Mnemonic

Disclaimer: This idea has utterly PLAGUED me from the start of Barricade being announced in the Prime game. The game hasn't been released as of yet, but dammit, I can't wait. So let's keep this fic at an AU status, just to be safe. Hell, crack pairings are definition of AU. LOL. Anyway, there may be some little naughty bits in here, but we'll see where that goes. This is based off of his design and since I really hated how they disposed of some of the cast, it'll take place between season one and two.

"The heart that truly loves never forgets."

-Unknown Proverb

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."

-Kevin Arnold

By: VampireQueenAkasha

"So much for closure."

-Arcee, Transformers Prime

Opening Old Wounds

The Nemesis passed silently over the summit where Barricade had fallen. Megatron was overseeing the Eradicons as they dug their way around, looking for signs of the fallen mech. Knock Out couldn't help but question Megatron's sudden insistent motive for having the need to find him so badly. He expected to be struck for his presumptuous question, but Megatron actually answered it without such a reaction.

"Barricade was carrying vital Decepticon information on his arrival here, Knock Out," Megatron explained, "An intelligence roster of every living Decepticon in the universe. If I could contact them, I can bring forth an army capable of crushing the Autobots."

Knock Out blinked, surprised. "I see."

Then, Airachnid made her way up to them. "Lord Megatron," she said, "I've pinpointed Cybertronian footsteps. The tracks are still quite fresh."

"And where do they lead?" Megatron asked.

"South of our current position."

Megatron smiled. "Excellent."

Airachnid was pleased; after all, who better to track down anyone than herself? She was a master of her craft. Behind her, Breakdown had caught the sight of Megatron's approval to her and uttered a disgusted snort.

"Suck up," he snapped.

Airachnid flashed a smirk as she sauntered off. "Jealous, muscles?"

"No!" Breakdown yelled after her.

Megatron paid no mind to the banter. He turned to Knock Out. "Bring everyone back to the ship," he ordered, "We're moving on."

"Of course, Lord Megatron."

Meanwhile, Barricade was studying the television screen as Miko flicked through channels, giving him a bit of information about each and every commercial, show and advertisement that came on. He seemed genuinely interested, so he listened intently to everything she said. Optimus was the only Autobot not present as he had taken a drive.

"This is called a concert," Miko told him, flicking to a band playing on the screen, "Don't be fooled; not all concerts are good. Sometimes they like to trick you with location too!"

Barricade frowned thoughtfully. "So what kind of music do they play?"

"All kinds!" Miko said, smiling, "I'm a rock fan myself."

Barricade smiled. "There is so much more to the human world than I thought," he murmured, "It's quite fascinating." He paused and watched Raf who sat at the console, typing on his computer. "So the young human is Raf, the tall skinny one is Jack and you are Miko. And the plump, hairy creature who comes here is Fowler? Is he like a pet of yours?"

Miko snickered loudly and even Raf couldn't stop the laughter that spewed forth. Arcee actually couldn't resist her smile.

"Close enough," Miko told him, after laughing a bit.

Bulkhead watched the scene with disgust. He didn't seem thrilled with the fact that there was a Decepticon here to begin with, regardless of the fact that he had lost his memory. He shook his head and took a step forward.

"Am I the only one who thinks this is insane?" he demanded.

They all looked up at him. Ratchet had his head buried in a microscope, but spoke without looking up.

"Bulkhead..." he warned.

Barricade looked up at him, mildly alarmed. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You know what I fragging mean!" Bulkhead snapped, glaring down at him, "Just because you can't remember anything; that doesn't mean the rest of us don't! I've seen what kind of bot you are in the field! You single-handedly took out one of my closest Wrecker comrades! He was wounded and you pulled him apart for fun!"

Barricade's optics widened and needless to say, the others were stunned as well.

"Bulkhead, that's enough," Arcee ordered.

"I-I don't remember doing-" Barricade began.

"I know you don't!" Bulkhead was almost shouting and it started frightening Miko a bit, "But I saw you! Let's not forget the Autobot sparklings you've killed! Yeah, we have archived reports that can back it up!"

Barricade looked so confused and mildly upset. "I killed little ones?"

Arcee stood up and gestured for him to go. "Barricade, why don't you go find some Energon?" she suggested, "I'll have a word with Bulkhead about this."

Barricade nodded, though he looked like someone had punched him in the stomach several times for no reason. He walked away and as soon as he was out of audio shot, Arcee glared up at Bulkhead with annoyance. He shrugged his shoulders calmly.

"What? I'm just being honest!" he insisted.

"What did Optimus just tell us this morning?" she demanded, "Did you think your little tirade was helping? We all know what he's done! But how does that change anything when he doesn't even remember?"

"And I guess you so easily forgave what happened with Tailgate?"

Arcee froze and a cold chill filled the air. Ratchet looked up with shock on his face. She took a moment to stare at the green Autobot in confusion before her optics narrowed. She struggled to calm the ice filling her Energon lines at the mention of her deceased lover before glaring up at Bulkhead.

"What do you mean?" she said, "Airachnid killed him."

Bulkhead looked mildly surprised before shaking his head. His anger cooled a bit. "When I was running with the Wreckers, we picked up a Decepticon transmission. Barricade had given the location of Tailgate's position and ordered that you be spared. Airachnid wasn't making any promises, but you know how she is. That was when I contacted Cliffjumper to get to you first. I was out of range and wouldn't have made it in time."

"And you didn't tell me this?"

"We thought he was dead. We didn't think it would matter."

The silence in the room that followed was unbearable. Jack looked up and noticed Arcee's horrified, wounded look. She appeared to be in such shock, she wasn't moving. Her hands clenched into fists and shook at her sides.

"Arcee?" Jack said, cautiously.

