Chapter Four:
Ground Rules
"Is she dead?" Agnes asked while crawling up on the massive crocodile couch and eyeing Ady with innocent curiosity.
"I don't know…poke her with something." Edith responded while absently grabbing at the mace Gru had leaning up against the wall.
"Leave that alone Edith." Margo said sternly. "She's not dead…I think. Hey, are you all right?" She asked while shaking Ady's shoulder a little. After their father had left the woman had walked numbly into the living room and had sat down on the couch. She hadn't moved or blinked in a while. Her left eye occasionally flinched.
Finally, her eyes focused on the eldest girl when she addressed her, then they moved to the faces of the other two. The youngest smiled brightly at her when she looked at her.
"Yay, your awake. Do you want to hold my unicorn?" She asked while holding the massive thing out to her. "It makes me feel better when I'm sad." Ady stared at it unconsciously, finally she blinked…it was hard to stay in paralysis when I giant pink fluffy unicorn was staring at you.
"Do you want some water or something?" Margo asked with a hint of apprehension. What had her father done to this woman?
"Uhh…yeah…" Ady said after a moment. "…water…"
"Okay." Margo stood. "Follow me." Ady stood and followed Margo as she headed towards the kitchen. While in the hall, she gloomily eyed the décor again. It really was very distressing. There were wanted posters and newspaper clippings talking about various criminal acts as well as other sinister images. There were a variety of ancient weapons on stands and handing from the wall. A giant Venus flytrap was in the entryway into the living room, as was what looked like an iron maiden, although it was shut and locked. Actually, it might have been cool if the guy hadn't turned out to be that guy. When she had been a kid her neighbor had had a lot of cool old stuff from when he was in the war…but that had been for display, not for recreation.
When they got to the kitchen, Ady saw that it really wasn't much better. There were a lot of odd instruments hanging on the wall…the sort of instruments you wouldn't expect to see in a kitchen…unless it was the kitchen of Hannibal Lecter. Margo went up to the sink and poured her a glass of water while the woman sat on one of the stools.
"Here." Margo said while offering the glass.
"Why…why is there a chainsaw in here?" Ady asked while pointing at it.
"It's for chainsawing stuff." Edith said while her and Agnes headed into the kitchen after them. Ady had taken the glass of water from Margo thankfully. After taking a few sips she focused once more on the girls. They looked normal enough and they certainly didn't look much like the psychopath that had forced her to baby-sit them. In fact between the three of them they had three different hair colors and two different eye colors.
A thought occurred to her sluggishly, while her mind tried to catch up with the situation.
"You guys aren't like…on milk cartons somewhere are you?" Margo raised her eyebrow.
"Uh no…we live here."
"And that guy…he's…your…uh."
"He's our daddy…" Agnes said happily.
Ady eyed her for a moment with her eyebrows raised.
"So this isn't a hostage situation…" The girls looked at her blankly. Finally Margo shook her head slowly.
"No…"
"Ten dollars an hour." Ady sat back against the counter. "Unbelievable…I should have listened to Dillon." She said more or less to herself. Well she was stuck there now. She thought briefly about calling the police, then had a vision of them trying to come up the driveway and remembered the rock. That…probably wouldn't work…plus who knew what else the guy had around the yard for security if he used an electric fence to keep a dog out. The best thing she could so was just watch the man's kids and hope he let her leave when he came back. Then she could call the cops after she went home and maybe get a cat scan or at least a lot of alcohol.
"This is boring…" Edith said, snapping her out of her thoughts. "I'm going to go play with the atomizer." She added as she headed towards the doorway.
"What's an atomizer?" Ady asked suspiciously while giving Margo a sideways look.
"It disintegrates things." Ady stared blankly ahead for a moment before setting her drink down and hurrying after Edith.
"Hey, hold on kid." She said as she stepped into the girl's path. Edith glared at her. "If I have to be here then we're going to have to have some rules and rule one is no disintegrating things."
"Your not the boss of me."
"Look, as long I'm here there isn't going to be any disintegrating or electrocuting or anything. I'm your babysitter…so, yeah that makes me the boss." She said.
