DISCLAIMERS: See first chapter

Chapter Four

KEYWORD: VODKA

To: Heath Slater
From: Justin Gabriel (college setting)
Subject: Daniel Bryan
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.

To: Twitter
From: Anna Hollenbeck
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.

To: Jeff Hardy
From: Rob Van Dam and Mr. Anderson
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in

To: Everyone on his phone list
From: Matt Hardy
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

To: Shannon Moore
From: Anna Hollenbeck
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

To: Twitter
From: Jeff Hardy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

To: Christian
From: Edge and Chris Jericho
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
To:Edge and Chris Jericho
From: Christian
how could i say no?

To: Matt Hardy
From: Reby Sky
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

To: Edge
From: Christian (college setting)
Subject: Jeff Hardy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.

To: Twitter
From: Shane Helms
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself

To: Jeff Hardy
From: Matt Hardy
Subject: Edge
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
To: Matt Hardy
From: Jeff Hardy
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

To Twitter
From: Ryan Shamrock
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.

To: Heath Slater
From: Justin Gabriel (college setting)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
To: Justin Gabriel
From: Heath Slater
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.

To: Twitter
From: Jeff Hardy
I puked last night after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

To: Randy Orton
From: John Cena
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

To: Matt Hardy
From: Christian
Subject: Anna Hollenbeck
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.

To: Matt Hardy
From: Edge
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.

To:Twitter
From: Anna Hollenbeck
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.

To: Twitter
From: Jeff Hardy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

To: John Cena
From: Randy Orton
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

To: Matt Hardy
From: Edge and Christian (Jericho was also involved)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.

To: Twitter
From: Evan Bourne (college setting)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.

To: Justin Gabriel
From: Heath Slater
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
To: Heath Slater
From: Justin Gabriel
My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up

To: Shannon Moore
From: Jeff Hardy
Subject: Matt and Reby
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.

To: Randy Orton
From: Cody Rhodes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all

To: Twitter
From: Laycool
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub

To: Kimo
From: Shannon Moore
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.

To: Shane Helms
From: Rob Van Dam
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee, i misplaced my car.

To: Twitter
From: Cody Rhodes
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls

To: Twitter
From: Anna Hollenbeck
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka

To: Matt and Jeff Hardy
From: Rob Van Dam
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?

To: Edge
From: Christian
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.

To: Twitter
From: Maryse
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.

To: Daniel Bryan
From: Evan Bourne
Subject: Last night's party
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

To: Randy Orton
From: John Cena
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt

To: James Lawson
From: The Undertaker
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it

To: Twitter
From: Matt Hardy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better

~~~TFLNWS~~~~

KEYWORD: McDonald's

To: Matt Hardy
From: Shannon Moore
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

To: Christian
From: Edge
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
To: Edge
From: Christian
like it was yesterday

To: Shannon Moore
From: Anna Hollenbeck
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot

To: Matt Hardy
From: Edge and Jeff Hardy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.

To: Twitter
From: Matt Hardy
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

To: Mr. Anderson
From: Rob Van Dam
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

To: Twitter
From:Edge
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
To: Twitter
From:Edge
She started it, but I totally finished it.

To: Twitter
From: Rob Van Dam
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

To: John Cena
From: Randy Orton
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

To: Colt Cabana
From: CM Punk
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.

To: Twitter
From: Randy Orton
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

To: Twitter
From: Heath Slater
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

To: Evan Bourne
From: Daniel Bryan
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds

To: Matt Hardy
From: Jeff Hardy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!...how many u want?
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Matt Hardy
All of them

To: Cooper Lawson
From: Jeff Hardy
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Cooper Lawson
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

To: Maryse
From: Ted Dibiase
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

To: Shannon Moore
From: Matt Hardy
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

To:Heath Slater
From: Justin Gabriel and Wade Barrett
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

To: Kimo
From: Matt Hardy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
To: Matt Hardy
From: Kimo
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

To: Randy Orton
From: Cody Rhodes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

To: Twitter
From: Kimo
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.

To: Twitter
From: John Cena
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.

To: Matt and Jeff Hardy
From: Shannon Moore
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?
To: Shannon Moore
From: Matt and Jeff Hardy
Yes.
To: Matt and Jeff Hardy
From: Shannon Moore
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria

To: Twitter
From: Edge and Christian
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

To: Twitter
From: Kimo
I was drunk at matts. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. Wtf

To: Natalya
From: Beth Phoenix
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.

To: Christian
From: Edge
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
To: Edge
From: Christian
RUDE.
To: Christian
From: Edge
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
To: Edge
From: Christian
outsmarted mickey deeeees

To: Twitter
From: Laycool
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery

To: Twitter
From: Ryan Shamrock
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

To: The Undertaker
From: James Lawson
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes...low point.

To: Ryan Shamrock
From: Anna Hollenbeck
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.

To: Twitter
From: Matt Hardy (Lita was also involved)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.

To: Twitter
From: Edge
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds

To: Matt Hardy
From: Anna Hollenbeck
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed

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