DISCLAIMER: I don't think I will ever own Pretty Little Liars and all its characters. All characters in this fanfic except for maybe three belong to PLL. A few events in this fanfic were borrowed from the storyline of the PLL TV series. Since I never read the books and mostly focus on PAILY stuff when watching PLL, I have no clear idea about 'A' and their motives for torturing the Liars. That said the motives of the 'A'-team in this fanfic are entirely of my own creation.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

~For the lengthy version of what this fanfic is all about, please refer to the Author's Note in the first two chapters.

~A few lyrics from the song "The Funeral" by Band of Horses was used in this chapter.

~A portion of this chapter contains self-harm, so please don't read it if you are easily triggered. My portrayal of Paige, her self-harm and her behavior and interactions while doing so are solely based on my experience when I used to do it.

~To all who took the time to post their reviews about the story so far, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I am seriously overwhelmed by your comments. Your words of praise about my writing are so awe-inspiring. I really hope I'll be able to give justice to the story I'm trying to tell. I apologize if I can only post one chapter each week because I still need to polish some of the details in every chapter I finish before posting it so that the story flows well. Thanks for taking the time to read my fanfic and deciding it was worth following!~

Chapter 4: The Domino Effect

"Repercussions are serious and they will take you places." – Bryan Clay

"We need to get her to the nearest hospital."

"Calm down. We'll get there. Just keep your eyes on the road Nick."

"Damn it. I can't see anything in this freaking weather. You better dial 911. Tell them there's a fire in the marina."

"Ok. Watch your speed. The road's slippery."

"We need to get to the hospital fast."

"I know. Just be careful."

"She's so cold."

"Emily she's going to be fine. I think there are some blankets back there. Try to keep her warm."

"Em."

"Paige! Thank God you're finally awake. It's okay, you're safe now. Take it easy. We're taking you to the hospital."

"What? No. No hospital. I'm fine."

"You need to get checked out just to make sure you're fine."

"Dad? Mom? What's going on? How did you find me?"

"Emily asked for our help when she realized you were missing."

"What?! Em…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."

"You shouldn't have dragged them into this."

"I know. I panicked. I'm so sorry. But I can't lose you."

"I'm fine you guys. Really. Just take me home. I just need to rest for a bit."

"Just to be sure, we're still taking you. We're almost there."

"Dad watch out!"

Paige jolted awake, her heart pounding wildly. Not again. She took a deep, shaky breath and sat up from the bed. Disoriented, she took a minute to calm down, ran a hand through her hair and then looked at her surroundings. She turned to see if she woke up Dani who was sleeping beside her. Still fast asleep. Good. Her eyes fell on the clock on the bedside table. 2:17 am. She placed her head on her hands and sighed. Today was the day her parents died.

Two weeks have passed since Paige and Dani returned to Rosewood. Other than the text message they received from 'A' that day, things have been relatively quiet. At least on their side of things. But Paige had a sneaking suspicion 'A' was back to torturing Emily and her friends. Last week, Paige ran into Hanna and Aria while she was out for a jog and when she asked how Emily was doing and if they received any more messages from 'A', the girls were quick to make an exit, making up weak excuses about how Hanna needed to go to the library (at 6 in the morning on a Saturday) and Aria had to go babysit Malcolm (who Paige just passed by a couple of blocks ago having breakfast with Ezra). She and Emily haven't seen or talked to each other again after that emotionally exhausting dinner. She figured Emily was busy with her classes, swim practice and her job at the Brew and that she was giving Paige her space. It was better that way anyway. That meant she, Dani and Caleb can follow new leads without interruptions.

When she tried to ask Caleb why the girls were acting so weird, Caleb just cryptically told her to leave it alone for now and to just focus on finding more leads. Paige decided to heed his advice. The files in the micro disc Caleb gave them held more questions than answers though and for days they've tried to follow every lead they can while trying to act inconspicuously.

