Damn, you are ANNOYING! Chapter 4: Just make Sakura … swear, a naruto fanfic

Chapter 4

Step 3: Just make Sakura … swear

Naruto Uzumaki was just eating, more like preparing to eat (thank God for the good food, think about Sakura twice, swear Sai at least a dozen times … and so on) a big plate of hot, steamy, juicy (be careful … I'm still talking about food) RAMEN, when someone knocked at his door. Of course he was annoyed beyond his limit, which in Naruto's case is lower than in other person's cases. The boy left his ramen untouched (Question: Wow … is that even possible … Answer: In reality … no, but this is a fan fiction) and proceeded toward the door slowly, watching with the corner of his eye the abandoned dish of delicious food. By opening the door, he made a final effort … and reached his limit; this was as far as he could get from a steamy plate of ramen. Sai was on the other side wearing on the face the usual fake smile.

"Bastard" muttered Naruto "I was enjoying my ramen and you totally ruined it"

"I read in a book that …" but Sai couldn't finish because Naruto impolitely cut him off.

"I don't care!" and he slammed the door in his friend's face.

Sai knocked again … Naruto opened the door again and told him

"If I hear another thing about what you were reading in your stupid books … I'll send you on Mars with this" he pointed at his fist "SO, What do you want?"

Sai was staring at his hand like it was a new found god, or worse … a big plate of ramen "You know man … you creep me out" the unusually white guy didn't answer, but angled his head, like he was studying the new object

"Enough!" yelled Naruto "I read in a book that when someone is staring at you …"

Sai rapidly raised his head and asked, as a conditional reflex, or more like the irony deeply engraved in the boy's genetic code "Do you know how to read?"

"Don't be a smart ass!" screamed the blonde ninja

"No … I'm just curious"

"Curious, my ass!"

Sai smirked, actually putting some feelings in the facial expression "For someone who's talking to a fellow guy … you use awfully lot the word ass"

Naruto gave up (two in a day … firs he lets his ramen uneaten, and now this! It's unreal) "Ok … I'll cut it short …" but he was unable to finish, because Sai asked looking a little puzzled

"It's even possible?"

When Naruto was about to answer, Sakura appeared behind Sai. She was wearing her usual ninja outfit, but her hair was tied at the back of her head in a ponytail. Naruto thought that she was looking incredibly sexy, but he said nothing, fearing a castration. He forgot for a moment the question Sai had just asked, but a pest … remains a pest.

"Stop ogling ugly and answer me"

"The pest" thought Naruto

"Answer what?" asked the girl looking from one to another

"Naruto said that he will cut it short" stated Sai careful not to forget any detail "And I asked if it's possible to cut it short … now that I think more what I really meant was: if it is possible to cut it shorter than it already is"

"What should be cut shorter?" asked a voice from behind that was owned by Yamato

"I can only guess" said his companion

"I don't understand!" screamed Naruto.

First Sai is interrupting his delicious meal; than he's making statements about short and cut shorter, and now the whole team is there (he didn't mind Sakura) looking strangely at him … what the hell was going on. The world was about to end or something?

Sai cleared the cloud from his teammates' brain when he said "Your don't have a dick, which is crystal clear with those pants on, so how are you suppose to cut something that is nonexistent" It was Sai's bad luck that Naruto took it personally, as he always did, and jumped on him, carrying punches and fists in his teammate's face.

There could be heard sounds coming from the battle, some of them reminding the passerby-s of another act … more pleasant.

When finally, the two boys stopped (not because they wanted to, but because Sakura stepped in, screaming and fuming all over the place), their sensei (Kakashi) briefed them about their new mission. It was a normal watch-over mission, nothing special. They were suppose to be bodyguards for a big movie star, but the problem, as they will find out later, was not the fact that he was a movie star … nooo

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At exactly 3 o'clock Team Kakashi was at the gates, ready for another mission, for a new adventure. The problem … you will see.

"Where the hell is Kakashi-sensei?" yelled Naruto making strange signs with his hands.

As you guessed, the number-one-in-laziness-ninja Hatale Kakashi was for the n-th time … LATE. His team, formed from Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki, Sai and Yamato, was waiting for him. At the beginning it was okay. Kakashi was never late for more than one hour, especially on a B mission or higher (and this was a B mission), but now it was 5 o clock, and 2 hours of waiting, and Kakahi's team was beyond annoyed.

