G. A. A. R. A.
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Summary: After seeing Naruto again, Gaara is left with some puzzling thoughts and makes a trip to see the Genin from Konoha.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these lovely angsty characters.
Pairing: NarutoxGaara
Warning: MalexMale relationships and possible language.
A/N: Oooo Gaara we love you even if you have trust issues. This chappy will probably be shorter than most of the other ones I've done and the next one might be as well. I dunno, I say this every chapter and they end up longer than the last. ;.; I'm inspired right now because I just watched Naruto Shippuden 31 and they made them look so pretty!! I was excited 0 Well I hope you enjoy and thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! I shall have you know that when I have no initiative to finish writing this fic I just read the reviews you guys send me over and over and over and I feel more inspired and continue to write. Lol so keep them coming!! I really really love to know what you guys think of my fics! Thanks again!!
000
The sun was bright and it beamed through the window into the eyes of the sleeping boys, one by one. There were moans and groans as it attacked their faces and shoved them awake. The sound of sheets and pillows followed as they were pulled over everyone's heads.
Gaara watched silently at everyone and wondered what could be so good that they must continue to sleep? Was sleep just a necessity? Or was it something that was desired? Though he ruled out the "just a necessity," when Lee sat straight up and jumped out of his blankets, stretching and jogging in place.
"It's another beautiful day to spread the joys of our youth!" he exclaimed cheerily and Gaara sat up and gave the fuzzy browed boy a strange look, perhaps because the bouncing boy did strike him in fact, odd. A commendable ninja… but odd.
"Osu!" Lee gave another shout of excitement for the new day. "Ah! Gaara-kun! Do you want to go do some morning exercises?" The fuzzy browed boy looked over at the rising red head who replied by shaking his head in a "no."
Gaara was not one who cared for physical activity. He was most definitely not out of shape and was not particularly good with hand-to-hand combat so the need for physical activity diminished as his list went on. This led him to believe that activity was unnecessary unless he was becoming a hindrance to himself. Training, however, was a different story.
"Nnnnnaaaaah… Would you two keep it down? I'm trying to sleep…" the two turned their heads to the blonde who was mumbling underneath his blankets. Gaara frowned lightly for being scolded by the blonde when he hadn't even opened his mouth. There was a sigh from a few lumps over.
"Just give it up Naruto…" Shikamaru's voice sounded from underneath his pillow. "This is too troublesome…" he stated, tossing his blankets off and sitting up, leaning back on his elbows. There had to be another word for the Chuunin's face… Normally it is classified as a "lazy look," but his just woken up face was beyond that. Gaara wasn't sure it was possible for the dark haired ninja to look any lazier than he already was.
Naruto groaned in response, accepting the fact that Shikamaru was probably right and it would just be best to get up. He pulled his face out from underneath the blankets and hugged his pillow, opening his blue, bloodshot eyes. It was very apparent that he didn't sleep well that night.
Naruto looked to the side of him and notice that Gaara was still looking at him and he shifted a little under the stare. How long could he hold that look for on one person?
The blonde wearily sat up, his obscene nightcap falling off the back of his head in the process. Shikamaru let out a loud yawn as Lee changed into his clothes. Naruto groaned, looking extraordinarily sleepy and unmotivated.
Gaara stood and quietly gathered his clothes and headed off to the bathroom to change. Though the boys had seen him in nothing but a towel, he preferred that his body not be a portrait for everyone to judge.
"Oi, Gaara. Did you spend the whole night laying on the floor?" Shikamaru suddenly felt the urge to ask. He remembered Gaara being under the blankets when he fell asleep and the insomniac was still in bed. He had figured the red head might have gotten up and done something during the night and it somewhat intrigued him as to what Gaara would do.
"Yeah, he did." A groan came from beside Shikamaru and he looked skeptically over at Naruto. Gaara ignored the question and closed the bathroom door behind him with a soft click.
"How do you know that?" The Chuunin questioned the blonde.
"Trust me, I know." Naruto looked as if he were on the verge of falling asleep.
Squueaaaaaaaaaraeeeeeeeel…The odd noise came from across the room and the blond and Chuunin directed their gaze at their fuzzy browed counterpart who was already dressed and clutching his stomach.
"Ano… Naruto-kun? Do you have anything for breakfast?" Lee asked, smiling sheepishly at his body's decision.
Suddenly a pair of eyes snapped wide open at the mention of a crucial word and the last lump of blankets to rise immediately sat up, startling everyone in the room. All eyes were drawn to the larger boy positioned in a battle ready stance on the floor.
"Chouji?" Naruto looked at the boy strangely. What had provoked him into moving so suddenly?
"Did somebody say…. Breakfast," the rosy-cheeked boy's eyes were intense.
Shikamaru gave Chouji "you're troublesome," look while Naruto heaved a sigh. Of course that's what the boy would want. The only thing that was ever on Chouji's mind was food. Naruto caught this last thought and rebuked it. No, one of Chouji's favorite things in the world was food, but he knew the larger boy cherished his companions more than consumption and he inwardly smiled at the thought.
"I have ramen," Naruto mumbled out, too tired to really get up and look. He knew for certain he had ramen. Though… after last night's search for food other than "the best kind of food in the world," he was fairly positive he didn't have anything else at the moment.
"You eat ramen in the morning, Naruto-kun?" Lee pouted slightly in his perplexed state, not entirely up for ramen in the morning. Gaara opened the bathroom door and stepped out quietly and unnoticed, demonstrating his obvious life as a ninja. Even in the comfort of a home, outside missions, his footsteps remained quiet.
"Then let's go out for breakfast," Shikamaru stated, putting a hand to his face and running it back over his hair. He had neglected to take out the ponytail and it caused the other boys to briefly wonder if he ever took it out.
"Good idea Shikamaru-kun," Lee smiled in agreement. Gaara walked silently and still unnoticed over to his bag and placed his belongings into the little pouch, now fully dressed in his normal attire. Though the pouch was now a little more full than when he had first come to the blonde's apartment due to an extra set of special clothes bestowed to him.
"Buffet!" Chouji roared out with an intensity that rivaled that of Lee's. Shikamaru plugged his ears, not particularly enthusiastic about moving or waking up for that matter and his best friend's loud declarations were not pleasing to the ear.