Caleb made sure he wasn't seen interacting with Dani because to the residents of Rosewood, they had no reason to be seen together. They were pretty sure 'A' didn't know Dani and Caleb knew each other because after the scandal that drove Dani's family to leave Rosewood, Dani's parents orchestrated an accident to make it look like they perished and that Dani was the only one left. They changed their identities and assumed new lives with Dani's father eventually marrying Caleb's mother. Caleb's mom knew of Dani's existence and why it was important that they pretend she doesn't exist. When Caleb visited her, she told him about Dani and asked him to protect his stepsister. The day he met Dani for the first time outside of Rosewood, she told him of the role 'A' played in the scandal that ruined her family's life in Rosewood years ago and since then he has vowed to get to the bottom of things for the sake of Hanna and his new family. That's why he usually went off on his own to pursue a lead while Paige and Dani followed leads from their motel room. Caleb figured it was safer that way. But because he can't follow every lead at the same time the progress was slow. The stepsiblings noticed the mounting frustration in Paige so they orchestrated a faux introduction. Dani purposely ran into Caleb in public one day and pretended she was interested in him. Caleb then made it seem like he was cheating on Hanna so they could finally have an excuse to act inconspicuous while they followed leads whether separately or together. And today was no exception. The stepsiblings knew how important today was for Paige so they made themselves scarce and told her they were going to follow the lead Caleb found regarding a police report of an attempted burglary on the McCullers residence the night of the accident.

After that nightmare woke her up, Paige had trouble sleeping again so she just sat on the bed and decided to wait until there was enough light to see the road when she went for a run. On her way back to the motel, she stopped by a flower shop and bought a dozen red tulips. Her dad used to give her mom tulips every day. She then went to the bakery her mom used to frequent and bought some freshly baked blueberry muffins, her dad's favorite. Once she returned to the motel, she took a shower and changed into a white sheath dress then slipped on a pair of lavender flat shoes. Her parents have always wanted to see her wear a dress and even if it wasn't really her thing, just for today she wanted to fulfill their wish. She thought of tying her hair into a ponytail but after some thought she decided to just leave her hair down. She ate in nervous silence while waiting for the cab that would take her to the cemetery.

Emily watched from a distance as Paige got into the cab, her breath catching in her throat and her heart pounding furiously at the sight of Paige in that dress. Paige hated wearing dresses. She was never comfortable in them so Emily had never seen Paige in a dress before. But seeing her today in one, she can't help but wish Paige wasn't so vehemently opposed to it. She looked beyond stunning and she moved with such grace she knew Paige's parents would be so happy if they could just see her right now. She knew what today was. In the two years that Paige was gone, she visited the graves of Paige's parents countless times but the days that really mattered were the days of the funeral and today. Each time she hoped Paige would show up but she never did. She figured when Paige was ready she'll visit them. She wanted to call Paige that morning to see if she wanted some company but she reckoned if Paige decided to visit them today for the first time since the funeral, she would want to do it alone.

Emily sighed. And then there's the issue of her indiscretion with Tara. She can't face Paige now that that secret was dredged up by 'A'. When her friends found her at the parking lot of her school after her distressed call she could barely speak between her sobs. That thing with Tara was something she never told them and never confessed to Paige. Once was enough and she was so lucky Paige forgave her for it. But twice? Paige would end things with her in an instant. Not to mention probably loathe her for as long as she lived. That's why she never breathed a word of what happened that day. She and Paige were in such a bad place back then it was like they were sitting on a powder keg and one wrong move could trigger an explosion. That wrong move came in the form of Tara. Now she didn't know what to do. Her friends didn't know what to say to her when she told them. They can't say it's okay because seriously, when is cheating ever okay? They can't say Paige will understand because they don't know what it's like to be cheated on. Twice.

Finally Hanna told her she already knew what she needed to do. Emily said she did. But telling the truth now terrifies her because she could lose Paige all over again and she didn't exactly handle the first time very well. Aria told her to trust Paige. When Emily said she does, Aria clarified she meant surrender to that trust and believe that Paige will not easily give up on them. Spencer reluctantly said that they always found their way back to each other and if their love is strong enough they will find a way to get past it. Emily still wasn't sure but she knew she had to tell Paige before 'A' does it for her. That was two weeks ago. Since then she has actively avoided any form of interaction with Paige. She never called or visited her after their emotionally-charged dinner. She could just imagine what Paige must think. If they were trying to be friends Emily was being the worst kind. But she still didn't have enough courage to tell Paige. She still couldn't surrender. Not when there was so much riding on it.

Paige laid down the flowers on her parents' graves and stood in silence for a while before finally clearing her throat and started talking to them.

"Hey dad. Hey mom. I know it's been a while since I came here. Sorry." She said softly. "For everything."

She took a deep breath when she felt her rage starting to consume her.