"Dad put all of that stuff downstairs anyways Edith." Margo said from behind Edith.
"Well then what am I supposed to do?" Edith said after sticking her tongue out at Ady.
"Let's try something that's not upsetting." Ady said.
"We could color." Agnes said cheerfully.
"Okay…coloring…great." The young woman said while running her hand nervously through her red hair. Edith sighed heavily.
"This is going to be a long day." She said while Agnes ran off to get her coloring books and crayons. The girl pushed past Ady into the living room.
"No kidding." Ady muttered to herself.
XXX
Gru stepped out of his tank and looked up at the massive estate. He double-checked the directions, but really there was no need as there was a huge P on the front gate. Gru stepped forward and pressed the small button beside the structure. There was a brief buzzing sound as a camera adjusted itself and rotated towards him. After a moment the gate swung open and he stepped inside.
Miss Molyneux's front yard was a curious sight. To anyone else it would probably be worrying, but Gru looked on with approval. There were a lot of very odd and very dangerous looking sculptures made out of marble and glass and depicting various criminals and villains from times past. Most of them were of women. In the center of the path was a large ornate fountain depicting an outstretched hand made of stone with a large globe cupped in it. There was also a garden on both sides with plants that put the Venus flytrap in Gru's living room to shame. He paused briefly to admire them but was interrupted by that odd throat clearing sound again.
One of Polina's huge henchmen was standing in the threshold of the manor.
"I was just admiring thee garden. Ees that a peetcher plant from mount veectoria? How did she get that?" The man eyed him briefly before opening his mouth to display his lack of a tongue. "Ah, never mind." He said before following the man into the house.
"Gru, a pleasure, as always." Polina said as he was escorted into the foyer. She stretched her hand out. Gru eyed it for a moment before clearing his throat and kissing it awkwardly.
"Follow me, I have much to show you." She said while taking his arm and heading towards a huge set of stairs. In her heels, Polina was almost two inches taller than him. The heels themselves were very long and sharp. They probably could have stabbed right through the leather of a man's shoe.
"Did you give those plans to your scientist?" She asked as they headed down a hall lined with large hand painted portraits.
"Yes, he was very excited…he has already come up weeth some designs ove his own." Gru said while eyeing the pictures.
"I look forward to seeing zem. I have heard great things of your doctor Nefario."
"It would seem you hear a lot ove things. These are a nice touch, ees it your lineage?" He asked while indicating the portraits.
"Zey are husbands." She said smugly.
"What? All of dem?" He said while turning briefly to look back on the portraits they had passed.
"Some of zem are lineage…I sometimes lose track" Polina said. She gave Gru a dreadful smile. "I did tell you, I have power over a certain type of man."
"Apparently…" He said nervously as they walked into a massive room with a high ceiling. At the top was a gigantic chandelier. There were a couple of leather couches in the center on large fur rugs. It was probable that nearly two dozen species had been sacrificed for the purpose of furnishing the room. There were also massive curtains hanging from the windows. At one end was a fireplace the height of two men. Overtop it was a portrait of a woman in nobleman's dress. Underneath was the inscription; Portrait of Countess Elizabeth Bathory.
"Please, 'ave a seat." Polina said while lounging on one of the couches. Gru sat down across from her. His blue eyes were immediately drawn to the chandelier.
"I see you are admiring my candelabrum. I am a frequenter of ze theatre. I had a friend acquire it for me…it was ze very one used in ze first performance of Ze Phantom of Ze Opera."
"That ees very unsettling up dere." Gru said. She ignored this.
"Doug?" She called to her henchman, who stepped into the room, eclipsing the doorway as he did.
"Get me and Mr. Gru some Champaign. Ze good stuff." She smiled at Gru. "I have an excellent wine cellar, remind me to show you before you go today."
"I have a pretty impressive collection of wines myself…" He said while crossing his leg and resting his slender hands on his knees.
"Really, what is your finest brew?"
"Well, I 'ave a sealed bottle of Chateau Margaux."
"You have good taste. You are in for a treat wiz zis wine. It was made in a remote vineyard in France. Ze grapes are crushed by gypsy orphans. Their feet are compressed from birth so zey are very little and get get ze nectar very fine." Gru raised his eyebrows.
