Wow, I'm honored that so many of you have reviewed this. I've even seen that some of you have put this on your favorite stories lists. Thank you all so much.

Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto or Silence of the Lambs. When you get to that reference, believe me, you'll know it.

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Sasuke felt like hitting something. He was just really pissed off. The party was supposed to start 15 minutes ago, but the only people here were Sakura, Kakashi, Iruka, Gai and him. God, he did not want to be here.

"Hey everybody, check out my package! C'mon, you know you want to look at it." Gai said.

"No, Gai, none of us want to look at your junk." Kakashi muttered.

"But I want everyone to see it! Why else would I wear this? You just don't want to look because you know mine is bigger."

Kakashi sighed and dropped his pants, shutting Gai up really fast. Iruka just looked away.

"What the score now? I belive I just evened it out to 50-50." Kakashi said smugly

Sakura punched both of the Jonin.

"YOU IDIOTS! I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE THAT!"

Sasuke promptly left.

Naruto didn't know how he did it, but he'd managed to elude Hinata for a while. He needed a great hiding spot though. Where could he hide? That crazy girl had X-ray vision. Maybe if he could go somewhere she would never look...but where? He spotted Sasuke walking down the street.

"Sasuke! Thank god!"

"What do you want? And where are your pants?"

"I'll explain later, just hide me!"

"Umm, no."

"Please! I'll do anything!"

Sasuke got an evil look in his eye.

"Anything?"

"Err..."

A cry rang through the afternoon.

"NARUTO-KUN!"

"Yes! Anything! For the love of god, just hide me!"

Sasuke grinned and motioned for Naruto to follow him. The two took off to the Uchiha manor.

A few minutes later, Hinata showed up at the door. She politely knocked, and Sasuke opened the door. She was assaulted by a horrid combination of stenches.

"Hi Sasuke. Is Naruto here? I thought I smelt him..."

"No, he's not here. Your nose must be off."

"What are you cooking?" Hinata asked, wrinkling her nose.

"Sulfur, raw sulfur."

"Oh...Can I ask why?"

"No, no you can't. I'm very busy right now, so you'll have to look else where for him."

"...All right, but if you see him, tell him I want him."

"I'll do that."

Hinata ran off again, and Sasuke closed the door. Naruto popped up from behind the couch.

"Wow, I never thought that having a large supply of sulfur would ever come in handy. Now, what do I owe you?"

Sasuke broke into the manic grin again, and showed Naruto to the basement.

Lee and Neji were walking to the ramen shop, and Lee remembered something.

"Oh yes Neji, lady Hinata was acting quite strangely today. Do you know why that is?"

Neji pondered for a moment.

"Well she could have been hit on the head. Whenever a member of the Hyuuga clan is hit on the forehead, their personality changes completely. It's the fatal flaw of the Hyuugas."

"So if I were to hit you in the head right now, you wouldn't be such a fatalist bastard?"

"Well, yes, I suppo..wait, what?"

In Neji's moment of confusion, Lee punched him in the forehead. It was a knockout! Neji's body slid across the ground for a few feet, and came to a stop.

"My friend Neji?" Lee asked, poking him with a stick. "Are you alright?"

Neji stirred, and looked up at Lee. He smiled a huge smile.

Hinata sat on a bench, distraught. Her sweetie had escaped! She didn't know how, she was using the Byakugan. Maybe she should check with Sasuke again, it was the last place she smelled him. While getting up, she noticed a costume store across the street, and smiled. She had a plan...

Naruto shivered at the bottom of a pit. He was now shirtless as well, and it was kinda damp down here. Sasuke was at the top, and was lowering a bottle down to him.

"It puts the lotion on its skin." He said, still lowering the bottle.

"Sasuke, you are seriously screwed in the head! I just thought you would want me to carry you in a chair or something for a while, but this is just f'd up!"

"IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN!" Sasuke yelled, throwing another bottle of skin cream at Naruto.

"That's it, I'm outta here. At least Hinata isn't going to skin me." Naruto complained, before poofing off.

"Damn, now I'll never finish my people coat..." Sasuke said, plopping down.