"I've been following some leads for a while now and though it's been slow I, uh, managed to make some progress. Dani's been helping me out a lot. She's been such a trooper through all of this." She cleared her throat again. "I'm doing better. Considering. Stopped going to college though, I kind of put that plan on hold for a while. But don't worry dad, I'll get right back on it soon."

She made a 360-degree turn and smiled wistfully, "So how do you guys like my dress? I must look silly right? You guys are probably rolling around in there laughing at me. Not cool. Told you guys I can't pull this one off." She paused. "But yeah. Just for today I wore one. And uh, Emily and I aren't together anymore. I know, I know. It took some time for you guys to love her so I'm sorry. I screwed that one up on my own."

She heard the sob in her voice before she realized she was crying. "I miss you guys so much. I'm so, so sorry." She whispered brokenly. "Everything hurts right now. It's not fair." She closed her eyes in agony and out of nowhere; the painful memories flooded her mind like a terrible horror movie on repeat.

Whoever said that the moment you were about to die your life flashes before your eyes was lying. Your life doesn't flash before your eyes. Your instinct takes over instead. Paige learned that the instant she heard the sickening crunch of metal as their car broke through the steel barriers and careened off the cliff. As she watched in slow motion from the backseat as the nose of the car rapidly approached the ledger protruding from the cliff face. As she saw Emily's body twist at an odd angle that would surely propel her to the front of the car and to certain death. As she felt her body move of its own accord to block the space between the driver's seat and the passenger seat while facing Emily in an attempt to stop it. As she felt the impact of Emily's body hitting her hard and the excruciating pain that told her she broke something. As she smiled faintly knowing Emily is alive and safe. As she heard Emily's screams while she succumbed to the pain. Then everything went black…

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"BPs dropping. She's crashing. Damn it. Where is all this blood coming from?" Paige heard someone say. She felt so tired, her eyes heavy. She was drifting in and out of consciousness, struggling to breathe, to stay awake…

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"Charge to 300! Clear!" Paige felt the current jolt through her body again, resuscitating her for what felt like the hundredth time. Somewhere she thought she heard Emily's voice telling her she loves her and that everything is going to be fine. She struggled to speak but the blackness overwhelmed her…

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Paige was confined in the ICU for several weeks, her condition heavily monitored by the doctors. The injuries she sustained from the car crash among other things constituted of a clavicle fracture, several broken ribs, abdominal trauma and a ruptured spleen. She had to be revived several times on the way to the hospital and immediately went into surgery. Emily sustained a broken wrist and some cuts and bruises from the broken glasses when the car windows shattered. She never left the hospital, deathly afraid that Paige's condition would get worse. The doctors recommended that the state of Paige's parents be revealed to her when she's stable noting that her body might not be able to handle the psychological trauma of the news. When Paige was finally transferred to a regular hospital room, Emily and her parents delicately broke to her the news but she already had a sinking sensation of her loss even before they said it. Her father died upon impact. Her mother was on life support ever since the accident and Paige had to make a decision. She felt numb. For days she just sat on her hospital bed, staring into space, reliving every moment before, during and after the crash. It was taking all of her energy to just breathe. She wanted to sleep and never wake up. She wanted to forget everything. She wanted to die.

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Emily's friends spent most of their time taking turns watching over her. Sometimes Emily's parents came to visit but most days it was just her and Emily. Emily tried to engage Paige in conversations but Paige just retreated to her own world. She flinched every time Emily tried to touch her and though Paige knew that her knee-jerk reaction hurt Emily, she didn't care. Right now she can't bring herself to care. The doctors noticed the signs of psychological trauma Paige was exhibiting and suggested she see a therapist or attend support groups to help her cope with the loss. Everyone wanted to help. Everyone kept saying words of comfort, assurances that things will get better, trying to boost her morale. She wanted everyone to shut up. She wanted to die.

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When Paige was well enough to stand, she finally went to her mother's room to see her. Emily and her parents watched from the hallway as the reality of what happened finally hit Paige and she let out an anguished cry before breaking down into uncontrollable sobs. Emily started to go inside to comfort Paige but her mother stopped her, wordlessly telling her to let Paige grieve on her own. Emily hugged her mother in tears, at a loss as to how to help Paige through this, silently blaming herself for Paige's loss. Paige spoke a few words to her mother before finally turning off the machines that sustained her all this time. When the time of death was called, Paige dazedly walked out of the room, walking past Emily without looking at her. Once Paige was back in her room and has settled on the bed, Emily pleadingly asked her to say something. Anything. She asked Paige to lash out at her, blame her. But Paige just turned her back to Emily. She had nothing to say to her. She just wanted to die.