"I don't know where is Sempai, but we were suppose to meet with out client 10 minutes ago and without out team leader we cannot do that" stated simply Yamato. Even if he was trying to hide it, he was upset by the fact that his favorite sempai was later than usual; it was easy to guess his feelings, because when he was in a distress his eyes were bigger and scarier than usual and he was making stripes on the floor (in this case on the ground).

Sakura was watching her sensei with the corner of her eye, studying his reactions and recognizing them from some other older situations. For example when Kakashi was late at Anko's wedding and of course when he was late at one of Tsunde's parties. The last one was a total disaster … it was a good thing Kakashi was fast on his toes or he would be six feet under talking with the corpse-eating-worms.

"We know that Kakashi-sensei is always late, but I must confess … this lateness takes the cake" this was Sai's opinion, shared with his companions in a sweet voice that was predicting a huge blown up … which coming from Sai was a sign of alarm and a signal for 'Run away … as far as you can'. "I have never waited so much for someone"

"Not even for Danzo?" joked Naruto (leave for Naruto to be amusing even when all his friends are annoyed beyond limit)

"No" said darkly Sai "Not even for Danzo!"

"Wow … That makes Kakashi an important person for you … well … kind of. You were not in love with Danzo, but he was your superior … wasn't he?" asked the blonde boy.

"Naruto … As you can see … I am angry. So please don't upset me more than I already am!" Sakura chuckled slightly, but Sai caught her "Why are you laughing, Ugly?"

Sakura smirked at the boy. She was more than ready to verbally attack Sai "I'm laughing Sai, because I can, because I want. Do you have a problem with that, Asshole?"

"I'm going to asshole you Sakura, until you can't recognize which is the face and which is the ass."

"Uuu … You should know that I have a gorgeous ass, so this change could be a benefic one" said Sakura while she was supporting her arm on a tree branch. Her right hand was scratching the opposite hip and her eyes were smirking along with her mouth. Even so, she was unlucky enough to be struck by Sai's answer and lose the smile that was flowering on her face.

"Yeah … I guess you are right. Even your ass, which, by the way, isn't as hot as you think, is better than your ugly, bitchy face!"

The pink haired teenager tried to stay still even if her right fist wasn't now scratching her hip …more like squeezing and destroying her hip bone "Asshole" said Sakura between her teeth "You would better shut up or you'll find your head in your ass."

"Guess you are so ugly that you're afraid I'll be more beautiful than you … even with my head in my ass" stated Sai as impartially as he could … even if he was keeping the amusement away from his lips, there could be seen the happy feeling in his eyes.

"You are … an ass … a total, full of shit ass" screamed the girl at Sai, charging her fist into the air.

Sai looked nonchalantly at her, studying her reactions, but making no sign that he understood the danger he was in. And as a bonus he added, "I may be an ass … but you are a total, full of shit bitchy whore"

For a first Sakura didn't charge at Sai, or screamed obscenities at him … just looked at him like she was looking at someone so below her level that even the simple act of looking was beyond vulgar. Than she turned her head around, finding something very interesting into a leaf that was just falling on the ground.

"Sakura?" asked shyly Yamato "Are you ok?"

Of course he remember their last encounter, but he was trying to forget that unpleasant event. Even so … he was 100% sure he wouldn't forget those legs as long as he lived. Maybe Sakura wasn't blessed, like Hinata, with a big pair of boobs, or like Ino, with large hips but surely she had the greatest pair of legs in all Fire … he could say that in the whole world, but he wasn't the one to exaggerate.

But now Sakura was acting strange, and it was his job as a sensei to know what was happening to her "Sakura? Are you still in there?"

"Yes … yes" answered the girl so fast that only after ten seconds Yamato realized that she actually said yes two times, not only one.

"What? Why have you said yes two times?"

"I answered your two questions" said Sakura robotically.

"Okay" added Yamao, still looking strangely at the girl. She was acting as unusual as it could get. Ok … rewind that. There is never such a thing as a limit to strangeness.

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After another 20 minutes

"Hello guys" said Kakashi "Sorry I'm late. I was helping this old lady get down from a tree …" when he saw his teammates murder looks he thought it would be a good thing to add "I kind of … mix them up" his team's reaction was unchanged "The excuses I mean"

"Kakashi-sensei!" screamed Naruto at his team leader "You are so fucking late that you even surpassed … yourself"

"And Naruto, you just surpassed your own dumbness" answered Kakashi as violently as the blonde boy "So …" he regained his usual lazy composure and his one-eye-smile "What mission are we doing today"

"You told us this morning Sempai all there was to know about the mission… and you told us to be here at 3 o clock and now it's half past 5. We were suppose to meet our client 30 minutes ago" Kakashi shifter from one leg to another and finally answered Yamato's statement.

