This was going to be a long…I couldn't even give an estimate for how long I'd be here. Hades wouldn't be allowed to the above world for centuries. Would I be here for centuries? How did I even age? Did I age?

I finished my cookies, rubbing the crumbs off on my pants. I hung our now clean clothes on the drying line and sighed. I had been avoiding it but it was time to find out what was in that box. Back in my room, I sat cross-legged on the bed, box in front of me. I took a deep breath and flipped it open. Clothes that I hung up still sat on top. I took them out of the box and set them aside. There was literally stacks and stacks of letters in there. Some were aged with yellow, others looked pristine. I pulled the top one out. On the front was my name written in flowy cursive. I opened the seal and started to read. It was her words, Persephone, her words on the day she gave me up. Her perspective on the entire ordeal, she didn't get out of bed for weeks. Hades was distant, until he pushed her, pushed her to write these letters. The next letter had my name again, this time in neat but distinctive print.

My Girl,

You will never know me. You will never know mytouch,or the love I have for you. I felt you kick, turn, and for a brief moment, I heard you cry. I hope these letters get to you somehow. I hope you somehow understand our reasons; we've always wanted you. It was a cruel trick of fate to not keep you when we finally had you. We've had your room ready for centuries before you were here and it pains me to now that the only time you'll have it is when you've passed on.

I'll write later.

Love Always,

Hades

The letter was smudged at the end. I had to stop reading, a lump of emotion lodged itself in my throat. There were hundreds of letters in the box. Hundreds of explanations, stories, wishes. Hundreds of what ifs. It would only lead to my what ifs, what if I was able to grow up in their presence, loved and cherished, what if that was all I knew? I folded the letters back into their respective envelopes and closed the box. I would certainly read more later, but it would be too much for one day to read anymore.

My fingers clasped around the necklace at my neck. I ran my fingertips over the smooth pendant. I longed to say her name, to talk to her even though she couldn't respond. When I was little I'd make up imaginary friends and pretend they were my Mother and we'd have entire conversations. It was about little things, what I did at school that day, my friends, and the books I had been reading. I pulled my hand away from the jewelry and flopped back on the bed.

I just wished I had someone to talk to, hell I'd take a Walkman at this point just to have some stimulus.

Bang!

I sat up straight as a board.

I rushed to the desk and picked up the phone. I flipped it open and scrolled to the correct contact. It rang for a few seconds. "Cora?" Sam's voice was laced with concern.

"You're not back, by chance, are you?" I could hear the shakiness in my voice.

"No, we're not." His breath caught in his throat. "Is someone there with you?"

"I heard a bang, I haven't…I mean…" He swore into the phone.

"Okay, okay, look it might be nothing."

"But if it's not?" My voice was quiet and I stared at the door, expecting it to burst open at any moment.

"You need to get to the basement. There's a trap there that'll keep damn near anything in it." His breath rushed out. "But you need to check." I swallowed heavily, of course he'd say that. "Stay on the phone with me." I could hear him pull the phone away from his ear and mutter something to Dean.

My hand felt ice cold as I opened the door and my body felt like it was weighed down with concrete. I looked down each end of the corridor. Nothing. Despite the fact that I'd been up and down the hallway all day, it felt dark and ominous. The type of hallway that you expect something to jump out at you at any moment. I could hear Sam's breathing from the phone and I'm sure he could hear my heavy gasps as well. I turned the corner and further down the hallway I could see that an entire table was upended. "There's a table knocked over." I whispered into the phone. I heard Sam repeat the comment to Dean and then some muffled swearing.

I stopped at the arch of the library. I looked both ways and didn't see anything. My bare feet stepped into the library and I cautiously walked to the overturned table. "Fuck." I breathed into the phone as it came into view.

"Cora? Cora what is it?" Sam said urgently.

"It's Castiel," I breathed. "he's hurt, badly." He was, blood soaked his mangled shirt. His face resembled a piece of raw meat. His eyes were closed and his wings were almost nonexistent. But the most remarkable thing was the blue shining through his injuries. It was like he was a jack-o-lantern. A puddle of blood was growing beneath him.

I ran around table, and knelt by his side, my pants immediately becoming soaked in the blood. I held the phone in the crease in my neck. "What do I do Sam? There's so much blood."

"Okay, okay, he's an angel so he'll heal fast. Just get him up." My blood ran cold, he was fading, his light was fading.

"He's fading Sam, his blue light its fading." Shocked silence met my declaration. "What do I do?" I was becoming hysterical. My hands fluttered over his body, not sure what I was supposed to do.