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The funeral was held on a rainy day in Rosewood. Amidst the clap of thunder and the heavy rain, the priest held a poignant service. Friends of her parents as well as Paige's friends were there to pay their respects. Emily's friends stood beside her as she watched from afar, guilt-ridden. She couldn't bring herself to attend the funeral when Paige has made it clear that she wasn't wanted. She couldn't bring herself to attend the funeral she somehow caused. When the mourners have all gone, Paige was the only one left in front of her parents' graves, not caring that the rain was soaking her. Emily finally gathered the courage to approach her, steeling herself for Paige's hurtful silence and stood beside her, sheltering them both from the pouring rain with her umbrella. She was surprised when Paige spoke.

"Where were you?" Paige asked, her voice hoarse, barely above a whisper.

"I was at the back. I wasn't sure you wanted me to come so I stayed there with my friends." Emily admitted.

Paige nodded. They stood in silence for a while until Emily finally decided to hold Paige's hand. It was cold, like the night of the accident. Emily held her hand firmly before Paige broke the contact for a second to intertwine them instead. Emily felt a sob escape her lips and instinctively half-turned her body towards Paige's, leaning her forehead lightly on Paige's uninjured shoulder. "I'm so sorry." She whispered, crying. Paige swallowed the bitterness she was feeling and whispered in her ear, "It wasn't your fault. It was mine." Emily looked up at her in confusion. Paige kissed Emily's forehead gently before disentangling their hands and wordlessly walked away from her amidst the pouring rain.

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That night the nightmares started. It was always the same dream. The beginning. The end. Always the same. She always saw the monster she created that night. She couldn't escape it. Emily decided to live with Paige once she was released from the hospital. Her parents agreed to the temporary living situation knowing Paige and Emily needed each other. She slept beside Paige even if it felt like their relationship has been put on hold indefinitely. Paige was pulling away from her. Ever since the accident, apart from the one time Paige held her hand at the cemetery, Paige seemed like she was reluctant to touch Emily and that frustrated her. She couldn't help but wonder if Paige has hated her all this time for coming to her rescue that night and just didn't have the courage to say it to her face. Paige never opened up to her about it whenever she tried to steer the conversation towards that night, choosing instead to retreat to her own world. When Emily noticed Paige's night terrors and panic attacks, she pleaded with her to see a doctor about it. She was given a prescription for antidepressants but Paige didn't want to be dependent on those. She tried to go to grief counseling but didn't find it helpful and for a while she attended support groups until one day she decided it wasn't helping either.

She and Emily started to constantly argue, the latter telling her the reason the counseling and support groups weren't working was because Paige didn't want to open up, begging her to let people help for once. Fed up, Paige finally lashed out at Emily, telling her to mind her own business and just leave her alone. Tears stinging her eyes, Emily saw for the first time a glimpse of the rage she knew Paige was keeping at bay all along and she felt scared for Paige.

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Paige was home alone when she felt the urge again. She was about to jump into the shower when she saw the cutter on her way to the bathroom. Without hesitating she grabbed it and brought it with her. She let the water run through her body, going through the motions of washing herself calmly. When she was done, she stayed a little longer under the warm water and closed her eyes before raising her head momentarily to feel the water on her face. Her skin was buzzing with anticipation. It had been a while since she felt anything other than rage. It felt good. She blindly grabbed for the cutter by the sink and opened her eyes, staring at the wall in front of her. Her mind was suddenly buzzing. Her skin expecting the feel of the cold blade soon. It had been a while since she did this and she knew it would sting. But she wanted to feel that pain again. The pain that she could control. She let the blade touch her thigh gently, lightly at first, getting herself used to the sting. Then she let herself feel the pain. She watched mesmerized as her blood tainted the floor. It was such a release. She did one more cut just for good measure. And then another just in case.

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Emily noticed the change in Paige's attitude in the days that followed. She seemed less troubled than usual and made conversation about anything but the accident. She was also starting to pay attention to Emily again. Emily figured she wouldn't force the issue and ask what Paige was on. The important thing was Paige was starting to get better. A few weeks later, she moved out of Paige's house. Despite the nightmares she kept having every night, Paige assured Emily she was getting better and that Emily's parents probably miss having her around so she reluctantly agreed to move out. Paige was helping her with the boxes when she accidentally bumped her thigh on the doorway and she inadvertently winced. Emily saw this and asked what happened. Paige just dismissed it saying her thigh was sore from swimming.