Naruto sighed and looked longingly over to where he had tossed his orange jumpsuit in the corner of the room; the little empty frog pouch falling out of it carelessly. There was no way he could pay for anything. All he had left were his savings and he wasn't about to give that up for a breakfast that he knew would cost him a great amount. It was things like this that made him wonder why people just didn't eat ramen all the time? It was cost efficient, tasty, and easy to transport.
"I don't think I can pay for that. I used up all of my money at the hot springs," he smiled sheepishly. It was plainly visible on all of their faces the disappointment and suddenly Naruto felt a little insignificant. This was his first time inviting friends over his place and he knew he was supposed to play host. He supposed he should have thought this through a little bit more and provided substance that everyone would enjoy. He looked at the floor with a slight pout, mimicking everyone's faces. He just hoped that Gaara didn't mind his lack of preparation. This really was for him to get to know people and the blonde felt that if the others weren't enjoying their time, Gaara might not either.
"Geez… so troublesome," Shikamaru leaned back on his elbows again, almost tempted to just go back to sleep. It's not that he blamed Naruto, and he was sure the others didn't either. It was just bothersome to not eat in the morning.
Gaara observed the sudden crestfallen looks on each of the boys' faces and his gaze lingered on Naruto's. He was not one to understand emotions for he barely understood his own. However, it was quite obvious that Naruto was upset, maybe not greatly, but something about what had just happened, bothered him. This blonde… he had done so much for Gaara. He had given him a hope that he never dreamed of ever achieving. And even just a little, he felt obligated- no- obliged, to help him.
"I can pay," Gaara felt the words slip from his mouth and he watched as all eyes turned on him. He could feel himself blink as the sudden shift of attention fell from the floor onto himself. He was used to being stared at by people, stared at with fear… Though, this was greatly different. All of them were… smiling. Frankly, this made him nervous, almost as if he were going to be plotted against. Uncomfortable…
Lee started to laugh. Chouji sat back and watched with a content look upon his face. Shikamaru stood up, making his way over to the obviously confused redhead. Gaara turned his green eyes to the lazy eyed boy making his way over to him. He still wasn't sure what he name was, but he believed it began with an "s." Due to his current conclusions of the looks directed at him, Gaara narrowed his eyes slightly in a defensive manner, though this did not seem to bother the lazy eyed Chuunin. Instead, he progressed and moved until he was directly next to Gaara and slung an arm around his shoulders, laughing all the while.
"Gaara-kun's treat!" Lee shouted out.
"You're a good guy, Gaara," Shikamaru laughed out a bit and patted the shoulder of the redhead who was shying away from the touch. His eyes still narrowed at the owner of the arm. Did he not realize who he was touching? Gaara seemed to be having mixed feeling about the act of touch. It was a pleasant feeling and something he desired, the feeling of forgiving touch. But at the same time, it was something he was unaccustomed too and therefore would prefer that it was not forced upon him. It took all of his effort to not growl, though he did grit his teeth tightly.
Something however, attracted his mint gaze from the annoyance thrown over him to a silent soft gaze that made his breath hitch. Those azure gems gleamed at him with something he never thought could be directed a person like him, a monster of destruction and pain. Naruto's smile held happiness, but not for himself. The happiness, Gaara could tell, was for the redhead. Naruto was… happy for him?
Gaara could feel his body tense and he closed his eyes. That idiot. Just by one gesture, the blonde has given him so many opportunities for redemption, to start over… He would not pass them up.
Gaara straightened his back and allowed the fuss to continue on in the room until everyone was dressed and all bags and belongings were with their proper owners. And they headed out.
112
This was a feast to remember. Since Gaara was treating, the group had decided to dine at the best breakfast place in Konoha, receiving many odd stares as the young ones trotted in and waited to be seated. They gained even more attention at their loud outbursts and the more than generous amounts of food that had piled up at their table.
Naruto and Chouji had declared an eating contest, Chouji coming out on top, leaving a nauseas Naruto in second place. Lee seemed very torn between the competition occurring at his side and eating his own food. Of course he would love to eat, but such displays of youth were hard to pass up. Shikamaru ate as if it were a chore, so he didn't eat a whole lot and toyed with the food.
Gaara seemed to stand out from the rest of the group seeing as he ate only one plate, remained quiet, and ate in a sophisticated manner; back straight with a fork and knife. He savored his food and ate fairly slowly. It was when he was finished did he spare glances at his companions and then the obscene amounts of food that remained on the table. It was quite disgusting as far as Gaara was concerned. Naruto's ability to pile drive food into his mouth wasn't one of the blonde's features that he cared for.
It had been Shikamaru though who had let out a yawn after the completion of his meal and suggested that they part ways. All members of the previous night gathered their belongings as the redhead sifted through his pouch and pulled out a sufficient amount of money that would pay for their order as well as a generous tip for the poor waitress. The owner of the store thanked him as a well paying customer on their way out.
It was when they arrived on the street that Gaara realized, this is where they would part. The five boys stopped on the street and faced each other in a circle. He hadn't realized it before. He didn't want to leave. This was the most interaction he has had with someone without being forced or killing them. There were people here who didn't fear him and dare he assume view him as a friend or at the very least a pleasant acquaintance.
"Well, I have to head back home and figure out how I'm going to go about this bothersome mission Godaime gave me… She's such a pain," Shikamaru started what would be their last conversation for a while. He scratched at the back of his head, closing his eyes. They all nodded in response. What for, they weren't sure.
"I need to resume my training at two fold for missing out on my nighttime training," Lee smiled throwing it into the awkward silence.
"Ah-haha… I guess I have to clean up our mess," Naruto tried to laugh a bit. Gaara realized they were all coming up with things that they had to do to make the parting a little less awkward. They had all shared the night together and bonds had been forged between them. Maybe not intense ones, but they had been made and it is so much harder to break a bond than to make one. This bit of reality was the cause of their currently unmoving predicament. Shikamaru was the only one edging them on to say their partings.
What could Gaara say? What excuse could he give to make his parting easier? … What was he going to do later? …
"I have nothing to do," was what came out though. Again, all eyes were draw to him. He had taken to staring at the ground, hoping what he had said was sufficient.
Though, the sudden bought of laughter however, caused him to return his gaze to the group formation. They were laughing at his response and he could feel his eyes narrow. What was so funny? All he had said was that he had nothing to do. And it was true. What had been so humorous? They were all so very strange.
"What's so funny?" his mint eyes glared at his new found companions.