Miko rose and cleared her throat. "Wow, did it just get extra awkward in here?"

O

Arcee stormed into her room and frantically paced around. She was a raging storm of anger and pain and could not believe what she had learned. Airachnid may have been the one who murdered Tailgate, but it was because of Barricade that she had been placed in the situation to begin with. That was what he meant when he asked how Tailgate was. He was simply mocking her and knew exactly what he had done.

"Son of a glitch!" she whispered, her voice shaking with rage.

Arcee couldn't stop herself from punching her wall, over and over again. Pain shot up her arm, but she had to vent out her anger and she had to do it NOW. She continue punching, grunting with effort until her knuckle joints began to bleed Energon. Arcee barely noticed the pain and slid to her knees, moaning with raw anguish. She was so angry, she couldn't see straight and before she realized what happened, she fell asleep in recharge, lying on the floor of her room.

Even in sleep, Arcee could not control the direction her mind went.

Arcee rode recklessly down the Iacon streets, narrowly missing several Cybertronians in her path. They yelled furiously after her, but she didn't care. She was late as it was and had no time to stop and apologize. But the sounds of sirens behind her left her with little choice.

"Scrap..." Arcee muttered.

Barricade was in pursuit of her and she eventually stopped, transforming and glaring at him as he transformed as well. His lips curled with dismay and he shook his head. Arcee put her hands on her hips and waited expectantly.

"Why is it every time I find trouble, you're the one I run in to?" Barricade asked.

The two stared each other down for a long time and then started laughing as Arcee's face broke out into a smile.

"I'm late, Barricade," she said, "I have an intelligence report to deliver to Alpha Trion." Her voice grew slightly teasing. "But then again, you always managed to make sure that I am, don't you?"

Barricade let out a deep chuckle. "Perhaps."

"And how would you like me to pay for this speeding violation?"

"Tonight, we can discuss it thoroughly."

Arcee smirked at him. "I look forward to it."

The dream shifted a bit to Arcee discussing her relationship with Jazz and Chromia.

"He's too old for you, Arcee," Chromia insisted.

Jazz seemed to be all for the relationship. He just laughed and shook his head, flashing her a thumbs up. "Hey, I saw go for it, 'cee," he told her, "If that grumpy bucket of bolts is into you and you're into him, it's all the better."

Arcee gave them both a sarcastic smile. "Thanks. I'm glad I have my parent's permission."

"I'm just saying," Chromia protested, "A bot like him... He's just bad news, I think."

Chromia had no idea just how right she had been.

When Arcee awoke from her dream world, her hand was in excruciating agony. Groaning with dismay and pain, she stood up and walked out of her room to find Ratchet. He was annoyed and surprised by the damages.

"Arcee, what did you do?" he snapped.

"I punched my wall," Arcee shot back, "Just fix it."

Ratchet rolled his optics. "I don't have time to fix battle damages and self-inflictions, Arcee. Whatever your problem is, you should be talking it over instead."

"Stop acting like my father and just fix my hand."

Ratchet sighed impatiently and began to work on repairing the crushed joint knuckles. It didn't take long to fix and there was little damage that would require anything serious. Once the repairs were made, Barricade stepped inside, completely unaware of what had happened.

"Did you know that-" he began.

Arcee took one look at him and punched him in the mouth. Barricade staggered back, gripping his jaw with one hand. He blinked rapidly and grimaced with pain before he stared down at his hand where a puddle of blue had formed. He looked up at Arcee with confusion and shock, Energon trickling from his lower lip.

"W-What did you do that for?" he asked.

Arcee glared at him before stalking off.

O

After taking Jack to school the next day, Arcee was glad when she didn't feel as angry as she had before. Of course, she wanted to do nothing but destroy Barricade for what he had done, she was torn because he didn't even remember a thing. So doing something like that would only put her in the wrong and Tailgate would still be dead. Now that she knew who was responsible for his death, it did take a greater burden off of her shoulders, but she still felt hollow and angry, if only just a little.

When she returned to base, Barricade was waiting for her. He was alone, which surprised the Autobot.

"Barricade," she said, transforming, "What are you doing? I thought I told Ratchet to keep watch over you while I took Jack to school."

Barricade looked at her sadly. "Did I really do all those terrible things your friend said I did?"

Arcee wavered a bit at the question before she sighed and nodded. "Yeah. You can even check the archives if you don't believe us."

Barricade took a deep intake of air before he closed his optics. "Then your pain is my fault," he said, "I have brought on your suffering, and the suffering of many others..." He sighed and shook his head with self-loathing. "I deserve this punishment. I deserve to be alone for what I have done."

Arcee rolled her optics before taking a spot beside him. "What you did was inexcusable, Barricade," she told him, "But you can't remember anything, so it doesn't make a difference if you're repentant or not. You can't feel shame for something you don't remember doing."

"But I do," he argued, looking down at her-and he really appeared to be, "I do because they happened regardless of my memory loss."

Arcee sighed once more.

They were silent for a while.

"Sorry about your face," she finally said, "I guess I need to work on my emotions."

Barricade smiled slightly. "Maybe I had it coming..."

Arcee actually laughed a little. She should have felt bad for doing so, but she couldn't help it. Talking like this did ease the tension between them a bit. She never knew or foresaw herself talking like this with a 'con, regardless of the past they once shared.

"Arcee..."

She looked up at him and he gave her a look that was intense and true. "I am truly sorry for Tailgate," he said, "And for everything else I've done to wrong you."

Arcee's humor faded and she felt her spark tighten again.

Primus, don't make this hard for me, please...

"Well, I guess I should be sorry too," she replied.

"For what?"

"For everything."

He nodded an affirmative before they sat in silence.

It felt nice for a change.