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Now that Emily was gone, Paige looked forward to getting the nightmares. She was used to becoming a monster in her dreams. At night she let the monster inside her come out. Because Paige was comforted with the thought that in the morning she could punish that monster relentlessly. Over and over and over again.

"Ow!" Paige said before she could stop herself when Emily accidentally leaned on her thigh while trying to grab the remote control on Paige's other side on the sofa. They were watching a movie at Paige's house, another attempt to get back to where their relationship used to be.

"Sorry." Emily said hurriedly. "Your muscles still sore from swimming?" She asked Paige curiously.

"Yeah. But it will go away sooner or later." Paige said dismissively, grateful for the excuse Emily gave her.

"Where does it hurt? Maybe I could massage it." Emily offered.

"Em, I'm fine. Really. Let's just go back to watching the movie." Paige said, trying to shift Emily's attention. It didn't work.

"What aren't you telling me?" Emily asked, suspicious.

"What do you mean?" Paige said, trying to look confused.

Without another word, before Paige could even react, Emily ran up the stairs to Paige's room, looking everywhere for the thing she hoped she wouldn't discover. Not finding anything in the room, she decided to go to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, letting out a sob when she saw she was right. She turned around to see Paige standing behind her, looking on the bathroom floor.

"Since when?" She asked Paige. "I thought you were getting better? You said you were getting better!" Emily shouted, fear more than anger evident in her voice.

"I am getting better. This way I get to live with the consequences." Paige answered, trying to make Emily understand. "Don't you get it? I can function because of this. I can feel because of this." Paige said, showing Emily the scars. "I need to cut because the only time I feel anything other than rage is when that blade touches my skin."

The meaning of Paige's words shocked Emily. "You don't feel anything when you're with me?" Emily whispered, dazed. "You'd rather feel pain than love? What about me Paige? Don't you need me? Am I not enough reason for you to want to feel? To live?" She asked, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"There comes a point when even that isn't enough." Paige said stoically. She felt the stinging sensation on her cheek before she could comprehend what happened. The slap Emily gave her was followed immediately by Emily's arms wrapping around her neck tightly. Paige stood, unmoving.

"I love you. So much. But I can't keep doing this." Emily sobbed.

Paige's eyes widened at the realization of what she just said to Emily and finally wrapped her arms around Emily's waist, resting her head on Emily's shoulder as the tears escaped from her eyes unwillingly. "I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"Just tell me what's wrong." Emily said quietly. "Please let me in." She begged.

Paige shook her head, terrified to tell Emily the real reason she kept punishing herself, and just let the tears fall. "I'm in trouble aren't I? I need help." She whispered finally.

Emily's eyes brimmed with tears again and she looked at Paige. "Okay. We'll get you help." She assured her. "You'll get better. We'll be fine."

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With the help of Emily's parents, they found a support group for people battling with Major Depressive Disorder. They met at Radnor, a town near Rosewood, and while at first Emily drove Paige to and from meetings, the exhaustion was affecting Emily's performance at school and in swimming so Paige decided she should temporarily move to Radnor until she gets better. Emily had her misgivings but Paige promised this time she will get better for Emily. Emily finally relented on the condition that she gets to stay with Paige during the weekends. Paige agreed as long as it won't affect Emily's life outside of Paige. The first few weeks that Emily came to visit were awkward. They found themselves engaged in small talks, with her lying and telling Emily that she was making progress even if she was merely sharing to the group insignificant things and not the real reason for her rage and desire to punish herself constantly. When the weekend was about to come to an end and Emily had to leave for Rosewood, their goodbyes amounted to awkward hugs and kisses on the cheek. They were drifting further apart.

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Emily was late getting to Radnor the day of Paige's return to Rosewood. When she finally arrived, Paige immediately noticed that Emily had been crying and asked why she seemed so upset. Emily said she just missed having Paige around but everything is okay now. And now that Paige is better they can start over. But on the drive home, Paige realized that there was no starting over. Something felt different between them.

