Hey you guys, glad everyone's liking the drabbles so far. According to the paper slits I drew from my jar this was supposed to be a Mikey and Leo one-shot but a guest-reader asked for a bit of Donnie and Mikey and as the poor guy hardly made an appearance in the others I was like, yeah girl, we're gonna do Donnie and Mikey instead. So yeah, hope you enjoy and all. Again inspired by a quote, long live my addiction to tv-series ;)

Late-night psychology

The first time he had one I was just as terrified as I am now. He has had them for over three weeks now and we're all getting sick with worry over him. He hardly sleeps and when he does the nights are like this, leaving him more tired and confused than when he got to bed.

The first time we thought it was another nightmare. They are not uncommon in the family, secretly we all know that. But we don't like to talk about it. When we were younger we all had our fair share, dreaming about the terrible scientist-monsters living above our home who would come down and tear or small make-shift family apart. Things were much easier then though. When afraid your brothers would hear your screams and see your tears. With a hug, a promise of protection, and a warm body next to you for the rest of the night we could all overcome those childhood fears. However, with age comes bravery and also shame. When we turned twelve we didn't want our brothers to know about what frightens us, makes us weak, so we, as Raph phrases it, suck it up.

And we could, we are perfectly capable to cope. We've been going without terrible nightmares for years, even with the dangerous lives we lead, feeling safe and sound as long as we are in the lair, knowing danger only lives topside. Often we're so tired that when we finally get to bed, we don't even have the energy for a rough night anyways.

But then this happened. The humans have been free from the Kraang for a couple of months now and life is relatively easy. As easy as it can be for four teenaged mutated terrapins that is. The point is, there shouldn't be any reason for Mikey to be screaming his head off every single night for the last three weeks. We're safe, back in New York, back in the game and we've been winning every single fight lately, Casey and April improving a great deal and thus doing patrols is much easier. Why does my baby brother break down now?

His attacks are different from normal nightmares. His hands will always be strapped against his body, like they are bound with a rope only he can feel. His complete body is rigid and his muscles always seem to be strained. He shakes too and sometimes that becomes so violent we have to hold him down. Like now. Raph has his arms in a firm grip and Leo has his legs. I hold his head in place and wince when another scream ripples from his throat. His eyes fly open for a moment, foggy blue orbs twitching slightly, unseeingly staring up to me. Then they close again. Next to the shaking this scares me the most and helped me to diagnose my young, innocent brother. Pavor nocturnus or night terrors, a sleeping disorder.

Mikey has showcased all the different symptoms that go with the disorder, even sleep-walking, a physical response from the patient to try and run from their fears. Further he can't remember anything when he wakes up and he doesn't react to our touches when we try to comfort him during his episodes, unlike with the regular nightmares we used to have.

All of the sudden the shaking picks up again and his breathing gets heavier, his brow sweaty. I notice Raph rubbing Mikey's arms slightly while holding him, as if he needs to chase away a chill. I give an annoyed growl, feeling rather useless to help my brother except for keeping him from getting hurt physically. All we can do is wait for him to wake up.

Lucky for us, it doesn't take that long to actually do so. His eyes open blearily and I feel a surge of relief shudder through me and relax my tensed-up muscles. They are looking at me, not through me like when he has an episode.

"Hey," he mumbles hazily, confusion edged on his face but at the same time there is relief. Probably because all three of his older brothers are around him, grounding him with our warm hands.

"Did I do it again?"

Leo nods while I wrap my brother up in a hug. He is still trembling from the aftermath, his body physically knowing it had been afraid of something but his mind not remembering what it was. It always takes him a while to relax and know that he is safe and here with us. Raph keeps rubbing his arms, noticing how it gives Mikey a comforting touch to focus on instead of his ragged breathing and hammering heart.

After a while he is calmed down enough to apologise awkwardly and urge us to go back to back to our beds. In the beginning we would all stay with him, distracting ourselves with the tv to keep the darkness at bay. But these nights are getting more and more frequent and although Mikey is the victim of insomnia, the rest of us are also feeling the effects of a disrupted sleeping pattern.

