"How do you know I'm the father?"
"ITACH UCHIHA! YOUR INSULTING ME" said seething Kyuubi choking Itache.
"Ok... Ok dont ...kill me" Kyuubi continued to choke. "do...(cough) want...da ...baby ...growing...fatherless"
At this Kyuubi dropped him. "N-N-No I don't, but y-y-y-you said t-t-t-hat and in my world that it is the w-w-w-worst thing y-your m-m-mate c-c-an say" Kyuubi started crying.
"Shhh baby shhh I was just joking...it's what human guys do to lighten the shock of being a dad. I know your pregnant...your moods swings are kicking in" Kyuubi started to glare "just kidding...you demons need to learn to take a joke."
"I guess we need to go to the hospital (A/N he's still glaring at Sasuke) let go"
Sasuke kicked Naruto awake.
"Huh..wha...Sasuke...OH GOD SASUKE! NOOOOO SASUKE NOOOOO!" Sasuke was chasing Naruto with a chainsaw.
Kakashi sweat dropped "Where did he get that?"
"GO NARUTO GO!" cheered Itachi. "oof" Kyuubi elbowed him.
Iruka sighed ignoring Kakashi and Itach"This will take a while."
Previously
/Thank you reviewers
Kakashi sighed. This was one hell of a fix. First, Sasuke pregnant, then Kyuubi, pregnant, then Naruto need medical treatment now ITACHI need medical treatment...how the hell much is this costing him.
Kyuubi had appernately beated Itach when he mentioned he was going to get FAT! WHO THE HELL TELL PREGGERS THAT! IT SUCIDE!
Sasuke and kyuubi were both sitting on the same hospital table across from their lovers...for now.
Sasuke was nervous and scared. On one hand he would have kids on the other hand...he would have kids. Sighing for the umpteenth time. He stared from the sterial white walls to his terribly beatin blonde lover sleeping peacefully...blissfully unaware...
I'm GONNA KILL'M
Kyuubi was staring at Itachi smiling happily. He was excited. He was going to have Itachi's baby. He was going to be a mother. OOOOOh I can't wait. Itachi would either have to expand Sasuke's apartment, find their own...or better get one huge house. EEEEEEPPP! then he could design the baby rooms and him and Itachi could be a real family..a few kids...grandpa's (kakashi, jiraya,itachi etc)...uncles...mother and father.
Kyuubi's eyes narrowed. Mother and Father...Mothers and Fathers are supposed to be married. What kind of example would they be to their kids if they were unwed...the children would be SLUTS AND MANWHORES!
I'm GONNA KILL'M
Tsunade walked in the some what spacious hospital room sensing the deadly aruroa comin off they to pregnant. Tsunade sighed. God, where my sake when I need it...oh wait Shizune damned pig drunk it all.
Grumbles cames from the sleeping semes. Finally awaken, they shivered even though it was warm in the room.
'Why do I feel my life expancy dropping' thought Naruto and Itachi.
When they turned their heads, they found only to men truly capable of bring the Fire Country to ashes.
Sasuke and Kyuubi shot death glares...it was like a ran of bullets from a machine gun.
MARRY ME!
COMFORT ME!
'WHAT DID I DO!' thought Itachi and Naruto.
"Um Hmmm...(heads snapped towards her) congrats ur both pregnant" SLAM
Tsunade wanted to stay out of War World 3. RUnning as fast as she could to a local bar.
Back in the room Itach and NAruto's life expancy dropped another 30 years.
/
WHOOO! kay for those who wonder what happened to pein and madara. don't worry next chapter they have a cameo...REVIEWERS huge thanks...
Itachi and Naruto: I thought this was a no character death story
Author:Did I knock up the youngest Uchiha and a Demon NO!
Itachi and NAruto: U MADE US
Author:...REVIEW PLEASE BYE (RUNNING FOR LIFE!)
/
WHOOO! Kay for those who wonder what happened to pein and madara. don't worry next chapter they have a cameo...REVIEWERS huge thanks... especially mochiusagi YOU ROCK!
Naruto: Itachi might die Itachi might die, Itachi might dieeeeeee
Itachi: what are you talking about dobe
Naruto: TEME!...humph idk your going to dieeeee
Author: sigh idiots Review and FAV
NOW
Itachi POV
It's been 2 months ...2 DAMN MONTHS and I can't take it. GOD I NEED to get out of here...but if I do...Kyuubi might think I left him...I could never leave my adorable lil' kyuubi no kitsune...