"Ohh … Now I remember. That star is our client, isn't he?" He scratched he back of his head "I guess we kind of made him wait"

"So now that we know what the mission is, could we please go to the rendezvous point?" asked Sai looking from one sensei to the other in a rhythmic motion.

"Yeah!" screamed Naruto.

Sakura rolled her eyes at Naruto's antiques. She was more than used to the bickering formed between the boys and to the sudden changes in their opinions about the other one. But she was still upset by the things Sai told her, those insults splashed at her at a high speed.

"Ok. Let's go. What are we waiting for?" asked The Copy Nin. He was just trying to piss them of, at least more that they already were. Naruto yelled something, maybe it was a swear, maybe not … Sai shot him a look of pure hate and annoyance, Yamato frowned deeper then usual and Sakura … nothing; she had no reaction at all, like she didn't hear him at all. "What happened here?"

"What?" asked Naruto

"Sakura looks down …" stated Kakashi. Sakura pretended she didn't hear him, but Naruto smirked, more than ready to blame Sai, or at least make Sai look bad in front of their sensei.

"Sai was a jerk!"

"Again?" asked Kakashi

"Ugly started it" Sai was telling their friends his excuse without any emotion on his face.

"No she didn't!" screamed Naruto … defending his only female partner, and let's not forget his only crush. "He's lying" he added pointing at Sai and looking at Kakashi, both at the same time.

"Yes … she did …"

"No she didn't … you annoying, homosexual, unemotional freak"

"Yes, she did … you stupid, hyperactive, dickless idiot"

"I'm not stupid … you are the stupid one"

"I'm going to …"

"COULD YOU FUCKING STOP! MY HEAD WILL FUCKING EXPLODE IF YOU KEEP ON GOING ON!" screamed Sakura at the two boys.

Sai eyed the girl than turned around so he could face the source of his annoyance (this time it wasn't Naruto) "What the fuck is wrong with you! You act like a total bitch!"

It was a bad move because Sakura was in a very bad mood … and on top of that, Sai's way of putting things clearly on the table wasn't helping at all "Aren't I a bitch all the time!"

"Not such a bitch … and not all the time"

"Ohh … I see now. They are different kinds and grades of bitch-ness" said the girl, smirked at nothing in particular. Sai was really about to see a side of Sakura that nobody liked to see; and he was about to see her form the front row … maybe from the stage "If you really want me to be a bitch, I'll be, don't worry."

"I thought you are a bitch all the time" stated calmly Sai, as calmly as he could in the state of super, hyper annoyance he was in.

"I guess I wasn't specific enough. I'm going to raise the grade of bitch-ness to the maximum level … and I'm not going to make the change gradually … you would like that, wouldn't you … I'm going to become the queen of the bitches." After she dusted her clothing and took a slip from her water bottle she added, "That was refreshing, don't you think?" she turned around looking at Yamato straight in the eye.

The older man swallowed, but answered her question with a small bow of the head, not trusting his voice enough. Naruto was growing roots in the spot Sakura's outburst caught him and Kakashi … looked struck by a lightening, a lightening he couldn't break in half with his famous Chidori (I don't know if there are any Y).

"And Sai …" said Sakura, not waiting for the white's boy answer "As an advice from a … what the hell I'm to you … fuck yourself, maybe you'll have more muscles on your hands"

Now … Sakura could say that she shocked for life: the Kyuubi Naruto Uzumaki, the only ink user in Konoha, Sai, the only wood user in the world, Yamato, and the famous Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi. Sakura Haruto could now die, because she scared to death the male part from the well-known Team 7.

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"Hello" said in a happy voice a tall man, with a shiny light yellow hair and honey like eyes. He looked like a model, beautiful, but no brain, or so they thought. "My name is George Ubico … and I guess I'm your client". Now he was smirking at them, showing his clean, white, perfect shaped teeth. He had that kind of smile that you show when you take a picture, forced, ugly and false.