"Nothing, nothing," Shikamaru responded through his laughs, which had died down considerably. Gaara received smiles all around.
"It was a pleasure to get to know you better, Gaara-kun," Lee started with a bow. Gaara's comment had broken the ice a little, though unintentional. "I would like to do this another time as well."
Gaara knew he would blush. Though he suppressed it as much as possible, casting his eyes to the ground and given a slight nod of acknowledgement. It was all too overwhelming for him. Having grown up alone and understanding and accepting the fact that people despised him for being the monster that he was… to encountering a few chosen people who would accept him and acknowledge him without fear for being the monster that he was… He couldn't help, but feel this way. The constriction in his chest.
"Yeah, as troublesome as all of this was… it was kind of enjoyable," Shikamaru decided to admit and Chouji nodded along with the comment.
"Thank you for inviting us, Naruto-kun. It was a lot of fun," Lee turned his attention to Naruto who blushed a bit as well, though the grin on his face covered up for the similar feeling that he had to Gaara's. Knowing that his first sleepover hadn't been a disaster was thanks enough for him.
"Of course it was! What would you expect from your future Hokage?" Naruto stood confident, trademark smile in place and hands on hips. The comment earned him smirks all around and a flicker of the eyes from the red head at his side.
"See you around," Shikamaru turned away and headed in the opposite direction.
"Bye. Naruto, Gaara," Chouji gave a wave of his own and retreated, following Shikamaru.
"Good bye Naruto-kun! Gaara-kun!" Lee shouted off exuberantly and trotted off in a different direction, leaving Gaara and Naruto by themselves.
"Bye!" Naruto shouted to them all, waving and staring longingly after them, a twinkle in his azure eyes. He slowly let his wide smile fade so that his lips were only upturned and he dropped his hand softly to his side.
Now was the time.
Gaara could feel the tension in the air escalate and the focus of the world switch to the two standing side by side. Both could feel it. The two had experienced something completely new together. In these past two days they had grown to understand one another in a sense of silence, reading each other's eyes as if they had known each other for years.
There were ways they knew they clashed, obvious from their second encounter. There were ways that they knew they clicked. It made them wonder if they would have ever become friends at all if they did not have that one thing in common, their demons.
Though all present in the events the previous night had created stronger bonds with one another, the blonde and the red head had intensified the one between themselves unintentionally.
Indebtedness. Pride. Comfort. Need.
These were all things that bound the two standing in the crowded street where nobody existed but the two of them.
They couldn't say they were close enough to be best friend. They weren't close enough to even say "really good" friends. What they had between them was something entirely different than between Naruto and Sasuke. Or Naruto and Sakura.
It just existed. Neither spoke of it because they could feel it there, deep in their cores where their inner demons lay below the surface. There were no words for it.
Naruto was never one for tense moments like these. The blood running through his veins felt like sludge and he could feel his heart letting out loud, dull, thuds against his chest. What would they say to each other? How would they part?
Naruto turned to face the red head who acknowledged him by turning his green eyed gaze upwards. It looked as though Naruto would have to start this departure, his pale friend looked as though his lips were sealed shut and would not move without force.
Just as he was about to start his good-bye to his newly acquired friend, something happened.
Gaara lowered his head and allowed his lower back to fall stiffly towards the ground in the form of an elegant bow.
"Thank you."
Naruto looked at his friend, the gesture unnerving him slightly. It was unexpected. A few months ago Gaara would never have lowered his head to anybody. Had he really changed this much?
Naruto felt the heat rise a little to his whiskered cheeks and he tried to search for his voice, which was stunned from the surprise. Though, he found it once more when Gaara lifted himself back up into his proper form, expression the same as always.
Naruto paused a moment longer before giving a slight laugh.
"There's no need to thank me," the Genin attempted to wave it off. "I'm jus-," he was cut off by the smooth voice of the other.
"Stop it," Gaara's eyes narrowed at the blonde. "I need you to accept my gratitude to you." This was a difficult task for Gaara. He needed to learn how to say "thank you," to someone. He had never said those words for as long as he could remember. He never had a need to. He never had felt compelled to. But now… for someone as important as the Genin before him, he must. It was an accomplishment he was willing to try for and he needed Naruto to cooperate with him.
The blonde stared back at those green orbs. He had opened his mouth to retaliate out of formality, but shut it when he read into them. This is how Gaara spoke. It was different than how everyone else communicated, but he was gradually beginning to pick it up. Perhaps it is because he can understand why those feelings would cross the red head… If it hadn't been for Iruka and the others, Naruto would have ended up the same as Gaara after all… It was a fact that he could not forget.
"Since that time, you have taught me a lesson," Gaara started after being assured that Naruto would not interrupt his mission, averting his eyes away, unable to make direct contact with the blonde's features. "You have given me… a friend, and … someone to believe in. Hope," was all the red head had managed to get out. He was never one for talking and to express himself as such was damned near impossible for him. But it had been important for Naruto to hear him.
Naruto listened carefully to the choppy sentences Gaara had tried to procure from his highly unused vocal chords. The fact that Gaara had stopped him earlier had made it clear the importance of what he was saying. Gaara would never talk nonsense because it was not his style. If it weren't pertinent, then Gaara would never say it. His words though…
Naruto was slightly taken aback. When he had first encountered Gaara, he had been angered that the red head had ignored him all together, too interested in Sasuke. This anger had later developed into fear of the boy. Gaara was strong and unstable. He struck fear in his village and everyone around him, and for good reason. But now… looking back on that Gaara, it was easy to see the changes that the dark ringed boy has been going through.
Psychopathic, unstable, Gaara was now attempting speech. He was attempting feeling again. He was attempting to prove his existence without causing fear. Naruto could see how he had changed him. All of this change, was caused by none other than himself.
The blonde took a small bit of pride in this knowledge and a large grin struck his face as Gaara awaited his response.
"Hai-hai-hai-hai-hai-hai!" came the oddly choppy and annoying laugh. Gaara looked up and narrowed his eyes. Why was it that whenever he was serious every body laughed?
"Another small step in the direction of greatness for the amazing Uzumaki Naruto! Tamer of Sabaku no Gaara!" Naruto belted out, gloating in his stunning accomplishment.
Gaara could do nothing but glare. Yes. He was indebted to this idiot, but his not completely extinct blood lust desires were craving to wring the blonde's neck and spill his inner fluids. Oh how this blonde toyed with his already befuddled thoughts.