"No, Mikey," I tell him firmly and both Leo and Raph look up at me, surprised. "We have to solve this. Night terrors aren't just nightmares, it's a disorder, an illness if you will. We need to cure you soon or the symptoms will affect you physically as well and you'll even get worse."

Actually we are already a little late for that. His skin is pale and he has lost weight even though his eating patterns have remained regular. It shows me how exhausted his body really is. But I don't say it out loud, not wanting to worry my brothers even more.

"I know that, guys, but I can't remember what I dream about, I swear. I'm not trying to make stuff difficult or something, I want to sleep. I just don't know how. At least, without turning into a turtle-earthquake, the way you talk about it."

None of us laugh at that which causes Mikey's just-returned positive attitude to deflate a little. I want him to take this serious for once, to stop being the jokester and to be honest with himself for once.

Mikey sits up, leaving the safety of my arms to face us all. Hugs have always been rare in our family but lately Mikey's been seen more inside one of our arms than out. None of us care how clingy he's got lately, happily offering him our hands and words of comfort but he never makes use of this privilege for long. We like to baby Mikey, but he is also growing up.

"Can't ya give him any meds, Don? If he's sick then there are meds for it, right?"

I direct my gaze to my older brother and shake my head slowly. Well, there is diazepam for extreme cases of night terrors and I'm pretty sure Mikey qualifies as an extreme case, but that would mean we will have to steal from a pharmacy and as far as I know, none of us feel up to doing something as drastic. At least, not yet.

"Night terrors are a mental illness which often occur with people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or something along those lines. They are a psychological response to a traumatic event and I guess there are plenty we can come up with in your case," I say, looking pointedly at Mikey. "So tell me, what is it that scares you so much?"

He gives me a nervous look and refuses to make eye-contact with any of us. Leo nudges him softly to urge him to say something but it doesn't even seem Mikey notices. He fumbles with his fingers, tracing figures on the bedsheets and making small humming sounds like he is actually thinking about my question. Eventually he shrugs.

"I guess it isn't the pizza-murdering-squirrels-living-in-the-sewers-story which Raph was teasing me with the other day," he mumbles, forcing the fake smile back on his face, a little giggle accompanying it. I can see Raph ready to slap him, calling him a "knucklehead" and Leo reprimanding him for his immature behaviour but I stop them with a look. I have the feeling that is exactly what Mikey is aiming for, to get away from the subject. I wait for him to lock eyes with me before I start talking.

"You know what, Mikey? I think you're joking because you're afraid of being serious. Being serious means that things matter and when something matters, you risk getting hurt. So that'd beg the question, what matters to you so much that it hurts?"

There are no fake smiles, quirky remarks or any other sounds coming from Mikey now. All I get is an unresponsive little brother and two gawking older ones, wide blue and green eyes scanning me over. The only one I worry about is Mikey though. He even stopped fidgeting and is now staring at his hands as if they could hold the answer he is looking for.

Eventually it is Leo who takes the reins. "Maybe Raph and I should leave. You got this, don't you Donnie?" He asks while dragging a rebellious Raphael by the arm.

I nod, smiling my thanks when the both exit the room, giving Mikey a little space to breathe. He doesn't look any more relieved or comfortable though. He used to tell me everything but apparently he draws a line here. It makes me wonder if this might have something to do with me, what else could make my normally exuberant and honest brother this locked-down. Even his eyes, which I can normally read like an open book, look blank and empty except for the misty moisture lacing over his irises.

Things go so fast after that. First there are the shivers, which turn into sniffles, which turn into sobs. He stops acknowledging my voice, blurting truth after truth of pent up troubles, frustration and hurt. I let him cry it out.

He tells me about how it all started during the invasion. When Leo was injured and our father was gone. How he dealt with Leonardo's depression and our father's feral behaviour. The vulnerability he had felt without his eldest brother's and sensei's protection because it was simply what he had always relied on. That he tried to be tough, to help his family out. The pressure that he felt was upon him when they freed the humans back in Dimension X. And that the only thing he can think about now is when his whole world will come crashing down around him again.

