AN: I am in awe of the response to this story. Seriously you guys, I am just in awe of you. I'm glad you're liking the story and that you'll continue to do so. I'm sure you have noticed I have responded to your reviews (at least I hope I have managed to do so, if not, I'm really really sorry) and yes, that is something I do because I like it when authors respond to me, and it made me appreciate the stories I was reading. So I learned to respond in kind to those who read my work, so that it would hopefully make you appreciate this story you're reading.

Here is the new chapter as promised. It feels a little less fluid against the previous chapter, mainly because when I was about to save the changes I made, FF logged me out so when I logged back in, everything was lost. I did my best to remember the changes I made, and I think I got them all. Hopefully. But I hope you'll like it all the same.

With all that I am, I wish you love,
Az

Chapter Summary: "It's like being a kid in a candy store. And there was a lot of free candy."

Book I

Chapter III - Crêpes and Silky Lilly

Sunday, 11th July 2004, 9.45 P.M.
Brighton Pier, Brighton

"What do you want?"

"Mmm, surprise me."

"Two chocolate banana crêpes then."

Don't ask me how. I'm still asking myself how this girl managed to convince me to get on a train to go down to Brighton, just to get some crêpes.


An hour ago (back in London)

The waitress had just taken our plates, and we're waiting for the dessert menu.

This date is going so well. God, I don't want to say goodbye yet. Come on brain, think, what can we do to make this date go longer?

Pretend to have a heart attack?

No. I can't act to save my life. Ironically speaking.

Start talking about my collection of stamps?

Hell no. I want to keep her around, not drive her away.

Handcuff our wrists together?

No. Too soon for that.

Maybe...

"We should go to Brighton."

"Huh, what?"

Yes, I'm so smooth. Why don't I just go ahead and drool on her hand while I'm at it.

"Aw come on. Are you telling me you don't want to go?"

My brain finally process the question she asked me, "Well no. But it just came completely out of left field."

"Not really. I mean, we're waiting for our dessert menus, right?"

I'm slowly nodding, as if I'm getting where she's going with this.

I'm not.

But she continues anyway.

"It just hit me that we should just go down to Brighton."

"And yet you're still not making it any clearer."

Now she's mock-glaring at me.

Could she get any cuter?

"I mean we should go down to Brighton and have dessert there. You said before, that the crêpes there are better than the ones here."

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack baby."

"But why?"

There is a brief pause as she slightly hesitates in her answer, biting her bottom lip as a slow blush rises on her cheeks.

"I just, didn't want to say goodbye just yet."

There are no words to describe how this girl has blown me away. It's like she read my mind.

My mind that is currently saying, "For god's sake, what are you waiting for? Just stop thinking and just GO. You goon."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, we'll go."

She grins in response, and signals for the bill. Before I know it, we're out of there, hand in hand, in a taxi on the way to London Victoria.

Present Time

Despite my reservations, I have missed Brighton. I attended an all-girls school for my college years, here in Brighton. I told Miley this over dinner while we were getting to know each other. She must have noticed that I missed being here, even if I didn't actually mention it.

God, I want to kiss her.

For being so thoughtful. So spontaneous.

The fact that I can't stop staring at her pouty, pink lips might be a factor too.

I look around me and I smile widely. There's just something about Brighton that has always made me feel more free than I have ever felt for most of my life. Maybe it's the sea air that I'm breathing in. Maybe it's the ocean that I can see stretching so far into the unknown that it makes all of my troubles seem insignificant. Maybe it was because it was here that I discovered who I truly am.

But there are those reasons that I have avoided coming back.

"Hey Lilly!"

Like that one.

"Look who's here!"

And that one.

"Lilly! Where have you been?"

Remember back when I said I had a few flings back in college? Well, here are flings 1, 2 and 3, though in no actual particular order of how or when they were... flung.

Lord, help me.

I look over at Miley, hoping that she'll see the apology written all over my face, as the three girls approach us. Three girls looking at me, with barely disguised hunger in their eyes. Like they're ready pounce on me right now.

But she's not looking at me. She's watching them corner me.

"Michelle, Liz and Emma. What are you three ladies doing here?"

"Well duh, we come here every night. You know that."

Boy, do I ever.

"Yeah, how come we don't see you around any more, Lilly. It's been too long. We have missed you." Oh god, Liz is pouting.

Miley's pout is way sexier.

"I'm sorry. I've just been busy. You know, with work and everything."

"Not too busy to be hanging around with... Who's this?" Emma points to Miley who is standing closer to me now.

"Miles, this is Michelle, Elizabeth and Emma. Ladies, this is Miley. And she is my date. Be nice."

"Date? You date? Silky Lilly dates?"

Yes, thank you for being so nice. Time to blow this popsicle stand, I think.

"Yes, I date. And if you don't mind, we're just going to go now. Come on Miles."

I take her hand, sliding away from them, and lead her away from the pack. She's not pulling away, but she's still not looking at me. And as I look back to make sure they're not following us, all three of them were giving me the "Call me" gesture.

Women.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Lilly, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay. We only just met tonight, and already you've met three of my past, whatevers."

"Three of them?"

"Well, yeah."

"I thought it was just the one."

Huh. I thought I tasted foot in my mouth.

God, now she's going to leave, thinking I'm one giant slut. Just when everything was going so well. Just when I think that this could be...

"Lilly, it's okay. It's not like we were together when you were with them. It's okay."

"Say what?!"

"It was just a shock, y'know? It was definitely something."

"Something, bad?"

"No. Just, something."

Call me paranoid but "something" doesn't exactly strike as very reassuring to me. And I can't help but plead my case.

"Look Miley, I'm not ashamed of the things I did. One night stands and all. I was young, wild, and completely care-free. Plus, hello, gay and living in Brighton? It's like being a kid in a candy store. And there was a lot of free candy. I mean, they were practically throwing themselves at m-..."

"Lilly."

"Right right, sorry. I mean, yeah it was good. It was very good. Until it just wasn't, y'know? It stopped being good when I couldn't feel good. When I couldn't feel anything. And I knew. I just knew that I wanted more than one night. I'm not like that any more. I haven't been like that in a long time."

"Okay."

"Okay? Okay? How are you okay with this? Other girls would usually leave as soon as they hear 'Silky Lilly'."

"Well I'm still here, Lilly. You say that it's not you any more, and I believe you. I trust you."

Trust? She trusts me?

"Lilly, just take it on faith."

I shake my head in disbelief because I can't wrap my head around this.

"You are so different than the rest."

"I'll take that as a good thing."

"Yes, it is."

A moment of silence passes between us as we look over the pier. I guess you could say that it is a huge thing. How could she be so cool with everything? Didn't even take more than a couple of blinks and she was fine with it. She didn't even think the worst. And she trusts me. Just like that. Nobody has ever done that with me. Not so easily.

I should have known she'd be different.

She's too good to be true.

Please don't let me screw this up.

Miley tilts her head to the side, facing me, "Come on."

"Where?"

"Trust me?"

I look down to see her raised hand, palm up, waiting for me to take it.

And I don't hesitate.

"Yes."