AuthorComms: Chapter 4, Episode 3
And so the madness continues…
"HAI EVERYBODY!"
Charge sweatdropped, " Yeah, Jay's a little hyper right now, even with a busted ankle…"
"ALL OF US BELIEVE, THAT THIS IS NOT UP TO YOU! THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, THAT, IT'S UP… TOO… ME!"
"No idea how the opening of No Reason ties into all of this…"
"… and now I would like to introduce our temporary co-host…"
Charge facepalmed at the huge mood swing of the host.
"… Melissa the Hedgehog!" Cue pre-recorded studio cheers.
A female purple hedgehog wearing a dark-ish red sleeveless hoodie top, plain blue jeans, black fingerless gloves, red trainers with white vertical stripe and two black velcro straps walked in, noticed Charge, then tackled him with a hug.
"Aww." went everyone else in the studio.
"Er… good to see you too Melissa?" Charge looked completely bewildered at the sudden greeting.
Melissa turned to the cast and waved, "Hey everybody!"
Everyone waved.
"… and Eggman…"
"Actually, he's MR. TOILET BRUSH for now…" Jay informed her, getting a glare from said person.
"Oh…" she looked thoughtful, but then broke into a huge grin, "Let's get s-"
BOOM!
After the usual everybody dives for cover thing, the culprit was revealed to be this time around to be Jack Sparrow standing on the deck of the Black Pearl with cannons pointed at the wall.
"WHAT. THE . HECK? JACK, DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE TITANIUM IS?" I'll give you three guesses as to who.
"Oh, sorry Jay, me old mate." Jack shrugged, "Thought you were Barbossa and crew."
"Jack, this is the third time this year! Either pay up now, or I'll call the Imagination Police on you." Jay looked genuinely annoyed, and then some.
"Oh, you don't want to do that mate. You see, you don't want to do that, because not doing that will therefore make me happy, and you happy in my mind, which will make me happy, and then I won't be spending a year behind bars in jail. Savvy?"
Jay looked very confused, "Okay, only because you've now made me question the very fabric of existence, you're off the hook."
The Pearl sailed onward, while Jay looked at the hole with his hands on his hips, sighing, "And another repair job for me…"
Melissa squinted at something in the corner, "Do you think that the explosions might have something to do with that?"
Jay and Charge both looked, before Charge groaned and Jay's head sank into his hands.
"That's why."
Written on the wall in red paint was 4th.
"Welcome to Ch. 4 of AuthorComms, as always, this is your host Jay and my trusty servant Charge…"
"HEY!"
"… and joining us tonight is Melissa the Hedgehog!"
"Hey everybody!" she cheered.
"Okay picking up from last episode's request, Silver, what did you think of Toronto?"
The albino hedgehog spoke, "Well, actually, I liked it a lot. It was a pretty laid back place for a business centre, but I went to a Leafs game, and man it was crazy! But yeah, Toronto is in my top 10 favorite cities."
"Will you bring me next time?" Blaze asked sweetly.
Silver smiled, "Of course."
"How about me?" Rouge asked with a seductive wink.
"Uhh…"
"And sue cat/bat fight in 3… 2… 1… FIGHT!" Charge declared, then settled back to watch the carnage.
Jay pumped his fist "And chalk another battle for Canada! Let's get onto the cutscenes…"
There was a short pause, with everyone staring at Sonic.
"Sonic, why are you doing Caramelldansen?" Vector asked the obvious.
Sonic paused in his random dancing, "Y'know, I have no idea. I just had an urge."
"Okay…" Jay gave him a look that said everything, before silently slipping on Comin' Home by City and Colour.
-X-
The giant battleship sailed over the small tropical island, blue engines flaring. A lopsided palm tree could be viewed from the camera angle.
Sonic and Tails appeared, obviously just having stopped running, as they took a few steps after they came into view. They stared up at the battleship intently, as if their eyes were SAM systems trying to shoot it down.
A random white feather that most likely came from a seagull flew through a blinding beam of sunlight and landed on the sand. Sonic's shoes came into view and he picked it up.
"It looks like the princess was moved to another location!" Tails exclaimed, stating the obvious. He ran in front of Sonic and gestured wildly with his hands.
"Let's head back to the city!" he exclaimed, taking off without waiting for Sonic to answer.
Sonic stared at the feather with an expression of annoyance, before grasping it and taking off running along the beach.
-X-
Elise sat against a large stone pillar in a dusty dungeon as music that certainly did not fit her played softly.
"You're a good girl Elise." Se heard her father's voice in her head, "Remember, be brave. Don't cry, no matter what happens."
(A.N: He said this, then went off and died right in front of her. Sheesh, talk about do as I say, no as I do…)
A far-away explosion that ended up being right beside her interrupted her inner montage. Sonic and Tails walked out of the dust, with Sonic looking like he needed a nap and Tails actually acting out a cute little wave while balanced on one foot.
