CHAPTER 4 – More Questions and More Answers

Note:

In my universe, the Oracles are still alive, or alive again, whatever you prefer. I mean, they are supposed to be all powerful. How could they have been killed? Even if that was possible, how come there were no new Oracles? So here, there are Oracles.

Wesley was sitting in Angel's office. His head was throbbing painfully. Fred had been kind enough to bring him some aspirin, but that hadn't helped much. The bump on his head had the size of a scone. At least that's how big it felt. And he was tense, very tense, which wasn't really helpful either. He was waiting for Angel, had been waiting for hours now.

When Wesley had gone to hand Connor over to Holtz, he had had second thoughts. He had almost reached the empty warehouse, where he was supposed to meet Holtz, when he decided to turn around and find another way to keep Connor safe. But Holtz had already spotted him. Wesley had tried to talk his way out of it, but Holtz had not been the least interested in talking at all. He had simply knocked Wesley out cold and taken Connor. Once Wesley had regained consciousness, he had gone back to the hotel to confess what he had done. He'd told them where he had last seen Holtz and Angel and Gunn had been off. But not before Angel had threatened to find Wesley and kill him, if he wouldn't be there when they got back. So here he was, hours later, still waiting and facing an uncertain future. He had heard some commotion in the lobby a while ago, but still didn't know what was going on. Everybody seemed to have forgotten about him. He hoped Angel had, too, but knew that was rather unlikely.

When Angel finally came back, he had Connor on his arm and went straight to the phone, not even looking at Wesley once. He didn't even sit down when he started to dial. While the phone rang on the other side, Angel gave Wesley a murderous glance. He looked even angrier than he had a few hours ago, if that was even possible.

"Giles? …Yeah, it's Angel. … Yes, everything is fine, more or less. … Listen, Buffy asked me to call you. I am not sure if the others have told you or even noticed, but Buffy is here in LA. She had a prophetic dream and came here last night to help me out with something. She got a little hurt in the process. … No, don't worry. But she hurt her shoulder and I don't think she should be driving like that. I'd like her to stay at least until tomorrow or the day after. … No, no, it's just a precaution. … She's sleeping right now. We all had a long sleepless night. But she asked me to tell you everything is fine. … If you could tell everyone where she is and that she's okay. … Sure, I'll tell her. … Yes, I'll let you know."

Angel hung up and glared at Wesley again. "Spill it, Wesley, if you want to get out of here alive."

"Buffy is here? Is she okay? What happened? Did she get Connor back from Holtz?"

"My patience is wearing thin, Wesley. I will ask the questions. You took my son. You kidnapped him. You handed him to my sworn enemy," Angel yelled. "I am giving you this one chance. What were you thinking?"

The yelling caused Connor to start fussing and squirming. Angel gently rocked him. "Ssh, I wasn't yelling at you."

"Maybe he-" Wesley started.

"You have lost every right to give me any advice about my son!" Angel growled.

Connor began to cry.

"Ssh, ssh, Connor, it's alright." Angel continued rocking him. "I'm sorry. Everything is okay." The harder Angel tried to calm Connor down, the harder Connor cried. Finally, Angel gave up and went in search of Fred or Cordelia. He was glad when he found Fred first. He couldn't take much more arguing, blaming or yelling right now.

"Fred, could you take Connor? I have to talk to Wesley."

"Sure."

"He should have been fast asleep by now. He was basically awake the whole night."

"You were screaming at Wesley. No wonder Connor started to cry," Fred stated matter-of-factly.

"Um… yes… I guess.," Angel admitted.

"Go talk to Wesley then, I bet it has been very productive so far. I'll take Connor so you can scream at Wesley some more - undisturbed," Fred said mockingly and walked away.

Angel sighed and went back to his office. This day was somehow getting worse and worse. He took his time closing the door and sat down on the edge of the desk, making a conscious effort to calm down a bit before confronting Wesley again. "Talk!"

"Is Buffy alright?" Wesley asked again.

"If you really want to know, no, she is not alright. She almost got killed trying to undo what you did. Are you happy now?"

Wesley looked guiltily at the floor.

Angel came over to where Wesley was sitting, placing his hands on the armrests, effectively trapping Wesley in his chair. With his face just inches away from Wesley's, Angel said, "I could have lost the two most important people to me in one night. Because of you!"

"I… I didn't mean… I…" Wesley stammered, not daring to look at Angel.

"Last chance, Wesley."

"I found this prophecy."