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For a few weeks, Paige tried to adjust to life in Rosewood without her parents but the nightmares never left her, something she never told Emily. Though she wasn't physically punishing herself anymore, Paige became more and more restless and the rage she was feeling ever since the accident got harder to control. She could feel it and she knew she had to do something or she could end up hurting Emily more than she already had. She decided to leave Rosewood. When Emily asked why, she said that her time at the support group made her want to channel all her destructive feelings and tendencies into something productive. Like find out what really happened the night of the accident. Emily was against the idea, saying it was dangerous and that she was just getting better. Paige told her she was far from better and that she and Emily have no chance of getting back to being a normal couple if she can't let go of that night.

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"This spot certainly brings back memories." Emily said as she approached Paige from behind, the music from one of the restaurants lining the boardwalk carrying softly to the place where they stood.

"Yeah. It does." Paige said quietly before facing Emily, a wave of sadness suddenly hitting her when she realized there was no turning back now. "Thanks for coming." She said, trying her best to smile.

"I almost didn't, actually." Emily admitted as she walked towards Paige, one hand outstretched. "Dance with me McCullers." She smiled sadly.

Paige took Emily's hand, pulling her close. Emily rested her head on Paige's chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart. They swayed slowly to the music.

"I love you. Remember that." Paige whispered to her fervently, making Emily move closer to her.

I'm coming up only to hold you under

Paige cleared her throat. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

And coming up only to show you wrong

"Are you sure you have to leave?" Emily asked. "I want to come with you." Emily said quietly when Paige nodded her head.

And to know you is hard; we wonder...

"Are you sure about that?" Paige whispered, her breath catching in her throat.

To know you all wrong; we warn.

Emily exhaled slowly. "Back when Maya asked me to do it I said no because it didn't feel right." She confessed. "But now, yes. Just ask me to come with you and I'll do it." She said pleadingly.

Ooooooooh, Oooooooooh

"I can't ask you to do that Em. I don't want to take you away from everything. It's still not right." Paige said, pained.

Ooooooooh, Oooooooooh

Emily stopped to look at Paige. "Yes it is! Being away from you isn't." She said. "Just take me with you Paige. Please."

Paige stepped away from Emily and shook her head. "You've been through enough. I'm sorry I put you through hell these past few months."

"Then why are you doing this? Why are you leaving me?" Emily said, her voice betraying her pain. "If you're so sorry then don't leave. Please." She begged as tears fell from her eyes.

"What am I supposed to do here?" Paige asked miserably. "Emily we can't keep lying to ourselves. Don't tell me it doesn't hurt being around me because I can see it in your eyes. And I don't want to keep hurting you. Unintentional or not. I don't want the day to come when you and I wake up hating each other for making the other miserable. I need to find the people who did this because as long as they're out there I can't just let it go." Paige said in a voice that was full of hatred it startled Emily. This wasn't just about them. Paige wasn't telling her something.

"Then tell me why you're really leaving." Emily said resignedly. "Just tell me the truth. This isn't just about us. There's something you're not telling me."

When Paige didn't say anything, Emily decided to play a hunch. "I'm sorry your parents are dead because of me." Emily said quietly.

"This again." Paige said exasperatedly. "Emily how many times do I have to tell you? It wasn't your fault."

Emily looked at her and crossed her arms, trying to comfort herself. "Stop trying to make me feel better because you and I both know they wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for me." Emily said dejectedly. She just wished Paige would lash out at her, get things out in the open. "I'm just trying to understand why you won't let me come with you. Why you want to leave. Is it because you have to get away from me? Because looking at me reminds you of that night?"

"Emily there is no other reason. I'm not trying to get away from you. We all made our choices that night. I can't blame you because it was my fault not yours." Paige said quietly, like she was ashamed to admit it.

"Then let me come with you." Emily pleaded.

Paige knew Emily wasn't going to take no for an answer but she can't drag Emily into this. She won't allow Emily to become a monster like her. "Okay." She lied. "If you're sure about this then okay. You can come with me."

Paige's heart broke when she saw how those words made Emily happy. Knowing it would be the last time, Paige pulled Emily close to her, hugging her tightly, trying to breathe her in, memorizing the feel of her body against hers. "Thank you." She whispered in Emily's ear. "I'm sorry." She thought to herself.

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The night she and Emily were supposed to leave, Paige watched from the shadows as Emily drove up to her house and got out of the car when she saw her friends sitting on the curb leading to Paige's house. "What are you guys doing here?" She asked them.

"What Em no goodbye? You were just going to pack your bags and leave Rosewood with Paige without telling us?" Spencer asked indignantly as she stood up and brushed the back of her pants.