"Er…that is…impressive. Perhaps we should go into your plan a leetle more."
"I am still waiting for a report from my contact in China, zen we can get down to business…until zen perhaps you can tell me about your moon heist…I have been very eager to hear about it." She said while resting her chin in her finely painted hand and smiling at him.
XXX
Meanwhile, at Gru's house, Ady had crawled up on top of the Crocodile couch, on account of the furry thing with razor sharp teeth that was trying to chew her leg off.
"What the hell is this thing?" She said as Kyle snapped at her. They had been coloring when it lumbered into the room and then, after setting its beady eyes on her, lunged at her with spittle dripping from its jowls.
"Its just Kyle." Edith said amusedly. Up until that point she had been bored stiff.
"He's our dog." Margo responded. "Down Kyle, she's a guest." She said while grabbing him.
"That's a dog?" Ady said while Margo pulled him away from the couch.
"Kind of…we're not sure what species…he's a little…nervous around strangers. Hold on, I'll put him in dad's room." She said while picking him up. Ady watched, mystified as the monster calmed down a little in her grip. After the eldest girl left she came down from the couch slowly and straightened out her hoodie with a sigh.
She felt someone tugging on her pant leg and looked down at Agnes who was gazing up at her with wide eyes.
"You stepped on my crayons." Ady looked down at the crayon halves on the ground. In her desperation to get away from the 'dog' she had crushed most of them.
"Oh…sorry…" She said. Agnes picked one up and looked at it sadly.
"Aw this is my favorite color." She said while picking up the sky blue crayon, her eyes tearing up a little.
"No no, don't cry. Hold on." She grabbed at her bag lying on the floor by the couch and searched through it briefly until she found what she was looking for.
"Look, I've got markers." She said while pulling out a small handful of prisma color markers. She'd had them in her bag for a month or so. She used to take them to her old job to mark her books. "Here's a blue one. You can have them." Agnes took the markers and eyed them curiously.
"Can we watch tv?" Edith asked as Ady started cleaning up the crayon remnants.
"Sure, I guess…" Ady shoved the crayon remnants in her bag without thinking and looked around the room briefly before spotting the remote. There were a lot of buttons, most of them without symbols; the ones that actually had writing on them were foreign to her. She eyed it briefly and then looked at the tv. She shrugged and decided to try a button at random. The screen flashed on revealing a large elderly man in goggles. Behind him were various weapons and tubes. He was holding a screwdriver and was working on a foreign mechanism with a glowing tube in it. Ady raised her eyebrow and eyed the remote again.
"What's this?" When she spoke the man looked up and jumped slightly.
"Hey! Who are you? Only Gru is allowed to use this channel." Ady looked up again quickly. The old man appeared to be looking right at her.
"You…are you talking to me?" Ady asked.
"Well I don't see anyone else now do I." He said irately.
"Hi uncle Nefario." Agnes said while waving her hand. Ady looked sideways at her.
"Girls, you know you're not supposed to be playing with the video phone."
"We didn't do it, it was her." Edith said while pointing at Ady. Ady blinked and then gave Edith an aggravated look. In the mean time Margo had returned. She eyed the screen.
"Well I don't care who did it, turn it off and keep her away from it."
"Sorry uncle Nefario, it won't happen again." Margo said while she stretched her hand out to Ady who pointed at the screen and gave Margo a questioning look before handing her the remote. Margo pushed the button and the screen went dark.
"We're not supposed to touch that." She said.
"Who the hell was that guy?"
"That's Uncle Nefario."
"Uncle Nefario…"
"He works for dad."
"Of course he does." Ady said. "Okay, no TV." She said while eyeing her cell phone to check on the time. "He said Nine or ten didn't he…it's only six o' clock…unbelievable."
"I'm hungry." Edith said.
"Okay…when do you guys usually eat dinner?"
"Whenever dad makes it." Margo said with a shrug.
"Oh yeah? He cooks too? What does he make it out of, the people that accidentally walk into your fence?" The girls looked at her, puzzled and it occurred to Ady that this was probably not the way you were supposed to talk to children.