"Try and stop the bleeding. We'll be there in a couple of hours." The phone beeped. The phone clattered to the floor as I grabbed his face between my palms.

"Castiel!" I tapped his face. "Castiel!" I did so again. His brilliant blue half lidded bleary eyes met mine. "You have to tell me what to do." His mouth opened to tell me something but all I heard were gurgles. "No, no, no. C'mon." His eyes fluttered shut. I couldn't do this here. With strength I never thought I had I slung his arm around my shoulder and with a great tug, I got us both to our feet. I looped an arm around his waist and I dragged him down the hallway. I knew he was still alive by the wheezing breaths and the dim glow of his body. I felt like I was moving in slow motion. The blood on the bottom of my feet made everything slippy and I fought to keep my balance every step of the way. I turned the corner and I could see my door when suddenly I couldn't hold him anymore. We tumbled to the ground and he didn't make a sound despite the fact that he had hit is head pretty hard.

I panted.

He was barely glowing anymore and his wings were almost invisible. This can't happen, I wouldn't let this happen. With clumsy fingers, I undid his messy tie and then I grasped the shirt's collar and ripped it down the center. Buttons flung everywhere making little pings as they went. His torso was just ribbons of flesh. I healed myself, I surely could heal him.

I pressed my hands to his bare bloody flesh and closed my eyes.

I was wired with panic and urgency, I needed this to work. He's blunt and clueless, but from the time I had spent with him he had changed me. Though it was subtle, I had never had someone look at me, look right through me and seem to see who I really was. I didn't know if that was an angel trait but someone that can make you feel validated with just one look, well, that's pretty special.

I felt a sudden wash of peace cover me.

The air around me felt, calm and still. My heart felt like it was beating in tandem with his weak pulse. I opened my eyes. Underneath my hands, a warm orange glow was spreading throughout his injured form. As the tendrils went I could see them knitting flesh back together. The longer the light went the more tired I got. By the time it reached his face I was almost down for the count. His wings were nearly back to their wispy black color and I was gone.

"Silly girl." I snapped to attention. I was in the bunker but I wasn't. Everything was in a sepia tone. By my side was my Mother.

"Persephone?" My voice echoed like I was at the bottom of a cavern.

"That was reckless," She scolded. "giving your own life force to heal the nearly dead. An angel no less."

"I'm dead?" I was surprisingly blasé about that. Of course, I'd die at my own hands, I wasn't the important one, Castiel, Sam, Dean, they were the important ones.

"Hades pulled some strings." She waved. "It won't happen again, though." She sighed. "He's attractive," She snapped, and the scene shifted. I was slumped over Castiel's body, he looked completely healthy, despite the blood stains on his clothing. "I'll give you that, but you can't put your life at risk like that again."

"But-"

She shot me a look and I shut up. "You can heal, in small doses. But you brought him back from near death. When you do that you trade one like for another, doing it to yourself when you're injured there's no problem, but others." She shook her head.

"Well if you told me the rules, or god forbid, sent me a damn handbook I wouldn't make these mistakes." I threw my hands up in exasperation. Beneath my body Castiel was stirring.

"We haven't got long." Persephone grabbed my hand. "Please let's not argue." I swallowed heavily, it was always goodbyes with her.

"I started the letters today." She smiled at me a hint of melancholy in it. "Hades seems like a great person." Tears welled in her eyes.

"He is." She screwed her eyes shut and opened them again. "The box I gave you, I can send things if you want. I have a twin one on my vanity, just ask." I nodded.

"I do want something." I paused for a moment the words processing in my mind. "I'd really love a picture of you guys." The smile she gave me was enough to power the city of Los Angeles for a year.

I watched as Castiel's eyes opened and he blinked in confusion. His gaze shifted down to my face and he curled his arm around my back as he sat up. My head limply hung over his arm as he situated us so that I was face up instead in down. He said something I couldn't hear. It was odd, it was like I was watching a movie of my own life.

"What's going to happen?" I tore my eyes from the sight to Persephone.

"He'll bring you back."

"So I am dead?" I was confused.

She shook her head. "You're nearly dead, most likely in a coma."

"Is he going to be okay?" She grinned at my question.

"He'll be a little…supercharged for a little bit." I pulled my attention back to the spectacle in front of me. Castiel's forehead rested on my own and his palm cupped my cheek. His eyes were closed and his brow furrowed. "This is it dear, try to be careful next time." The pressure of her fingers slowly dissipated and the world slowly got brighter. It got so bright that I was forced to close my eyes. Then the feeling of free fall.

