AN: Snape's letter is last, you'll see why and is also the longest. In my mind he influenced not only the outcome of the war, but Harry himself the most. Plus he needs the most information. Anyways surprise at the end and hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4

Snape

Snape awoke to the faint sound of his door clicking open almost silently. His head was still clouded with sleep, but his sense were on alert as her tried to arouse the rest of his body to do the same. He strained to hear the intruded move, but it seemed the intruder was smarted then that. They moved with all the stealth of a cat. It wasn't until he heard a faint rustling of paper that he could pinpoint where they were exactly.

They were making their way to his bedroom. He closed his eyes pretending to sleep so he would have the element of surprise. He only cracked his eyes open just slightly when he felt the person coming around to his side of the bed.

He heard the rustle of paper again and tried desperately in his mind to think of what it could be…. Before he could come to any sort of conclusion however he heard a small faint sob that could have been made by a mouse. He wanted to turn and see who it was, see who might be trying to harm him, but they didn't seem to be making any move to do so and if he didn't have perfect timing he could make a very bad mistake and get killed.

So he waited. He heard another sob and then for the first time the rustling of clothes. He could feel the arm stretch over to him and he wanted to wince away from it, but the action didn't feel hostile, so he let it happen, his own curiosity the only thing allowing this to happen.

He was not disappointed as the hand merely brushed his hair back from his face. He felt a warm body lean over and was surprised to feel a light brushing of lips against his cheek. It was so feather light he thought he might be dreaming this whole thing.

But the fingertips had been so warm and kiss so affectionate. He stilled his body and waited to see what else would happen, would they try and wake him… talk with him… explain themselves? Instead he heard the rustle of clothes once more before he heard his door click open and then closed as they left him.

He shot up instantly and turned to his nightstand where he had last heard the rustle of paper. He saw what he wanted and snatched up the parchment instantly.

His name was written on the neatly folded paper in scrawling messy writing that he recognized instantly. He almost started as he realized Harry had been the one that had just been in his rooms… the one that had kiss him so tenderly.

He tore open the paper and began reading, his eyes hungrily absorbing every untidy word.

Snape,

I wish I could write your first name, but after so many years of addressing you as Snape it seems wrong, especially since until this moment you wouldn't have known of my deep affections for you.

I can imagine the look of scandalized distrust on your face. You're saying to yourself that there is no way that a foolish naïve little whelp like me could ever love you.

But that's just it… I love you. And it doesn't have to make sense to you because it is very clear in my mind.

You Snape are the bravest, smartest, most sexy, infuriating, snarkiest git I have ever had the deepest pleasure of knowing.

I don't regret a lot of things about my life. I did all that was required of my destiny. I made friends and made myself a family of those people. I had adventures and loved. But I do still have regrets. And my biggest one is that I never gave you a chance. I brushed you off and despised you for so long. And even when I could no longer feel those things I didn't make the effort to make you at least my friend.

When I saw your memories… how deeply you loved my mother… enough to do anything for her… even protect the ungrateful son of James Potter I knew I loved you.

How could I not love the man who had saved me more times then you could count, how could I not love the man that gave up everything just to make sure I succeeded.

You're a great man and I hope that anyone who tells you otherwise receives a very disturbing potion from you. Because, although you are an insufferably snarky git, you are better then all of them.

I know you asked Poppy how you survived Nagini. I know that you have tried every trick you posses to get the information from her… but I have my tricks too Snape. I guarded Poppy's mind for her from your sneaky mind games Snape… all of them.

But now I don't see any reason to keep the truth from you. See I'm the one that saved you. I told Hermione and Ron to go back and let me have a few moments with alone with your 'body' and they thought I just need a few moments to grieve. But instead I felt for any sign that you still had a breath inside of you. I had come prepared. I had procured anti-venom for Nagini and I set you straight. It's much more complicated then this explanation but you deserve to know that I'm the one who brought you back I suppose.

I don't know if you hate me for it or thank me. That's why I didn't let Poppy tell you. I hope you're happy though. I want you to be happy. For so long you've been living for me, to keep me alive. And I was returning the favor. I know it will never be enough I owe you so much more then I could ever hope to repay.

