Mission X Part 4
Out of Tune
by
Sailor Janus
plus
Interview with a Gundam Pilot
"BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP," Duo's alarm clock blared, startling the jumpy teen awake.
"Ehhh, Shut UP!" he shouted, trying to reach for the snooze button. "It's too damn early!" Of course, since the pilot's eyes were so blurry, he couldn't seem to find the snooze or off button for that matter. Instead the defenseless yet annoying wake up device wound up being thrown across the room, crashing fatally into the wall. Alarm clock number twenty-two has permanently been deactivated.
Pleased with his success, the cobalt blue-eyed teen, closed his eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. However this was a failure when Heero began pounding on his bedroom door.
"Duo! Get up or we'll be late for our mission!" a muffled voice called out from behind the wooden door. The Perfect Soldier refused to call it either a rehearsal or practice.
Lazily, the teen stumbled to the door signaling he was up, meeting a still partially drowsy Heero Yuy glaring at him. "Hi Heerooooo," Duo yawned as he fell asleep on his feet.
"Duo, wake up now, before I make you," the Perfect Soldier said appearing very annoyed with his friend.
"Huh? But it's so early! Why the hell do we have to be up at two in the freaking morning?!" the long haired teen whined as Heero rolled his Prussian blue eyes.
"Just get ready," the Wing Zero pilot ordered as he left for his own room.
Duo groaned as closed the door behind him. "Fine. This is so uncool," he groggily muttered to himself, glaring at bed with envy.
*~*~*~*
Duo and Heero both had to down two cups of coffee each in order to keep their drooping eyes open. The other guys will probably show up any moment. Hopefully, Trowa was completely awake since he was the only one who actually had enough patience driving.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. The two teens exchanged glances until the Perfect Soldier decided he might as well get it since perhaps the short walk may get his blood going, aiding in waking up the pilot.
Upon opening the door, it revealed his three very tired looking friends. Trowa appeared to be the only one that was not falling asleep on his feet as both Quatre and Wufei were leaning against the tall teen.
Unfortunately, once he took a step forward to walk inside the small apartment which Heero and Duo shared, Quatre and Wufei wound up falling on their faces to the ground. At least they were awake now.
"Ouch. That's got to hurt," the green-eyed circus performer cringed as both he and Heero stared down at their friends who looked both confused and in pain.
The two exhausted pilots winced as they rubbed their faces while carefully sitting up looking a little more alert, which really did not say too much.
The Prussian blue-eyed teen helped Quatre to his feet as Trowa helped the Chinese teen. "You two okay?"
"Just shut up, Yuy," Wufei grumbled as he brushed past the Wing Zero pilot in hopes of regaining some of his dignity.
"Hey it's Wu-man! Wu-man! Guess what?! I've had COFFEE!" Duo chirped as he raced around the room.
Heero dropped his head as he covered his face with one hand. Great now they had hyper a Duo on their hands. Why didn't he limit his friend's caffeine intake?!
"Just how many cups did he have?!" The Arabian asked, gaping at the pilot who was running in circles around the room.
"Too many," Trowa nodded.
The Perfect Soldier cringed as the chestnut brown-haired teen appeared to be trying to dance but since he was so jittery, it looked like he was being electrocuted instead. "The last time I counted it was two but he probably had more when I left because you guys were at the door."
Quatre nodded his head. "Well, we better leave now or we'll end up late."
"Anyone got some duct tape?" Wufei inquired in regards to their hyperactive friend.
*~*~*~*
By some miracle, the pilots managed to get Duo, with an extreme caffeine high, out to the van. Sadly, they also had to be in dress as well which made getting into the van for some, very interesting.
Quatre, Heero, and Wufei actually had a very easy time getting inside since they were all wearing jeans. Poor Duo with his long duster and Trowa with his way too baggy sweatpants was another story.
The caffeine happy pilot during his first attempt into the van, stepped on the coat, and slipped, falling out on his butt. The second attempt, he tried crawling inside, but the bottom of the duster got caught on the door, yanking the teenager out once again. Finally in a rage he pulled off the annoying coat, and successfully climbed in.