Naruto could feel the glare directed at him and he let his laughter died down, though his smile remained. Though he would gloat in his accomplishments with Gaara, he had genuinely felt more pride in the fact that Gaara was getting better, had socialized and attempted conversation. It was a long road that the red head would have to follow. A long, long road…
But he had subconsciously decided that he would take the small hand of the child that had become lost on that road so long ago, and he would trek it to the very end with him.
"Gaara…" Naruto started. Gaara loved how his name sounded coming from the blonde's mouth. Nothing ever sounded bland. It gave his name an emotion, a deep passion for something other than the strong inclination of fear. It was soft. It was intimate. It was the way he had wished someone would call him.
"Good luck."
Gaara's dark ringed eyes widened just a tad, so that only Naruto would have noticed. He pursed his pale lips together and nodded in response, not being able to muster up a farewell of his own.
Naruto turned to leave, sparing a last glance at Gaara and waving at him and giving him a sun filled grin. The grin that made Gaara's knees go weak with the notion to let his life lay in the hands of an orange jumpsuit.
"Become the Kazekage someday so that when I become Hokage, you and I can be friends forever." Naruto threw out the last suggestion, pointing a finger in the direction of the stunned red head.
If there was ever a moment in life where Gaara could have taken a picture and kept it around with him as a memory, it would be now.
It was moments like these in the chronicles of the Uzumaki's life that seemed so final. Whenever the blonde had made a decision such as this, there was no changing it. It was as if no matter the challenges life would throw at him, he would make it happen…
What was special about this chapter… was that he was now included in the blonde's life.
He was important to someone.
His existence was wanted by someone and needed by someone.
It was a difficult thought to process after so many years of being told the complete opposite. It might take sometime, but he felt he would have enough time now to try as he watched the blonde head fade away into the crowd.
Gaara felt as though he had been given life.
113
It was midday and the two siblings from the sand were relaxing in the apartment they had rented. It was nice to have some time away from Baki and training and it was even more pleasant to not turn the corner and feel the ominous threat that is their brother approaching them.
They loved their brother, even though they feared being in his presence. They have ever since after he had killed Yashamaru… That is when they realized what was really wrong with the little red head. Their father had imprisoned a terrible being, the Shukaku of the sand, inside of their own flesh and blood.
It had been a shock at first, a blow to their system. Their father, the Kazekage, had always been kind and loving to them, taking great pride in their development. Never did they wonder why Gaara didn't live with them until that fateful day.
Kankurou would not speak to their father unless forced to. Temari was torn between her brother and her father. Though what her father had done to their youngest sibling was wrong, she had felt the need to try and keep what was left of their family together. Gaara was too far from their reach as they had tried before, after the incident, to contact him and received nothing but a pair of icy green eyes and a threat.
It didn't stop them from trying though. It was frustrating trying to work with their youngest brother who had no faith in or love for anyone but himself. They had pulled some strings when Gaara graduated to Genin status in order to be closer to him, trying to look out for him. But Gaara seemed too far from their grasp.
After the death of their father and Gaara's ultimate defeat, something had changed in their little brother. He had been showing signs of it ever since that day and the two siblings were unsure of why or how stable Gaara really was.
Though, the two days ago when Gaara had spoken to them had rebirthed their hope of ever having a family again. They wanted a family with the member who had been missing from it since birth.
A sudden low gust of wind at the window drew both of their attention from what they were doing, to the now occupied window. Gaara held a delicate pose for balance on the wooden sill before slipping into the sunlit, cozy living room.
"G-Gaara," Kankurou stuttered, not having expected his youngest sibling back so soon.
"We didn't think you'd be back so soon," Temari expressed on her brother's train of thought. In fact, they hadn't expected him to return during daylight at all. He had a habit of strolling in very early in the morning to extremely late at night.
Gaara stood up straight and spared his siblings a glance. It was a sign of acknowledging their existence, whether it be as annoyance or something more.
The youngest of the siblings stalked silently to the room that was dubbed as his own for their stay in Konoha, leaving his two worried siblings staring at his wake.
Temari grit her teeth a little bit. Would it be wise to question him? Both she and Kankurou had been dragged from their lives in Suna to spend a few days in Konoha. When she had asked Gaara why he was going to that place, he responded with nothing other than the word "training." And recently the she had gotten the word "Naruto."
What kind of training would their mentally unstable brother do in Konoha that he couldn't do in Suna unless it involved the little blonde loudmouth? She had a feeling though that Gaara wasn't saying everything, not that she had expected he would. Temari would just prefer to not start another war between the two nations due to one off her brother's sadistic needs to possibly off a loud orange Genin.
Kankurou watched his brother's back sullenly and longingly. Ever since the time when they were young, Kankurou had felt and overwhelming sense of guilt for not being there for his youngest sibling. Sometimes he would wonder briefly if he and Gaara would have been close had things not worked themselves out to the way they were now.
He just wanted to know that his little brother, whether or not the green eyed boy cared for him at all, was okay.
It was then that he noticed the pouch at Gaara's side was considerably fuller than when the redhead had left.
"Ano… Gaara. What were you doing?" Kankurou felt compelled to ask. He could feel his heart rate jump when Gaara stopped, but did not turn around.
Time seemed to slow down and pass by painstakingly slow.
Temari looked at her painted face brother who had taken the words right from her mouth.
It was minutes before Gaara had thought up a proper response.
"I…" Gaara made the slightest tilt of his head, as if he were debating looking back at his siblings. There was a pause in his train of thought, probably unsure of why he was even bothering to tell the annoyance he considered his kin. "… was making friends."
Gaara felt the words roll of his tongue. They were so foreign coming from his own lips. It formed a cozy feeling in the midsection of his chest and peace and calm washed over his body, causing him to relax. Returning to his siblings after his parting with Naruto had him on a slight edge. He didn't particularly want to talk to them, but he remembered his last conversation with them hadn't been so bad… In fact, Temari had told him to "have fun," which he was inclining to believe was a sign of affection towards him.
Gaara remained still and silent, awaiting his siblings responses if any.
There was an awkward silence as Temari and Kankurou tried to process what their sadistic sibling had just admitted to them.
Was he being serious? He had to be, Gaara had no sense of humor… The softness of his words seemed to express his sincerity.
Was it true? Their little brother who they have tried to reach out to, to try and give a normal life to, was trying to make friends?