"Hello" responded Kakashi. It was his job as the team leader to greet their client and brief him about the mission details and at what extent they were suppose to guard him (the difference between C, B and A missions) "I'm Hatake Kakashi, the team leader. He's Yamato" he said pointing at the man "He's the captain of the team" the man meowed, or this was the first impression "… aaa … and they are my students: Sai, Sakura and Naruto" he nominated all of them with the tip of his gloved finger. He left Naruto the last on purpose, so he could mock him later when they would be alone, or …

"Why did you leave me the last! I'm the main character here!" screamed the blonde … he was making a scene again, with their client present. This was not a good introduction for the young movie star, but to Kakashi's surprise their protégé was smiling with his mouth from side to side like he was watching two children play … maybe it was still a chance for retribution or …

"Shut up, small dick" said quickly Sai

… Or … not

"Who do you make small dick? … You homosexual freak!"

"Obviously YOU"

"WHAT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU ASSHOLE!"

"And I didn't make you a small dick … you are a small dick from the day you were born"

"Now you are officially dead!"

…. This was not helping them … at all

Kakashi made a step forward and caught Naruto around the shoulders, forcing him backwards and as far away from Sai as possible. These two were just too dangerous to be kept in the same place; they were like the magnets of the same type: total rejection when they are close.

"Let me go! LET ME GO! Grrr …" growled Naruto at Sai, that was faring away.

"Stop it, Naruto", said calmly Kakashi, but when this strategy failed he just jerked the boy around and added as calm as before but with more force and with a hint of warning in his voice "I said … stop it, Naruto. We are on mission. Act like an adult for once and shut up."

"But Sai was a …"

"Just shut up!" raised the tone Kakashi strong enough to silence the most talkative human been on earth. "And you …" he pointed at Sai "… are just as bad as him!" when Sai rolled his eyes, the older man continued "Stop with this mocking or I'll drop you off from the mission … I promise you."

First Sakura, now Kakashi … world was going down.

"Don't worry" smiled George at his protectors "I know I ordered the best ninja. It's not necessary to exercise your power in front of me Kakashi-san"

"It is necessary … and I'm not doing it for show"

"Ok" agreed slowly the movie star, still unsure.

"Ok. Now that we solved that, we should add that the mission involves protecting you from robbers, dangerous animals and ninjas until you arrive in Thomiy, a city from Mist. We will accompany you in Mist, but our job ends when you are safe in your home, guarded by other ninjas"

George looked straight in Kakashi's eyes during his speech and after he finished, the man waited a couple of seconds until he was sure it was the end, and said with a normal voice, like he was expressing an opinion ('Tomorrow will rain') "Wow … You are hot"

… (Sakura)

… (Yamato)

… (Naurto)

… (Sai)

… (Kakashi)

"What?" asked George "Did I say something wrong?"

…

"You just told us that Kakshi-sensei is hot" this was Naruto, the only one capable to form a phrase at that precise embarrassing moment.

"Yes" it was the simplest thing in the world "And?"

"You are a guy" again Naruto and his logic will crumble all the walls "Kakashi-sensei is a guy" that was quite obvious "You just said that he is hot" … "That means you are gay?"

Their companion smiled, a fake one again and agreed with a simple bow of his head. "Kind of…"

While Naruto, Yamato and Kakashi strained under the pressure of the new information, Sakura sighted in relief. It was a good thing she wasn't suppose to fear their client, and she was protected from the usual harassment she received on some missions. Especially those dirty old men that thought they were still in their prime and capable of handling a spunky teenage girl. Life was good when she was traveling with a gay man … the girl smiled and said between short burst of laughter.

"I'm saved"

"Not really" smirked their blonde client earning five questioning glares. Sakura turned around facing George and asking him though suggestive looks what he meant, "I run both ways"

Only one word could escape Sakura's mouth

"Fuck"

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Well … I said I'll update at the half of October, but since I didn't begin university yet I thought it would be a better thing to write now when I have time.

… I'm still in Canada and still afraid to speak English … I know, just great. And the problem is that people here speak very fast and I'm used to that British English … slow rhythm, profound accent … you know.

Anyway I must confess that at this point I have no idea what to write next … I kept a surprise up my sleeve about this George, but that's all … about the narrative … no idea. And the big problem is the title …

Bye, bye. Review if you have the time … and please if you find a mistake, in spelling, in context, in phrasing tell me, but don't come … and tell me that I suck at everything. I was about to give up writing because a … I don't how to call him/her … came and anonymously reviewed with a strange name … something Cowell. I shouldn't add what he told me. Anyway the only thing that kept me going on were the reviews I received 'till that point and the thought that 'the ones that said my story is good weren't all crazy'