A/N May 7, 2013 – I wrote the author's note below last weekend and I still hope will been proven wrong by Rhimes about Meredith and Baby Shepherd's health, but from promo, the only thing I've watched, the Universe's aka/Shonda Rhimes "Screw you Meredith" syndrome appears to be intact. Though, now, I'm skeptical about Derek and/or Meredith surviving season 10.
A/N April 29, 2013 –I think I've mentioned before that I had no idea when I first wrote this story that Rhimes would ever allow Meredith to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
I'm delighted to have been wrong about that. But, disappointed the potential to have Meredith become closer to his family was once again a two minute exchange with Lizzie.
I hope as the season finale draws near, we will all be happy with the Shepherd baby's arrival into Shondaland. – I've stopped watching three episodes ago, and will resume when I know what Rhimes has in store for Meredith, Baby and Derek in the finale.
For the very few of you reading, hope this version of what I had hoped would happen has provided some common sense and logical explanations. None of this will ever unfold on Grey's, but, I wanted to incorporate family into Meredith and Derek's lives, rather than the implied five year absence of the Shepherd sibling relationship; so unlike Derek's view of it in season one. If you read, your comments appreciated. Warm regards, Jasmin
Heartwarming Kitchen Memories - Part 4
Meredith remained quiet as a lone tear slid down her check, and then she tensed as she felt a contraction, while her mother in law gently pushed back Meredith's hair away from her forehead.
"How bad was that?" Carolyn asked knowingly.
"I don't think," Meredith met her gaze, "they're Braxton Hicks…anymore…"
"You're probably right," Carolyn agreed, "and Derek wouldn't be happy if I don't tell him you're awake."
"Carolyn," Meredith placed her hand over her arm. "I'm scared...that…my babies…"
"It's ok to be scared," Carolyn smiled at her, and in a motherly gesture caressed her forehead, preempting Meredith from voicing her fears, and instead provided soothing and reassuring words about the normalcy of life's cycles and miracles about to happen.
"I've been there five times," Carolyn continued, "and then another fourteen with my grandchildren, and every time's been a little different, but I know," she held her rosary tightly, "and have faith that all is going to be just fine with these babies," the well-practiced mother's comforting in place, "and their mother, and if she lets me, I'd like for her to believe that I can be a mother to her too."
Meredith remained quiet, but then reached for Carolyn's hand. "You've been more a mother to me," she met her gaze, "in the last two weeks…then my mother was…"
"Sweetheart," Carolyn's teary gaze met Meredith's. "That was just a little glimpse. You've got a lot more mothering coming your way…even if my girls complain, and don't want to be compared to me," she made Meredith smile.
"They really love you," Meredith stated simply. "They all do."
"They are what matter most in my life," Carolyn squeezed her hand gently, "as Zola, and now these babies are yours, and oh Meredith, the joy they bring."
"I never knew, what it would feel like to be a mother," Meredith admitted before getting emotional, "it's…" she shook her head and wiped away the tears.
"It's the joy of blessings and tiny miracles," Carolyn repeated the often shared sentiment.
"They are," Meredith sniffled, "and before Derek, I never thought of kids."
"You were the one for him," Carolyn told her, "the only one truly meant for him."
"He's the only one for me…only he made me feel this way…"
"I know that," Carolyn said, "just like his father was the only one for me," and both women had tears in their eyes as Carolyn placed her arms around her and hugged her, and then, she gave Meredith a priceless gift; heartfelt words. "My son was very lucky… for a second chance, and you have done that for Zola…given her a family, a second family. You are a wonderful mother, Meredith."
"I didn't know…" Meredith didn't feel the need to hide the sentimental tears, "if I could be…remember, when we met…I told you I was dark and cloudy… and there's so many doubts if I could do the mothering thing."
"I think," Carolyn smiled at her genuinely, "you've become an extraordinary mother, don't ever doubt it, sweetheart."
"What's wrong?" Derek, though he'd walked in with a smile on his face, had interrupted them, and his voice now reflected concern. "Meredith…you're crying…"
"Mom…" she said it quietly, without meeting his gaze. "Thinks I'm a good Mom…"
Derek remained quiet, the memory of the day she first took Zola home, his shameful accusations and absence, never far from his mind at moments like this; hence, momentarily missed the vulnerability of the moment that led to Meredith referring to Carolyn as Mom.