Trowa on the other hand, had gotten his pants leg caught on the brake as he tried to start the van, and concluded that driving with pants this huge was a very bad safety hazard. Luckily the teen decided to wear a pair of shorts underneath the XXXL pants he was swimming in, and took them off, finding driving in a pair of shorts was a lot easier.
*~*~*~*
The five reluctant boy band members arrived at Soduh Pop Records with plenty of time to spare. At least they won't be hassled again for being late.
Once they walked inside, a very frantic Duo raced around the building trying to find a bathroom. Apparently, the five cups of coffee he drank finally hit him.
"There are my boys!" George Columbus cheered as he stepped out of his office and enveloped the four boys in a huge group hug. "Hey! Where's DJ?!"
"Uh, he had to visit the bathroom. Too much coffee," Quatre admitted as he mouthed to Heero who was pulling out his gun, 'Put the gun away!' Apparently, the trigger-happy teen did not like being touched much less hugged.
Just then a very relieved Duo hopped out of the bathroom. "Remind me not to drink so much coffee," he grumbled.
"We will," his four friends dryly chorused as they rolled their eyes at the calmer teen.
"DJ! My man!" the manager shouted as he hugged the gaping teen that was standing, completely frozen out of shock.
A second later George released him and turned his attention to the other boys who were trying not to snicker at Duo's facial expressions.
'Ack! He hugged me?! That was not in the contract!' the braided-haired pilot thought gagging as he caught sight of the manager's newest outfit consisting of a mustard yellow colored shirt, black pants, and a funky looking electric blue tie. 'Someone arrest that guy! Please!'
"Now my boys, first is going to be vocal lessons, followed by a short break then wardrobe, a quick lunch break, a little more paper work and then choreography. Any questions?" George said as he glanced at each of the five teenagers who shook their heads. With a grin he clapped his hands together and pointed them down the hall. "Good, you may report to Stan now."
Quietly, the gundam pilots headed off in the indicated direction. They were much too tired to argue. Hell, George could have told them they to wear pink tutus and prance down the hallway to the music of Swan Lake and they would not have argued.
*~*~*~*
The Xtreme boys found themselves in a rather large recording room, which had successfully made them quite nervous. Can any of them actually sing?
"All right fellas, take a seat. I want you boys to try singing a little of your newest slow hit and later on we'll work on the faster, more upbeat song," Stan said as he passed out several sheets of paper with some of the craziest lyrics the five pilots had ever seen. "Oops, I forgot the tape with your music on it. I'll be right back. Uh, take this time to look over the words and we'll decide who sings what part."
Quickly the music man sprinted out of the room to retrieve the missing tape as the five teenagers exchanged horrified glances.
"This is what we have to sing?! May the world end now," Quatre sighed as he closed his eyes in disbelief.
Wufei blinked at the words in front of him, "This has got to be a nightmare!" he grumbled as Duo fell off the chair, in pure shock.
"Geez! I could write better material than this! It looks like a kindergartener wrote this stuff! Now I'm afraid to see what else we may have to sing!" Duo exclaimed as he climbed back onto the stool.
Heero and Trowa nodded their heads silently in agreement as Stan entered the room once again.
"Okay, we'll take it with the first section and from there, decide who will do what part. Um, DJ you're up," the dark-haired man suggested as the braided-haired teen gulped. "Wait for me to signal.... ready... go."
"You make me feeeeel hiiiiiigher. I can fly through fiiiire. Your love-" Duo croaked out as everyone excluding Stan tried not to snicker.
"Hold it DJ! You're not using the breaks!" the vocal coach said with a sigh. "Let's give Ali a try."
"Uh, do I have to?" the blonde nervously said as he tried to sink in the stool. Which was a very difficult task to accomplish.
Stan rolled his eyes as he started the music again. "There is nothing to worry about. 1... 2... 3... go!"
After a quick gulp, Quatre was off, well kind of, "You make... me... feel... higher? I ... can... fly... through... fire. Your love-"
"Stop! I can see I'll probably have to work with you boys. Coal, you're next."
The Chinese teen however shook his head. "No way am I making a fool out of myself! This is injustice! There is no honor to this!"
