When I got home my mom was already waiting by a taxi out front. I grabbed my suitcases, tucking my new poster and crumpled handful of phone numbers in the outside pocket, and toss them into the taxi. With out another glance at the house, we head out.
The airport was as crowded as they usually are, all the lines moving much slower than they ought to be. Even when we got to the terminal we had to wait for freaking ever to board the fucking plane. Thankfully the flight itself didn't feel too long, and after picking up our luggage, my mom grabbed a cab to the apartment complex on the outer edge of South Park.
The place was bare and lifeless. A two bedroom hole in the wall with terrible lighting. I set my suitcases down in my tiny new room with a sigh.
"Is everything ok poopsie-doodle?" my mom asked as she peeked in. I rolled my eyes.
"Mom we don't even have any furniture! This sucks." I huffed as I crossed my arms.
"I'm sorry hon, but until the moving truck makes it here with the rest of our stuff we're just going to have to make do with what we have. Tell you what, why don't I go down to the store and make you some powdered doughnut pancake surprise!" she asked almost excitedly.
"Mom, I haven't had that in years." I rolled my eyes. It did sound good, but suddenly Keith's words came to mind. ...something about not having snacks because I'm totally hot now... Yeah I think that's how that went. I sighed.
"I think I'm just going to go for a walk." I said, surprising even me. I guess I took those walks to town for granted.
"Sure hun." she replied absently as she walked back to her room. Walking out the front door and running down the steps, I breathed in the fresh air deeply. My legs still felt cramped up from the flight, and stretching them just felt too good. I walked for a long time until I approached Stark's Pond. It was smaller than I remembered, but it still brought on a nostalgic peace. The full moon glittered in the water's reflection, the chilled breeze sweeping through me. I pulled my red jacket around me tighter; can't believe I forgot how cold it is here. I looked up, noticing a group on the other side of the pond. While it was nearly too dark to see who they were, their cigarette cherries glowed powerfully. I began walking towards them, hoping to see a familiar face, even if it just turned out to be those faggy goth kids. As I got closer however, I noticed an orange hoodie on the kid closest to me.
"Kinny?" I asked, cocking my head to the side slightly. He looked up at me while taking a drag of his cigarette.
"Who's this douch?" the kid next to him asked. God, only one person could sound so nasally and dumb.
"Ey! Craig's way more of a douch than I am you asshole!"
"Cartman?" Kenny asked, standing in front of me.
"In the flesh. What are you doing hanging out with Craig and.. Is that Bebe?" I gave a disgusted look.
"Uh, well, these are my stoner friends." he replied lamely. I looked him over. He was about half a foot shorter than me, his orange hood hung loosely, covering his face in shadow. Blond hair stuck out from the edges, it must be rather long.
"Stoner friends. Right. So where's Stan and Kahl?" I shoved my hand in my pocket, willing my face not to blush. He stares at me for a minute before turning back to Craig and Bebe.
"I'm gonna walk with Cartman a bit, I'll see you guys tomorrow?" he asked them. They nodded, waving him off, and the two of us began walking back the way I came.
"Cartman, you've been gone for four years, things have changed." he frowned up at me. I returned the look.
"like how?" I asked. He sighed.
"Well, I guess we'll start with Kyle... His mom sent him to this summer camp thing a few years back, a Jewish thing." he paused for a minute before continuing.
"He came back at the end of summer, and he was completely different; he wouldn't talk to any of us, or anyone really. For a while he even missed a bunch of school. So Stan and I went to try to snap him out of it, only his mom wouldn't let us talk to him. I guess he renounced his faith and told her to fuck off. Anyways, long story short, without the two of you, Stan and I just grew apart. I hang out with these guys, and Stan hangs out with the jocks." he shrugged.
"Hang on, so none of you guys talk anymore?" I asked frowning. He shook his head.
"We just don't have anything in common. Stan's all into sports an spending time with Wendy, and Kyle's all brooding and self-isolating, and I'm hanging out here." he lit up another cigarette.
"Damn dude. Wait, if this started after he went to that camp, did you check it out?" I asked, trying to mask my concern. Kenny nodded.
"Of course. After getting sent away from his house it's the first thing we did. But it was a dead end. No one even remembered him. So then we went to Ike, but he couldn't do anything except tell us what was going on. Kyle just sits in his room listening to depressing music and screaming."
"Screaming?" I asked in shock. He nodded.
"He's a screamo-an emo that listens to sceam-"
"I know what a screamo is Kenny." I snapped before sighing. It sounded strange, and it was hard to imagine.
"So.. Kyle's an emo, Stan's a jock, and your a stoner..." I mumbled as I began feeling like my plan to seduce Kyle was slowly falling apart.
"Yep. What about you? What are you doing back?" he asks as we cut through the middle school parking lot.
"Just moved back in. I don't start school until Monday though." I shrugged.
"Huh. Finally nag your mom enough to leave Cali?" he smirked. I nodded, mostly lost in my own thoughts. We walked quietly for a while until I began to formulate a plan.
"Hm, so I guess we should start with Stan, right?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Start what?" he looked up at me startled.
"What do you mean what? What are we talking about? We're getting the band back together." I replied in a condescending tone.
"Look, Cartman, I think it's great that you're back, but you can't just undo all the distance that's gotten between all of us." I laughed.
"You're so gay Kenny. Look, we'll start with Stan. He may have grown into a jock asshole, but he's a hippy-fag deep down. He'll help us. We just need to appeal to his big faggy heart." I explained. Kenny frowned as he flicked his cigarette.
"I don't know man, things are quiet, but our groups' all work for us." he lights up a new cigarette.
"Seriously dude, I know you're immortal, but that shit's giving me a headache." I growled as I waved his smoke from my face. He gaped at me a minute.
"What did you just say?" he looked almost frozen.
"I said your smoke's giving me a headache so knock it off." he jogged up to me.
"No, not that, about me." he pulled his hood down and looked up at me with hopeful blue eyes.
"I... Said your immortal?" I looked around awkwardly.
"You know about that?" he grabbed my arm nearly desperately.
"Yeah, Kenny, it's kind of hard to forget how you use to die all the time." I scoffed as I pulled my arm away.
"I still die all the time! But no one ever remembers! How long have you known?" I rolled my eyes at him.
"I don't know, always? Look, can we get back to talking about the plan? Not everything's about you." I glared at him, but he just looked shocked and confused.
"Ok, yeah. I'm on board." he sighed. I grinned at him.
"Ok, you know where the palace apartments are?" he nodded.
"Good. Meet me there after school and we'll go convince Stan. After that the real work begins..."