Carolyn, unaware of the impact and emotional significance of her words, repeated what she'd said earlier. "I actually said she has become an extraordinary mother. She's wonderful with Zola," and she added, "and my youngest grandchildren are very lucky."
"She is a wonderful mother," Derek felt Meredith's hand reach for his.
"No brooding," Meredith squeezed gently, forcing him to meet her gaze, and he nodded, understanding each other; instinctively, descriptive of the legend of Meredith and Derek.
"Mom," Meredith said again, purposely this time, to refocus Derek's thoughts away from his, more than over and over, documented guilt of that night long ago. "How's Zola? Did you bring her? Is she in daycare?"
"No dear," Carolyn told her. "Alex surprised us by bringing Sofia and told me there would be plenty of time before the babies are born, and that you probably could use the company, before Derek drove you crazy," she smiled, having noticed her son's behavior as well, yet unaware of the reasons behind it; nor the shame he felt over his past behavior.
"Derek's more a worrier than I am," Meredith teased him.
"Speaks the over protective mother," Derek leaned in to kiss her softly, and placed a hand over hers. "How are you feeling?"
"Worried," she admitted. "What did Dr. Cameron decide?"
"He'll be here in a few minutes," Derek told her. "He was wrapping up a conference call with two colleagues and thinks we're safe to wait without inducing labor."
"But," Meredith began to say, "once the membranes rupture…Derek…it's not…"
There was a knock before her doctor walked in. "Meredith, I have a colleague," he smiled, "that flew in unexpectedly and consulted on your case and would like…"
"Oh God," Meredith squeezed Derek's hand, "it's worse than you're telling me…"
"What," Derek said, "no…oh crap…"
"Oh Crap…" Meredith looked at him incredulously, "Derek, you say that now…"
"I forgot to tell you," Derek said nervously. "I came in to tell you we have good news, and I saw you and Mom, and you were crying, and I thought you were in pain and upset, and I forgot to tell you and ask you if it was ok …if you were up to visitors…"
"Derek Christopher," Carolyn said without much patience. "Dear God, stop rambling."
Dr. Cameron chuckled. "Meredith, what he's trying to say, is that…"
"Mcbitchy," her sister in law, Nancy, walked around Dr. Cameron, "is back."
"Nancy," Carolyn reprimanded, "watch your language," though she smiled; surprised and delighted to see her daughter, "around my grandchildren."
"Meredith," Nancy walked up to her. "I'm sorry, once I heard, I couldn't stay away."
"You have a habit," Derek turned to her, "of dropping in unannounced."
"I love you too." She hugged him. "And I care."
Derek smiled, "I know you do." He'd already hugged her, in relief, when she'd walk in to Cameron's office an hour earlier, as they were trying to determine the least risks for both Meredith and the babies.
"I'm glad," Meredith said sincerely, "you're here…it's almost time…and you're an expert … I mean…not that Dr. Cameron isn't… but it's my babies…and you're their aunt…and you've had many of these cases."
"Let's get things straight," Nancy said, "this is only the second unannounced visit. Meredith knew about it when I flew out with Liz."
"I did not," Meredith laughed, actually pleased to see her. "I called Liz, not you."
"Minor details," her sister in law shrugged her off. "We couldn't very well have Lizzie, and Mom's favorite, undergo surgery without one of us being here. You're lucky," she hadn't missed a beat as she glanced at the data on the monitors. "Mom could have insisted on coming too, and thanks to a patient at thirty weeks with triplets, I only stayed long enough for the consultation."
"Nancy," Carolyn admonished her first, "Dr. Cameron, Meredith's been terribly worried, and now the three of you come in here without addressing the real concern."
"Ma," Nancy teased first. "You really are very bossy."
"Nancy," Carolyn warned with just one word.
"Mom," Derek rested his hand on his mother's shoulder, while holding Meredith's hand, and smiled at both women, reassuring. "Mer, it's good news."