Kankurou was sure his eyes were watering as much as Temari's, but neither would let them spill. They supposed that maybe this is what a parent feels like when their child makes their first friend.
"Did you make any friends?" Temari couldn't contain herself any longer, the sister in her trying to pry into her brother's life. Gaara was finally opening up to them. After so long. She had so many questions for him and briefly wondered if he would ever accompany her shopping. She could make use of his sand to cut through the lines.
Gaara turned his head a little more so that one of his eyes could see his sister. He paused once more, debating on whether or not he should respond. Was she really that interested in his life? It led to the thought that maybe his sibling did care for him after all…
He closed his eyes and turned his head forward again, replying with a nod of his head.
The two eldest from the sand smiled at their brother's back, truly and honestly happy for him.
"That's great!" Temari exclaimed, wondering who exactly it was. She had an idea, but it was only a suspicion. No one could pull her from her hard ass demeanor except for Gaara. "Though…" her face and tone fell slightly and she looked at the gourd that covered half of the red head's body.
His sisters' tone of voice had caught his attention and Gaara refrained from moving. Kankurou cast a look over at his blonde sister and decided to take the task of telling Gaara.
"Temari and I are really happy that you've made a friend Gaara," Kankurou started, daring to take a step forward. "But… We really need to get back to Suna. All this humidity is making my face paint smudge," he added as a half joke, hoping it might appeal to the dark ringed boy so that he didn't flip out on either of them. Though Gaara seemed somewhat tame and compliant right now, he didn't stop thinking for a second that his brother wouldn't turn on him.
This was still untested ground and he was hoping Temari would get the hint. The prying she had attempted unnerved him slightly.
Gaara again didn't say anything for a few moments, causing both siblings to wonder what he was thinking.
There was a sigh and then, "I know…"
There was the silent pats of footsteps as Gaara made his way to his "room," followed by the soft click of the handle.
Temari and Kankurou watch their brother retreat, staying silent and still in the hallway. Each reflecting on their most important person. Each hoping that someday that important person will understand what he means to them. Each dreaming that someday that important person will be happy.
It was an important peak in their family relations and it would be one they remembered for a long time. They would work patiently with their sibling and maybe some day, they could act like a real family again.
They hoped.
114
Months have passed since those few enlightening days.
For months there has been nothing on the mind of Suna's most feared weapon.
Nothing other than Naruto.
Gaara couldn't quite place it, what this feeling was. It was familiar, but it seemed so strange.
Loneliness? …
That was it, wasn't it? This terrible feeling of longing to be near another, specifically a blonde blue-eyed Genin from another country.
Why was he feeling so lonely? He had been alone nearly all of his life… so why now? Why did this bout of nostalgic emotions decided to emerge now?
Naruto was his first friend. The first friend in a long time that he felt he could really trust. Naruto was the friend that has taught him another way of life and he was sure that this loneliness was derived from the absence of Naruto in his life. Naruto over those few days in Konoha had implanted himself in a notch of Gaara's barren heart. Shortly after the departure from the other country, the blonde had been ripped from the little nook he had created and was thus, leaving the red head lonely.
Gaara decided he hated that. He had spent the past month or so staring out his window or up at the midnight sky, deep in thought. He didn't pay attention anything to what Baki said nor did he even attempt to fight back during training and let the sand shield him from anything that could possibly harm him.
He had spoken a few times to Kankurou and Temari who have become considerably less tense around him, even gracing him with smiles when ever approaching. Sometimes he could deal with them and sometimes he would send them off with a quick glare.
There was something else found within the pit of emotions he had returned to Suna with.
Guilt.
Naruto had taught Gaara so much. He had even shown him friends and allowed Gaara to attempt to bond with them, which had gone fairly well since no blood had been spilled.
But Gaara had done nothing with this knowledge. He had made no initiative to talk with his siblings nor had he made any friends since his return to Suna. In fact, he was sure his return caused many to recede in his list of want to be friends.
Gaara had been wasting his precious training with Naruto and it was eating at him…
Could he do it? Could he try and make friends on his own? Without the comfort of that supporting smile behind him? …
Gaara stood up from the chair at his desk, making his way to his door and into his kitchen. He looked determined, like he had his mind set on something.
When he had rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, he found both of his siblings eating lunch and their eyes turned to him. Gaara's expression told his siblings that something needed to be said and they awaited his speech.
Suddenly, Gaara couldn't find his voice. He parted his full lips slightly as if he were trying to start a conversation, but nothing came out.
How does he start a conversation about nothing?
He narrowed his eyes, becoming frustrated with his predicament and he watched his siblings softly smile at him.
"Gaara…" Temari started and it sounded as if she were trying to help him in his sudden quest, like she was trying to encourage him…
He didn't need their encouragement. In fact, their encouragement made him feel weak, smaller, and insignificant. He had always felt that he was more of the older sibling than either of the two who he had considered annoyances (now upgraded to gray existences). He was stronger and had more control over the both… But now that they were trying to pry into his life or lack there of, he felt like the youngest, which he was. He didn't like it.
He grit his teeth, baring them slightly, letting out a low frustrated growl and suddenly his siblings looked worried.
"Gaara?" Temari questioned and Gaara couldn't take it anymore. This was not working for him, not without the aid of Naruto. He turned around sharply and headed for the door, picking up his gourd on the way out. He could hear Kankurou call out to him, but he ignored it.
…
That had been a pitiful failure. He hadn't even managed to form one syllable and was back to square one. Frustrated and confused and still lonely.
Naruto had said that night that Gaara had met him through the open window, it would take years and a lot of time and patience. Gaara had tried for years as a younger child. He had tried and failed, because the overwhelming thought of his instability and great power was too much for his village members to handle.
Gaara was never one to start conversations however, unless they were to prove a point or to make sure his siblings weren't starting anything unnecessary, like Kankurou had tried to that little brat friend of Naruto's back when they had first met the other Genin.
Maybe he was going about this whole friend thing the wrong way. How had Naruto done it, he wondered… He was almost positive that the other boy had given them no choice and permanently imprisoned himself in their lives until they grew accustomed to his presence and accepted him slowly, one by one.
Gaara recalls staring longingly after kids that he would like to have played with. He was young and fragile in mind and heart at that time, making it much easier for Shukaku to toy with him and allow him the power to act upon his rage.