"Coal, this is just practice and believe it or not, you boys will improve. Well, hopefully. Now 1... 2... 3... go!"
Wufei rolled his but decided to go along with it anyway. "You make me feel higher-"
"Coal! sing, don't speak!"
The pilot grumbled for a few minutes before trying again. " You make... ME feel higher. I can... FLY through fire. Your love... MAKES me sing-"
'Okay, good, I'm going to need some aspirin after this one,' the vocal coach decided as he cut the music. "Travis, you're up."
Trowa sighed but considered giving it a shot. After all they were bound by contracts and the silly mission. Life could be so difficult. "You make... me feel hiiiigerrrr. I can... fly through fiiirrre. Your love... makes me siiing. You arrre my looove ooon wiiiings."
Stan blinked, amazed that the quiet boy actually didn't sound half bad. He decided to make a mental note to give Travis a lot of the slow songs. "Good! Good! Okay, last one. Chase! Let's hear you sing."
Heero glared at the man. He was not one for singing, but considering the fact that this was a mission, he concluded, he really had no choice. As soon as he was given a signal the Perfect Soldier gave it a shot...and crashed and burned. "You make... me feel higher. I can fly... through fire-"
"Chase! A little, let's make that a lot more emotion please?!"
"Hn." Heero grunted as he crossed his arms firmly stating that he was not going to do anymore.
"Fine then we'll work on that too," Stan sighed, as he speed up the tape. "Let's try the chorus part all together. Um, Travis, you do the interjections. 1... 2... 3."
The five reluctant boy band members exchanged quick glances before they were off. Did they really have to sing this part?! Let the world end now.
"Leeet's fly!" -Trowa
"Soaring through the skies of bright bluue." - Others
"Leeet's fly!" - Trowa
"I never feel like this without yoou." -Others
"Leeet's fly!" - Trowa
"Making my heart start to sing. You are my love on wiiingss." - All
Suddenly the music broke as Stan cringed at the sound coming out of the five boy's mouths. "Geez! I think I have heard stray dogs sound better than you five! Are you boys tone deaf or something?! That was just terrible!"
The teens sighed as they checked the clock discovering it was only a half hour to go before a short break and then it was off to wardrobe. Will the torture ever end?!"
*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: I'm loving the reviews and am so glad you like this story!
Oh! The songs I am planning on using and changing right now are "I want it that way" (You are my love on wings) and Larger than life, which is actually going to turn out very humorous. The reason I am using BSB is because at some point in their songs, everyone has to do a small solo, while Nsync it's always Justin and JC that are singing with maybe Chris. Yeah, I have researched this with the help of a friend as well as endured a few videos, which I actually burst out laughing because it's either the clothes, or the movements send me into hysterics. Color me strange. You wouldn't be the first.
Anyway, if you want a real performance get either a Midi of the songs or use your own CD/Tape. Believe me, it matches up perfectly when you put my new lyrics with theirs. You may also get some funny mental images of Heero glaring as he sings, Duo acting crazy, Wufei scowling, and Quatre appearing very timid.
Next up: The chaotic world of Cyn Ikle, the wardrobe lady.
Now
Interview with a Gundam Pilot
::SJ is found dragging something heavy into the room. Turns out, it's none other than the Altron pilot himself, Chang Wufei. Luckily he is gagged as well::
SJ: Uh heh. How else did you expect me to get him here?! Wuffy boy over here, doesn't like me too well, remember? ^_^;;
Wufei: ::face is turning bright red with rage:: Mmmphhhhh!
SJ: Oh hush up! The ropes aren't that tight!
Wufei: -_-
::SJ notices the camera is on as she lugs the enraged Altron pilot onto a chair. Quickly she races to her own chair, but trips over it instead, flipping both herself and the chair to the ground::
Wufei: ::rolls his eyes::
SJ: ::grumbles:: Damn cheap chairs. ::smiles from the floor and place her hands angelically on her chin:::: Uh, hi! And welcome back to another episode of Interview with a Gundam Pilot! Today's guest is the most honor-obsessed pilot of them all, Chang Wufei! So how are you today?
Wufei: -_- MMPHHHH!