"…can we have pizza?" Edith asked after a moment.
"No…nothing that requires someone coming to the door." Ady said. "Come on, there has to be something here that I can make." She said while heading back toward the kitchen. When they got there Edith and Agnes climbed up into the booth and eyed Ady as she went to the fridge. Margo followed her.
Ady paused when she was about to open the fridge and eyed the girls.
"There's nothing horrible in here is there?"
"It's a fridge." Edith said scathingly. Ady rasied her eyebrow.
"Just making sure." She said before opening it. The contents were fairly standard if not a bit extravagant. After eying the contents Ady bit her lip. "Oh boy…I really need to learn how to cook. What are these? Ostrich feet? Yuck" She said while removing a package and raising her brow. She eyed Margo who shrugged.
"There's a cook book in the top cabinet." She said while pointing. Ady opened it after a moment of hesitation and grabbed at a couple of books. The first one was a large leather-bound volume with gold writing.
"Undetectable poisons in gourmet meals." She read. She flinched a little before setting it aside. "I'm guessing this isn't the one you were talking about." She opened up the second book and read through the table of contents briefly. "I don't think this is going to help me." She searched through the fridge again and grabbed at something.
"Duck eggs? Can you make them like regular eggs?" Margo shrugged. Ady opened the carton briefly and eyed them. "I think I can do something with this." She said
XXX
"This looks gross." Edith said while eyeing the egg. Ady had found some coffee mugs by an espresso machine that looked like it could have doubled as a torture device and had cracked the duck eggs into them, she'd thrown the mugs into the microwave afterwards for a couple minutes each.
"I know, they taste better then they look." She said. "I used to do this all the time when I was a kid." Edith poked at hers.
"Why is it so spongy?"
"It's just like scrambled eggs. Only made in the microwave…in cups. Uh…I'll be right back. I left my bag in the other room." She said before heading towards the living room.
Edith stuck her fork in the egg and pulled it out. The whole thing came out still shaped like the mug. She eyed Margo while indicating the egg bitterly.
"Edith stop it, it's not that bad." Margo said after taking a few bites. "At least its better then the food at Miss Hatties." She added. Edith let the egg drop back into the cup with a squish.
"How often do you think dad is going to be gone?" She asked. Margo frowned.
"I don't know…" She said a little uneasily.
"I hope it's not too often. I don't want to have cup eggs every night."
"I like her." Agnes said happily while she picked at her own eggs.
"You like everyone Agnes." Edith said while resting her chin in her palm.
XXX
A couple hours later Margo informed Ady that 8:00 was usually their bedtime, much to Edith's annoyance. After they got into their pjs, the young woman followed them up to their room by way of a set of dangerous looking spiral stairs and past a large family tree filled with glaring people and a framed image of various kinds of poison oak. When they got into the room she eyed it with a frown as the girls climbed into their beds.
Apart from the giant jar of worrying liquid and the paintings which Ady recognized, with some dismay as works of art which she vaguely remembered were reported stolen on the news a few years prior the room looked like a pretty standard kids room. Well, apart from the beds themselves.
"Are those…are those bombs?" She asked while leaning over to get a better look. Edith grinned.
"Yeah, if I shake mine enough it might blow up!" She said while grabbing the sides and shaking it vigorously. Ady grabbed her arms.
"Please don't do that." She said.
"She's just kidding. Dad deactivated them. They aren't going to blow up." Margo said while adjusting her pillow. Edith stuck her tongue out at her older sister.
"Will you read us a story? Daddy usually reads us a story." Agnes asked. Ady opened her mouth to say something sarcastic but bit her comment back at the last moment and instead eyed the tiny bookshelf that the little girl was pointing to. After a moment she pulled a battered and slightly homemade book from it and eyed it curiously. It was only for a second however, because the blonde girl snatched it out of her hand.
"Not that one!" She said while tucking it in her blanket. Ady looked at her, surprised.
"Only dad can read us that one." Margo said when Ady gave her a questioning look.
"Okay…no problem." She said bewilderedly while pulling out another book.