As he walked down the semi barren streets of Suna, people slinking along the shadows of the buildings, praying to their Kazekage that Gaara didn't notice them, Gaara came across a familiar sight.
"Aw man! Now what are we supposed to do? It's all the way up there!"
The voice yelled out and Gaara was snapped from his thoughts, his gaze and attention focusing on the source. Annoying little pests. He observed them however to determine what their fuss was about.
It was then that he noticed the ball located diagonally across from their gaze, on top of a wall ledge. It was so familiar, a memory Gaara did not treasure.
"Gaara-sama! Please stop it!"
He could still hear that treacherous and deceitful voice cry out for him to stop, but not until Yashamaru had been battered a bit. Gaara was still a child and easily influenced. When he realized what he had done to Yashamaru, he knew he had done something wrong and immediately felt regret for his actions. But the kids had provoked him with names and their unreasonable (he had thought at the time) of him. As a child, he didn't have very good control of his emotions and he became angry, sending his sand to avenge the blow they had done inside of his small chest. With the power of the Shukaku inside of him, a child's anger can become a deadly weapon, and that's what he had been and done.
Again, he had been dealt the card of regret and hoped he could make it up to the child he had hurt unintentionally by bringing him some ointment. He had worn a smile and had apologized as politely as he had been taught, but…
He had received nothing more than a vicious and cruel rejection and a door in his face for his earnest attempts. It was the marking in his life where he realized that no matter how nice he was, people would not accept him and continue to fear him.
Was it his eyes? His face? … Did he really seem that scary that he wouldn't be given a chance? He knew it was really the Shukaku that they all feared, the demon bonded to his body since birth, but… He wasn't Shukaku. He wasn't Shukaku.. Why did they only see the Shukaku? They over looked the innocent child that they had condemned and treated him the same.
And here he was now, observing the same scene over again, years later. He could get the ball down easily for the kids… It was almost like fate was tempting him with a second chance. Gaara almost had the inclination to look around for his favorite blonde who seemed to give him similar second chances, but he knew that was impossible.
Gaara found himself staring at the perplexed kids who were blissfully unaware of his presence, which made him all the more confident. Would he try again? Should he even bother when he knew that it would not be so simple? … Well, if he didn't try because it wouldn't be simple, then it wouldn't be worth trying for… that and he didn't want to digress into the lazy eyed Chuunin.
This would be for Naruto he decided. He would be able to tell Naruto of his attempts with friendship in Suna. Gaara allowed himself an inner smirk at the thought of being able to speak with the blonde that he "missed."
Gaara closed his eyes and gave himself an encouraging nod before opening them again and reaching out a hand to stir the sand at the children's feet, guiding it with his will. He vaguely remembers someone asking him how he controls the sand and he was unable to answer. It was weird because it just came natural, like the sand was an extension of his body, which he treated it as.
"Ah!" there was a startled sound as the children looked from their feet to the rooftop where the sand was headed, curious as to what it was doing and how. It was when the sand grasped the ball like a snake coiling around its prey and fell into a set of pale hands did they grasp what was going on.
Gaara looked briefly at the ball, studying it with his cold piercing eyes and pale hands. This familiar feel underneath his fingertips was driving butterflies into his stomach. He was beginning to feel nervous and second thinking what he was doing. He brought his eyes up to meet the frightened ones of the children.
The way the kids shakily raised their arms to their face and the way their teeth chattered uncontrollably… Their little squeaks… It all indicated their fear… Gaara could practically smell it on them and it made him jittery and excited. Shukaku loved the smell of fear.
No.
Gaara closed his eyes before taking a step towards the kids in order to return their ball. Almost immediately the sand under their small feet shifted as they took a step backwards, causing Gaara to pause.
Gaara brought his arms back towards his body, slowly and he looked at the kids, expression as blank as ever. If he kept advancing, the kids would just keep retreating until they have broken out into a full out run. …
He needed to offer the ball to them in a way that could possibly be non-threatening. He didn't think he was giving off an ominous vibe, but apparently the children thought so. He felt his lips tug into a slight frown.
"Here." Was all he said before extending his arms out carefully, so as not to spook them. Gaara felt like he was coaxing a small animal to him, which he supposed he was.
The kid's eyes widened and they looked at him, caught in his captivating gaze. Gaara made no notion of movement; it was almost impossible to tell if he was breathing. The kid's eye slowly fell back to their normal size after a few minutes and they stood up straight, looking at him curiously, almost as they were sizing him up, trying to analyze his intentions.
Before their young eyes was the most feared being in Suna. Their parents had told them stories of his viciousness and enormous power that was to be feared by all, even the Kazekage. They were always taught to run and hide if they ever saw him. It was equivalent to other parents telling their children "If you see a stranger, don't talk to them. Run straight home."
But, this boy before them didn't seem too bad. If they were assuming right, he seemed to want to return the ball to them… Maybe their parents were wrong about this kid…
Gaara watched himself be scrutinized under their inexperienced gaze. He felt his heart thump in disbelief. They haven't run away yet… Gaara felt himself cling to a hope that this might actually work… Even if they were younger than him, it's possible he could have people from his village that weren't afraid of him.
The thought sent shivers down his spine.
"No! What are you doing! Stay away from him!" he heard someone call and suddenly there was a boy about his age, strikingly resembling the child in the middle of the group.
Gaara looked up and locked eyes with the boy who was glaring intensely at him, striking a defensive pose. Gaara narrowed his mint eyes at the boy. Time froze for the two as they carried out a battle of mentalities. The children watched the sparks fly from the two and they coward at the scene.
Finally the boy who interfered with Gaara's attempts to be friendly stood up straight, never taking his eyes off of him.
"Come on, we'll get you a new ball." The boy said while reaching blindly for his possible sibling's hand. The child took a hold of it and hid behind the older boy, still looking at Gaara.
He had come so close…
He had had the patience to try for this little bit of progress…
And now, his effort was being shot down again and he could feel his blood boil as the sand sifted dangerously around him…
"What are you doing here?! Go home, monster!"That's exactly what was happening now… Wasn't it?
Gaara's body started to shudder as the rage built from the tips of his toes, traveling along his veins and coiling to an explosion in his chest.
Why did this always happen…!?
Why couldn't the give him a chance to rectify himself?!
Gaara's lips twitched slightly into a sadistic smirk and he felt his eyes go wide.