SJ: Oh uh right. Would help if I take off the gag, eh heh. ^_^;;
::carefully she climbs off the floor and walks over to the pilot with a sigh, slowly removing the gag from Wufei's mouth::
Wufei: Injustice baka onna!
SJ: Be good Wufei or I'll have your precious Nataku custom painted pink with purple flowers spread all over it!
Wufei: O.O;; You wouldn't.
SJ ::stares at Wufei with a smirk::
Wufei: ::mutters:: Damn evil onna.
SJ: Now then, how are you today? ^_^
Wufei: I was fine until a psycho came to my house, kidnapped me, and dragging me to a TV studio. -_-
SJ: ::glares:: Eh, okay now for the questions. Wufei, why do you keep your hair pulled back so tightly? Don't you get headaches from it?
Wufei: ::glares:: And what kind of question is that supposed to be?
SJ: It's just a question! Geez, you'd think I insulted you or something?! Fine! Just how many bottles of gel did you use to make it stay that way then? 20? 40? 100?! -_-
Wufei: ::growls:: And yet another baka question brought to you by a baka onna. -_-
SJ: ::flatly:: Just answer the damn questions or I am going to cook something for you, which I'll guarantee will be much worse than Catherine's soup.
Wufei; O_o;; Do you even know how bad her cooking is?! Her soup tastes more like soap!
SJ: u_u I burn or more likely, cremate refrigerated cookie dough and set the smoke detectors off when I even attempt to cook a bagel.
Wufei: O_O;; Are you both from the same flunky cooking school?! Fine. I like to keep my hair out of my face. Makes it a lot easier to fight if your own hair does not blind you. At first I used to get headaches but I'm used to it by now, and one bottle a week.
SJ: Now was that so hard? ^_^
Wufei ::grumbled:: Yes.
SJ: New question. Do you still wear your glasses or do you wear contacts?
Wufei: ::sighs:: Contacts but I still need to keep my glasses because I can't wear them all the time.
SJ: Yep, I know that fact. So have you ever tried the colored ones? ^_^
Wufei: Why be something I am not?
SJ ::blinks:: O-kay. Just how many languages do you know? I mean, you seem to be able to talk to the other pilots perfectly, which are from other countries, or at least their colonies are.
Wufei: About forty.
SJ: So did you understand when Duo and Trowa used to transmit Spanish television stations from their translators like Quatre described?
Wufei: ::snickers:: You mean when Maxwell asked If you have ever had that not so fresh feeling in Spanish?
SJ ::smirks:: That's the one.
Wufei: Now that was priceless! I wish I could have tape recorded that, of course the best one was when Maxwell, began saying lines from a soap. He swore he'd never live that one down.
SJ: What happened?
Wufei: ::smirks:: The lines were of this girl proclaiming her love for some boy band. The only thing is, he was in a very crowded electronic store and we so happened to be in Mexico on a mission.
SJ: O.O Poor Duo. So then what?!
Wufei: He was very quiet for the rest of the mission. ^_^
SJ: Ouch. Well, maybe not for you guys because I hear he has the tendency to babble quite a bit but I'll bet he was quite embarrassed.
Wufei: Yeah. It was great. ^_^
SJ: Okay, one more question what does Nataku mean and why do you ask your Gundam for strength?
Wufei: Fine, I'll humor you. Nataku means strong which is why I ask it for strength. If my Gundam is already strong then it could possibly lend its strength to me.
SJ: ::blinks:: You know... that actually makes sense. We'll that's about all the time we have today so tune in next weak for my interview with the Perfect Solider himself, Heero Yuy. ^_^
Wufei: Better wear a bulletproof vest SJ.
SJ: O.o;; Cut camera.
*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: Hope this one sounded okay. I was having some trouble with this one actually, lol. Nothing crazy happened to me this week!
Heero's interview, however I'm picturing is going to be the best of the five just because he is well, Heero.
Thank you for the suggestions. I mainly use what believe is both appropriate and humorous. If I didn't use your suggestion, it was probably because I couldn't think up an answer that sounded right.
Oh, Nataku really does mean strong.
Next week Interview with Heero Yuy.
SJ: ::gulps:: Anyone have a bulletproof vest? O_o;;;