XXX
After the girls went to bed Ady spent the rest of the evening sitting on the couch and periodically eyeing her cell phone. She figured that if she stayed put the chances of running into something unpleasant were less likely. She had considered doing the dishes but had thought better of it. It was only a small evil but she got some pleasure out of the thought of that psycho having to scrape egg remnants out of his coffee mugs.
When she heard the door unlock her stomach did a somersault. She took a deep breath and stood up, hoping that she looked less uneasy then she felt. When Gru entered the house he eyed her with indifference.
"Well you are still in one pece, that is more than I expected." He said. Ady perceived, with some relief that whatever apprehension she had been feeling seemed to dissipate when she saw him and was instead replaced with anger. Anger was good…she could deal with anger. She headed over to the door and confronted the Russian man angrily.
"Turn off your damn fence and let me go." She said through her teeth. Gru leaned against the still open door with an evil grin and crossed his arms.
"I turned it off when I left. Otherwise I would not have gotten my mail." Ady stared at him, for a moment overcome with a dizzying hatred. Finally, without a word she stepped out of the door into the night air and headed towards her car.
"Hold on." She stopped, her eye flickering madly for a second as Gru stepped back outside reaching into his coat. She turned slowly and watched with some bemusement as he pulled out a silver money clip with a G on it and counted out a few bills. He handed her the money. She took it numbly and stared at it as if she expected for it to turn into a scorpion or something.
"If anything happened to my gurls while you were here you will be very sorry otherwise I will be expecting you tomorrow at de same time." Gru said while turning. Ady stared at his back for a moment. She could feel something snapping inside her head.
"You have got to be kidding me." She said. He turned curiously. "I'm not coming back here. I don't care if you shoot me or freeze me or whatever the hell it is you do. I spent the whole day thinking that if I left your yard I'd be vaporized! I will never set foot on your property again!" She said her voice getting exponentially louder as she spoke.
"Technically…I said you would be electrocuted…not vaporized…there ees a difference." Gru said.
"I don't care! You…you leave me alone!" She said angrily. Gru sighed and approached her again, folding his hands behind his back as he did. She recoiled a little.
"Well, I could force you too…" He said while shrugging his broad shoulders. "But I am very tired right now, so how about another dollar an hour?" Ady stared at him in disbelief.
"What…does that…no…why…!" She stammered angrily as the color rose to her face. Normally being flushed embarrassed her because it made her freckles stand out like the pox but she was not the least bit concerned with this at the moment. "I don't care if you offer me a hundred dollars an hour!" She said finally when her mind allowed her to form a full sentence.
"A hundred dollars would be completely reediculous. I would be willing to go up to twelve dollars…or if you like, I could turn thee fence back on…" Ady gaped at him for a few minutes before sighing wearily. At the moment, what she wanted above all else was to leave for the evening, go home, get a drink and go to bed. She straightened and glared at him.
"Fifteen dollars an hour…"
"Fifteen…?"
"And…" She interrupted vehemently. "We are going to lay some ground rules."
"You are really in no position to be bargaining with me." He said.
"Rule number one…" She said, ignoring him. "You will not point any guns at me. Rule number two: you will lock that thing…that 'dog' up before I get here" She said, while making the finger quotes angrily. "And rule number three: You will not call me at my house, you will not visit my house…in fact I never ever EVER want to see you outside of this business arrangement!"
"I will give you thirteen dollars an hour."
"Fine. But the rules are not negotiable." She said. Gru raised his eyebrow.
"All right, it is still easier than finding another babysitter." He said as he put his hand out. Ady eyed it and then glared at him once more before turning back towards her car. Gru lowered his hand and shook his head before he headed back towards the house. Negotiating with a babysitter. Maybe Perkins was right…maybe he was going soft. But then…he really really didn't want to call his mom.
XXX
Hurray, chapter four is done! Hopefully it turned out all right.
Smilethourheartisachin: Thank you, I'm glad you like it. And thank you for the well wishes. I am feeling much better, although I'll be getting a root canal in two days so we shall see how long that lasts. Hopefully the update was satisfactory. : )
I think I got everyone else in personal replies, but if not thank you so much for the reviews. Have a good day!
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