This was inspired by an old Snickers commercial.

Despite being exposed to a rust storm and fighting the Autobots, none of them were seriously injured. The instant they landed back in Kaon, Starscream was ready to bolt for his personal wash-rack and stay in there for a long, long time.

Unfortunately, that was not what was happening right now.

Starscream hated to think his trinemates got a head start in cleaning up and were probably lounging in his room, having the time of their life, while he was stuck in the meeting room giving Megatron a report that Soundwave was silently recording. The warlord insisted that it was best to deliver it now rather than later, to ensure a more accurate recounting.

It was accurate. For the most part. Certain… unnecessary details were excluded. Such as his utter hatred of rust, how he made his trinemates do the hard work for him, and the fact he abandoned them to die.

In his report, Starscream bossing them around turned to them working together in perfect harmony. The driller buried in the rust storm was the aftermath as he heroically got them out of the tunnel before it was too late, and tragically the driller was lost under tons of rust. Then he nobly led them to battle against the Autobots, bravely going in front of course.

"As you can see," Starscream gestured to his roughed up frame. He didn't enjoy looking like this, but his current appearance gave his report more credibility. "It was quite a fierce and intense battle, but thanks to my leadership we ultimately prevailed. Then we returned to Kaon and I'm sure you're aware of the rest."

Starscream quickly wrapped up the ending, eying the door. The only thing standing in between him and the exit was Megatron. The warlord was silent other than the occasional hmm sound that aggravated Starscream to no end since it was impossible to tell if it was a good or a bad hmm.

Megatron still didn't move out of the way.

"Hmm. How many, uh… Autobots were there, exactly?"

"Dozens my liege, dozens. We crushed them with ease and left no survivors." In reality, it had only been a small group of Autobots, and there was just a small shoot-out until the trine ran out of ammo and high tailed it out of there. But Megatron didn't need to know that.

"Ah. Hmm, I see." Megatron nodded. He knew Starscream hated being dirty and was desperate to hit the wash-rack, which was exactly why he had to drag it out as long as possible.

A pause. He absently swirled his cube of energon and took a long, slow sip.

By now Starscream was getting more aggravated. He glared at the cube of energon. I hope you choke on it.

"So."

He perked up with a fake smile. "Yes! Anything else, my liege?"

"Hmm. How was the weather?"

Starscream gawked at him in disbelief. Is he for real? "Like I said. We had a bit of…wind."

"Hmm. So I heard. What kind of wind?"

This son of a- "It was a rust storm sir, a rust storm." He hissed through his denta, hoping Megatron would catch the hint and let him leave.

Megatron quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? A rust storm, you say?" Pause. Swirl. Sip. "How was it?"

Starscream took a deep breath. "It was awful, as you can see," He pointed at himself. "Does quite a bit of damage on the finish."

Alright, I had my fun. Megatron thought. Also he had run out of questions to delay Starscream even more. "In conclusion, the mission was a failure." He summed up.

"Yes." Starscream said irritated. "Well, it's a good thing we're a good trine." He cleared his vocalizer, trying to end the conversation.

"Indeed." Megatron finally bothered to move out of the way.

Megatron held his stoic face until the SIC left, and then burst laughing. "Ha! Did you see what I did there, Soundwave? Made him wait as long as possible. Quite ingenious on my part. And do you believe that report? Saving them from the tunnel? Going in front in battle? Has to be one of the most farfetched ones he's told me yet!" He laughed, shaking his head.

Soundwave, unsurprisingly, said nothing.

On the solar cycle they moved in, after Starscream's attempt to keep them in a ridiculously tiny corner had failed, they got their old berths in the room. Thundercracker was sitting on the edge of his berth, savoring the rare moment of solitude and peace.

Peace that was immediately destroyed when he heard the angry stomping down the hallway.

It's going to take forever to clean up! Probably longer because I had to wait so long. Blasted rust probably already settled in there!

The door to their room hissed open and Starscream stormed in muttering curses with a fuming scowl on his faceplates. His wings were erect and flared out, EM field violently lashing out in rage. All painfully clear signs to NOT aggravate or provoke Starscream in any way. The blue seeker heard the sharp clacking of heel thrusters as Starscream stepped in the wash rack. The door slid shut with a soft click…

…And was almost ripped to shreds as Starscream flung it aside and stomped out screeching. "Which one of you fools used my wax!?"

"Your carnauba wax?" Thundercracker asked. It dawned on him that up until Starscream arrived, the room had been quiet. Too quiet.

"Yes, my carnauba wax!" Starscream snarled, looking absolutely livid. "You have any idea of the plot holes I had to deal with to get it here? Now where is it? I know one of you has it!"

"Oh yeah, that!" Skywarp lazily flexed his now glossy servo and smirked. "Really brings out the shine! Thanks for letting me borrow it, Screamer."

Starscream saw red.

Megatron just so happened to be walking by Starscream's room when he, and possibly half of Kaon, heard.

"I SWEAR WHEN I GET YOU I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR SPARK OUT SKYWARP!"

While news quickly spread among the other half of the troops and bets were paid off, among them a very happy Steve who won his cube of high grade, Megatron chuckled. His plan to ruin Starscream's life was working better than he could've ever imagined. The only way it could possibly go wrong was if... The warlord shook his head. No. He thought. There's more chances of Optimus Prime catching cybonic plague before that could ever happen.

Right?

Ever since I started adding more chapters, I've really wanted to share this short little piece with all of you.

I didn't explain it back in chapter 2 but I consider Trine Me to be a one-shot series, where everything goes in chronological order, rather than a story.