The sight of blood, he hadn't seen it in a while. It was calling to him. Oh how those lovely young ones would look smashing dressed in their own blood. That metallic scent, so familiar…
The sand suddenly rose like a wave, hovering over Gaara's head like a demon. It was like the stained sand had a life of it's own screamed desires for death. It was a weapon. A tool.
The older boy look back at Gaara, his instincts detecting danger in the area. What he saw would be imprinted in him forever. Gaara's eyes were wide and dilated, possessed looking. His smile was tainted with the malice he had been exposed to as a child and all of the stories the boy had heard about Suna's red headed demon came flooding back in a small period of time. It was a brutally honest reality.
The sand dripped over Gaara's being like a viper waiting to strike a defenseless and unsuspecting rodent… and the boy vaguely wondered if this was what it was like to look in the eyes of a reaper?
Blood.
Blood.
He needed to see their blood.
Shukaku wanted to taste their blood and roll around in their death…
And he would give it to him.
Gaara licked his lips, dropping the ball to the ground and raising a hand, painfully slow… It was beautiful to watch his prey wait anxiously for their death.
"Your eyes. Your eyes tell your story."
Gaara stopped suddenly and the sand fell to the ground with a thud and a pale hand quickly reached up to grasp the top of his head, doubling over.
What was this?
"I think I understand you better now."
N… Naruto?
"Become the Kazekage someday so that when I become Hokage, you and I can be friends forever."
Why now?
Gaara let out a frustrated growl, his teeth clenched as if he were in pain, tearing at his red hair with his fingers. He opened one eye and came face to face with faces of fear.
Gaara's eyes widened slightly and he came back to his senses. He shakily and hesitantly released his hair…
What was he doing?
One of the kids breath hitched and took a step back. They had almost been killed.
What had he done?
Suddenly, screams filled the street of Suna and the small group of kids ran for their lives, almost as if a lingering trail of sand was following them.
The pain stopped and Gaara straightened himself out, placing his normal, placid expression on his face…
He closed his eyes, which contained the slightest bit of hurt of them, so insignificant that even he himself wouldn't have noticed.
Gaara stood that way for a few more minutes, watching the empty direction in which the group of children had run off.
He slowly looked over to his side on the ground where he had dropped the ball. He looked at it for a minute more before deciding to gingerly pick it up, almost as if it were made of porcelain and would break under any strenuous pressure.
And he turned and walked away.
115
He was not angry with himself. No, not in the least.
In fact, he was quite proud of what he had done.
Gaara had set out that afternoon in order to practice some of his friendship skills that Naruto had taught him during his brief stay in Konoha. He had come across a situation that could prove to bear fruits in his quest.
However… when one troublesome child showed up, he became provoked by his words and lost his sense of mind. Shukaku took advantage of the slight bout of emotions that had surged through him and tried to satisfy his own needs and desires for blood through his mentally incapable host.
But then…
"Become the Kazekage someday so that when I become Hokage, you and I can be friends forever."
Gaara clenched the ball that was in his hands. He had been staring at it as he walked aimlessly through the streets of Suna, completely unaware of any of the usual stares and glares he received from his heartwarming country.
Naruto…
Naruto had stopped him from doing something he might regret. His words had traveled with him over this past few months and when Gaara needed him most, the blonde was still somehow there.
Because of Naruto's words that Gaara had taken heed to, Gaara had been able to suppress Shukaku's desires and regain control of himself… He hadn't hurt anyone this time.
It caused himself to give a brief inward sense of satisfaction at his accomplishment.
He had failed to make any friends; in fact, he may have just decreased the list of possibilities. But, he had done something for the first time in his life. He had overpowered and fought against Shukaku and he felt a bit of relief and pride in this. It was a step towards his ultimate goal: acceptance.
He would become the Kazekage.
The Kazekage was a man or woman of immense power. A person who was respected, loved, and accepted by their country.
That was who he wanted to be… That was all he wanted…
That and… Naruto would be Hokage… He knew it.
If Gaara could become the Kazekage then he would most likely see the blonde.
Gaara closed his eyes. He could only hope.
No.
He could and he would make it happen. He would become the Kazekage no matter the circumstances. Shukaku or no Shukaku. It was too important for him. It was something he wanted and he would have it… the years of being spoiled before the assassination attempts had given him that mentality.
That, and a certain blonde who did no know when to give up.
Gaara halted in his steps and opened his eyes again, staring straight ahead.
Naruto…
He could almost see him. That ridiculous orange jumpsuit tattered from training. His blonde hair blowing slightly and yet resisting the breeze created from Suna's wind. Trademark smile gleaming in the bright sun.
"Oi! Sakura-chan! Sasuke!"
Naruto?
Gaara blinked.
"Ano sa, ano sa!" the blonde giddily called over to his teammates who responded by walking calmly over to their impatient and obviously excited team member.
Naruto was… in… Suna?
"Ahh, Naruto! Calm down, you're embarrassing us!" Gaara heard the pink haired girl who was looking around at all the people stopping to stare at the foreigners, say to the blonde.
"But…" he smiled, his fox like expression appearing. "What about this?" he grinned, holding up an odd trinket from a vendor. It looked like a hairball attached to a metal chain and Gaara wondered briefly why this had interested the blonde so much.
Sakura frowned slightly and put her hands on her hips. Sasuke merely looked off to the side, completely uninterested in the boy's finding.
"You're such and idiot! Don't waste your money on that! Come on, we have to go meet Kakashi-sensei!"
Wait.
Did that mean Naruto was leaving?
This was the first time Gaara has seen the blonde in months and he hasn't even given him a greeting. His feet felt like they had grown attached to the ground however and he had no control over his movement.
"But, Sakura-chan! I need to get a souvenir for Iruka-sensei!" Naruto complained and Sakura was slowly becoming irritated by his persistence and she clenched her fists.
"Shut up, idiot. Just grab your toys and lets go," Sasuke was becoming annoyed by both. Naruto complained too much about nothing and Sakura complained too much about Naruto. He turned his head to the side in a "cool" manner.
"Sasuke-teme!" Naruto growled out and he seemed as though he were searching for the words to say, however, there was nothing. Naruto was always so frustrated by Sasuke and the Uchiha seemed to always have the upper hand on Naruto's poorly thought through arguments, allowing the dark haired ninja to give a little smirk.
What should he do? Gaara closed his eyes in thought, still holding the ball in his hands as if it were an object that would give him all the answers to his questions.
