Neither of them spoke for several minutes. Hitsugaya sat down beside her, waiting for her to say something.
"What happened to you, Toushiro-kun?" she asked when she finally found her voice.
"I asked you first," Hitsugaya teased. He hadn't teased anyone in a long time. It felt strange.
"What do you mean?" she inquired innocently. Hitsugaya couldn't tell if she was joking or not.
"Look at you!" he said incredulously. "You're nothing like how I remember you. You used to laugh all the time. You were brave and forceful. And you weren't afraid of your hair," he added pointedly.
"Well, you're one to talk!" she said angrily, and Hitsugaya was pleased to see a brief spark of her old self flash in her eyes. Unfortunately, it was gone in an instant. "You used to be nice. You used to stand up for people who were in pain, not push them down. And I hear you don't smile anymore either. You're nothing like the Toushiro-kun I remember." Hitsugaya couldn't deny that.
"I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours," he said finally. "Why do you look like the whole world abandoned you? Why do you look so helpless? I didn't even recognize you because your eyes were so sad and pathetic." He looked at her with longing. Sakura's face fell. She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them tightly, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. Hitsugaya wanted to comfort her like he used to, but he was so out of practice he didn't quite remember how.
"What's wrong Sakura-chan?" he asked gently. And then, without warning, she was hugging him. Hitsugaya was momentarily stunned. He didn't exactly know how to react to this. Sakura sobbed into his shoulder, soaking his haori. Hitsugaya patted her awkwardly on the back.
"I'm so sorry, Toushiro-kun. I…I…I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am…" Her voice broke again as she cried even harder.
"What are you so sorry for?" Hitsugaya asked in what he hoped was a comforting manner. "What on earth did you do that was so bad?" Sakura pulled away from him and stared at him in shock. Her utter disbelief at his words made her forget about her tears.
"What the heck do you mean? I killed you!" If Hitsugaya could remember how to laugh, he would have. As it was, the best he could do was twist his lips into some semblance of a smirk.
"What are you talking about?" he asked amused. "I fell out of that tree all by myself. I didn't have to jump you know."
"Yes, but I challenged you. You can't refuse a challenge, I knew you would do it even though it wasn't safe. And then you…" she trailed off, unable to finish.
"Don't tell me you've blamed yourself for my death all these years?" Hitsugaya asked concernedly. He felt horrible that she had had to suffer like that. He had never once blamed her for what happened. He hadn't even considered it. People in Soul Society don't usually dwell on their deaths, and besides, it hadn't been her fault.
Sakura didn't respond, but her eyes told Hitsugaya all he needed to know. And despite himself, he hugged her. Sure, he had hugged her before, but that had been a long time ago, when they were children. He couldn't remember hugging anyone of his own free will since coming to Soul Society, even Hinamori, but for some reason, right then, he knew it was the right thing to do.
"I don't blame you for my death and I never did," he said with conviction. "Please don't punish yourself anymore."
Sakura clung to him tightly and began crying again. Hitsugaya didn't say anything. He just rocked her back and forth. Finally, when her tears were dry, she began her story.
"When you fell out of that tree, I didn't know what to do. You didn't have a pulse and I was so scared. I screamed for help and finally someone found me and called an ambulance. They wouldn't let me go with them because I wasn't family, so I ran to your house to tell your parents that you had fallen out of a tree and was at the hospital. I didn't tell them I thought you were dead, I just couldn't bring myself to say it. They brought me to the hospital with them. When we got there, the doctors still said they could only give information to family members, so your mom told them I was your sister. When they told us you were dead, I nearly fainted. Your parents broke down, but they hadn't been there, hadn't seen you fall, hadn't been the cause of your death…
"Anyway, I couldn't go to school for about a month. I was too depressed. I cried myself to sleep every night. I just couldn't get over the fact that you were gone, and that I had killed you. Eventually, my mom thought that going to school would be good for me, so she forced me to go back. Boy, was she wrong. The teachers were nice enough to me, they knew how close we had been, but no one else seemed to care that you were gone. They just took the opportunity to torture me about my hair. Now that you weren't there, I had no one to protect me and no one to share in my pain. I tried to stand up for myself like you always did, and I tried to ignore them, but you remember what they were like, and it was just too hard on my own. I was so lonely and I missed you so much.