Angel went back to his desk and leaned against it, crossing his arms. "What prophecy?"

"It's old and complicated… it's a long story."

"Make it short!"

"It said you would kill your son."

"Why haven't I heard about this until now?"

Wesley looked up and directly at Angel. "I tried to tell you last night, but you were more interested in threatening me."

"I meant before last night."

"Would you have listened?"

"Of course I…," Angel trailed off. No, he probably wouldn't. He hadn't even wanted to listen to what Buffy had to say.

"Exactly," Wesley said, getting a bit bolder now, "because when it comes to Connor you are not thinking rationally. You would have dismissed it as a lie or as irrelevant. I thought so, too, at first. But the prophecy seems to be authentic. And then Holtz came along. It was wrong of me to trust him. But by the time I realized that, it was already too late."

"How could you possibly have trusted Holtz?" Angel asked, pacing back and forth. "Nobody would be that stupid."

"I don't know. Of course, in hindsight, it was stupid. But - and try not to take this the wrong way - everybody was basically going crazy over Connor. You were all in a haze, in a cloud of let's play happy family. We are a family, but we are far from normal. We should know better. It was just too perfect. There is always something lurking around the next corner. But all you could think about was Connor here and Connor there. I don't blame you, I understand. But there was nobody here who would have wanted to listen to any dreadful scenarios involving Connor. I mean, you hardly even blinked twice when Darla showed up pregnant. You would have never accepted that anything concerning Connor could be dark or evil. Holtz was willing to listen and he seemed genuinely concerned about Connor. I thought that maybe… if Holtz had looked after him for a while and Connor had been gone, you would have come to your senses and listened to me."

"Great thinking, Wes, giving my son to someone who hates my guts. Didn't it occur to you that he could have hurt Connor just to get to me?"

"I… he really seemed worried about Connor's future. He believed the prophecy was real."

"You should have told me, Wesley."

"Yes, I should have. I'm so sorry."

"That's not gonna cut it."

"I know," Wesley said downcast.

"Who else is involved in this?"

"I don't know. I presume it's possible that there might be somebody else. But I only had contact with Holtz."

Angel was so angry. One of his best friends had betrayed him. But on the other hand he should have been more cautious himself. He usually was the one who was suspicious to a fault. And when it had mattered the most he had failed. He had failed his son. He should have noticed that something was going on, that Wesley had been up to something.

"May I ask what happened with Buffy and Holtz?" Wesley interrupted Angel's brooding.

"Holtz is dead."

"Oh." Wesley wasn't really surprised about that.

"And you have no idea how close you came to being dead as well. You can thank Buffy that you are still in one piece."

"How is she? What happened?"

"She was hurt badly. Holtz is a pretty good swordsman and Buffy only had a metal pipe to fight back. She must have lost it at some point though, letting herself get cut trying to protect Connor. If we'd been just a few minutes later…" Angel was back on the roof, seeing Buffy barely being able to stand. "God, she stood so close to the edge. She could have fallen any moment… she was bleeding everywhere…"

"I'm sorry," Wesley said. And he truly was. He never wanted anybody to get hurt.

Wesley's apology tore Angel from his reverie. "Go home, Wesley. I don't want to see you for a while. Besides, with that bump on your head you won't be very useful for any research either. We will look into that prophecy, but not right now. Go home."

Wesley stood up and made his way to the door. "Do you mind if I look in on Buffy?"

"I do. She's asleep."

"Well… um… okay then. Call me if you need me."

Angel didn't answer. He had his back to Wesley and was deep in thought. After a few minutes, he went to look for Connor. He could hear him still crying.

Cordelia was walking back and forth in the lobby, holding Connor against her shoulder and rocking him, while Fred was sitting on the stairs, trying to cheer up him by making funny faces. When she saw Angel approaching, Cordelia said, "Maybe he did get hurt."

Angel took Connor from her and gently rocked him. "He doesn't have one bruise. You checked him yourself, as did Gunn."

"I guess Buffy checked him, too," Cordelia said snappishly.

"Cordy, will you please stop blaming this whole situation on Buffy. Be angry at Holtz or Wesley or even me. But Buffy had nothing to do with it. I understand we all had a long and exhausting night, our nerves are raw, but still, let's try to keep everything in perspective."

"Sorry," Cordelia replied appropriately remorseful. "And yes, I am tired. And so should Connor. And before he doesn't stop crying, none of us will get any sleep. And I am sure Buffy did everything in her power to protect him. But excuse me if I seem kind of overprotective here, but we almost lost him once today. I don't want to risk his life just because we thought he was alright."