Should he call out to him and let the blonde know of his presence? What would he say after that?
Gaara felt his chest constrict and a surge of special excitement flowed through every orifice on his body.
Naruto.
It was good to see that confident smile and it made his body feel warm… or maybe it was the sun beating down on his dark clothing. But whatever it was, it was pleasant. He felt lighter looking at the blonde, like a burden was being lifted from his chest.
Then, something caught Naruto's eyes.
"Ah? … Gaara?" Naruto noticed the red head who seemed to be deep in thought, oblivious to the world around him.
Should he, or shouldn't he? Gaara was perplexed by the question. He wanted to see Naruto because he hasn't seen his friend for too long… but for some reason, the thought of communicating with the blonde made him nervous. He hated feeling week in the presence of the blonde and he grit his teeth.
"Oi." Gaara looked up and came face to face with the blue eyes that have been plaguing his mind for the past few months. He blinked once, not having expected the blonde to have noticed let alone come over to him. Was he that deep in thought that he didn't notice the loud mouth approaching?
Naruto grinned when he realized he had the red head's attention.
"Yo. What's up? What's the ball for?"
Gaara responded with no more than a blink and it made Naruto wonder briefly is Gaara really even knew he was there. He waved a sun kissed hand in front of Gaara's face and the icy eyes focused completely on Naruto and he upturned his brows slightly.
"Why are you here?" Naruto frowned at the question. Didn't Gaara want to see him? How could he not? Naruto was the best person in Konoha as far as the blonde was concerned.
"I had a mission and we happened to stop through Suna," Naruto frowned, which looked more like a pout in Gaara's eyes. His eyes were squinted like he was trying to examine something very closely. Closely… Naruto was very close to Gaara at the moment and the red head felt himself looking down at the ball in his hands.
Naruto followed his gaze and watched Gaara who was watching the ball. Naruto looked back up at Gaara's face and noticed it hadn't changed at all. He was so weird…
When Gaara was done thinking with whatever ran through his messy red haired head, he looked up at Naruto. Naruto could tell he had something swirling around in his pale eyes. They were interesting to look at, because they were accentuated nicely by the dark rings surrounding his eyes. What was even more was the way they shone whenever something seemed mildly amusing or how they dulled when he was upset by something. Naruto spent much of his time looking into Gaara's eyes when they had last been together. It was the only way to really tell what he was thinking.
"Hm?" Naruto was confused by the thought held in Gaara's eyes however and tilted his head to the side, huffing out his cheeks.
"Will you… sleep over my home?" Gaara asked, pausing in between, indicating that whatever he was about to say, was a bit awkward for him to ask.
Naruto was caught off guard by this question.
Gaara stared intently at the blonde, awaiting his response. The captivating eyes unnerved Naruto a bit, nor was he sure he wanted to spend the night away from Konoha… in Gaara's home… with Gaara.
Yes, Naruto had Gaara spend the night with him a few months back and he had trusted him then to not kill him in the middle of the night. And it wasn't really Gaara that made him hesitant to say yes… It was more so… Gaara was a very weird child and frankly, he was a little frightened of what he might find in his home.
He imagined walking into Gaara's home and sitting down on the couch.
"Ah what lovely designs on this blanket! They look so abstract!" he would say, turning to rub the red and white designed blanket hanging on the couch.
…
"Oh… That's from when I killed our neighbors cat," Gaara walks over and picks it up. "I forgot I left that there." Naruto is left with a morbid imprint on his brain.
Naruto looked behind him at his teammates and scratched the side of his cheek. They were watching him and waiting for him to come back so they could leave the sand country.
"I don't know Gaara…." He turned back to his friend. He really wanted to go back to Konoha after his mission.
However, when he met Gaara's mint green eyes something in him caved. Gaara would never ask things like this before. Gaara rarely ever said anything to anyone when he was in Konoha… Was the red headed boy attempting to be a friend to Naruto?
Naruto looked into those dark ringed eyes and he saw sincerity and hope. Anxiousness. And somehow he lost the gall to tell his friend no, instead, giving him a lopsided smile.
"Okay." He responded and watched Gaara's eyes widen and it brings a smile to Naruto's lips. "Wait here," he says before turning and jogging back over to his teammates.
Gaara stares after him, disbelieving what he had just heard.
Naruto had agreed to spend the night in his home?
He hadn't been expecting the blonde to answer him in such a way. He had been full out prepared for a refusal and with good reason. Naruto was headed back from a mission, he probably wanted to get back to his apartment and relax… They didn't even really know each other that well.
But he couldn't deny the lightness he felt in his chest, struggling to find the word. He knew he's felt it once before, but it was so long ago… Is this what happiness felt like?
He felt the corner of his mouth twitch at the thought and suddenly, he felt like he was six years old again. Somebody had accepted him…
Gaara lowered his head slightly and allowed himself wonder how it would feel to walk home with someone beside him. Someone who wouldn't run away and would share with him smiles and exchange words. Someone who wouldn't fear him and would help him show the village that he was trying to change his ways from the monster that he was, to the monster he would like to be.
He let himself relish in the feeling procured from these thoughts and he looked up at the blonde who was being reprimanded playfully by his teammates, dropping the ball to the soft ground.
Thank you, Naruto.
000
Next Chapter: Suna
A/N: Cry… It still ended up long. And if you look at what I had plotted, it looks like it would have barely made four pages ;.; I hope you guys enjoy it though! I'm not sure if I kept them in character at all. I've been writing this at 3 and 4 in the morning so there's probably a lot of typos and things so please just ignore them lol Anyways enjoy! I keep writing this just for you guys!
I just wanted to point out, because I'm not sure how to integrate this into the story or even if I should. Naruto is a symbol of hope. He has provided hope to Gaara that he could one day change. In doing so, he has indirectly given hope to Temari and Kankurou to have a real family someday. By giving Gaara hope to be approved and loved by Suna as the Kazekage, he has given hope to Konoha to have peaceful relations with the sand and a powerful ally in international affairs. Lol Dunno, just felt the need to point that out because it was something I wanted to get across, but I don't think I can with Temari and Kankurou left a bit in the dark as to what is going on with Gaara and who his friend is and that Naruto is a dimwit so he wouldn't make the connection. That and Gaara isn't the Kazekage yet. Lol Anyways, let me know how you liked it: ) omg It still ended up pretty long. Well, at least you guys like long chapter lol Hope you enjoyed!!