And here, with him in my arms sobbing his heart out, for the first time since long, I see a glimpse of my baby brother again. There were no ages, no roles a couple of months ago. Just a broken family which tried to piece themselves back together, demanding the strength of every member, even when they were not used to this kind of responsibility. We have always sheltered Mikey from dangers and hurt, keeping him guarded because it gave us a purpose, something to protect with all our might and something to continue to fight for. And while doing that, we never prepared him for the sudden growing up he had to do when our clan fell apart.

He cries himself to sleep, exhaustion making a quick prey out of him. I try to keep him awake but know he won't gain consciousness once he is out. There is going to be another night terror tonight, I know there will be because of how upset he was when he went asleep. But at least now we have something to work with.

I stand up, tucking my kid brother back into his bed and leaving the lamp on his nightstand on. Maybe it'll provide my normally bright little bro some comfort. After that I open his door and face my older brothers who are trying to distract themselves with a late-night snack in the kitchen.

"How did it go? Did he open up?"

I nod, accepting the glass of milk Leo offers me, taking a sip from it before explaining.

"He's afraid of growing up, like every kid has sometimes."

Raph slams his own glass on the table, exhaustion already feeding the growing temper inside of him. "We had weeks of suckish sleep just because the kid don't wanna be part of the grown-ups?!"

Leo calms him slightly with a hand, putting a finger on his lips to signal Raph having to be quiet for Master Splinter and Mikey.

"It isn't that he doesn't want to, Raph," I tell him with a sharp voice. Silencing any other rebuts the hothead of our team wants to make. "He had to too fast. Master Splinter and Leo were out of commission, we lost our home and had to leave the city. Sure, we all went through that but at least you and I knew what it was like to have responsibility. He didn't, this was all new for him and immediately it meant that if he screwed up, he would screw up big time. No place for errors. And when we relied on him so much in Dimension X, it broke him up."

My older brothers remain quiet, Leo moving over to me and placing me in one of the chairs. I notice how my legs are shaking. It's what I like so much about my eldest brother, he takes care of all our needs, big or small. Especially for Mikey. I narrow my eyes.

"Guys, we gotta help him," Raph suddenly says, surprising both me and Leo. I nod, an idea slowly forming in my head.

"We need to take care of him for now but also give him space to do things by himself. We can't risk babying him anymore, it does him more harm than good. It isn't going to fix everything overnight. He needs a lot of help to overcome this first shock and we have to be there. He's scared our family will break up again so we also have to stay close together now, no risking injuries or something like that. Maybe lay low for a little while. If we don't he might get into depression, or catch something serious because of his weakened immune system. I need your help though."

A loud scream which makes Raph curse and Leo wince, tears through the lair. "And I need it now," I add wryly, getting back to my brothers room.

"Can't wait till the knucklehead can sleep again," Raph mutters after me, getting up as well. I grin at that because I know my older brother is just as concerned as I am.

"He will soon," Leo says, confidence without a fake note resounding in his voice. "If he could handle keeping our family together during everything we've been through, I'm sure he can piece himself together as well."

And we managed, it didn't even take Mikey that long. Apparently all he needed was some late-night psychology. Hmmm if the ninja thing doesn't work out a shrink would be a good second option.

I hate this chapter! I hate it with all my heart but when it didn't want to work out the first few times I got annoyed and demanded from myself that I would post it and that it would somehow become good. So this is all what I could make from it and it took me a whole damn weekend to fix it. So you better appreciate it or else…

Anyways, ignore the not that good plot and pay extra attention to my characterization of Donnie, I think that's kinda what I nailed in the end ;) I like him this way, being the good little psychologist he is :p

So yeah, just like I said with MMS, my friend is the one who types this all out so it might take a little longer for me to update everything. Excuse me for that, I'm in pain lol.

See ya!