Angel was sure Connor was alright. He didn't have one single scratch on his body, and he hadn't cried once until he had yelled at Wesley. If Connor had been in pain he would have let them know before. But Cordelia knew exactly what buttons to push. And it worked.

"Okay, okay, take him to the hospital to get him checked out. Let me just look in on Buffy. If she is not better, I want her to go with you. She lost a lot of blood and seemed a bit disoriented at times."

Despite how exhausted Buffy was, the pain kept her from falling into a deep sleep. Buffy was still hurting everywhere and had been dozing on and off for a while now.

When Angel came in to check on her, he had a very unhappy Connor on his arm. "Hey, you should be asleep."

"Hey," Buffy said groggily.

Angel sat down on the bed and put a hand to her forehead to see if she might have developed a fever. Buffy didn't protest at all. She was more focused on Connor.

"Hey, sweety, are you grumpy? Did daddy yell at people? He tends to do that. But don't worry, he's not angry at you." She gave Angel a teasing look.

"I did not yell."

"I could hear you up here."

"Oh… yeah, maybe I was a bit… loud."

Buffy reached out her hand and gently stroked Connor's cheek. "Hey, don't cry. Everything is alright now. Nobody will hurt you anymore." Connor started to quiet down. Angel just looked on in wonder.

"Put him down. You are all tense and grumpy. No wonder Connor is crying. You are not a good role model if you run around like this in front of your son. You don't want him to be all broody and moody when he grows up."

"No, I don't," Angel said taken aback. He laid Connor down next to her and closely observed what would happen.

Buffy gently brushed Connor's tears away and then soothed him by making circular movements on his stomach. Finally, Connor stopped crying completely and looked curiously at Buffy.

"Wow," Angel said mesmerized.

"What?"

"He's been crying for almost an hour. We were worried he might have been hurt after all and wanted to take him to the hospital. But he seems perfectly fine now."

Buffy inspected Connor closely, felt every rib and limb. He started giggling. "You ticklish, little man?"

"You are good with kids," Angel said carefully.

"Well, Dawn would probably object to that statement."

"Dawn is a teenager. That's different. She has to disagree as a matter of principle. I mean it, Buffy, you are a natural. Fred, Cordy and me tried every trick to calm him down but failed miserably."

"Your tension probably just transferred to Connor. Shouldn't you be resting, too? It's day time."

"I doubt I'd be able to, even if I tried."

"What did Wesley say?"

"I really don't want to talk about Wesley now, okay?" Angel needed time to think everything through first. And he didn't want to risk another argument.

Buffy smiled at him reassuringly. She could see that even Angel was tired by now. "Okay."

"I'll tell you all about it when we all got some rest."

"Sure."

"If you stay a bit, that is. By the way, I called Giles. He said to tell you to get well soon and that they'll be able to manage without you for a few days and not to worry."

"Thanks."

"No, thank you." Angel looked affectionately at Buffy and then at Connor, who had fallen asleep next to her. Buffy followed his gaze and smiled.

"One down," Buffy said.

"Several to go. Oh, I almost forgot. The others are still waiting downstairs. I'll be right back."

Angel told the others that Connor had finally fallen asleep and that they should go to bed and get some sleep as well. Even Cordelia was too tired to protest or offer any snide remarks.

When Angel came back he handed Buffy a glass of water and some pills. "Here, take these."

Buffy eyed them suspiciously.

"Buffy, you look like hell. You must be dead tired, but somehow I don't think you've been able to sleep."

"I don't want to be knocked out."

"You need to sleep to get better."

"I know, but I can't afford to be comatose. I need to be able to wake up in case something happens."

"Like what?"

"Like somebody trying to kidnap Connor again?"

Angel was touched by her concern for Connor. "Don't worry, these won't knock you out. They'll just ease the pain."

Buffy didn't seem convinced. Angel sighed. "Please, Buffy. I promise these won't knock you out. Want me to get the package insert?"

"I'll take them, if you promise to get some rest, too. Deal?"

Angel sighed. "Deal."

Buffy took the pills.

"Anything else I can get you? Another blanket maybe or more pillows?"

"I'm fine. Stop fussing." If Buffy was honest with herself, she liked the fussing to a degree. It felt good to have somebody else worry about her for a change.