"I was going to say goodbye. I just had to pick up Paige first." Emily lied.

"Don't lie Em. Paige told us." Aria said gently. "What were you thinking? Why are you doing this?"

"I have to help her. If it wasn't for me none of this would've happened." Emily said. "I can't let her do this alone."

"You might not have a choice." Hanna said, handing her an envelope.

Paige watched as Emily reached out to take the letter she wrote, her name scrawled in front of the envelope in Paige's handwriting, and for a second thought that Emily was going to faint.

"I'm sorry Em. She's gone." Hanna said softly.

"You should start wearing dresses. It suits you." Emily's teasing voice behind her startled Paige and she looked at Emily.

"Nah. Not really my thing. Just felt like wearing one today." She said to her before looking out at the water again. After her visit at the cemetery, Paige found herself at the marina, standing on the same spot where Aria took that candid shot of her and Emily. She wanted to jog her memory of the events before the fire but she still came up blank, greatly frustrating her.

"What are you doing here?" Paige asked Emily as she moved to stand beside Paige, looking out at the water as well.

"I come here a lot actually. Since you left. I always come here before going home. I guess it just made me feel close to you somehow." Emily confessed.

They stood in silence before she spoke again. "I, uh, actually come here to do this." Emily leaned over to the other side of Paige to touch the post Paige was leaning against, accidentally brushing her arms against Paige's, making her heart beat wildly.

Emily was standing so close Paige could feel Emily's warm breath against her cheek and for a second she was tempted to face her and capture her lips against hers but instead she forced herself to look at where Emily was pointing. Paige watched as Emily took a worn-out key from her jeans pocket and carved another line on what seems to be some sort of scoring system. Four vertical lines and then the fifth line slashing diagonally across the four lines. Paige looked at it closely and noticed that there were several similar lines etched on the post. She looked at Emily curiously. "What are you doing?"

"The day you left I came here after I read your letter. I don't know what exactly made me think of doing it but I figured I would start counting the days until you came back to me." She looked at the water in front of them again. "As of today I have been waiting for 773 days for you to return to me." She said smiling wistfully.

Paige looked at Emily from the corner of her eye, feeling nothing but overwhelming love for the girl standing beside her. She doesn't deserve someone like Emily. Emily doesn't deserve to be with someone who won't even look at herself in the mirror and can't live with the consequences of her actions. She needed to be forgiven. By whom, she didn't know, but she wanted to earn that forgiveness if it meant Emily will be her salvation.

"I've been gone longer than that." Paige said to her, looking at the water as well. She could feel Emily's gaze on her. "The day my parents died was the day I disappeared." She admitted.

"Did you ever hate me?" Emily asked, her voice scared.

Paige looked at her in confusion. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Because after all this time you still never answered that question. You just kept telling me I shouldn't blame myself for what happened but I do. I blame myself Paige and I never forgave myself." Emily said, looking down at her feet. "When I realized you were missing and I ran into them I should have just told them they had nothing to worry about when they asked if you were with me. But they looked so worried and panicked I told them I was actually looking for you."

Something in Paige's mind clicked. She and Emily never talked about the events of that day, mostly because Paige refused to. This was the first time she was hearing about what happened while she was missing. "What do you mean my parents were looking for me? I thought you went to them for help?" She asked, her pulse racing.

Emily shook her head and looked at her. "No. I ran into them while I was looking for you and they asked if you were with me."

"So my parents knew I was missing. You didn't tell them." Paige held her breath, the significance of the answer to that statement unknown to Emily.

Emily nodded. "Yeah. But when they were about to leave I couldn't help myself. I was so worried about you so I asked if they could take me here because this was the only place I haven't looked yet and my car was in the shop that day." She started fidgeting with her hands. "If I didn't do that they wouldn't have been in that accident. But I was so impatient. I've always been so impatient when it comes to you."

Paige saw how upset Emily was becoming. It angered her that she and Emily have become victims of fate when she had believed so strongly that it was on their side. All these years she wasn't the only one who was suffering. It was time she ended Emily's. "Do you have other plans for today?" Paige asked, touching Emily's arm lightly.

Emily shook her head, "Why?"

"Do you still trust me?" Paige asked.

"Of course." Emily said, growing more curious.

"I want to take you somewhere." Paige said as she walked towards the parking lot, heading for Emily's car.