"Good news," Meredith whispered, "thank God…that means…you're not inducing labor…we'll give the babies a little longer…every day counts…"
Derek smiled as he stood by her side, her hand in his, his thumb gently caressing. "We can wait, and it seems," he met his sister's gaze, "we're rather inexperienced in having babies."
"I'm not understanding," Meredith looked from him to Dr. Cameron and Nancy.
Dr. Cameron took over his role, "we knew it was unlikely you'd carry to term, and you're now at thirty six weeks and four days. We are monitoring the babies very closely, and right now there's no reason for immediate urgent concern."
"Dr. Cameron," Meredith interrupted, again, concern filled her tone, "but, don't you normally want babies born within twenty four hours after membranes rupture?"
"I've been following," he continued, "and Nancy has too, the research of a colleague at Maastritch University Medical Center, and his study does not support that theory. We were on a conference call with him earlier, and we are all confident there is no urgent need to induce labor at this time. It's not uncommon, especially with twins for the mother to experience leaking of amniotic fluid that is often treated with bed rest, often for several weeks, so at this point, we are confident that there is no harm in waiting."
"But," Meredith looked at Derek, "are you sure…there's no risk…to the babies?"
"We would not take any unnecessary risks," Cameron assured. "Derek was present during the call, and it was clear that Dr. Van der Ham and his team were very confident we are making the right decision."
"When," Meredith asked him, "how long is it safe to wait…after the membranes rupture? Does this change things…is a c-section more likely?"
"It all depends," he went on to explain in detail, and before he left the family to spend time with her, reassured her. "We are monitoring you closely, but, since both babies have settled heads down over the last week, I don't anticipate the need for that."
"I know we talked about it, and my choice to have a natural birth. But, the babies are the most important, I don't want to take any risks…if you think a c-section is needed…"
"Meredith," her doctor assured, "we have taken every possible precaution, and it got us to over 36 weeks, we are not going to do anything that would put you or the babies at risk for a single moment."
Carolyn and Nancy stayed for almost an hour more, and when it was evident there was no regularity to her contractions, and it would do her good to get some rest, they went back to Meredith's childhood home. Alex, the proud new homeowner, after Lexie and Mark had moved to their recently completed home, had purchased the house from Meredith.
"Granma," both Zola and Sofia ran to greet her. "Are my babies here?"
"Not yet, sweetie," her grandmother told her, and hugged both girls.
"Aunty Nancy," Zola exclaimed, "you come to liver my babies."
Nancy smiled indulgently. "I came to be here as soon as your babies are born. But Dr. Cameron will deliver the babies."
"Why it taking so long," Zola said with a hint of homesickness. "Granma," she walked to stand by her, and leaned into her for the expected hug. "I miss Mamma."
"She misses you too," Carolyn sat on the couch and sat the little girl on her lap. "But, we can go see her tomorrow."
"Aunty Nancy," Zola asked, "you be a mommy doctor…did you puts jelly that gots no color on Mamma belly…and see my babies inside Mamma with the camera?"
Nancy's answered all of Zola's questions with the ease and expertise only achieved as a mom and aunt to a family with fourteen grandchildren.
Zola," Nancy smiled at her young niece, "you've grown so much… you're almost as tall as Ariel, and you're going to be such a great big sister."
"Aunty Nancy," Zola giggled, "you be so silly, cause I not that big, I only gets up to Snow White. But you gots to stand on wall and we sees if you gots smaller like Granma."
"Do not," Carolyn effectively warned, "say a word," but then both women burst into laughter as the youngest Shepherd granddaughter repeated what her other cousins had also observed regarding their grandmother's loss of stature.
The rest of the evening, while Meredith and Derek waited for the birth of their children, a grandmother, and an aunt, doted on Derek's and Mark's little girls.
"Derek," Meredith spoke quietly, and then gasped at an unexpectedly painful contraction.
Derek hadn't left her side, and he tenderly caressed her forehead. "What do you need?"
Meredith spoke after the contraction. "Did you know Nancy was planning to come?"
"No."
"You'd tell me…if something was wrong?"
"Meredith," her name was a gentle caress. "Nothing is going to go wrong."
"We've thought that before."
"Well," he smiled, teased her. "That's when we were living in sin…now that we're and old married respectable couple…"
"Ass…" she laughed, and at some point was able to get some sleep, as the irregularity of the contractions continued through the following night.
