CHAPTER FOUR: IN YOUR ARMS

Five years ago.

If someone cut Misaki open she was sure they would see it. She was sure that her heart was visibly misshapen. That a chunk had been taken out and that's why it was so hard to breathe. That's why she cried, because she wanted that part back. Because her blood couldn't flow right without it. Because her life wouldn't be the same with it gone.

Rin had been gone for nearly three months. He missed Misaki's twelfth birthday though he did send her a card. When she opened it it sang an unknown melody that caused her heart to twitch and beg for that missing piece back. The card came with a letter that by the end of the month was wet with tears and crumpled from hands holding on too tight.

Hey Misaki-

Happy birthday! I bet you ate a ton of cake on your birthday right? If I'd been there I would have made you a cake. Vanilla- cause that's your favorite. Things here are going good. There are a lot of good swimmers but I'm sure I can keep up. I'm gonna be the best. I have your necklace in my room. I'll take good care of it. I miss you and well don't laugh when you read the next part but I love you.

-Rin

He loved her yet he hadn't been able to verbalize it while he was here. It took over a month of being apart for him to write it out. It took no time at all for Misaki to write it back to him. Something about curling those four letters together made Misaki glimmer. Made her dream of the day she'd be able to hear Rin say it. Hear those three words come from his mouth and Misaki knew that he'd mean it. That he meant it now. That he'd mean it forever.

Rin-

I didn't eat any cake on my birthday. Instead my parents got me a dozen doughnuts and made them into the shape of a cake. They're so weird. I bet you're already the best swimmer there. I don't think anyone could be better than you. If you have time you should send me some pictures of Australia. I read online that there are HUGE spiders there. Is that true? I miss you a lot. Sometimes I just wish you would come back but I know you will one day. I wear your bracelet every day, I'll probably still be wearing it when you come back! I love you too.

-Misaki

Samezuka Academy. The all-boys school. Also known as a place that Misaki felt she had no place at. "Can't you come with me?" Misaki's gaze flicked up towards her boyfriend before looking back at the boy infested school.

"I don't think I'd be much help."

Misaki groaned, her shoulders slumping forward, "I still can't believe you asked Rin to tutor me."

"He's the best at math, plus I really don't want you to have to go to summer school. And well I want you guys to be friends. I want to be able to hang out with you even when Rin's around."

Misaki turned to look up at Makoto before pushing herself onto the balls of her feet in order to give him a kiss on the cheek, "I'll text you okay?"

"Okay," Makoto slid a strong arm around Misaki's waist before softly pressing his lips against hers for only a moment, "Have fun."

Misaki wanted another kiss but Makoto was already moving away from her with a gorgeous smile lighting up his face, "Yeah I will."

The first few steps across the campus were uncomfortable. Any passing males instantly noticed her and while some just took one look then turned away others shamelessly stared. Even the office was full of males who were all eagerly listening for who she wanted to see. Once the name 'Rin Matsuoka' left her mouth a few of them snickered. One of them drew her a pretty terrible map of the campus with a circle over where Rin's dorm was. All Misaki did was say 'thanks' and leave the office with a map in hand.

"You're late."

Misaki's skin crawled and hair stood on edge as she heard Rin's gruff voice from down the hall. "Sorry?"

"And don't go to the office from now on."

It took Rin three long strides to get to Misaki and one more step to walk past her. Misaki figured she should follow even though Rin never instructed her to. "Any more instructions oh mighty one?"

"Yeah. Keep calling me that."

Rin didn't used to have that smirk when they were kids. Sure he had a smug look to him even then but never that look. The kind of look that made Misaki want to blush. Made her wonder what was on his mind as his eyes flicked over her body.

"Get that stupid look off your face," Rin scoffed, pushing the door open as he led them outside, "And keep up."

Misaki wasn't sure what had happened over the past twenty four hours but something in Rin had definitely changed. The silence that shrouded them as they walked to his dorm was unpleasant. It was further made this way due to Rin rarely looking over at Misaki. It was like he was trying to ignore her and when he wasn't ignoring her he was either ordering her around or insulting her.