"Then, one day, on my way home from school, several bullies cornered me. They laughed at my hair and threw mud at me, you know, the usual. I was used to this at that point and tried to just ignore them. But for some reason, they were particularly vindictive that day. As I tried to run, one of them grabbed my braid and yanked me to the ground. Then another took out a scissors and cut all my hair off.
"That was the day I decided never to show my hair in public again. After that, I always wore a scarf, even when I was alone. I refused to go to school for a while. Apparently, the kids who attacked me were suspended, but that didn't really comfort me so much.
"My parents were really worried about me, especially since I refused to go to school, so they tramped me from one psychologist to another, trying to figure out some way to 'cure' whatever problem I supposedly had. I think those stupid doctors only made everything worse, since I had to constantly discuss all my fears, like the bullies and my guilt at your death.
"Then I died. It was quite stupid really. It was almost two years after you had died and we got in a car accident. I don't even know if my parents survived or not. I ended up in 76th district in Rukongai, and you can imagine what that was like. Well, after what had happened while I was alive, I certainly wasn't going to show anyone there my hair, so I kept it hidden. I managed to tough it out on my own for a while, but life there wasn't easy and I narrowly escaped death more times than I can count.
"I never even thought about becoming a shinigami. People from 76th district just didn't do that kind of thing. But I had this one friend, her name's Midori-san, who started to show signs of major spirit power, and she decided to enroll in the Shinigami Academy. We were all really proud of her. She came back to visit, right after her graduation, and told us that she had been assigned to squad 10th under Hitsugaya Toushiro taicho. Well, you can imagine my surprise at hearing your name again after so long. And you were a taicho! I was so proud of you. It was then that I decided that if you could be a shinigami, I could too. That I should risk my life to protect people as penance for what I had done to you. But my reiatsu was really low at that time. It was another five years or so before I felt like I had enough reiatsu to be considered for the Shinigami Academy. I went there and they accepted me. And well, here I am."
Sakura finished her story and gave Hitsugaya a very weak smile. Her face was still red from crying, but she had calmed down as she spoke. Hitsugaya was heartbroken. She had been such a bright, happy, sweet girl. She didn't deserve the hard life she had had. No wonder her eyes were so forlorn.
"So, now that I've told you my story, you promised you'd tell me yours," Sakura reminded him. "What happened to you that you're so cold?"
"I grew up," Hitsugaya said, and Sakura chuckled ever so slightly.
"That's not a story!" she said playfully, pushing him gently. "And you don't look very grown up to me!"
"Oi, watch how you treat me!" he said warningly. "After all, I'm your taicho now!" Sakura looked at him mischievously. Then, without warning, she lunged at him and started tickling him furiously. Hitsugaya was so startled, he didn't even try to push her off. And, despite himself, he laughed. It sounded strange to him, he hadn't laughed in a very long time, but he just couldn't help it. Sakura laughed too, and before he could struggle, she had released him. He looked at her curiously.
"You stopped on your own. You never used to do that. You always made me promise something first," he said, remembering how often she had used his unfortunate ticklishness to her advantage.
"Oh please," she said, rolling her eyes. "That won't work anymore, you're way too strong now. And besides, you did what I wanted you to do."
"What's that?" he asked.
"You laughed," she said seriously. She tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't, and she covered her mouth with her hand, trying to suppress her giggles.
"You sound out of practice," she reprimanded. "I'll just have to make you laugh more often then, until you're used to it again," she added vindictively. Hitsugaya wanted to hate that thought, but just then, the only thing running through his head was how wonderful she looked when her eyes sparkled. This was Sakura as he remembered her; eyes lit up in hope and laughter, not depression and despair.
"It's good to have you back, Sakura-chan," he said warmly, the smallest hint of a smile appearing on his lips.
"You too, Toushiro-kun," she replied happily.
"That's Hitsugaya taicho," he reminded her in the same tone that he always used on Hinamori. Sakura chuckled. Then she peered at him slyly.
"There's one thing I forgot to tell you," she said. Then she tapped him on the arm.
"Tag, you're it!" And with that she ran away. Hitsugaya pondered this for a moment. Part of him couldn't believe he was even considering doing something so childish, but the other part knew he would hate himself forever if he didn't comply. Besides, he never could refuse a challenge. Decision made, he rose from his seat and ran after her.
Come to think of it, he realized as she came into view ahead of him, tag is a much more fun game when you can use shunpo.
Things should get happier from here on out-or at least more exciting!