Zola cried when she spoke to her mother the following morning, and Meredith insisted on seeing her briefly to reassure that she was fine, and she would be with her as soon as the babies were born. Meredith and Derek's extended family took turns keeping Zola busy.
"Derek," Meredith squeezed his hand painfully. "I need to change positions."
"I wish," Derek met her gaze, "this wasn't so hard for you."
"I don't know how your sisters and Carolyn had so many kids," she told him.
"You called her Mom," he observed, "twice yesterday… and today…."
"She said I should," Meredith smiled at him, and then, closed her eyes.
"How bad is it?"
Meredith moaned in response as he looked at the fetal monitors; she'd decided against the tocomoter, telling the doctor, and Nancy agreed, she was fairly certain she would know when she was having a contraction. Instead, they'd decided that at the appropriate time in her labor, they would likely use an internal fetal monitor.
"Can I do anything?"
"I think," she said after the contraction subsided. "You've done enough."
"Hey," he smiled at her, leaning in and kissing her softly. "You're the over achiever," he teased her, and whispered something that made her smile.
"We have so many things we can't tell our kids," she started to laugh, but then gasped at the strength of the next contraction.
"You're certain," Meredith asked a few hours later, "that everything is ok with the babies…it's been too long… Derek…since my water…"
"Yes," Derek smoothed the hair back from her forehead, "we knew labor would most likely begin without inducing…and the babies got almost another day…"
"They did," she nodded, "that's good…even if we couldn't wait longer…"
"That's very good," Derek kissed her forehead, and waited for the next contraction.
Their doctor, as well as Nancy, had explained at length that most women who have preterm premature rupture of membranes deliver within one week of their water breaking. With twins the fact that she got to thirty six weeks and five days was excellent.
"Oh God," she whimpered; the persistent pain of the last several hours of labor making it impossible to speak without moaning in discomfort.
"You're doing so well," Derek soothed.
"Derek…I know I didn't want to schedule a c-section…but now, I don't want to risk the babies going through any distress… let's not …"
"You don't need a c-section," he assured. "Everything is fine with all three of you."
In the few minutes that followed in between contractions, she was able to joke.
"I don't care if I have another scar… Derek…you don't mind the two I have now…"
"Are you kidding," he winked at her and raised an eyebrow seductively. "Connecting dots with your freckles and tiny scar lines are some of my favorite things…"
"Some of my favorite things too," she laughed.
"Besides," he teased her. "Mark offered pro-bono surgery if he was godfather."
"You ass," she slapped his arm playfully; the last of the lighthearted teasing before their children were born, as her labor progressed at a much faster pace than expected, albeit intensely painful for the following five hours, and as the time for delivery grew closer she was moved to an operating room.
"Meredith," Derek said, "one more push… that's it…"
"Oh…God," she moaned, exhausted. "I can't…"
"You can…" he told her, "look at me… Meredith…look at me…one more push…"
"I have…" she bit her lip, "I have…to push…"
"That's it," Derek held her hand, and continued to encourage her, and as he felt the strength of her grip, he knew within seconds they'd welcome a baby.
"Head is crowning," Dr. Cameron said. "Almost there…"
"Meredith," Derek's voice was filled with emotion. "One of our baby's is almost here…"
"Baby's head is out," Dr. Cameron chuckled, "and no doubt who this one takes after."
"What's wrong?" Meredith panicked when she didn't hear the baby cry as the doctor suctioned the mouth and nose. "Derek…go… what's wrong with the baby," and at that instant, as Derek did as she asked, an indignant wail filled the walls of the operating room where mom and dad's gaze first met and later realized that theirs was more than that just a one night stand.
"Baby is ok," Meredith cried and turned to Derek, "the baby is ok…"
Derek only nodded as his eyes filled with tears as doctors immediately examined the baby, and waited anxiously for what seemed an eternity.
"Time to meet mom and dad," the doctor said within a couple of minutes, and the baby was placed in his arms, the cord still connected; following certain medical advice that it benefited babies not to cut the umbilical cord immediately.
"Meredith," Derek held the tiny infant, in awe, "we have another little girl."