Itachi was in their new house (purchased by Sasuke) brooding in thier spacious living room on the comfty couch...that he's been sleeping on for the past 2 months.
Across from him was Naruto...who was also stuck in a silmiar perdicament...the only difference is that he's only been on it for a month... Although he could tell Sasuke had better reason to be pissed. Kyuubi is carrying twins. Sasuke WAS carrying 5, but 2 of them died...Sasuke was depressed and went to the sugrey (he didn't know if he went alone) because Itachi was allowed a mission...Naruto had had a mission...Kyuubi had a doctor appointment so Iruka went with him.
( Sasuke is also against him.)
And the worst part is he won't tell me what's wrong...I'm a FUCKING GENIOUS NOT A MIND READER!
CRACK...SHATTER
Itachi had been holding a glass and shattered it. Itachi sighed...then froze.
Someone was glaring him...I'm thinK I'm going to hell...
There stood Sasuke looking like our mother as if he was her incarnate. His hair has gotten the point were it reaches is thighs. We had tried to get him to cut or at least trim...let's say there was no electricty in the house for two few days.
"You do realize that I pay for that...right?" asked a pissed Sasuke. Now Itachi should have known better than to smart mouth a pissed pregnant incarnate of his mother (may her soul rest in peace). But as an older brother it...kinda just felt natural.
"Do you realize that I don't care?" Uhh...is flickering red eyes a bad sign.
"I see. Of course I'm not shocked. It's great to be gay...what with all the worry free sex...up until the point you catch something or they get pregnant." Sasuke all but screeched...now I think crackling electicity pulsing around someone is a sign for run or...FUCK RUN!
"Otouto...I'm trying with kyuubi...and you...but..."Sasuke's glare intensifing, Itachi scared ...must..build..courage. "Look Sasuke I know you may not want a baby, but the fact neither you or kyuubi aborting the babies shows you care. And I care too...it just that you and Kyuubi are acting ...I don't know...all I now is that your bottling stuff and can't be healthy..."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed.
Devil Itachi: Man are you INSANE? When I give you the option of run and FUCK RUN! YOU pick FUCK RUN FOR YOUR DAMN LIFE! Now he's gonna kill you...which means he gonna kill me...ahhhhh MOMMY!...No wait Mom pissed about the kill her and rest of Uchiha clan thing...KISAME!
Cue spot light.
Angel Itachi: Don't listen to him Ita-chan..you must show courage and demand to know what wrong that is the only way they'll tell you... besides this your otouto and lover we're talking about...you don't want to lose them...and don't ever mention Kisame to Kyuubi. Remember the tequila Mexican bar incident. He'll kill you and Sasuke will use it as black mail.
Itachi was caught in the logic of both his conscience on one hand he'll die ...or the other he MAY not die...
"Otouto, come here," commanded Itachi in a soft voice. Devil Itachi: YOU FOOL! OW! ANgel Itachi: (Slaps Devil Itach upside head) Good job Ita!
Sasuke is skeptical but comes over as of if to sit down. Itachi sighed. Then dread filled him as he felt Sasuke grab his collar. Murder seething through his eyes "O-O-Otouto, w-w-what bot-t-thering y-you?" asked nervously. Sasuke humph-ed and electricuted his brother to a crisp. Who fell to the ground.
This is turn woke Naruto with a "What the HELL!" Sasuke glared at him. He shut up.
He pointedly turned on his hills "I'm going out!" With a slam to the door Sasuke was gone.
Devil Itachi: Now when I give you the options you RUN and...
"FUCKING RUN FOR YOUR DAMN LIFE" mumbled Itachi.
Naruto just starred in horror and confusion.
Sasuke POV
Idoit brother...I take excellent care of myself. I shoulda killed him...
Sasuke didn't know where he was headed. All he knew was that he ended up at Kakashi's place. Some part him hope Iruka wasn't there. He already hated him.
He raised his hand to the door,but before he could knock the door was already opened. "Hello Sasuke-kun. Would you like to come in?"
When Sasuke stepped in, Kakashi offered him some tea telling him Iruka had to teach today.
Was he trying to say it was safe to come on?... Sasuke accepted and sat on the tiny couch.
Kakashi finished the tea and came to sit next to Sasuke. After a few minutes of quiet, Kakashi broke the silence.
"So how've you been?"
"Hn." Not good.
"Not good huh. I could see what with the way you looked mad. What's the reason?" he asked as if he could read his mind.