And don't shake your head at me like that isn't true because you and I both know that is a lie.

Now that I've made a fool of myself sounding like some love sick helpless romance novel it's time to address the real issues of the letter in your hands.

There are some things you need to know about me before this letter continues any further. It might keep you from thinking of me as a spoiled ungrateful little twerp like I'm sure you would otherwise. I know for a fact that you won't know these things about me based on the memories you gave to me.

I've had a rough life Snape I'm not trying to say that it was worse than anyone else's, only that what I'm ultimately going to tell you is justified.

Dumbledore put me on my aunt Petunia's doorstep the night my parents died. And as you know from personal experience she loathes magic. So having a magical sister and nephew made her immediately hate me and my mother. She pretended we didn't exist.

You can imagine what her reaction was when she realized that the thing she loathed most in the world was now on her doorstep.

She had to care for me. She was living a personal nightmare and she let me know it. The moment I was able to hold a broom I was sweeping and mopping floors. The moment I was tall enough to reach the counters I was dong dishes and cooking all of the meals. I was no more than a house elf and they let me know it.

If I didn't complete my 'chores' I was beaten or starved or both. I was locked in my room until they got tired of doing the chores I usually did. …Did I mention my room was the cupboard under the stairs… no well now I have.

All I wanted was for them to be kind to me just a little, for my aunt to tell me that she didn't really think I was a freak like her and her family called me every time I was in the room.

She hated me so much she lied to me about how my parents died…told me it was a drunken car crash.

It wasn't until I was eleven I knew the truth about anything. And even then I didn't know half of what I should have. I just wanted to feel normal but even in this new world I was different… freakish still.

I didn't want fame or money even. I would have given up all the fame, money, fans, all of it for one day back with my parents.

I hope this changes some of the views you've had of me… if only so I get an ounce of the respect I hold for you.

This is goodbye. You worked for so long to make sure I lived. But I know from you that Dumbledore told you, you were only keeping me alive so I could die at the right moment. So in retrospect this isn't betraying all of your hard work.

See this letter isn't just a goodbye, I'm moving away hoping to get away from fame and fortune… this is good bye in that I'm going to go finish what was started. I died the day of the last battle as I'm sure you know… you read the newspaper. Dumbledore came to me and told me that I could go on if I wanted… or I could finish what I started and kill Voldie myself. You also know my choice I'm sure.

And I'm definitely not going to say it was the wrong one. I'm glad I'm the one that killed him. It needed to be.

But since that day I haven't been able to stop thinking about all the people waiting for me. All of the love on the other side just waiting for me to come and see them again. I'm loved here…I know that.

But it's not the same. And all the things I wish for my life aren't possible and all of the things I wanted don't' seem possible for the hero.

There aren't many choices left for me. Everything is decided for me… always. But not this time. This is my decision it's the only one that will ever be mine wholly and I'm taking it.

Goodbye Snape.

I love you very much. I hope you have a full and happy life, the life you should have been living all of these years. I want that for you. I hope you do what I'm asking instead of being a grump the rest of your life just to spite me.

Love always,

Harry

P.S. I'm delivering your letter last because I know you'll be the first to wake up. In theory being the first to read the letter. I left one for everyone important. Anyways I'm trying to say that don't try and run after me… you most likely won't make it.

When the letter was finished he could only stare at the stirring, mind boggling letter. It took seconds for it to sink in and then like a flash of lighting he was out of bed and pulling on robes. He was out of his door running down the halls within two minutes of finishing the letter. He had to find Harry. Even if he still wasn't sure about his feeling of the boy he knew he couldn't let him kill himself.

He didn't know where the boy would go but he had a feeling. He couldn't explain it he just knew where to go.

Okay kidlets it's your turn. I want you to vote in my poll whether or not Sev makes it in time. I want you to really think about it though. I've made Harry a very desperately sad person who only wants to see his family. But if he lives he might get Severus. Also know however that if you let him live I am not going to write a follow up story with them getting together just one more chapter and this is done.

Originally it was never even going to be a choice Harry was going to die and that was that.

Up to all of you… hope you enjoy.

And please let me know if the poll is working I can't see it for soem reason!