Naruto wandered the streets, getting some odd looks from people. He really wanted some pants, or a shirt. Heck, clothes in general would be nice. At least he still had his underwear. He rounded a corner when a shot rang out, and something whizzed by his ear. He looked up to see Hinata at the end of the street with a tranquilizer gun and the classic hunter get-up. The pith helmet, the tan jacket and shorts, everything.

"I've got you now, Naruto-kun!" She shouted, reloading her gun.

"Damn it!" Naruto shouted, running in the opposite direction. Why why why? What was wrong with her?

"Come back, my love!" She yelled, running after him, trying to aim.

Kiba had finished wrapping the present, and was heading to the ramen shop. He was a little late, but he had been, distracted, by a lot of things. He still hadn't solved this Hinata mystery, and that whole Shino Ino thing had freaked him out. Then poor Kiba had to see another oddity for the day. Lee was hopping down main street, holding a plate of cookies. This wouldn't have been odd, but Neji was right behind him, skipping and holding cookies, and worst of all, wearing one of those hideous jump suits. It even looked like he was wearing some fake eyebrows. Kiba dropped his gift, and rubbed his eyes. Nope, he wasn't hallucinating. He had to talk to someone about this. Sasuke seemed sane enough. Kiba decided to go to his place.

Naruto was still peeling across town, and tranqs would fly by him every once in a while. He would never lose her now... Sasuke's offer of being made into a human coat didn't seem that bad right now.

"Naruto, why won't you love me?" Hinata shouted, reloading again. "I just want to have sex! Sweet, sweet sex!"

"God damn it, I don't want to sleep with you! You're terrifying!"

"You shouldn't be afraid of love!"

"When its chasing me with a gun I should!"

Itachi and Kisame walked down the street, an awkward silence between them.

"So." Itachi said. "Did you see Gilmore girls last night?"

"You know I don't watch that show." Kisame retorted. "And besides, Shark week was on Discovery."

"How many times are you going to watch that?" Itachi asked. "Say, isn't that the kyuubi kid?"

Naruto ran smack into Kisame, falling backwards.

"Ow! Get out of my way!" Naruto yelled. "Oh, it's you guys."

"Today is the day we capture you!" Kisame said, drawing Samehada.

"Look you two, I'm really not in the mood. I'm kinda busy saving my life..."

"But you should be afraid of us..." Itachi whined.

"Yeah sure...just not today, okay? Can't you go bug Gaara or something?"

There was a sudden thwip sound, and Naruto twitched and pulled a pink dart out of his neck.

"Shit..." he mumbled, and slumped over. Hinata ran up and squeezed her knocked out love interest.

"Hey, girl." Itachi said.

Hinata ignored him and kept on hugging, joyous that she had finally caught her one true love!

"HEY!"

Hinata looked up to see the two akatsuki members glaring at her.

"He is ours to take." Itachi said sternly. "Hand him over."

"Never! I'll never let him go! SHUGOHAKKE ROKUJUYON SHO!" Hinata screamed, unleashing her devastating attack on Itachi. Normally, this attack is pretty powerful, but when fueled by a raging Hinata, it is enough to blow an S class criminal clear out of Konoha.

"AHHHH!" Itachi yelled as he was practically incinerated by the awesome power of the attack. He lay on the ground twitching and burning. Kisame wasn't sure if these twitches meant he was still alive or if he was dead and those were just after death muscle spasms. Either way he decided this would be a good time to leave.

Hinata went back to hugging her unconscious love, and smiled. Time to get back to her house!

Meanwhile, Kiba knocked on Sasuke's door. Sasuke peeked out of the door.

"Yes?"

"Hi Sasuke. I was just wondering if you know what's going on around here today. Everyone is acting so weird..."

"Why don't you come on in, I'll explain to you indoors..."

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That does it for chapter 4! This was originally only going to be 4 chapters, but I've been inspired! And just to clarify a few things, I like Kiba. I realize that I make a lot of fun of him or kill him in nearly all my fics, but I do find him an enjoyable character! Someday, I'll do a good fic about him. And I find Shino saying Penis hilarious, and you should too. And also, sorry Neji fans. Please review!