gee, thanks for all the reviews...
lol, i kid!
anyways, i dont know why i ddin't think of this song earlier i LOVE this song. i thought of it when i was browsing through ptpeach's fave stories, and i stumbled across one entitled: Lady Marmalade.
this chapter has a LOT of references to the movie Moulin Rouge, so if you havent seen it (and SHAME ON YOU if you havent! its a fantastic movie), some things might seem a bit random.
and um.. yeah :) enjoy!
Chapter Four: Lady Marmalade
Once upon a time, there was a man named Link. Link lived in France, in a town atop a hill called Montmartre. Every once in a while, he'd visit the local whorehouse, which was called the Moulin Rouge, which is french for Red Windmill. Coincidently, a Red Windmill was in fact the symbol of the Moulin Rouge.
There also lived a woman, by the name of Lady Marmalade. She was the head prostitute of the Moulin Rouge, but she preferred the word 'courtesan'.
Anyways...
He met Marmalade down in ol' Moulin Rouge, strutting her stuff on the street. She said.
"Hello, hey Link. You wanna give it a go?"
Out of nowhere, the backup dancers known as the Diamond Dogs appeared and started singing the chorus.
"Gitchy gitchy ya ya, da da! Gitchy Gitchy ya ya, here! Mocha Chocalata, ya ya!"
"Creole Lady Marmalade!" Link crooned.
Lady Marmalade then sidled up to Link. "Voulez-vous chouchez avec moi?" She purred.
"Ce soir?" The Diamond Dogs added.
"Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?" Link repeated. "Sorry. My spanish isn't that great..."
Link then sat in her boudoir (whatever the heck that is) while she freshened up. That boy drank all that Magnolia wine. On her black satin sheets, I swear he started to freak. The Diamond Dogs broke out in song again.
"Gitchy gitchy ya ya, da da! Gitchy Gitchy ya ya, here! Mocha Chocalata, ya ya!"
"Creole Lady Marmalde!" Link said again, for no reason. Lady Marmalade approached Link again, as she was finished freshening up.
"Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?" She asked again.
"Err... when?" Link said, pretending he understood the question.
"Ce soir." Marmalade answered. Link's expression was blank, so the prostitute thought she should ask again. "Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?"
The Diamond Dogs pole danced. "We come through with the money in the garter belts and (...something about cake?). We's independent women, some mistake us for whores."
"Why spend mine?" Marmalade asked Link. "When I can spend yours."
Link frowned. "I'm keeping my rupees, thanks."
"Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry." Marmalade told Link. "I'ma keep playing these cats out like--"
"NINTENDO!" Cried Pikachu.
"Wearin' high heeled shoes, gettin' love from the dudes, four badass chicks from the Moulin Rouge!"
"Four?!" Link cried. "There's more of you?! Hey sister--"
"Better get that dough mister." Marmalade told Link. Again, he looked confused.
"Are we baking cookies? I really think I've had enough Peachalicious." But Marmalade had different cuisine in mind.
"We drink wine with diamonds in the glass, by the case--"
"By the case?" Link said disbelievingly. "That's very unhealthy." Marmalade shurgged
"That's the meaning of expensive taste! You wanna gitchy gitchy ya ya."
"No." Link squeaked. "I really don't..."
"Mocha chocalata."
"NO MORE COOKIES!"
"Creole Lady Marmalaaaaade!"
The Diamond Dogs then took centre stage "Marmalaaaaaaaade!" They chanted. "Lady Marmalaaaaaaaade!" Somwhere in the distance, Christina Aguilera sang an elongated "Yeeeaaah!"
"Marmalaaaaaaaade!"
Lady Marmalade then took over. "Hey! Hey! Heeeeeeyyyy!!"
Link touched Marmalade's skin, out of sheer curiosity, and it was silky smooth. Colour of cafe au lait. Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried...
Link looked anxiously at HylianHero128. "Do I have to roar?"
I nodded.
Link grumbled. "Raaaawwwrr." He said very unenthusiastically.
"More! More Moooorrreee!" Cried the Diamond Dogs.
Flash forward a few weeks. Now Link's back home doin' nine to five. Living his grey flannel life. But when he turns off to sleep, oh memories creep.
"They do not!" Link said defiantly.
"More! More Moooorrreee! Gitchy gitchy ya ya, da da! Gitchy Gitchy ya ya, here! Mocha Chocalata, ya ya!"
"Creole Lady Marmalaaaaade!"
With the story left a little... unfinished, a lone cowbell echoed through the air.
"I NEED MOAR COWBELLZ!" Screamed Kirby. Kirby was not granted his extra cowbell.
After that traumatic experience, Link left Montmartre behind, taking the next train back to Nintendo Land. He would leave behind the Moulin Rouge, and the Bohmemian Revolution, for something a little simpler. As he strode into the Smash Mansion, Peach confronted him.
"HEY YOU!"
Not again...
i have no idea what li'l kim is saying at the start of her rap, so please forgive.
and um.. yeah :) that was pretty random. i liked Lady Marmalade, because it's kinda sung like a story, which fits nicely here :)
and thats about all i can say for now.
-ciao! double H over an' out!