"Mr. Sonic!" Elise exclaimed, ignoring his obvious request to call him Sonic and hugging him randomly. He pushed her away, "Now, are you okay?"
"I'm so glad that you came." Elise answered the question wrongly. (A.N: YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK. GOODBYE. (sets off nuclear explosion))
"I always keep my word." Sonic stated.
"SONIC!" Tails yelled randomly, facing away from the pair and spreading his arms outwards. Sonic turned quickly what looked like a giant IDog standing outside a set of gates that had randomly appeared.
MR. TOILET BRUSH, now de-Magnezoned, somehow teleported to inside the gates even though he couldn't be seen before. His boots looked like they came out of a department store.
"It looks like a blue rat has stuck it's pesky nose where it doesn't belong." He began, arms folded behind his back, "Well, a hedgehog to be more precise."
He pointed at the group, his hand looking like it was carved from wood, "The princess is mine (A.N: O.O)until I unlock the Flames of Disaster." He finished the last part with a dramatic fist pull. He suddenly brought his fist down in front of his face and hit himself in the nose, making a sound like a doorstopper rattling.
'Tails!" Sonic called out, shielding Elise with his body.
Tails put on a badass face and stance, but the voice ruined it, "Got it, let's go!"
Sonic nodded, and they were all randomly transported to an arena.
-X-
"Cause I'm… comin' home, I'm comin' home. I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home. I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home. Comin' home…" Jay sang, strumming an imaginary acoustic guitar.
"Jay, did you even watch a second of that footage?" Melissa asked.
Jay looked insulted, "Of course! I loved it when Tails turned into Mohamed Ali and punched Elise in the face!"
Everyone facepalmed, "Let's just get onto Three Questions, shall we?" Charge asked, "I'll start. Sonic, you do realize that that feather came from a seagull, right?"
"…" Sonic continued to Caramelldansen nonstop.
Shadow punched him in the face, "Stop dancing and pay attention, faker!"
"Ow, yes. I was just acting in that segment. Y'know, put on a good show for the folks at home."
Melissa rolled her eyes, "Okay, question two. MR. TOILET BRUSH, do you have the power of teleportation like in that one scene?"
"THAT'S NOT ME! IT'S THE FA-"
"DON'T SAY IT IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE!"
"Say what?" asked Eggman Nega as he randomly walked in, only to be tackled by Charge and Blaze and beaten soundly in a very rare display of teamwork between the two.
"Que-SONIC, SERIOUSLY STOP DANCING!" Jay gave Sonic a punch in the gut, causing him to double over and cough, "Q number 3, Tails, that has to be the coolest pose I've ever seen you in. How do you feel about it?"
"Well, I did it that once, but I don't think I could do it again…"
"How does a massive contract with Boeing to mass-produce the Tornado X sound?"
"KYA!" Tails yelled, taking up the same pose.
"M'Kay, last thing. Shadow, here's an acoustic guitar, sing Comin' Home now." Melissa ordered.
"And your reason?"
"I'm an evil person, and you don't want this on the Internet, now do you?" She showed him a photo, and his pupils dilated significantly.
"Wher-" he sighed, "I hate you all."
"Well I've been down to Georgia
I've seen the streets in the West
I've driven down the 90, hell I've seen America's best
I've been through the Rockies, I've seen Saskatoon
I've driven down the highway 1 just hopin' that I'd see you soon
Cause I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home (x3)
I've never been to Alaska, but I can tell you this,
I've been to Lincoln, Nebraska and hell you know it ain't worth shit
I've been through Nova Scotia, Sydney to Halifax
I'll never take any pictures cause I know I'll just be right back
Cause I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home (x3)
I've seen a palace in London, I've seen a castle in Wales
but I'd rather wake up beside you and breathe that ol' familiar smell
I never thought you could leave me, I figured I was the one
but I understand your sadness so I guess I should just hold my tongue
But I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home (x3)
I know that we're takin' chances, you told me life was a risk
but I just have one last question...
will it be my heart or will it be his?
I'm comin' home. (x5)"
"WOOT! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Jay cheered, "I'm afraid that's all the time we have for now, dares for next time."
"Sonic, next episode you will remove your shoes." Sonic continued to dance ridiculously.
"Vector, I have something money-related for you next time." Guess who's eyes just turned into dollar signs.
"Rouge, you cannot flit with anyone for the next 5 chapters and the time in between each one." Jay pulled out a clipboard and squinted at it for a second, "And that's that! Thanks for coming out, Melissa!"
'No prob, Jay!"
"Join us next time!" Charge waved.
"CHEERS!"
Next time: Bekah the Hedgehog and Shriek the Dark come to wreck havoc upon our poor studio, Jay tries to figure out how to prevent the fourth wall from breaking, and a possible surprise performance by someone!
PM me requests for dares, musical performances and things like that, as I am sorry to say I will only accept actual reviews in my story.
~CtC~