Sasuke snapped his head toward Kakashi "I'm not mad so there is no reason."
Kakashi was as calm as ever "So, you're just mad just because. You kicked Naruto out of bed. Electricuted Itachi. Refuse to eat. Screamed and threaten bloody murder to any who looked at your stomach. AND cut the power for DAYS for nothing, Sasuke"
Sasuke head fell forward a little. He was shocked Kakashi knew about this...had he been spying...
And to Kakashi complete surpise Sasuke wrapped his arms around him and cried out his problems to his ever lovable Aniki.
"Kyuubi...h-h-hates me...And Aniki lov(hic)es him which m-m-m-eans he'll hate me too...Iruka hates me...Nar(hic)to is g-g-going to think I'm d-d-d-d-isgusting...cuz I got(hic)ta b-b-b-b-baby in me and I'm going to get f-f-ffat...I don't wan(hic)na get fat Kakashi...and I killed my other babies!"
Kakashi let Sasuke scooch onto his lap and rubbed circles into his back. "Now Now Sasuke that's an awful big assumption to make. Now if I'm thinking correctly Kyuubi's probably just jealous 'cause you're... having one more kid then he has, From what I've learned demons tend to very competitive about the numbers a kids they have...Itachi would never hate you. He killed your clan and still let you live Sasuke. Wouldn't that be contradicting his actions? Iruka doesn't hate you. He just doesn't know how to speak to you...you're different from Naruto who all he really has to do is threaten...threats don't work on you. AND Naruto would never ever hate you. You're carrying his children. He's not going to think you're fat...If anything he'll probably think you're cute. I know I think a pregnant Sasuke is cute." At this he laughed at Sasuke's blush. "So don't worry and you're not getting fat. Your babies are just growing nor did you kill the others. Your body just couldn't handle the strain- ninja or not you're still male AND human...it's a lot to take on." Kakashi ended.
Sasuke thought over what he said then started to cry in Kakashi's shoulder again. Kakashi paniced.
"What's wrong now?"
N-N-Nothin'...just happy."
"Ah." Kakashi continued to rub circles into Sasuke back. When Sasuke was done crying he lifted his head.
"Why don't you become Hokage?...You seem to have moments where being one just fits you just...perfect."
Kakashi laughed. "Two reasons. 1: because more people would want me dead...and 2: I'm just too lazy."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I think you should be, but thanks...not just this but for coming with me to the sugurey...and just...thanks for everything." Sasuke whispered with a blush. When he slid off Kakashi, he did what neither of them expected. He kissed Kakashi's cheek.
"I-I-I'm going to cook...I'm starving," then raced to the kichen. Kakashi stood there with a gloved hand on his cheek. He smiled proudly, sat on the couch, took out Icha Icha and..."Hey Sasuke I would love onigiri filled with fish and tomatoes."
The clanking of pots and pans got louder in the kitchen as a blushing Sasuke got to work.
Elsewhere
"This isn't going to become a KakaSasu thing is it Madara?" asked Pein who was staring at the screen. Both ninja had agreed to watch Itachi and Sasuke from afar...until they came up with a plan at least. So they were staying in a high class hotel, Yuki.
"Hn, maybe it really up the reviewers...I mean the plot was to make it NaruSasu...but who knows turning it into a KakaSasu...would be kinda fun...and besides isn't it evil to break up couples" asked Madara who was coming out of the bathroom towel drying his long hair. (Yeah he looks like past him not present) smirking.
Pein got up to kiss said man. "Yeah...but isn't it good to be a matchmaker...How about we let the reviewers decide? Hey you people...yea you uglyies_"
Madara chuckled. "Now koi be nice...they won't review if you're mean. Repeat after me please review and favorite."
Pein frowned "No...they're thinking about you naked...bastards, stop thinkings! HE'S MINE DAMNIT!"
Madara chuckled a proceeded to kiss and lick Pein neck. "Jealous and possessive...I like it...why don't you ride me like you own me baby,' Leading Pein to the bed.
Pein went from crazed possessive lover to wanton slut "Baby, your going to hate me...I might break it."
"Hn...will see...or Readers Review and favor."
"MADARA PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" crazed possessive lover back.
"I'm sorry Pein-koi...now where were we" purred Madara. Wanton slut in.
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SOOOOO could that have been anymore random?...hope you enjoy...now all I need to do is come up with a plot...don't worry a shall not give in...but seriously answer Pein's question...i love KakaSasu and will flip if not told otherwise...well buh bye.