"Halt! Stand and be recognised!" the guard shouted. Mario and Luigi had just progressed through Hyrule Field to get to the home of Link and Zelda, but they were stopped by such a formulaic statement. Mario understood his point, and reached into his overalls to pull out his golden star.

The golden star was an object issued to the main character of any Nintendo universe. It's programming made it impossible to be carried by someone of a different universe, and it couldn't be moved long distances by someone of the same universe. The back of this one was captioned Super Mario, identifying it's carrier as none other than Mario himself.

"Enter, Mario. May you succeed in your endeavour."

"Thank you, beep."

"Good morning, good sir. To what purpose do I owe this pleasure?" Princess Zelda asked.

"Your highness, the Royal Guard Nana has sent reports of one of the Ghost Gang being present in this universe. We were sent to apprehend it," Luigi stated.

"A member of the Ghost Gang? Hm… which would it be?"

"Nana cannot say for sure, as the three which entered these worlds did so without leaving any clues. According to the law of the Sorting Algorithm of Evil, it would be fair game to assume it's Clyde."

"Is this your assumption?"

"I don't think it matters, beep."

"Fair point, Mario. Alright, I'll give you passage to… wait, where was Clyde?"

"We were hunting for it."

Luigi and Zelda shrugged. Neither had the faintest idea what to do in this situation. Their standstill was destroyed with the rear end of the throne room.

"*click* You think you're so *whirr* strong, don't you, hotshot? *buzz* You destroyed Pac-Man's dreams… *clang*, so I'll destroy you!" Clyde boasted. Mario and Luigi narrowed their eyes.

"I'd prefer not to beep in a throne room."

"*whirr* Neither would I… how does *bang* Death Mountain sound?"

"I will second that movement, Clyde, if you'd get out of this room!" Zelda shouted. Clyde zipped away, cackling madly. "Nayru… Clyde does not seem the type to do that. There's something about him…"

"Not to worry, Princess. We'll Goomba Stomp this guy into the middle of next beep!"

Mario and Luigi had not counted of Death Mountain.

"Oh my… this looks challenging…" Luigi said.

"You could beep your vacuum cleaner… the Poltergust 3000!"

"It's not the most helpful thing in the world."

"Luigi, you have probably been to Luigi's Mansion so many times it's no longer funny. And you enjoyed developing Dark Moon as well. How can you confess you beep the Poltergust now?"

"I didn't say that. I said it's not as useful in this situation. I can't suck up any fire I feel like, and there's no water I can use nearby…"

"Well… beep."

They cleared the dungeon… somehow.

"I am never dungeon-crawling again."

"Nor am I. That was beep."

Luigi was promptly elevated to a higher plane. The Mario Bros… were on different levels. The pair began to note their surroundings. As they were doing this, a rumbling sound echoed throughout the cavern. Someone… or something… was coming out from the centre of the arena. It was Clyde. He was playing a war tune that sounded… not like a war tune. It was somewhat intimidating, though. Clyde's next action was completely out of left field.

I am the Great Mighty Clyde
And you have nowhere to hide!
The grandest scrap
Will come out of this trap!
How about we smash a little trash?

"What?" both Mario and Luigi exclaimed. Nevertheless, they engaged in battle with Clyde.

Clyde's attacking pattern was to slam with his specially-crafted fists. Not remotely threatening, giving Mario time to think about the attack pattern. He noticed an out-of-place question mark block, and he punched it. A Fire Flower came out, and Mario ate it. He became Fire Mario, and he threw a fireball into the exhaust vent.

"*click*!" Clyde let out.

"It's working! Do it again!" Luigi called. Mario did so. The exhaust vent could take no more, and it warped. It was no longer a weak point. Meanwhile, Clyde upped the tempo of the boss theme, and sang a second verse.

Do you really think you escape from here?
You don't seem to know just what you're in…
I'll be the one to finally make you disappear
And it's all to your chagrin!

Luigi noticed a lever. He threw it, and magnets emerged from the corners of the arena. He threw it again, and they activated. Clyde's fists were attracted to these magnets, and Mario could lob fireballs into the other vents, which Clyde had not made available to him by constantly facing him. Upon breaking one, Clyde burst into his final burst, upping the tempo some more.

Now I'm really getting rather cross
You're like a squiggly Wiggler, a squirmy worm, a bad man…
When I've knocked you right across
I'm going to take you and shove you down my fan!

"Your fan?"

My fan!

"Your-?"

That's right, my fan!

"Eurgh!"

My fan!

"Ewww!"

My faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

The sound of glass cracking could be heard on this note. Neither Mario or Luigi could detect it, so they continued the fight. It was incredibly simple afterwards, regrettably, so all that was left was to destroy the final vent shaft. Upon doing so, Clyde let out one high pitched note, breaking the glass they had heard earlier.

Mario unleashed his fury at that point. He left no jump untouched to make it to the cockpit, which was the home of the shattered glass. At the top, he saw Clyde had a metallic stick attached to the side of his head. Mario broke this, and Clyde leaped back.

"Hold your fire!" he begged.

"Give me a reason!"

"I don't care for Blinky's plan! I'll help you defeat him if it'll bring an end to his and Pac-Man's madness!"

"I knew Pac-Man was behind this!"

I admit it... I have a guilty pleasure in Sloprano. I wrote this for a cleaner version of the lyrics.

Despite this, I also apologize for the lack of Twilight Princess. I have never played/watched that game. Sue me. The title was only because no other game really fit that title... (or the story).

...Anyone have any Mario-themed Zelda game subtitles? It might seem useless, but...

It's dangerous to learn alone. Read this. ...I am not doing a Zelda story before fixing this. My next story is already confirmed, actually. I might upload both that and this... or I may stick to this. Although I have noticed quality drops when I expect stories to follow. It's up in the air...