"A girl," Meredith cried as Derek walked to place the still crying baby in her arms.
"Mommy's," Derek whispered, "littlest luv bug."
"She is," Meredith smiled through the tears, "and she's perfect…and…"
"She's beautiful," Derek, had his arm around them both, kissing them both, "like you."
"She has your hair," Meredith smiled, and felt his lips brush hers tenderly.
"Welcome little one," Derek said reverently. "We love you so much."
"My littlest luv bug," Meredith cried as she repeated Derek's endearment, and she examined her daughter carefully and tenderly, "we are so happy you're here…and perfect lungs," she teased as she smiled at Derek. "I'm your Mamma," she spoke in that tone he'd only heard for Zola, and now to their newborn, "little one, and you just want to be cuddled," she kissed her and snuggled her, "don't you," and Meredith cried again as her daughter responded to her voice and was soothed to quiet whispers while her parents marveled at the tiny miracle in their arms.
Baby girl Shepherd was handed over to the neonatal team much too quickly for her parents, but both knew its importance, and the five minute Apgar score of nine was an immense relief as her sibling was being carefully monitored, and their mother's intense contractions would soon welcome another Shepherd baby.
"I thought," Meredith said through clenched teeth, "the second baby was supposed to be born within minutes," and she grasped Derek's hand tightly as the contraction peaked.
"Mer," Derek attempted to comfort her after the contraction ebbed. "It's only been about fifteen minutes since the baby was delivered…"
Meredith's glare was threatening. Then she added, "I'll remind you of that," she hissed, "when it's only about fifteen weeks before we have sex."
"What," Derek's reaction had the delivery team nearby chuckling, "why?"
"Oh God," Meredith's response was interrupted by the next contraction.
"Meredith," Dr. Cameron said calmly, "it's only going to be a few more minutes. The baby's head is crowning," and neither of the parents noticed the doctor's amused smile as he shook his head.
"Derek," Meredith said, "what if I jinxed this baby…and…"
He kissed her. "We're about to have another healthy perfect baby. Trust me."
"Trust you," she smiled weakly, both recalling that exact moment in their history.
"Hey," he smiled. Their smile; that Mcdreamy look that could make her forget just about anything; except maybe the anticipated next contraction. "We've just increased the Shepherd grandchildren to 16… 11 girls and counting…before it's seventeen."
"One more push," Dr. Cameron spoke to her, and he was right. Unlike the first twin, the baby was handed over to the neonatal team before Meredith or Derek.
"Oh God… what's wrong… Derek…"
"Nothing's wrong," Dr. Cameron told her, "this baby is a little smaller and we're not taking any chances."
"Why…" Meredith's anguish was mingled with tears, "what aren't you telling us…"
"Dr. Grey," the neonatal attending called out to her, just before the baby, who the doctor had already determined was in good shape, let out a cry of protest at all the prodding and the sudden loss of the warmth of the womb. "Baby is just fine, and ready to meet you."
Derek's voice broke, completely overwhelmed by the moment; his mother was so right, was all he could think, and gave thanks, for they had been blessed, two tiny miracles indeed; and Zola…three treasured, priceless blessings. "Mom gets to hold the baby first this time."
Meredith cried as the baby, like the first born, still attached to the umbilical cord was placed on her chest. "Welcome little one," she repeated the same words Derek had said to their daughter less than thirty minutes before. "We love you so much."
"Tiny miracles," Derek said, as his hand lay protectively over their child, and leaned in to kiss Meredith. "I love you."
"I love you too," Meredith said. "So much."
"Derek," she said, biting her lip, "we're awful parents already…we have a baby…and don't even know if it's a boy or a girl."
The baby fussed as she began her inspection, objecting to the newest prodding, and Meredith would swear the baby looked right at her and pouted before crying again.
"Derek," Meredith's tears were mingled with her smile, "our baby…" their eyes met, joy and wonderment all wrapped into a myriad of overwhelming emotions for both parents as they discovered the newborn's gender.
"Derek," she said with a smile filled with joy, "our baby is bald…"
** Mayo Clinic Health Website provided information quoted on the premature rupture of membranes. Other sources were used for skin-to-skin contact at birth. **