I gasped and my eyes popped open and I was staring into blue. I grabbed onto his arm supporting my head as it felt like I was having a panic attack. My body jolted and he held on tight. I was half on him and at each breath it felt like it was the first breath I had ever taken. It was like bliss but also like shards of glass embedding themselves on my insides. His shadowy wings enclosed around us, blotting out the brighter light. Every sensation was new, yet it was achingly familiar. "Castiel." I gasped, my voice sounding paper thin.

"Coming back from the other side is painful, just breathe." We stayed in that position until my lungs didn't feel like they were squeezing out every molecule of oxygen I was taking in and my body stopped its violent shivers.

Gradually I loosened my fingers from his arm and his hands untangled themselves from their embrace. "Thank you." I hoarsely responded. He helped me sit up and prop me against the wall. My bedroom was feet away but I couldn't find it in me to make the journey.

"I should be telling you that." His shoulder brushed mine as he leaned back and I gave him a weak smile. His wings slumped to the floor, one of them covering my lap. My hands relished the feel of the downy soft feathers. "What you did was risky."

"I seem to have a penchant for that." I tried to joke but he just frowned.

"It is the second time you've risked yourself for me. Why?" He looked at me earnestly.

"I just…I…why do you risk yourself for Sam and Dean?" I stuttered and threaded my fingers through his feathers.

Castiel took a moment. "They're my friends."

"Well, I'd like to be your friend Castiel." His wing twitched beneath my fingers, I slowly pulled my hand away. "You've saved me, given me your jacket, and covered for me, that seems to be friend qualities for me."

Castiel's face took an expression I had never seen before, he smiled. He looked gorgeous when he smiled. His eyes crinkled up in the corners and his entire face lit up. "Friends." He agreed.

Shit, I was in deep if his smile could make me feel like I didn't have a care in the world.

"Cas!" I thumped my head against the wall. The brothers were back. There were several expletives as they followed the obvious blood trail; their pounding footsteps got closer and voices got louder. Dean rounded the corner first and taking in my slumped over form and Cas's state of undressed he uttered: "What the hell happened?" He kneeled beside us and checked us both. Sam was shortly behind him. They were dressed in suits.

"Crowley," Castiel said shortly. Both brothers cursed. "he wanted to know how to get to the bunker." The brothers held a question in their eyes. Castiel shook his head. "He doesn't know." They both breathed a sigh of relief.

"He'll be after you guys next," I said quietly. "maybe I should—"

"No!" Everyone exclaimed before I got out the sentence. The brothers glared me down and Castiel frowned.

Sam cleared his throat as the silence got uncomfortable. "There's a lot of blood, Cas. How'd you heal so fast?"

Castiel floundered for a moment, opening and closing his mouth. "It was me." I jumped in. "It was all me." I swallowed heavily. "I…uh almost killed myself doing it." An unexpected yawn escaped my mouth.

From Deans posture, I knew he wanted to say something, but instead he just muttered. "Let's get you to bed." I waved off the offered hands to help me up and instead struggled to my feet. The blood had dried, on the floor, on me, how long had we been out? On shaky legs and panting, I made it to my feet. I weakly smiled in triumph and Sam and Dean stepped back giving me room to walk forward. Castiel stood by my side. The first two steps were great but on the third, my knees buckled and I braced myself for the inevitable smack against the floor. It didn't come. Instead, I was caught by my waist and swung up into strong arms.

"Thanks." I mumbled my face heating.

"It's what friends are for." His gruff voice rang clear in my head.

I hadn't been carried since I was a child. It was magical, that the only word I could use to describe it. The feeling of weightlessness, feeling the strength of the arms beneath you. The scent of the man behind it. It was intoxicating and I couldn't get used to it. The only beings on this planet that could carry me were some deceptively strong angels, body builders, and I imagined any other supernatural creatures that weren't so friendly.

Castiel nudged the door open and set me on my bed. My clothes and the box were still on it. God, that seemed forever ago. I hadn't been able to appreciate the view before, but now that I was flat on my back and he was setting the box on the desk I could. He wasn't overly built, he was firm, toned, but not excessively. There were no eight packs on this guy, no he looked like a regular old human. I would have been tricked that he was if I couldn't see the glowing eyes and the wings on his back. He moved to leave. "Castiel?" I mumbled my voice already thick with sleep. He paused and turned. "I'm really glad I saved you." He gave me a small grin and that was the last thing I saw before slept.