Angel carefully picked up Connor. "Okay then. And it should be quiet now. Everybody is trying to catch up on some sleep. But if you need anything, just yell. I'll hear you."

"Same goes for you and Connor." Angel looked at her confused. "If Connor wakes up and you need help putting him back to sleep," Buffy clarified.

Angel smiled. Maybe he hadn't messed up completely yet. "Thanks. I really hope he sleeps through though. We all could use the extra rest."

Buffy nodded but had trouble keeping her eyes open. By the time Angel reached the door, Buffy was already asleep. Angel quietly closed the door behind him. "Two down, one to go."

Angel put Connor in his crib. He would have preferred to just keep holding him after today's events, but Buffy was probably right. He was tense and restless and didn't want to wake Connor. Angel lay down and tried to catch some sleep himself. But so many things were going through his mind. Connor's abduction, Cordelia's behavior, Wesley's words and Buffy's words. He was going over and over their earlier conversation in his mind. He couldn't get her words out of his head. But Angel couldn't do much right now anyway, everybody else was asleep, it was still light outside and he didn't want to leave Connor alone. So he tried to doze a bit and finally fell into a light slumber.

He was awoken several hours later when he heard some noise from the lobby. It was already dark outside. Angel went to see who was there and found Gunn.

"Hey, how is our guest?" Gunn greeted him.

"Hopefully still asleep. I have something I need to check out. Can you watch Connor for a while? The others are still sleeping."

"Sure, no problem."

"Thanks."

Angel had not been able to get Buffy's words out of his mind. Was his ignoring Connor's origin maybe endangering him? He had counted on Wesley researching for him. And Wesley had kept things from him. And not everything was written in some books. Maybe they needed to expand their resources. Angel made his way to see the Oracles.

"How can it be possible that I have a son with Darla?" Angel demanded from the Oracles.

"Have you brought us a gift?"

"A gift?" Angel asked outraged. "I don't think you deserve one. You owe me an explanation. How can I possibly have a son with Darla?"

"He is your son. But Darla was nothing more but a surrogate. Vampires can't have children," the female Oracle said as if it were obvious. "They wouldn't care for them. You have a soul, you care for your son."

"But if Darla isn't… then who…?"

The Oracles waited for Angel to make the connection himself. When he just looked at them puzzled, the male Oracle went on, raising a disapproving eyebrow, "You were told before that it was meant to be, that you were meant to be with her - several times actually - but it seems like you weren't listening."

"Are you saying that Buffy is Connor's mother?" Angel asked aghast.

"Biologically, yes, she was always meant to be."

"How can that be? It's not possible."

"And Darla being his mother is so much more likely?" the male Oracle mocked.

"Last time I saw her we didn't-"

The female interrupted him, "Your son's conception happened quite a while back, we just kept him safe until the time was right. Actually, the time had been right then, but you messed up."

"If Buffy is really Connor's mother, why take him from her? At least she wouldn't have been so alone."

"We are not talking about when you became Angelus. We are talking about the day you wanted undone."

"Thanksgiving?"

"Yes, we allowed you to become human. On the very day that the Slayer came to LA. Quite a coincidence, don't you think? How many signs do you need?"

Angel didn't answer. He was just trying to take this all in.

"The Mohra demon was just part of the plan. You wanted your humanity, we gave it to you. You wanted Buffy, we gave her to you. Then you decided it wasn't want you wanted."

"I didn't want her to die," Angel protested.

"How noble," the female Oracle mocked him.

"And she died anyway," Angel yelled accusingly, remembering the pain he had felt.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it was always meant to be. We never said she wouldn't die, if we took your humanity. That was just your wishful thinking. And she came back, didn't she?"

"You mean I did it for nothing? It never changed a thing?"

"Your humanity wasn't what endangered the Slayer's life. Your foolishness did. Nobody forced you to hunt down the demon on your own. If you had told the Slayer from the beginning, she wouldn't have had to rescue you. Even without your humanity she saved your life more than once. Why did you think that would change? And you saved her life in return. Your lives will always be in danger, humanity or not."

"But I couldn't have protected her if I had stayed human."

"She is the Slayer. She can look out for herself. Besides, you sent her away and now she lives too far away for you to protect her anyway. Why couldn't you just have accepted what was given to you? Why didn't you hold on to what you wanted? And now you are waiting for the day you get your Shanshu. It is the same thing. Why do you want Shanshu? What is the difference? Is it more worth when it is given to you with a letter of recommendation and has a fancy name?"

