Peeta's POV
For the past few days I have sat in this position. The position of pain. The position of wishing to be dead, and her to be alive. The position of hell. I was in District 13, where they treated me in the hospital, but I fought them hard enough to let me be alone and cope by myself. I couldn't sleep, or eat, or even move. I was surprised that I wasn't dead because the pain in my heart felt strong enough to blow my body to bits. I couldn't believe I let her slip from my hands, she died in my hands…the hands that held her and loved her but weren't strong enough to save the girl I loved. She was my life and nothing could take her away from me until now and now I couldn't go on with my life, it felt impossible.
The doctors at the hospital here in District 13 have said I have gone mentally insane. I have blocked everyone out of my life and at times I have patches of rough screaming fits. It's nearly unbearable, but not as unbearable as loosing Katniss. That's when I feel my mind become tangled up, the thoughts disappear and I find myself punching the walls. I feel the howl seep through my throat and I fall back down. Back to the painful position.
I hear a swift knock at the door, and I pull my head up to see it's Haymitch and Finnick. Haymitch smiles down at me reassuringly and Finnick comes to my side. "Peeta, Katniss is alive," he says holding his hand on my back and saying the words loud and clearly through my ears. But it's as if those words are foreign. The words I never thought that I would hear in this lifetime and now I felt my body build up. It felt as though I was trapped in a dark, haunting tunnel, but I now discovered the light, the light to make it out alive.
I stood up calmly on my shaky legs, looking deep into Finnick's face, "She's alive…she's really alive?" In agreement, Finnick nodded his head proving what he said true, and making the most fulfilling words I have ever heard in my life ring throughout my mind. I took him into a hug, slapping his back and hollering her name in excitement. "Where is she? I have to see her," I ran to the door, but Haymitch grabbed me by my arm and threw me back on the ground without even trying. He turned on the small TV in my room which I had long forgotten about and faced me towards the screen.
It was another interview with Snow, his sick personality running its course through lies, lies that he spoke through gritted teeth while he spoke on about the rebellion. I almost hurled myself up at the screen in anger just at the sight of his face, and the sound of his voice. The slight pauses he made in between questions and answer and the horrible stench of blood I could even smell form here. But in an instant, there she was. Katniss. She was dirty and mangled, her hair cut down short and clothes ripped to chest. She held a knife which was clutched between her hands as she ripped her way through the floor. What scared me the most was her bloodshot eyes, which looked like she was crazy, but behind it all like she was horribly sick. She was stong and brave, full of courage which I knew would burst at any moment. "Hello, Panem it is me, Katniss Everdeen and would like to say I am alive, and obviously well," she nodded to herself as the crowd broke out in screams and gasps.
I just wished I could reach through the screen and take her in. I wished that I could take her from the scene and hold her deep in my arms making sure that no more harm would come to her, even though everyone knew it was only a dream. But I wanted to make it a reality. I wanted her to feel the best she could and not have to suffer at such a young age. But I could only stop so much, which weighed me down like a thousand tons crushing down on my shoulders.
That's when I went cold. I felt my hand rush to the screen and hold her close to my heart. Her knees buckled, making a horrible cracking noise as she fell to the ground. She had been tortured. They would try to break her with the pain, but we all knew Katniss could never crack under anything. In fact, she didn't even have an idea about the plan to get the victors out from the arena. We had no idea, so the Capitol would keep pushing her and pushing her without any information. Her face slammed agains the gound and you could hear her mumble through her tightly gritted teeth, "Peeta, wherever you are take care of my family. Please. And wherever you are, I love you and I am sorry."
Sorry? She was sorry? I screamed, falling down to the ground while I slammed my fists hard against the ground. That was my breaking point. She couldn't suffer so much and believe that this was her fault when really it was mine. It was me who let her die, who made me go with her down the hill, but why? Simple, because I couldn't leave her side, not in any situation, and now she was gone. I took a deep breath, pulling myself together, she's alive, she's alive, and I reminded myself she's here in District 12.
"I need to see her now," I huffed, pushing past Haymitch and Finnick.
"Wherever you look, she's not there, Peeta." Haymitch sighed through his teeth. Taken aback, I stepped back into the doorway, grasping the walls.
"Where is she then?"
"The Capitol."
"THE CAPITOL? WHY THE HELL IS SHE IN THE CAPITOL, SHE IS BEING TORTURED; SHE MIGHT EVEN DIE WE NEED TO GET TO HER NOW HAYMITCH, NOW!"
"Peeta, boy we understand that and we are sending out flights today, that's why we came here. We were told by the doctors that you weren't stable enough to handle this, and I guess they weren't lying, eh, Finnick?" Haymitch snorted, leaving the room. I ran outside, following him and trying to pull myself together. I began jumping in front of him frantically.
"No, I can handle it, please Haymitch I swear I can! She's my world, and I need to save her, please!" I begged, until he finally cracked.