It took them thirty minutes just to do one math problem that should have taken them five. Misaki had missed it on her homework today and just wanted to know what the answer should have been. Instead of giving her a straight answer Rin mumbled something about her intelligence and then tried to teach her a much more complicated problem that was only slightly related to the one she missed. In truth the whole hour of tutoring was a disaster and Misaki was torn between wanting to cry and wanting to slap Rin in the face.

"God do you even know how to do basic addition? The whole reason you missed this is because you added wrong."

Misaki had taken a lot of insults over the past hour. Rin had called her dumb, told her she should be in third grade, wondered aloud if she'd ever understand math, and even threatened to stop helping her if she didn't turn her brain on- and Misaki said nothing the entire time. She took it in and just tried harder but she was now thoroughly done with dealing with him.

"Yes Rin I know how to do simple addition the real question is do you know how much of an asshole you're being?" Misaki was nearly fuming and if it wasn't for her anger she surely would have succumb to her tears.

The shock on Rin's face lasted for a moment before his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed, "What did you just call me?"

"An asshole," Misaki said it slowly and deliberately, "Yeah I know I suck at math but I don't need you to be such a dick about it! Why are you even acting this way?"

Rin didn't reply. Instead he stared down at the floor of his dorm room. Teeth were clenched and red eyes flicked towards the female. Misaki watched his gaze move to her wrist as if he were checking to make sure the bracelet was still there. It was.

Misaki's voice softened, her eyes focusing on the bunk beds to her right, "If this is about-"

"Don't." Rin's voice was low and threatening as if one more word out of Misaki's mouth would cause him to combust, "Whatever you're thinking is wrong okay? It's just been a long day."

"Okay but I think maybe we should talk about-"

Rin's fist hit the floor with a bang, red eyes glaring at the noirette, "There's no point. Things changed just leave it at that."

And just like that Misaki watched five years of unresolved issues get swept under the rug. She watched as Rin fought to keep this conversation from happening. Fought to keep Misaki from trying to explain why she gave up on waiting for him but also why she kept the bracelet. Misaki thought the only way to move forward was to discuss what happened. Rin thought it was best to just ignore it and Misaki couldn't help but wonder if he was right.

Misaki wasn't able to speak after seeing Rin's outburst. It was obvious that he was mad and Misaki didn't know how to help or even if she could. Instead she stared at the ground they were sitting on. Ears perked as she heard Rin let out a long sigh before he closed the math book that lay in front of them.

"Nitori will probably be back soon."

"Is that your roommate?" Misaki questioned, taking the hint that she should probably leave.

"Yeah I told him I'd be tutoring you for an hour after swim practice so he could figure out somewhere else to be."

"It's okay if he's around," Misaki's shoulders moved up into a shrug as she stood and slung her bag over her shoulder, "I don't mind."

The only warning Misaki had was the irritated grunt Rin let out before he was wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "I'm sorry for being such an asshole today."

Misaki's senses were on fire as the mumbled apology reached her ear. Her whole body focused on how it felt to have his arms wrapped around her. How his palms lay flat against her back as he rested his cheek on top of her head. How her ear rested over his heart, which was beating quickly. She noticed how he pulled her in and held her tightly against his chest with no sign of letting go. Her cheeks became flushed as she raised two shaky arms and snaked them around his waist.

She could feel his body jerk at the contact, his muscles tensing as her fingertips grazed across his lower back. "Okay," it was the only word Misaki would manage to say as her mind was currently overloaded with how good this embrace felt. How nice it was to be able to hold him and to be held by him.

"I get it if you'd rather find someone else to tutor you."

"No," the word was strong yet fearful as Misaki tightened her hold and pressed her cheek into Rin's chest as she whispered the last part of her sentence, "I don't want to find anyone else."

Author's Note: So I'll probably be throwing in more flashbacks at the beginning of chapters to help show Misaki's relationship with not just Rin but also Makoto and such. Thanks to everyone who added this story to their alerts and favorited it.

InsomniaticActs:thanks for reviewing and i feel like Rin/Misaki needs some cute ship name and so does Makoto/Misaki that way people have a name for who they ship in this story.

If anyone has any name ideas leave it in a review and let me know what you think of the story so far :)