Angel didn't know what to say. He was shocked by what the Oracles were revealing to him.

"Will you also forego Shanshu, if somebody tells you Buffy will die? She is mortal. She is the Slayer. Of course she will, some day, and very likely earlier than most human beings. Why waste the time she has with staying apart and hoping to delay something that is inevitable? You've lived long enough, you should know better. What are you waiting for? The perfect moment? You should know there isn't such a thing. And she won't wait for you always. One day she will decide she has waited long enough for you to make up your damn mind."

"But why take Connor from her and give him to Darla? Why not tell me? Why not make me see I was wrong?"

"You were not ready. The Slayer would have been. But if we had denied your request to turn back that day, you would eventually have sent her away again."

"So? At least she would have had Connor. She wanted him. She is miserable because she thinks he isn't hers. Why take him from her?"

"It would have been too risky. She wouldn't have remembered his conception."

"Are you saying she would have aborted him? Buffy would never do that."

"No, the Slayer would never abort your child. She just proved she would give her life for his, even without knowing he was hers, too. No, she would have become reckless after being sent away and she wouldn't even have known she was pregnant. She could have hurt herself and unknowingly her child before she found out. The timing wasn't right."

"But what about now? Obviously you thought the time was right now. Why give him to Darla?" Angel asked angrily.

"We needed an act of passion to reintroduce him into the world. We cannot create life. We can help it along. We can prolong life. We can alter life and influence it. But creation is not ours. Besides, immaculate conceptions are so clichéd, don't you think?"

"Why not give him to Buffy?"

"It needed to be clear that he is your son."

"He isn't even Darla's," Angel yelled.

"Yes, but you believed he was yours. That's the point."

"But why take him from Buffy?" Angel asked again. "She has been through hell, why keep her son from her? She didn't deserve it."

"We just kept with your pattern. She didn't know. How could it hurt her?"

"She had a right to know. He is her son. He has a right to know. He has a right to know that he has the kindest mother in the world and not some vamp who had one moment of sanity."

"Yes, we think so, too. But would you have understood that before? You always thought you have to keep things from her, make decisions for her."

"Is that your cruel way of teaching me? How could you?" Angel was beside himself with anger.

"We answered your question," the female Oracle said annoyed. "Be gone."

"Just one more piece of advice," the male Oracle said, "this time for free. Before you tell the Slayer - if you tell her at all - think carefully about what happens afterwards, very carefully. Don't mess up our plans again. Otherwise we will be just rid of you. Your son is born. Others can take care of him now."

With a wave of his hand, Angel was thrown out, leaving only the two Oracles behind.

"We would never kill him," the female Oracle said irritated.

"No, we wouldn't. But he doesn't need to know that. The Slayer would not approve. She needs him. But this is the last time we use a vampire with a soul as a warrior for our side. We never had as much trouble as with him. All this guilt messes up our plans. Amateurs! Never again!"

"You have to admit that the guilt is a great motivation."

"Yes, but it should not have been stronger than love."

"The love was stronger, we just underestimated him. We thought he would be more selfish. But he didn't feel he deserved her. And right now you just tried to lead him astray again. You know she will never forgive him, if he doesn't tell her the truth and she finds out later. That would be an absolute disaster."

"Yes, but we've given him too many hints already. Wasn't Whistler clear enough? She even got him out of hell. And still he turns his back. I understand that he wouldn't take what the Mohra demon said at face value, he was a demon after all. And it was open to interpretation."

"That was a very tricky one, all true, but tricky," the female Oracle chuckled amused. "But why tempt him to go astray again? That is not in our interests. It is in nobody's interest."

"This vampire just makes me so angry sometimes. Over two centuries old and still as stupid as a bean."

"Come on, now you are exaggerating. He is not that bad. Not everyone can be as wise as you and me," the female Oracle tried to placate him.

"I guess," the male Oracle said and shrugged his shoulders.

"You have to admit though, that even we did get lucky. Imagine if he hadn't slept with Darla. We can be glad that dead vampire came along. At least she was good for something. That lawyer firm played right into our hands."

"If she hadn't come back from the dead, we might have had to help him along with someone else then. That colleague of his seems to be interested in him."

"Do you think the Slayer will be able to overlook his indiscretion with his sire?"

"You heard what the Slayer said to him before. He is lucky Darla came along. If we had had to use his colleague instead… I don't see how even we could have ever undone that mess afterwards."

TBC