"Damn, just come on then. We've got a long day ahead of us."
Katniss POV
I couldn't breathe, I tried to hold myself conscious but now it seemed nearly impossible. My eyes shot open, highly crazed and burning in pain. I screamed, and screamed yet they let me stay. I was losing my soul until I finally felt them rip back my hair pulling my head out of the water. I huffed in harder than anyone has ever before, trying to fill my lungs up with air, but they were so empty it took me multiple deep breaths for my lungs to finally feel fulfilled. My squeaky voice shrieked in pain, while men cut links in my shoulders and arms. The gashes filled with deep red blood which dripped on the crusty cement floor. The men ran the side of their blade through my blood, sticking it in my mouth making me taste my own life. And with that, they added more openings in the inside of my mouth almost choking me in the red blood which I coughed up onto the floor.
I wept while no tears fell as the guards kept breaking me in ways I didn't even know existed. I screamed in horror begging them to stop, but they just kept it going and with that made it worse. I felt them pull on my handcuffs and drag me on the cement to a bathtub. They striped me of all my clothes, and threw me into the water.
It was a cold sensation which took over my body, sending refreshing chills down my spine and for a second I felt relieved. Then the flames lit up. What I was in was not water, but acid. The liquid hissed at my skin, eating it up and spitting it out, filling me with a pain I have not yet experienced before. The acid dug into my flesh and veins, I felt the stuff course through my bloodstream and slip into my bones, numbing my body in gasoline and salt, ice and fire which crushed my insides. I howled, trying to leap from the tub, but the men held me down with all their might, making it last longer. They kept my head above it all, probably so I could watch myself dissolve into nothing. But they wouldn't kill me would they? Most likely not, probably trying to keep me to use against the ones that matter the most.
I watched in desperation, as my body curled up, shriveling against the acid while the skin came off of my body. The hair that was I the water came off with no resistance and I felt myself drifting away. I wish I could just die, die against this pain and never have to face it again.
With that thought, they thankfully pulled me from the acid, holding towels to the parts that they carried so they wouldn't burn themselves. They brought my naked, lifeless body to a metal table, setting me down on the rocky marble. I was still curled up, elbows on my knees, lying down in an uncomfortable scrunched up position. My eyes fluttered under the low light to an image of Peeta on a screen up ahead. I wanted to scream his name, to have him hear his name grow from my own voice but that was impossible, I couldn't move a single inch and I felt as though I was detached from my very own body.
The picture of Peeta popped up again, then a video which made my brain hit hard against my skull, The 74th Hunger Games. It showed every moment of every point of view from Glimmer to Thresh, showing every child's death in a slow matter, taking the grueling moments and wrapping them deep in your mind. I tried as hard as I could, to pull my eyes shut, hide from the pain but there was something forcing them open and I wasn't even able to blink. So I watched it all, the terror reaching every aspect of my mind and body making sure to terrify it forever, as though someone were doing this in a manner that was able to keep all the memories in.
When it was all over, every piece dodged into me, a familiar figure made its way up to me. Snow. He stood by the table, his face in the mold of someone who shows mercy and pity. He chuckled, the only noise throughout the whole cellar. "Oh, poor Miss Everdeen," he sighed, wrapping his fingers under my cheeks which sent horrible tremors through me. "What are we going to do with you, you poor, poor darling?" His voice made me sick but still, I was unable to move against his clutches. My body just wouldn't respond to me.
"See, Katniss, this is why you don't mess with the Capitol. Because look at you, all shriveled up and freezing to death. You're as attractive as a dying cow…Now Peeta wouldn't want you looking like this now would he? See, no one actually loves you my dear, because what is there to love? You're horribly ugly, your cruel and nasty, and wait; it was all just a game wasn't it? Remember that, Peeta loved you, awe, but now, not so much. Your mother, she never cared, and Prim, oh sweet little Prim how do you think she felt all those years with such an utterly disgusting sister? Hmm? Gale, yeah he couldn't care less after you destroyed his heart. And now answer me Katniss, why aren't they here to save you?" He looked to me, with his clinging snake eyes taking me in, waiting for an answer, but I couldn't possibly speak. In one swift movement he raised his hand, slashing my face like a whip, beating all the blood out of it with just his bare hands. "ANSWER ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
I groaned, screaming out my answer which took all my might and power. "Maybe if you looked more attractive, more people wouldn't barf at just seeing you Miss Everdeen, so why don't we perk you up?" Snow's voice grew angrier with more force, snapping at men who rushed to my side. They peeled me from my uncomfortable position, then brought out sharp utensils. "Why don't we get a video of this makeover just for your sweetheart who doesn't even love you, say hi to your beloved Peeta." Snow pointed a small camera at me, taking everything into view.
The last that I remembered was the sharp pain around my stomach and chest until I completely blacked out.